A Cold And Broken Hallelujah
by Demolition.Lover.14
Summary: There's something in that room, something alive. It's been in there for three centuries, so I've been told. Don't fool yourself, it isn't locked. He just doesn't want you going in there. Not Sweeney. Not Sweeney Todd. The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
1. I Cannot Find A Way To Describe It

_**Chapter One  
>I Cannot Find A Way To Describe It<strong>_

_I cannot find a way to describe it  
>It's there inside; all I do is hide<br>I wish that it would just go away  
>What would you do, you do, if you knew<br>What would you do_

_All the pain I thought I knew_  
><em>All the thoughts lead back to you<em>  
><em>Back to what was never said<em>  
><em>Back and forth inside my head<em>  
><em>I can't handle this confusion<em>  
><em>I'm unable; come and take me away<em>  
><em>~Take Me Away, Avril Lavigne<em>

* * *

><p>Heartbeat.<p>

It pounded quickly and fast, skipping a beat every now and then. Combined with the unbearable pain in my stomach, and I felt incredibly uncomfortable.

Tears trickled down my cheeks in an uncontrollable rate as I drove along the empty street, my CD playing softly. The lyrics seemed to seep out of the player, wrapping their comforting words around my shaking body. Unfortunately, the music did not make me feel better, as it usually did. Instead, I only felt worse.

Finally realising that I couldn't drive any longer, I pulled over and cut the engine. Unable to contain myself any longer, I let out a strangled sob and leaned forwards, my head bashing against the steering wheel.

I hated Jared.

I hated him with every part of my body.

I had never hated anyone as much as I hated him.

Just thinking about him made my blood boil and my fists clench, the shaking increasing.

But I loved him.

Jared was my first love, from the minute I set eyes on him in secondary school.

And he killed my baby.

My baby.

His baby.

Our baby.

He was so happy when I told a month ago. He picked me up and swung me around, laughing and crying at the same time. He put his hand on my stomach and started talking to our barely developed baby, telling it that he couldn't wait to it.

We even planned what we were going to call our baby.

I wanted to call it Liam, after my Dad, if our baby was a boy. Dad died when I was eleven of a heart attack, a few months after I started secondary school, and I knew that he would be honoured if I named my child after him.

Jared decided that if our baby was a girl, I could also pick the first name, but her middle name had to be Dorothy, after his grandmother who passed away just last year. Jared and Dorothy were very close, so he was devastated when she died.

We were going to get married.

My finger felt horribly bare without the delicate diamond engagement ring resting on it. It had been Dorothy's, making it even more special.

But I left it behind.

_Little shop, little shoppa horrors. Little shop, little shoppa terror. Call a cop. Little shoppa horrors. No, oh, oh, no-oh!_

My phone ringing made me jump violently, my whole body jerking up and my head snapping to the side. On the seat next to me, my phone was lighting up and vibrating along to the tone. I stared at it for a moment, suddenly and irrationally fearful of it.

And then I saw the caller ID.

I hurridedly undid my seatbelt and practically jumped across the seat, grabbing my mobile and answering it.

"Anna!" I gasped, my voice coming out as a hoarse croak.

"My spidey senses were tingling," She told me. "Where are you?"

I gave her the name of the street, still sobbing desperately.

"Ok, honey, I want you to stay exactly where you are. Don't go anywhere."

I made a weak noise of agreement.

"I want you to promise me hat you won't go anywhere, Niamh."

"I promise." I whispered.

Anna was about to hang up when I spoke again.

"Please hurry." I begged quietly.

"I will."

Anna hung up and I put my phone down on the seat next to me, wrapping my arms around myself as I continued crying.

I don't know how long I sat there in my car, crying to myself. Time seemed to drag on until years passed, and even then Anna didn't appear.

I needed Jared.

He hurt me. He hurt me physically and mentally. He hurt me from the moment we got together as an official couple.

But I never left him.

The first time he hit me, I ran out of the flat and ended up at Anna's. It was several years ago, so she still lived alone, with the occasional visit from her then-boyfriend, Micheal. They split up by mutual agreement after realising it wasn't going to work.

I had spent the night at Anna's (the first of many), and the next day, Jared had turned up at the door with a large bunch of red roses, a box of chocolates and a necklace.

Of course, I went back to him.

What else could I do?

I loved him and, though he rarely said it out loud, I knew he loved me too.

A gentle rap at the window made me jump, and I was thankful to see Anna bending down, her curly blonde hair pinned back into a neat bun.

"Open the door." She mouthed. It took me at least a minute to do so; my hands were shaking so much that I messed up each time I tried.

The doors finally open, I practically fell out of the car and onto the pavement, straight into Anna's arms. For such a petite woman, she was very strong.

"Theo, help Niamh into the back," She instructed firmly, gently transferring my shaking figure from her arms to Theo's, who I had failed to notice joined Anna in helping me. "I'll drive."

Theo, Anna's gay flat mate and best friend of ours, wrapped his arms around me and helped me into the back of my cute VW Bug that I brought with my inheritance. The minute I came of age to recieve the money both Dad and my grandparents had left me, I had dragged Anna to the nearest car dealer and snatched the car up.

And now I was curled up on the back seat, clinging to Theo's jumper with as much strength I possessed.

"It's ok, honey, it's ok." Theo said softly, holding me in a warm embrace. I buried my face into his shoulder, the soft fabric stroking my skin.

God, why was Theo gay?

No one really spoke as Anna drove my car and Theo held me. The two of them would make the occasional comment, but apart from that, silence loomed over us like a heavy cloud.

I barely noticed as the car pulled into the car park of Anna's block of apartments. My mind simply didn't register the journey from my car to the lift to Anna's flat. I didn't even know whose arms were around me, supporting me.

"Sit down, Niamh." Anna ordered firmly but gently, her hands on my shoulders as she pushed me down onto her three seater sofa that she'd picked up at a car boot sale. Theo wrapped a thick blanket around my shoulders, but then left me to join Anna in the kitchen, which was seperated from the living room with a large counter.

I sat silently, gently swaying back and forth, unable to comprehend anything.

I felt empty.

"Niamh, honey, drink this."

My eyes met Anna's, and she gazed straight back at me, holding out a mug. I hoped it contained alcohol, but from the steam rising in nearly transparent swirls, I presumed it wasn't.

"What is it?" I asked, my voice still a hoarse croak.

"It's coffee."

"I'm not thirsty."

"Niamh, don't you dare give me that crap. Drink the god damn coffee before I force it down your throat." Anna growed. I glared up at her feebly before snatching the mug and taking a defiant sip from it.

"You're so babyish."

"Shut up."

Anna grinned triumphantly. I glared at her again before realising her motive, unable to stop the feeble giggle that rose to my throat.

"You're such a cunning bi- "

"Watch it," Theo warned. "No bad language in my flat."

"Excuse me? Your flat?"

Theo smiled apologetically at Anna. "Sorry, honey, _our _flat."

I glared at the two of them, taking another sip of coffee. The warm and caffinated drink ran through my veins, and suddenly, I felt less empty.

Theo and Anna continued to banter good naturedly, and I listened silently. Without my friends, I would have nothing.

Maybe...

Maybe things weren't going to be so bad after all.

"Hey! I thought we stopped the crying!"

I hadn't realised rouge tears running down my cheeks until Anna reached out and brushed them away with her finger. I stared at her, unable to think of something to say.

"I..."

Anna shushed me, scooting forwards and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. Without saying a word, she gave me an one armed hug and held me close.

"What has that man done to you?" She whispered, rocking me like a baby. I knew the answer.

He broke me.

Jared had broken me into millions of tiny pieces. He had broken me so efficently that I couldn't be fixed again.

I might as well be dead.

"Come on, Niamh, all this stress can't be good for the baby." Theo said kindly.

I know he meant well, and that he was only trying to help, but it made it worse.

The hole inside me seemed to get bigger.

"There isn't a baby." I whispered.

"What?"

I finally looked up at my friends, staring at both of them with a blank expression.

"There isn't a baby," I repeated. "Not anymore."

Anna stared at me with a horrified expression, her brow furrowed and her mouth open. Theo couldn't meet my gaze, and instead stared at his lap.

"What happened?" Anna asked.

"We were arguing...Jared thought I was cheating on him...that the baby wasn't his..." I swallowed. "He started shouting at me and I shouted back at him so...so he..." A few more tears trickled down my cheeks, but I wiped them away impaitently. "He hit me. Again."

"Again?" Theo repeated.

"Niamh, you swore that the abuse was over!" Anna cried, punching the sofa. "God dammit, woman, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I didn't want you two to think that I'm weak." I admitted quietly.

"Weak? For putting up with a man that hit you? Jesus, Niamh, you an idiot, but you're not weak!"

"Jared made me feel weak."

"Jared is a nasty bully that gets his kicks out of beating woman," Anna said firmly. "And tomorrow we're going to the police."

"What? No!"

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!"

At this point, Anna and I were stood up, squaring to each other.

"Alright, girls, as much as I love a cat fight between girlies, right now is not the appropiate time." Theo intervened, standing between us. Anna and I glared at each other again before sighing and sitting down.

"Sorry, Niamh."

"If I go to the police and they don't charge him, what do you think Jared will do?" I asked them both. "He'll kill me. He will hunt me down and he will kill me."

They both knew that I wasn't exaggerating.

Anna reached forwards and gripped my hands, staring me straight in the eye.

"Niamh Olivia Quinn, I swear to God, we will not let that bastard any near you, will we, Theo?"

"He wouldn't dare," Theo agreed grimly. "Not with my hench muscles."

This made me laugh; Theo hated all forms of excersise and was so lanky that he put string beans to shame. Definately not hench.

"Hey, we got a smile!" Theo cried triumphantly.

My smile faded slightly. Why was I smiling and laughing when my baby had just died?

It wasn't fair.

"Don't stop, babe," Theo said, moving to sit on my other side. "Come on, you've got to keep smiling. If not for everyone else, but for yourself."

I sighed and gave Theo a small smile. He smiled back.

"That's better."

"Do you want some rest, Niamh?" Anna asked just as my eyelids began to feel heavy; the caffine was slowly leaving my system.

"Yes, please."

"Ok, I'll get the spare duvet."

Spotting my bags on the kitchen counter, I got up from the sofa and crossed the room to search through my suitcase. It didn't take long for me to find my pyjamas; my selection of clothing was small. A majority of the clothing that hung in the wardrobe were cheap and scanty things Jared brought me for going out to a seedy club in.

I made a disgusted noise to myself as I unearthed my favourite pyjamas, long green silky trousers with a matching long sleeved button up shirt. Mum gave them to me when I left home as a present.

Mum...

I was so glad that I hadn't told her about the baby.

Hugging the pyjamas to my chest, I wandered to Anna's bathroom and locked the door.

Placing my pyjamas on the closed toilet seat, I stripped down from my worn down jeans and too big t-shirt. My socks and bra joined the pile.

I stared at my reflection.

I had a dancers body, there was no doubt about it. I had participated in dance lessons since I was five and was now at the point that I performed on stage. My chest was small-ish, my waist was tiny and my legs were incredibly long.

But my pale body was covered in hideous bruises.

Splotches of deep purple, mustard yellows and sickly greens patterned my body.

I looked pathetic.

Blinking away the tears that sprung to my eyes, I picked up my pyjamas and pulled them on, loving the way the silk caressed my skin.

My stomach was killing me.

Running a hand through my hair and then tucking it behind my ear, I picked up my bundle of clothes, unlocked the bathroom door and walked back to the living room.

Anna had set up a makeshift bed on the sofa for me, complete with two pillows and a very thick duvet. Both she and Theo had also retired to their beds, so I was alone.

I threw my clothes back into my suitcase, not bothering to fold any of it, before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and then lying on the sofa.

The moment my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep.

* * *

><p>The point of the first chapter is to introduce my OC, Niamh, and her situation. Sweeney may not make an actual appearance for a few chapters - how many, I'm not sure - because certain events will need to take place before he can join the story.<p> 


	2. I Lie Awake

_**Chapter Two  
>I Lie Awake<strong>_

_I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you  
>but who can decide what they dream?<br>and dream I do  
>~Taking Over Me, Evanescence<em>

* * *

><p>I'm walking.<p>

I walk along slowly, every footstep that I take echoing. I'm in nothing but my silk pyjamas, my hair hanging loose around my face. I brush it away impatiently.

It's very cold.

I'm shivering as I walk forwards, unsure as to where I am going. It's dark.

Very dark.

I can hear sobbing, small, feeble sobs, like a child.

A child crying.

I frown, continuing forwards. I have to see this child, help this child.

I then see her.

A little girl is curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth with her head buried in her arms, which are wrapped around her legs.

She's crying.

I walk forwards hesitantly, careful not to startle her. She doesn't look up, not even when I kneel down in front of her.

"Are you ok?" I asked softly.

She finally looks up, and I gasp.

Her eyes are the exact same colour as mine.

Her eyes are the odd mixture of green and blue that mine are, a little too big and framed by thick eyelashes. Her hair is a more bronze colour, though.

Like Jared's.

Her face is pale and gaunt, with bloodshot eyes and dark patches covering both her skin and her clothing.

Blood.

"He hurt me." She whispers in a broken voice.

"He? Who's he?"

"HE HURT ME!" She screams, buring her face in her arms again, continuing to rock. "He hurt me...he hurt me..."

"Who is he?" I ask, unable to remain unfrightened.

"He's going to hurt you as well...hurt you like he hurt me..."

I stare at the little girl. She's only five or six. Her hair hangs limply, her face is too pale, she is too thin.

"Who are you?" I whisper, reaching out to her.

The little girl's head rises slowly, a sadistic grin that echoes Jared's spreading across her face. I stare at her, leaning backwards and withdrawing my hand.

"Who are you?" I repeat, my voice still barely above a whisper.

"Who am I?" She asks. "Who am I? I don't know. I have no name. I'm no one."

I stare at her, horrified, as she begins singing softly.

"_Hush little baby, don't say a word, mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird_."

My mouth is open, but words get caught in my throat, stopping me from speaking. The girl's sadistic grin grows as she continues in her song.

"_And if that mockingbird don't sing, mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring_."

"Stop it." I whisper in a strained voice.

"_And if that diamond ring turns brass, mama's gonna buy you a looking glass_."

"Stop it." I repeat, my voice stronger.

"_And if that looking glass gets broke, mama's gonna buy you a billy goat_."

"STOP IT!"

* * *

><p>I woke up with a start.<p>

My heart was pounding and a thin layer of sweat coated my forehead. Breathing in heavy pants, I pushed my hair out of my face, staring around me.

I was still in the flat.

My mind thought back to that evening...the conversation with Anna and Theo...

I sighed, lying down again and pulling the duvet up to my chin.

That nightmare really scared me.

The image of a little girl curled up, rocking back and forth, singing...it was embedded on my mind.

That was our child.

My child.

His child.

Our child.

Dead.

* * *

><p>"Jesus, Niamh, you look like crap."<p>

I glared at Theo from over the top of my mug, my eyebrows raised.

"Thanks, bitchy Queen." I shot back. Theo raised his eyebrows at the use of his crude nickname, a combination of his personality and his surname.

"Yeah, you definately didn't get a good sleep, did you?"

"Theo, can you blame me?"

"Alright, alright, I know that you're probably on a very heavy monthly and your hormones are going crazy, but don't take your shitty feelings out on me," Theo told me. "Or Anna."

I put my mug down on the counter and raised my hands in mock surrender.

"Ok, I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be, as long as you keep your shit to yourself."

I couldn't help but smile at Theo's totally no nonsense attitude. With a friend like him, how could I steer in the wrong direction?

"I honestly have no idea what I'd do without you, Theo." I admitted.

"Dress even shittier than you are now?"

I looked down at my outfit. It was my favourite pair of demin skinny jeans - they were on sale, and had lasted a grand total of two years. Plus, they were super comfy and clung to every curve of my legs like a second skin - and a too big shirt that hid both my chest and my curves.

The whole look was topped off with a pair of fluffy slippers.

"There's nothing wrong with the way I dress." I retorted.

"Yeah, when you dress decently. Right now, you look - "

"Breakfast!" Anna announced cheerily, quickly interupting the insult that was on the tip of Theo's tongue. She placed a large plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of me with a large smile. "Eat up, Niamh."

"I haven't had scrambled eggs since I got food poisoning." I said, poking my eggs with the fork. I had to admit, they did look pretty appetising.

"Well, I can assure you that Anna always cooks her eggs to perfection," Theo told me, delicately buttering his toast. "I should know. It's the only breakfast dish she can cook."

"Theo,"

"Yes, my love?"

"If you want to remain as my flatmate, I suggest that you do a lot of sucking up. Right now."

"How about I buy you a pressie from town?"

"That's a good start."

I smiled at the banter of my best friends, hesitantly starting on my eggs.

They were nice.

My smile grew as I continued eating, suddenly oblivious to the world as I continued eating. Before long, I had finished my breakfast.

"No food poisoning?" Anna joked.

"No food poisoning," I confirmed, grinning at her. "Right, I'm going to get changed."

"Wear something nice," Theo told me. "We are going to have a massive shopping spree."

* * *

><p>And Theo wasn't joking.<p>

I had to admit, I enjoyed spending some of my inheritance money. I was in dire need of new clothing, and somehow, the shopping served as a temporary therapy.

Plus I got some really awesome new Converses.

I stuck my foot out and admired my brand new pair of green Converses that replaced my crappy trainers I had worn for way too long. A small smile crept on my face as I looked down at my bags that sat on the seat next to me.

It wasn't going to heal me, but it sure was fun.

"I need to go to the estate agents next." I announced after a long drink of juice. Theo and Anna both had small glasses of wine, but I wasn't in the mood for drinking.

"Oh, Nimah," Anna moaned.

"Honestly, Anna, I can't stay with you guys. Even if I have to rent the bloody thing, I'm going to get my own place," I told her firmly. "Are you two going to come with me or not?"

Anna and Theo exchanged looks.

"What?"

"Well...we were gonna get home and watch tv with pizza and whatnot," Anna said delicately. "We thought it would be nice for you to relax for a bit."

"Oh. Well, I'll be home in time for dinner." I said with a wry grin, trying to joke.

Anna and Theo reluctantly agreed, promising to take my bags home for me while I went in search for flats.

After about an hour of wandering, I came to a very curious building.

It was very old, built on the corner of a street. A small fence seperated its back yard from the street, wooden steps leading up to another section of the building.

It was a shop.

It obviously hadn't been lived in for many years, because the windows were dirty and grimy. I frowned, rubbing one with the sleeve of my denim jacket and peering in.

It was very dark.

"Ya ain't allowed in there, miss."

The sound of someone speaking made me jump, and I turned around to see a little girl standing next to me. She was obviously no older than six, with a pale face and mad curls that were tied into bunches.

"Excuse me?"

"Ya ain't allowed in there, miss," She repeated in a heavy cockney accent. "It's 'aunted, it is."

I stared at her, my brow furrowing. "Haunted?" I repeated.

She nodded vigorously, her curls bouncing up and down. A wide, toothy grin spread across her face.

"Been 'aunted ages, it 'as."

"Really? By ghosts?"

She nodded again. "It used to belong to a real mad person, it did."

"Who was he?"

The little girl sat down on the curb, and then looked up at me expectantly until I sat next to her.

"'Is name was," The little girl looked around before leaning it, gesturing for me to do the same, as if she was telling me a great secret. "_Sweeney Todd._"

"Sweeney Todd?" I repeated, leaning back again. "Was he Irish?"

The little shook her head, looking at me in confusion. "No," She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "He weren't Irish. Why you asking that?"

I had to smile at the incredulous tone in her little voice before explaining.

"Sweeney is a Gaelic name."

"I thought you said it was Irish."

"Gaelic is like very old Irish," I told her. "My name is Gaelic, and a lot of my family are Irish."

There was a brief pause as the little girl considered this, nodding when she seemed to accept it.

"What's your name?" She asked, her brown eyes wide with curiousity.

"Niamh," I told her. "My name is Niamh."

"That's a real pretty name," She replied. "My name's Nellie."

"It's lovely to meet you, Nellie."

"Nellie!"

Nellie's head turned at the sound of her name, and she sighed in a very grown up manner.

"I've gotta go now. Bye."

"Bye."

I watched as Nellie scrambled up and ran away, jumping into the arms of a woman that looked like an older version of her. I smiled sadly to myself before also getting up, approaching the shop again.

It was for sale.

My smile widening, I saved the estate agent's number onto my phone, making a careful note to arrange a viewing as soon as possible.

* * *

><p>Sweeney is, in fact, an old Gaelic name meaning "small hero"<p>

Thank you CrystalClear99, xJill Lovett and obsessivelyfanaticgw09 for reviewing. Links for what Theo, Anna and Niamh (whose name is pronounced as Neeve) look like will be on my profile as soon as possible.


	3. Long Lost Words

_**Chapter Three  
>Long Lost Words<strong>_

_Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
>Still can't find what keeps me here<br>When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
>I know you're still there<em>

_Watching me, wanting me_  
><em>~Haunted, Evanescence<em>

* * *

><p>"I know, Tim, but it's been a little stressful lately."<p>

"Honey, I totally understand, and I want you to take as much time off as you need. There aren't any productions on for a while."

"But I want to come back if there are. You know how I love dancing."

"Yes, I know," Tim sighed down the phone, and I could just imagine him rolling his eyes. "I'll call you if there's any news, alright?"

"Thanks, Tim. I really appreciate it."

"Yeah, you should." He retorted before hanging up. I smiled and rolled my eyes fondly, turning my mobile off and putting it back into my bag. I didn't want to be interupted while I was viewing a potentially new home.

I had arrived a few minutes early, so I stood outside the shop, giving my reflection a quick check.

For once in my life, I actually looked like a grown woman.

My hair had been pinned back into a careful bun, curtesy of Anna, with a few artfully curled strands hanging down to frame my face. I wore a pair of sensible black trousers, a green blouse and my black suede jacket. On my feet were my new Converses.

I had to admit, I was excited about viewing the shop.

Really, I only needed a flat, but after talking to Anna and Theo, I had the brilliant idea to run a business from home.

The idea of having my own shop made a silly grin spread across my face, and I rocked back and forth on my feet as I waited impatiently for the estate agent.

I could feel eyes on me.

I reluctantly looked up, surprised to see Nellie, the little girl I met the other day, standing across the road from me. Next to her was a little boy, who must've been at least a year older than her.

I smiled and waved at her, but she didn't wave back.

They simply sat there at the edge of the road, staring at me with dark eyes and blank expressions.

I looked away quickly, slightly unnerved.

"_Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd._"

"What?"

I turned to stare at Nellie and the boy next to her. Their expressions stayed blank as they began chanting underneath their breaths, just loud enough for me to hear.

"_His skin was pale and his eye was odd. He shaved the faces of gentlemen who never thereafter were heard of again." _

I looked away again, wishing the estate agent would hurry up.

"_He trod a path that few have trod, did Sweeney Todd_."

"Miss Quinn?"

A short and round man approached me, red in the face and panting as he came to a stop just in front of me. Pulling a handkerchief out of his coat pocket, he coughed into it several times before speaking.

"Dreadfully sorry that I'm late, Miss Quinn, but the traffic was so awful I had to park my car and run here!" He told me, chuckling. "Alan Croker, it's a pleasure to meet you."

I shook his hand with a small smile, immediately liking the older man.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Croker."

"Please, Miss, Mr Croker was my _father,_" He replied, shaking his head. "No, just Alan, that's me."

"Then I must insist that you call me Niamh." I told him, my smile widening even more.

"Just like old friends, huh? Now, where did I put that damn key?"

As Alan fumbled through his pockets to find the key to the shop, I risked a glance over my shoulder.

Nellie and the boy were gone.

"_The demon barber of Fleet Street_..."

"Sorry?"

Alan looked up at me. "Sorry?" He repeated in confusion, his brow furrowed.

"Did you say something?" I asked.

"Nope."

"Oh. Don't worry, it must've been my imagination."

Alan chuckled. "Don't worry, I'm always imagining things. In fact, just this morning I thought that my daughter told us she was pregnant! Gave me a nasty shock, that did, considering she's only fourteen. Turned out she was talking about her friend's sister."

I laughed. "It must get worse as you get older, I suppose."

"Afraid it does, lass. I'm afraid it does. Aha!"

Alan held the key up triumphantly, a wide smile spreading across his chubby face.

"I knew I had with me," He announced. "Now, in we go."

The door swung open with a loud creak, sending a shiver down my spine. Alan frowned, seeing the slight discomfort on my face.

"You might want to oil the hinges." He suggested meekly, stepping into the shop. The floorboards seemed to groan as he walked in, his boots clunking against the wood loudly.

"There's a lightswitch around here somewhere," He told me. "You just gotta find it."

Seeing a lightswitch next to me, I reached out and flicked it.

Immediately, light filled the room.

"Oh," Alan paused in his searching. "You found it."

There was a brief pause as Alan cleared his throat and adjusted his tie before speaking.

"Well, this is the shop." He announced.

"So I see." I replied, looking around curiously. There was a large counter next to Alan, which looked like it was quite broken, and several booths in front of the window. There was a door at one end of the room, leading to the courtyard, and another doorway on the other end, leading to another room.

"It's a little dirty," Alan said. "And this table is broken," He demonstrated by giving the table a sharp push, making it rock back and forth slightly. "But a bit of rennovation should fix it."

"I'm sure that I can afford that." I told him, nodding.

"Obviously, that door leads to the courtyard, but we'll leave that till last. If you'd like to follow me, however."

I followed Alan through the doorway, pausing as I saw a set of stairs in between the shop and the back room, which was reasonably sized, but just as dirty and dusty as the shop.

"This is the parlour, but you can do anything with it that you like."

"Could I turn it into a kitchen?" I asked, moving to the window and pulling back the horribly frayed curtain to look outside.

"Yeah, I suppose."

I nodded. "It's a nice room, actually. Maybe with a bit of paint and a new light fixture, it could be really nice."

"I like your thinking, kid," Alan nodded approvingly. "Want to see the upstairs?"

'Yes please."

I couldn't help but wince as the stairs creaked again while Alan and I walked up them, the banister wobbling slightly as my hand slid over it.

Yet another thing to fix.

I frowned to myself. Maybe buying the shop wasn't such a good idea, considering that there were many things that would need to be fixed or changed.

"There's one master bedroom and two smaller rooms, but apart from them, there isn't anything up here, really." Alan told me casually, opening each door so I could look inside the rooms.

I nodded approvingly at each one, surprised at how much I was beginning to like the shop.

Maybe my future was here.

"So what do you think so far, Niamh? That's a real nice name, might I add."

"Thank you...Irish," I told him absent mindedly. "I think I quite like it."

"Really?"

"Yes, why?"

"It's just..." Alan fiddled with his tie again. "No one else seems to like this shop. There's rumours about it, y'know, ghost stories."

"So I heard."

"Really?"

I nodded. "I don't know the actual story, and I don't intend to find out about it any time soon."

"Not a believer in ghosts, then?"

"Definately not."

Alan looked at me for what felt like a long time, and I could only stare back at him in slight confusion.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing," He mumbled quickly, averting his eyes. "Now, how's about we go outside?"

As we walked along the corridor and down the stairs, I couldn't help but think how much I really did like this shop.

"This is the courtyard," Alan told me. "Isn't much to say about the thing, really. The benches can be replaced, and you might wanna repaint the fence, but apart from that, it's alright."

"What's that room?"

Alan followed my finger, his mouth falling open as he saw what I was pointing at.

"Oh, that's another shop. Still part of the same building, but a different room all together."

"May I still see it?"

"Yes, yes, of course."

Alan fumbled with his pockets again, trying to find another key while muttering to himself, as he walked up the steps. I was close on his heel, incredibly eager to see this mysterious room.

I had to admit, I was slightly disappointed.

It was just like the other rooms. The only thing that made it different was the large sloped window that took over one wall, overlooking the rooftops.

"What's wrong?" Alan asked, obviously worried by the sudden change in my facial expression.

"Oh, nothing, I was just..." My voice trailed off. "It wasn't what I was expecting."

"That's what most people said when they saw this room."

"I thought you said that people didn't seem to like this shop because of the rumours?"

"Yes, but sometimes you get the odd person from out of town, y'know," Alan looked at me again. "But you're not from out of town, are you?"

"No, I've lived in London for a majority of my life."

"And you never heard the story of - "

"No," I interupted. "And, as I said before, I have no intention of doing so, thank you."

"Of course not." Alan said meekly.

"So, apart from the silly stories, I actually quite like it." I announced.

Alan looked up at me, his eyes lighting up as his face split into a wide grin.

"You do?"

I nodded, smiling at him. "Yes, I think it's a really nice shop."

"Wow, well, then, would you be interested in buying it? Making it yours? Or do you need a bit more time, y'know, consult the husband?"

"I'm not married."

"Oh. No, of course you're not, you're not wearing a ring! Sorry, I'm getting a little giddy here."

I watched as Alan wiped his brow with his handkerchief, breathing in and out slowly, waiting for him to calm down. Once he had, he turned to me with a wide smile.

"So?"

I grinned.

"When can I move in?"

* * *

><p>Thank you xJill Lovett, obsessivelyfanaticgw09 and CadyD for reviewing :)<p> 


	4. Get This Party Started

_**Chapter Four  
>Get This Party Started<strong>_

_Get this party started on a Saturday night  
>~Get This Party Started, P!nk <em>

* * *

><p>I moved in almost immediately.<p>

I had collected second hand pieces of furniture from various charity shops, keeping them in storage until I could officially move into the shop. None of the pieces were perfect, but that's what I liked about them.

They weren't perfect.

I had already called builders and arranged for them to fix various things around the house and turn the parlour into a kitchen, glad that I could finally put my inheritance to a good use.

Dad would be so proud.

* * *

><p>I smiled proudly as I put a large family photo on the wall opposite my bed, framed with an elegant black frame. Mum stood in the middle of us, the twins - Ciaran and Eoghan - either side of her. Standing in front of Ciaran, who was on Mum's left, was Bronagh, holding baby Ryan in her arms. I stood on Eoghan's side, smiling widely with his arm wrapped around my shoulders.<p>

Smiling, I placed another framed photo on my bedside table. It was quite a bit smaller, but a fabulous photo anyway. It was of Anna, Theo and I standing together. Theo was sandwiched in the middle of us, his arms around our waists while the three of us grinned. It was taken on Theo's last birthday.

My smile widened as I thought back to the evening I told them about the shop.

* * *

><p>They're waiting for me.<p>

I walk towards the flat slowly, a small and disappointed frown on my face as I reach the door. Sighing sadly, I knock on the door and then cross my arms across my chest.

"Hi Niamh!"

Anna greets me cheerfully, opening the door to let me in.

"Hi." I mutter grumpily, walking into the flat. Anna stares at me.

"How did the viewing go?" She asks delicately, following me as I walk to the kitchen, placing my bag on the counter and opening the fridge.

"You're back," Theo notes, joining us. "How was it? Was it the shop of your dreams?"

I sigh, grabbing a can of fizzy and slapping the fridge door shut.

"Oh..." Theo says, realising. "Well, it doesn't matter. There will be other shops and houses and flats. We'll find you your perfect home, we promise."

"Definately." Anna agrees feverently. I sit down on one of the stools at the counter, opening the can and taking a long drink before replying.

"You don't have to."

"But we want to, Niamh," Anna says eagerly. "We know how much you want your own space, and we're going to do everything we can to make sure that you get it!"

"You don't have to," I repeat slowly. "Because I brought it."

* * *

><p>I giggled as I remembered their reactions. Tonight was a party to mark my official moving in to the shop, and everyone was coming.<p>

I grinned at my reflection, spinning around to get the best view of it.

I looked beautiful.

I wasn't being vain, but I did look really gorgeous. As in, more gorgeous than I had for years.

My usually dead straight hair was carefully curled, just reaching my shoulders and framing my face. My eyes were outlined in eyeliner, my eyelashes looking even longer with the several layers of mascara I wore. My slim frame was clad in a simple black dress with thick straps and a clinched in waist, the short skirt showing off my long legs.

Sex on legs, as Theo would say.

Grinning, I spun around once more before leaving my room, shutting the door behind me, and walking down to the shop. I had opened the side door so that people could have access to the courtyard should they need to cool down or simply want to socialise outside. The shop had already been renovated; the old counter had been removed and a brand new one sat just in front of the doorway of the soon to be kitchen and new tables sat in the centre of the two booths in front of the window.

Amazing.

Unable to contain my excitement, I arranged the music system so that it was sat on the counter, putting the music on and turning the volume up. The two tables were already dedicated to drinks.

"Niamh!"

Theo and Anna were first to arrive (of course), both looking totally amazing. Theo was dressed in a totally cool t-shirt, blazer and skinny jeans combination, his dark hair carefully brushed, and Anna looked beautiful in her floral dress, her long curls hanging loose.

"You look beautiful, babe," Theo told me, kissing my cheek and hugging me. "Give us a twirl."

I quickly obliged, enjoying the way that the skirt seemed to fly out and immediately feeling like a child again.

"I knew getting this dress would be a good idea." I told him, smoothing down the skirt.

"Your hair looks lovely curly," Anna said, gently tugging at a strand, watching as it just sprung back into place. I thanked her, my cheeks flushing with excitement and embarrasment.

"Tonight is going to be totally amazing." Theo announced, helping himself to a glass of champagne, and then pouring one for Anna and I.

"Hopefully." I muttered.

"Not hopefully, definately." Theo reprimanded. I laughed just as more people began spilling in through the door.

* * *

><p>The party was in full swing.<p>

People were dancing and drinking and socialising together, and yet, it remained totally civilised. No one shouted or started a fight. Everyone was just...having fun.

"You've done good, kid," Tim told me, sipping his champagne. I got the good stuff especially for him. "It's a nice shop."

"I know. I can't believe I got it at such a low price."

Tim nodded in agreement. "Are you going to manage working at a shop and performing at the same time?" He asked sternly. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course, Tim, I'm a woman. I can multi-task."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that she can entertain her customers by singing and dancing while serving their food," Theo said curtly. "I'm sorry to cut in, but may I have this dance, Miss Quinn?"

I laughed at his formality as he held out his hand, unable to say no.

"Of course, Mr Queen, I would be delighted to."

I shot an apologetic grin at Tim over my shoulder as Theo led me away, grabbing my other hand to begin dancing with me.

"Thank you." I whispered in his ear as he pulled me close.

"No problem." He murmured back.

Theo and Tim hated each other. Tim was quite a bit older than us, and very eccentric. If things didn't go his way in the dance studio or the theatre, then he would throw the biggest tantrum known to humanity. He was also the sort of man that believed in things such as UFO's and ghosts and whatnot. Theo, however, was down to earth and also an incredibly big drama queen.

But I preferred Theo.

As the dance song turned in a slow, smooth one, Theo grinned again.

"May I be so bold as to ask for yet another dance?" He asked. I grinned back.

"Of course."

Smiling, Theo slid his arms around my waist and held me close as my arms went around his neck. I buried my face into his chest, closing my eyes and smiling to myself while we gently swayed, barely moving.

"Would you say that this party has been a success?" Theo whispered in my ear, his breath tickling my neck. I giggled, nodding against him.

"Definately."

"I hate to say it but - "

"Theo, have I ever told you that I told you so has a brother? His name is _shut the hell up._"

Theo laughed, hugging me tighter.

"I do love you, Niamh."

"I know, I love me too."

* * *

><p>It was well after midnight when the last people (Theo and Anna, of course) had left.<p>

I walked around the shop, thanking God for the sweet bliss that was caffine, and cleaned up, disposing of the empty bottles and cans and piling up the dirty glasses to put into the dishwasher.

As I wandered around, I couldn't help but glance down the staircase.

I had discovered, when I moved in, that behind the counter was a set of doors attatched to the floor. When opening them, I found a set of stairs.

I hadn't been down them yet.

Curiousity took over me as I passed it several times in a row, each time looking down in the dark abyss it led to.

What was down there?

Sighing, I threw another can into the bin before walking down the stairs. When I reached the bottom, I was severely disappointed.

A door.

A large metal door.

Severly disappointed, I tried to open it, but the door wouldn't budge. Frowning, I pushed again. It still wouldn't budge.

The soft sound of something hitting the ground made me pause in my desperation to get the door open, and I glanced down to see an envelope on the ground. I frowned again, picking it up and sitting down on the stairs. Flipping the envelope over, I read the address.

_To whom it may concern. _

Curious, I ripped the envelope open and began to read.

* * *

><p>Yes, another quick update! Thank you xJill Lovett, Cady D and obsessivelyfanaticgw09 for reviewing!<p>

Cady D: I personally love the Ballad of Sweeney Todd XD I saw an amatuer operatics version of Sweeney Todd - it was a lot better than it sounds - and the ballad was so creepy!


	5. Here's A Letter For You

_**Chapter Five  
>Here's A Letter For You<strong>_

_Here's a letter for you  
>~Here's Your Letter, Blink 182<em>

* * *

><p>To whom it may concern,<p>

If you are reading this, I presume that you have either broken in, looking for something to steal, or considering moving in. This is my warning to you:

For God's sake, _get out as fast as you can. _

To find this letter, you've been down the staircase hidden behind the set of doors. You've reached the metal door. You've tried to open the door, but it's locked. Or so it seems. There's something in that room, something alive. It's been in there for three centuries, so I've been told. Don't fool yourself, it isn't locked. He just doesn't want you going in there. Not Sweeney Todd. The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

I'm not going to tell you who I am or how I came to discover this man, because I don't want you to find me, but I'll tell you my story.

I moved in a few years ago with my boyfriend - soon to be husband - because we wanted to start a new life for ourselves. We were going to start a family business, something that we could pass onto our children when we were old. It was a nice enough shop back then. But neither of us knew the story.

When we moved in and started up the business, people were wary to come near us, giving us a wide berth. They seemed to know something that we didn't. In the street, they'd cross over if we were walking towards them, whispering to their companions and shooting us sympathetic looks. My boyfriend and I were very confused, and also very annoyed. What right did they have to boycott our shop when all we were trying to do was make a living, just like them?

A few weeks after we had moved in, strange things started happening.

I could hear things at night.

I would lie in my bed and listen as a someone - a young boy, I presumed - would bang against the metal door, begging to be let out.

And then it would stop.

Not an hour later, a woman would start screaming, cursing at someone loudly and yelling for them to hurry up and die.

And then it would stop.

Not long after, the woman would scream again, a loud tortured scream of pain.

And then it would stop.

Things went on like this for weeks, until I had enough of it. So, one night, I left my boyfriend in bed and snuck downstairs. I was armed with a baseball bat, just in case something tried to attack me. I sat at the top of the staircase, waiting for it to begin.

The minute the little boy started yelling, I ran downstairs and tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. So I hit it as hard as I could with the baseball bat, screaming for them to shut the hell up.

I didn't hear another scream that night.

I told my boyfriend about the screams at night, and begged him to stay up with me so he could also hear them. He fell asleep just before they began, and nothing I did could wake him.

I tried again the next day, but he took it the wrong way. He took me on holiday, saying that I was under a lot of pressure because of people's stares and whispers. He thought I was getting paranoid, that I needed to relax.

So we went on holiday. We locked every single door and window and even asked one of the friendlier neighbours - again, I won't name them - to check every morning and evening that nothing was out of place or stolen. They didn't have to actually go into the shop, just peer in through the window.

When we came back, the shop was destroyed.

Something - or some_one_ - had destroyed our furniture and our possessions. Everything we owned was ruined.

So my boyfriend went to the police station and I stayed at home, waiting with my baseball bat, just in case whatever overturned our shop was to come back again. My boyfriend didn't want to leave me, but I insisted on doing so.

He was gone a very long time.

As I stood in the shop, waiting, a loud creak made me turn around, and I realised that the large metal door was open. Whatever had destroyed our shop was hiding in there, I presumed, and so went down to investigate.

I don't remember much after that. All I remember is waking up in a hospital, having apparently lost a lot of blood through a large cut on the side of my neck. If my boyfriend hadn't found me when he had, I would've died.

I made a fatal mistake in that hopsital. I told them about the odd things that happened around our shop, including the screams and the shouts. They locked me up in the mental ward, examined me thoroughly. When they finally deemed me sane, I went back to the shop with my boyfriend.

What a mistake.

I sat up at nights on end, waiting, listening. But nothing happened.

So one night, when my boyfriend had gone to celebrate a friend's birthday, I pretended to go out, slamming the door shut and 'talking' on my phone to a friend, saying how excited I was about that night. When I 'left', I slipped my shoes off and tiptoed into the doorway of the parlour, hiding in the shadows with my baseball bat. I knew that if I could kill - or at least knock out - whatever was making the noise, I could proof to my boyfriend that I wasn't insane.

I wasn't there long.

The metal door creaked open again, and I could hear the sound of shoes against the stairs. I waited until I could hear its breathing before jumping out of the doorway and hitting it as hard as I could.

It was a man.

He was very tall and thin, and incredibly pale. He landed on his front, so I had to turn him over to get a proper look at him. His hair was wild, black with one white streak going through it, and his clothes were something out of a historical drama.

In his hand was a razor.

Then my boyfriend came home.

He was horrified when he found out that I had hurt this man, shouting and swearing as he fussed over him, putting him in the recovery position and telling me to call an ambulance. Of course, I refused. We argued and then began fighting, and I hit him. I didn't mean to hit him so hard; he fell backwards and hit his head against the table, knocking him out.

I panicked and called an ambulance, begging them to hurry up. I told them how we were fighting and that I didn't mean to hurt him so badly, and the man I was talking to was very nice. He assured me that it would be ok, that people hit their heads and got knocked out all the time. He would be as fast as he could.

So, while I waited for the ambulance, I dealt with the man.

I don't know how I managed it, but I dragged him across the shop and back down the stairs, careful not to let him just roll down them. I didn't want to hurt him any more than he already was.

His grip never loosened on the razor.

When I finally got him into the odd bakehouse, I rolled him onto his back and stared down at him, tyring to think of what to do with him.

That's when he woke up.

He was pretending to be unconcious - the baseball bat barely even touched him. He looked murderous as he jumped up and lunged for me. I screamed and ran, slamming the door shut behind me, but he was so strong. He didn't stop hitting the door, and I could barely keep it still as I locked it.

But I managed in the end.

When my boyfriend was in hospital, I put the shop up for sale and found us a little flat far away from this shop. But before we moved, I wrote this letter for whoever was unfortunate enough to stumble upon it.

Get out.

Get out as fast as you can.

Don't let him know that you're here.

When he gets out, he'll want blood.

I've done my best to warn you.

It's up to you now. 

* * *

><p>Thank you xJill Lovett for reviewing - now you know what was in the letter!<p> 


	6. Will I Ever See The Sunrise?

_**Chapter Six  
>Will I Ever See Another Sunrise?<strong>_

_And you can see my heart beating  
><em>_No, You can see it through my chest  
><em>_Said I'm terrified but I'm not leaving  
><em>_Know that I must pass this test_

_So, just pull my trigger  
><em>_As my life flashes before my eyes  
><em>_I'm wondering will I ever see another sunrise?  
><em>_So many won't get the chance to say good-bye  
><em>_But its too late to think of the value of my life  
><em>_~Russian Roulette, Rihanna _

* * *

><p><em>Get out.<em>

_Get out as fast as you can._

_Don't let him know that you're here._

_When he gets out, he'll want blood. _

_I've done my best to warn you._

_It's up to you now._

I couldn't breathe.

My chest was constricting as I struggled to breathe, my body beginning to shake.

_He'll want blood._

My stomach churned and I began to feel sick as everything seemed to get dizzy.

_He'll want blood._

I had to get away.

Dropping the letter, I scrambled up the stairs on all fours like a dog, tripping and stumbling.

_He'll want blood. _

Ignoring the mess scattered around my shop, I scrambled up onto my feet and ran as fast as I could, my feet pounding against the wooden floor.

_He'll want blood. _

Panting, I continued running, skidding around the corner of the doorway and running up the stairs. I threw myself into my room, slamming the door behind me.

Letting out a small sob of horror, I ripped my dress off from over my head and threw it onto the floor, followed by my shoes and tights. I hastily wiped my eyeliner and mascara off, stratching my face. I wrenched my pyjamas on and then jumped onto my bed, curling up in a fetal position as I pulled the duvet over my head.

_He'll want blood. _

Clinging to my duvet and biting back the sobs that had risen to my throat, I fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

><p>My eyes flickered open.<p>

It was dark.

It was very dark.

I was still curled up under the duvet, but my head had emerged from it and was resting on my pillow.

And something was touching my cheek.

Still half asleep, I smiled to myself and leaned into the hand that cupped my cheek, noting how cold it was.

I then realised that something was touching my cheek.

I resisted the urge to scream and attack whatever was in my room, instead trying to remain calm and pretend that I was asleep. The hand gently brushed against my face, following the line of my cheekbone.

I remained calm, breathing slowly. I even twitched a little, as if I truly was sleeping.

The hand stopped.

I continued pretending to sleep, trying not to flinch as the hand gently brushed against my bare arm.

Somethingwas stroking my arm.

"_I've come home again..._"

And singing.

I immediately guessed what - or _who_ - was in my room, and the sudden thought almost brought on another panic attack.

Sweeney Todd.

I disguised a squeak of fear as a yawn, rolling over and turning my back on the undead thing that was in my room.

He didn't move from my bed.

I was definately freaking out; the letter never said anything about Sweeney Todd turning up in the person's bedroom and _singing. _

Was he going to kill me?

I lay completely still as he stood by my bed, not moving an inch. My heart was pounding so hard I wouldn't have been surprised that he could hear it, but he didn't come any closer. Instead, he just stood there.

I don't know how long I lay there, waiting for something to happen, but in the end, I fell back to sleep.

* * *

><p>"Theo, I am telling you that someone was in my room."<p>

Theo sighed. "Honey, are you sure that you weren't just a bit over tired?"

"No," I growled. "I was wide awake and _something was in my room._"

Theo shot me an odd look over his shoulder, his delicately arched eyebrows pulling together slightly, but didn't say anything. I scowled at his back, pulling a childish face.

"Don't pull that face at me, young lady."

I stared at his back incredulously, my mouth open but no words coming out.

"How?" I finally managed to splutter.

"Because I know you and I know that you're a complete and utter child."

Scowling, I flicked my paintbrush, spraying white paint all over him.

"Hey!"

Giggling, I ducked as Theo flicked his paintbrush back at me.

"So...what am I doing with this room again?" I asked.

"Duh," Theo said. "This is going to be your office. You can't own a business without managing it."

I gave his a blank stare. Theo sighed.

"You'll ring up the suppliers, do the accounts, stuff like that."

"But I'm shit at maths!" I whined. "Why can't someone else manage the accounts?"

"You'd let a total stranger sort your finance?" Theo pointed out. I bit my bottom lip. "I didn't think so."

I scowled and then grinned, flicking him with paint again.

"Right, that's it."

* * *

><p>After a long shower to remove the paint stains from my hair and face (the paint war between us was just...epic) and throwing my clothes into the dirty washing basket in my room, I changed into a decent pair of jeans and nice shirt.<p>

Pulling on my coat and picking up my bag, I left my room and walked through the shop, grabbing my car keys.

I was going to get an answer for what happened in my room, and if Church was the only answer, then so be it.

* * *

><p>Thank you CadyD, xJill Lovett, PurpleandBlackPandas and Shelia Chiaroscura for reviewing!<p> 


	7. Are You Even There?

_**Chapter Seven**_  
><em><strong>Are You Even There?<strong>_

_I don't know if You can hear me  
>Or if You're even there<br>~God Help The Outcasts, The Hunchback of Notre Dame soundtrack _

* * *

><p>I hadn't been to Church for years.<p>

My family had always been religious; my Mother was a devote Catholic and insisted on the family attending mass every Sunday. We also went on Holy Days, such as Easter, Palm Sundays and Christmas. A family tradition on Christmas was to go to Church as a family and, afterwards, go home to open our presents and eat dinner. It was just the way it was.

I wasn't the most idealistic Catholic; I hardly even attended Church and I did have sex before marriage. But I believed in God and I believed in my religion.

Jared never believed in any of it.

A small pang of pain hit me as I thought of Jared and the scornful look he wore when I brought up going to Church.

_It's not my religion and I don't agree with it,_ He'd say. _Go if you want to, but you're not shoving that Jesus-shit down my throat. _

He was always so open minded.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled up to the curb and cut the engine. Stuffing my car keys into my bag and pulling on my coat, I got out of the car and approached the Church.

As a child, I was always terrified of the graveyard that surrounded our Church, and the twins didn't help at all when they told me that the souls of the dead still lingered there, waiting to grab unsuspecting children and take them to Hell.

I smiled to myself; when Mum found out that they had been telling me this, she gave them a brilliant berating and grounded them for a month. Ciaran and Eoghan were always such trouble makers.

As I pushed open the old oak doors, the soft sound of the organ crept out, making my smile grow even more. The organ was at the back of the Church, and great amusment to the twins and I when Mum talked to the vicar. Of course, Father John never minded. He always encouraged us to express ourselves, even if it meant that the twins were practically killing 'When the Saints Come Marching In'.

I was delighted to see Father John sat at the organ, and even more delighted to see that he had barely changed at all. His kind face was aged and wise, and yet his smile and eyes seemed to give him an ageless effect. His thick hair was still as white as pure snow, and his tweed jacket was still thrown over one of the pews.

I hated to interupt him when he played the organ, and so simply stood in the doorway, listening with a smile.

When he finished, without looking at me, Father John spoke.

"You don't have to linger in the doorway, my child. I am not going to bite you."

I laughed, uncrossing my arms and walking forwards.

"Hello, Father."

Father John turned to smile at me warmly, standing up from his bench and walking forwards to meet me, his arms outstretched.

"Niamh. How wonderful to see you."

Father John and I embraced, and I was happy to know that the musky scent of inscence had not left him.

"What brings you here today, my child? I'm hoping that you are not here to confess."

I grinned. "No, Father, I merely came here to think."

Father John smiled as he put a hand on my shoulder, and the two of us began walking down the aisle.

"You are well, then?"

"Yes, Father, I am. How are you and your wife?" Father John's wife, Petunia, always attended the service and, afterwards, would take the twins and I outside to sit in the sun and eat her homemade cakes.

Of course, this was a long time before Bronagh and Ryan were born. By the time they were, we were too old to mess around on the organ and eat cakes with Petunia.

"Oh, we're doing just fine. Petunia has discovered her love for chocolate cakes, however, so I am putting on a bit of weight." Father John laughed as he patted his stomach. I smiled.

"Ciaran, Eoghan and I used to love her chocolate cakes, but she'd only bring them in the winter because they'd melt and make a horrible mess in the summer."

Father John chuckled at the memory. "Yes, I remember that like it was yesterday."

There was a brief pause in which I took the opportunity to admire the Church's beauty. As a child, I never really paid much attention, and instead tried not to giggle while the twins made silly noises and messed around.

"I have not seen you for a fair few years, my child," Father John said, breaking the silence. "And yet, I see no ring."

My eyes flickered down to my hand, and I sighed as I remembered how, just a few weeks ago, there was a ring on there.

"I was engaged," I admitted. "To a man that I loved very much."

"Loved?"

Father John and I sat down on the pew at the front together, and I nodded sadly.

"Yes, loved."

"May as I ask as to why you use the past tense?" Father John asked delicately.

"I'm afraid to admit that my husband-to-be was not the ideal husband, Father."

Father John's thick brows pulled together in confusion, so I carefully pulled the collar of my shirt down to reveal a fading bruise on my collarbone. His mouth fell open, but he was unable to speak.

"Father, I know that it wasn't very Catholic of me, but my lover and I were going to have a baby."

"And you were not married?" He asked, disapproval colouring his stern voice.

"Sadly, yes. Jared wasn't religious, nor was he a very patient man."

"My child, did this man ever force himself upon you?"

"No, no!" I sighed. "If I am completely honest, and I'm afraid this may offend you, Father, I thought _stuff religion, I'm going to have a good time._"

"I'm afraid that it does offend me a little to hear that you went against the Church, my child, but God is very forgiving if you ask for it." A small smile crept onto Father John's lips, and I smiled back.

"Yes, that's one of the reasons that I am here," I admitted. "But I would also like to pray for someone."

"Whom, my child?"

I looked Father John straight in the eye, knowing that I could trust this man with my life, should the situation occur.

"My child," I told him. "My dead child."

Father John's eyes filled with sadness as he reached out and placed a sympathetic hand on mine, gently squeezing it.

"I am very sorry to hear that, my child, but I can assure you that your child is in the safe hands of our Lord."

"You think so?" I asked, wiping the tears that had sprung to my eyes away.

"I know so. Now, shall I leave you alone to speak with Him?"

"Yes please, Father."

"Very well. I will be in the office should you need me, and, when you're done, there's a tin of biscuits I simply must finish before they go stale and I don't think I can do it on my own."

I giggled. "That would be lovely, Father."

Father John smiled and winked. "Who knows, I might even throw in a cup of tea."

When Father John left me, I got up from the pew and knelt down in front of the statue of Jesus, pulling my cross necklace off and holding it in my hands as I put them together.

"Dear God," I began, bowing my head. "Like I said to Father John, I'm asking for forgiveness. I have strayed from the path and given in to temptations. But I'm changing now...I'm going to turn over a new leaf. You may not believe me, and I don't blame you. I've made some really bad decisions. But I want to ask a favour of you...I'd like you to look after my child. Please. I don't know who they are, but I know that if you were to look after him or her, I'd really appreciate it. Amen."

* * *

><p>"You look troubled, my child."<p>

I looked up from my cup, mildly surprised.

"Pardon?"

Father John smiled kindly. "You look troubled."

"I feel troubled," I admitted. "It's about my new home, actually."

"Oh?"

I chewed my bottom lip before putting my cup down and clasping my hands on my lap, staring at the floor.

"Father, do you believe in ghosts?"

Father John frowned as he also put his cup down and leaned back in his seat, looking at me with a skeptical expression.

"Ghosts, Niamh?"

This was the first time since I had arrived that Father John had adressed me by my name; I could immediately tell that something was wrong.

"Yes, ghosts. The souls of the departed that still walk the earth and - "

"I know what ghosts are, Niamh," Father John interupted sharply. I flinched at the stern tone of his voice. "Why do you ask?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I pulled the scrunched up piece of paper from my jeans pocket and handed it to him. Father John raised his eyebrow at me before taking it, unfolding it and reading it. He was silent for a long time, reading the letter over and over again. I watched him anxiously, still biting my bottom lip.

"Don't chew your lip, Niamh, it is a horrible habit."

"Sorry, Father."

Father John didn't reply. Instead, he simply folded the letter up and threw it on the table next to us. I snatched it up, unfolding it and folding it again, smoothing it down.

"I'm surprised at you, Niamh," Father John said. "Believing a silly letter that was obviously written to scare whoever read it. In your case, it has obviously worked."

I scowled, my cheeks burning. "Look, why would anyone make this sort of thing up? It just doesn't make any sense!"

Father John raised a thick eyebrow at me, sighing.

"You're just like your Father, believing in the supernatural."

That made me loose my temper.

I stood up so abruptly that the chair I was sat on fell to the ground, and I pointed my finger straight at Father John, a large scowl on my face.

"Don't you _dare_ badmouth my Father," I hissed. "Don't you _dare_!"

"Niamh - "

"NO!" I yelled. "You NEVER liked him! You HATED his guts!"

"Niamh, let me - "

"Don't bother," I snapped. "You've already made your point clear."

Snatching up my bag and jacket, I stormed out of the office and through the Church. Once outside, I unlocked my car and slid in, starting up the engine.

The one place that I thought was my sanctuary had turned into a Hell.

* * *

><p>Thank you CadyD for reviewing - hopefully this chapter has explained a little as to why she believes the letter; her Dad was a very superstitious man and, as the story goes on, the bond between Niamh and her Dad will be explained.<p>

Also, Sweeney Todd will be making an appearance soon!


	8. Monsters Calling My Name

_**Chapter Eight  
>Monsters Calling My Name<strong>_

_I linger in the doorway  
>Of alarm clock screaming<br>Monsters calling my name  
>~Imaginary, Evanescence<em>

* * *

><p>My bedroom door was locked.<p>

I asked the builders to put a lock on the door as well as build the kitchen, which looked amazing. I wasn't going to risk something getting into my room again.

With the door locked, my window firmly shut and my curtains drawn, I stripped down from my clothes, pausing to look at my reflection. The bruises were fading, leaving my pale skin almost bare. I smiled, turning around. The bruises on my back were also fading.

Maybe things were going to get better.

Turning away from my reflection, I pulled on my pyjamas and pulled my hair back into a ponytail before climbing into my bed.

_Niamh..._

I froze, my eyes darting around my room.

"H-Hello?"

But my room was empty. The lights were on and I could see every inch of it perfectly.

I was alone.

I frowned, blaming my over-active imagination. I got that from Dad. He was constantly hearing or seeing things that weren't really there. They were the sort of things that inspired him to write.

_As an author,_ he'd say to me, _you have to keep an open mind and an over-active imagination, otherwise the books would be boring. _

I smiled to myself as I thought of Dad. He wanted to be a writer so badly, and was in the process of writing a book before he died. It was the one thing that only I knew about. Mum was always too busy, looking after all of us, the twins were more interested in causing trouble at school, Bronagh was Mummy's girl and Ryan was born just before Dad's death.

It was our secret.

I was six and the twins were eight when he started, years before Bronagh and Ryan came along. Apparently, Dad had been inspired by the games we played as children together. His book was one of a magic world, filled with faires and princesses and pirates and dragons.

The main characters were a pair of twin boys and their little sister.

I smiled again, lying down and curling up underneath my duvet, my eyes feeling heavy.

"Night..." I murmured to no one in particular, turning off my bedside lamp.

* * *

><p><em>Niamh...<em>

My eyes flickered open.

_Niamh..._

I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes and blinking several times.

_Niamh..._

"Y-yes?" I asked wearily, reaching forwards to turn my bedside lamp.

It didn't turn on.

I played with the switch several times, but the lamp didn't turn on. Frowning, I swung my legs over the side of my bed and jumped up, crossing the room in a few quick strides. Once I reached it, I tried the light switch.

The light wouldn't turn on.

I chewed my bottom lip, looking around anxiously. There had to be a perfectly acceptable reason for this.

_Niamh..._

I froze at the sound of a voice, my heart pounding against my chest at a rapid speed. I wasn't imagining it. Something was calling my name.

Not bothering to grab a torch or a jumper, I hesitantly opened my bedroom door, wincing as it emitted a loud creak that disturbed the eerie silence throughout the shop. My heart picking up pace, I stepped out, relieved as the floor beneath my foot didn't make a sound.

I took another step out, and then another. Soon, I was travelling down the corridor in an odd dreamlike state. My heart didn't stop pounding, but I was strangely calm, merely floating down the corridor.

Towards the voice.

I reached the staircase, a voice in my head screaming _GO BACK! GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM AND CALL SOMEONE! _

But I ignored it.

My hand placed on the banister, I glided down the stairs, none of the stairs making a noise until I hit the bottom one, but even then my trance wasn't broken.

I could hear singing.

"_Lucy, I've come home again..._"

Whoever was singing had a magical voice, low and alluring, yet velvelty and soft.

Beautiful.

"_Lucy, oh my God..._"

I wandered through the shop until I got to the stairs descending to the bakehouse, where I paused for a brief moment.

"_Now come here, my love. Nothing left to fear my love_..."

Nothing to fear.

Without really thinking, I took a step forwards and placed my foot on the first step.

Suddenly, a woman screamed.

The piercing scream of obvious pain broke my trance. I froze, looking around in confusion.

Someone was screaming.

Letting out a squeak, I scrambled backwards, letting out a yelp as I fell over onto my bottom. I crawled backwards desperately, clawing at the ground in determination to get away from the bakehouse.

Someone was _screaming. _

I ended up under one of the tables, clinging to the leg as I curled up, closing my eyes and burying my face into my knees, waiting for the screaming to stop.

"Stop..." I whispered desperately. "Please stop screaming."

The screaming didn't stop.

I didn't uncurl or raise my head once. I could barely move.

I wanted to be at home.

I didn't want to be in this shop where things came into my room and women screamed at night. I wanted to be at home.

I wanted to be in the kitchen with Mum, chatting as she made dinner, rapping my knuckles with her wooden spoon when I stole an ingredient.

I wanted to be in the living room with the twins, playing C.O.D and swearing as one of us got blown up.

I wanted to be in my room with Bronagh, listening to music as we flicked through fashion magazines and painted each other's nails.

I wanted to be in the nursery, cradling Ryan in my arms and singing him to sleep.

I wanted to go home.

A sob of fear and tiredness rose to my throat as tears sprung to my eyes. My body shook as I sobbed quietly, still clinging to the table leg.

Why was I here?

The screaming suddenly stopped.

I reluctantly looked up, uncurling with stiff limbs.

What was going on?

I crawled out from underneath the table, slowly standing up to walk to the top of the staircase.

Silence.

Total silence.

I should've turned back. I should've turned around and ran up to my room as fast as I could. But something compelled me to walk forwards, to go down the stairs. I had to find out what was going on, and facing my fears was going to be the only way to do it.

Swallowing, I took a step forwards and placed my foot on the top step.

Nothing happened.

I took another step, and then another. Yet, nothing happened.

Slowly growing confident, I continued walking down the stairs until I reached the bottom, the floor cold against my bare feet. But I barely noticed.

The door was open.

My heart missed a beat as I stared at the narrow line of light that escaped from the slightly opened door, my mouth open.

Why was it open?

Before I could stop myself, I reached out with a shaking hand and pulled the door open with as much strength as I could muster, wincing as it let out a loud creak.

What was I doing?

"_There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful..._"

I froze.

"_A foolish barber and his wife, she was his reason and his life..."_

I pushed the door further and stepped into the bakehouse, stifling back a scream.

There was a man in the bakehouse.

He didn't acknowledge me as I stared at him, and instead cradled a dead woman in his arms, allowing me to study him.

He was quite tall, despite being knelt down, with wild black hair that tangled into mad curls, one white streak going through it. His clothes were quite old fashioned, but what alarmed me the most was that he was covered in blood.

Blood stains were splattered everywhere on him in seemingly random patterns, staining his clothing, hair and his face. He didn't seem to bothered, however, as he continued singing to the woman in his arms.

"_And she was beautiful, and she was virtuous, and he was..."_

Behind the man, a little boy was approaching him with a murderous look on his face, holding a silver razor in his hand.

"NO!" I screamed, running forwards, but it was too late.

The little boy slit his throat.

* * *

><p>Yes, another quick update - I've been writing this fic every time I have some spare time! Hopefully the second Sweeney encounter was satisfactory, and I can promise that he will be joining the story properly fairly soon!<p>

Thank you Shelia Chiaroscura, Spanish Sunrise and CadyD for your lovely reviews :D


	9. This Night Walk The Dead

_**Chapter Nine  
><strong>__**This Night Walk The Dead**_

_This night, walk the dead  
>~Cemetery Drive, My Chemical Romance<em>

* * *

><p><em>Little shop, little shoppa horrors. Little shop, little shoppa terror. Call a cop. Little shoppa horrors. No, oh, oh, no-oh!<em>

I groaned, rolling onto my side and turning my back on my God-damn mobile.

_LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOPPA HORRORS. LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOPPA TERROR. CALL A COP. LITTLE SHOPPA HORRORS. NO, OH, OH, NO-OH!_

Groaning again, I pulled my duvet over my pounding head. If I ignored it, it would eventually go away.

_Hey, this is Niamh, but obviously you know this, otherwise you wouldn't be ringing me. Anyway, I either can't get to the phone right now or I'm ignoring you, but either way, leave me a message and I'll get back to you as fast as I can! Bye!_

There was a loud beep, quickly followed by Tim's annoyed voice.

_Niamh Olivia Quinn, get that lazy butt out of bed and down the studio! We have a new show and, being the most amazing director of all time that you owe a drink for this, I have secured you a brilliant part. So get down here A.S.A.P before I give it to someone else. _

Letting out another groan, I reluctantly unearthed myself from my duvet cocoon and sat up, running a hand through my wildly tangled hair.

Jeez, I felt like crap.

Half asleep, I wandered out of my room and to the bathroom, where I washed my face with my flannel and tried to flatten down my hair with a wet hairbrush.

Forget feeling like crap, I _looked _like crap.

My hair was lank and tangled, tufts sticking up in random places. I had a large red mark on my cheek where my head was resting on my hand and large bags were underneath my eyes, which were both bloodshot.

Great.

Sighing, I brushed my teeth and left the bathroom, going back to my room. Still barely awake, I threw my pyjamas on the ground and grabbed my underwear, pulling it on quickly before opening my wardrobe and searching through it. I lost interest in my outfit the minute I picked up a pair of jeans.

Washed and dressed, I tried (and failed) to untangle my hair, and so simply tied it back into a messy bun.

I still looked like crap.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled on my Converses, grabbed my coat and my bag and then ran downstairs.

It was a short drive to the studio, but long enough that I had a chance to properly wake up. By the time I cut the engine in the studio car park, I was relatively alert and dying for a coffee.

I could hear people singing already as I crossed the car park, smiling to myself. Tim seemed to be hollering at the top of his voice over them, but no one paid him any attention, continuing to sing.

I snuck into the studio through the front entrance, hoping to slide past everyone and make myself a coffee before Tim spotted me. Unfortunately, he spotted me immediately.

"Niamh, get your butt here now!" He yelled.

"One minute." I yelled back, throwing my bag and coat onto a nearby chair and crossing the studio to the kitchen. I had to have a coffee, whether it was the last thing I did. Annoyingly, Tim decided to follow me.

"What are you doing now?" He whined in exasperation. I turned and glared at him, making him take a quick step back. "Jesus, Niamh, what were you doing last night? You look like shit!"

"Thanks Tim." I muttered through gritted teeth, turning the kettle on and searching for a large mug.

"I'm only telling the truth," He replied. "But, seriously, what were you doing? Having a midnight rave?"

I slammed my mug onto the counter. "No, Tim, I just had a really shit night last night and I would really appreciate it if you shut up and let me drink my coffee."

"Fine, but hurry up."

I made a face at Tim as he turned around and walked back into the studio, shouting at people, and then turned back to the kettle.

I sent a silent thank you to God for being so awesome as to invent the brilliance that was caffine.

Once I finished my coffee and felt ready to face everyone, I sidled out of the kitchen and joined the large group that were sat on chairs in front of Tim, who was pacing back and forth.

"Alright, as you all know, over the next couple of months, we are going to be rehearsing for the next production."

"What is the production?" Someone asked. Tim glared at them.

"I am getting to that!" He snapped back. "I have already prepared the cast list, so don't come bitching to me if you don't like your part. Either lump it or leave. Your choice. Now, the production in question isn't one we've ever done before, but something I'm sure you will all like. Ladies and gentlemen, our production is going to be," Tim paused dramatically. "_Little Shop of Horrors_!"

Immediately, everyone cheered in delight, bursting into conversation with whoever was near them. I didn't, however, but I couldn't help but feel very excited.

"I suppose you all want to hear the cast list, then," Tim said over the noise, quickly captivating everyone as they listened, eager to discover their role. It was like being at secondary school all over again. "The three Ronettes will be played by Kat, Becky and Violet."

The three women in question stood up and joined Tim at the front while the rest of us clapped, a few of the men cheering. I also clapped, smiling at Tim's choice. Kat, Becky and Violet already had amazing chemistry and even better dance skills. They'd be perfect as the Ronettes.

"The voice of Audrey two," Tim continued, looking down at his notebook. "Will be Eddie."

The whole room exploded as Eddie, a black boy with a Jamaican background, jumped up and bowed, strutting to the front and wrapping his arms around Kat and Becky, a wide grin spread across his face.

"Mr Mushnik will be played by Joshua."

I smiled again; Joshua would be perfect. He was shorter than the other men in the group, slightly chubby and yet sensible and fatherly.

"Orin the dentist will be played by George."

Everyone laughed, clapping. George was tall, broad shouldered and generally quite scary looking, but a big softie really. But there was no denying that he would be amazing as the sadistic dentist.

"And for the final two parts," Tim announced. "Seymour and Audrey. Of course, I had to take my time choosing who would play these two, but I believe that I have made the perfect choice. Seymour will be played by..."

Tim paused again as everyone waited with baited breath, desperate to find out.

"David."

The whole room exploded, applauding David even louder than they had applauded Eddie and George. David was the most popular man of the group, incredibly handsome and had an amazing singing voice.

"So that just leaves Audrey," Tim said. Every girl in the room, including me, was on the edge of their seat, waiting. To play Audrey would be amazing, the main woman, the love interest of Seymour.

A chance to kiss David.

"The part of Audrey will be played by..."

Tim paused again. Jeez, his pauses were definately getting on my nerves.

"Niamh."

* * *

><p>It wasn't until late that night that I got back from the studio, but I didn't care.<p>

Humming to myself, I unlocked the front door of the shop and walked in, singing to myself as I danced around like a fool, high on happiness.

I was going to be Audrey!

I let out an excited squeal as I spun around again, biting my bottom lip as a large grin spread across my face, the six words etching themselves into my mind.

_I was going to be Audrey! _

Somehow, my crappy mood has disappeared the minute that I heard the news.

Niamh Quinn, the star of the show.

I had been the main part before, whether it be a musical or a dance, but every time, I still got that buzz. That feeling of pure excitement seared through my body as I imagined the final performance...standing in front the audience...David's hand in mine...

A loud creak broke my daydream.

Panicking slightly, I jumped up from the chair that I was sat on and spun around wildly.

I knew what that was.

Pure fear attacked my body, taking over me as I walked towards the top of the staircase.

The metal door was open.

The singing started.

"_There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful..." _

Once again, I knew that I should've turned around and ran as fast as I could, but I couldn't.

I had to go downstairs.

Before the little boy got him.

"_A foolish barber and his wife, she was his reason and his life..."_

The thought of the little boy getting to him made my body lurch down the stairs and into the bakehouse.

I had to get to him first.

I could see the little boy climbing out from the sewer - yuck - and pick up the razor.

"_And she was beautiful, and she was virtuous, and he was..._"

"NO!" I screamed as the little boy reached him, running faster than I ever had done before.

The little boy and I collided.

A yell of pain escaped my mouth as we tumbled to the floor, my hand gripping the razor with as much strength as I could manage. I barely noticed the razor slicing my palm open as I hit the stone.

I did it.

I saved him!

I laughed triumphantly, sitting up, but I cut myself off quickly.

The little boy was gone.

He had just disappeared. Completely disappeared.

Standing up shakily, blood tricking down my hand, I looked around, but there was absolutely no sign of the little boy with the razor.

I turned around and saw the strange man was still knelt down, his head bent, but his arms empty.

"Lucy..." He whispered in a broken voice, his arms dropping to the ground. "LUCY!"

I stared at him in horror as he just seemed to collapse to the ground, begging for this Lucy woman to come back, insisting that he still loved her, that he didn't mean to hurt her.

"Erm...sir?" I took a reluctant step forwards. "Sir, are you alright?"

He didn't move or respond in any way. I took another step forwards and then another until I was standing right next to his crumpled form. Sympathy rushing through me, I knelt down and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Sir?" I tried again, but he didn't move.

Sighing, I gently shook him.

"Sir, I'm going to take you upstairs and you can clean up, alright?" I told him, only then realising that my hand was bleeding and I had added to the large amount of stains on his clothing. "Come on."

With as much strength as I could muster, I put my hands under his arms and pulled him up, groaning at how heavy he was. He didn't make it easy either, standing as stiff as a board. Rolling my eyes, I threw one of his arms around my shoulders and put mine around his waist so that we were supporting each other.

"Come on." I repeated gently, pulling him along.

What else could I do?

* * *

><p>I suppose that you're all wondering why there is nolittle mention of what happened in the last chapter. Let me explain:

The mind does this amazing thing - whether you have experienced it or not - where it blocks out unwanted memories. Completely blocks them. It's as if they never existed. I've done it before, and I know people that have done it. This is exactly what Niamh has done overnight. She chose to block the memory and act as if it hasn't happened.

Niamh being in Little Shop of Horrors? Seems irrelivant now, but will be a major part of the story later on.

Thank you Shelia Chiaroscura, obsessivelyfanaticgw09, CadyD, ShellyMay and Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle for your lovely reviews! I just hope that examiners like my poetry essay I have to do tomorrow as much as you like this story!


	10. Oh, You Look So Tired

_**Chapter Ten  
>Oh, You Look So Tired<strong>_

_Oh, you look so tired  
>Your mouth is slack and wide<br>You're ill-housed and you're,  
>You're ill-advised<br>I bet your face is as mean  
>As your life has been<em>

_And oh, you look so tired_  
><em>Well but tonight you presume too much<em>  
><em>~Jack the Ripper, Morrissey<em>

* * *

><p>We finally reached the top of the stairs, and by the time that we did, I felt like collapsing. But I tried to remain strong, holding the strange man up as I steered him towards a chair.<p>

"Sit down." I ordered, untangling my arms from his as I pushed him down into the chair. He obliged silently.

A stab of pain reminded me once more of my bleeding palm, the whole of which was stained a dark red. Drips of blood had rolled down my wrist and snaked its way around my fingers as well.

Making a face, I checked that the man wasn't going to do anything stupid before talking again.

"I'm going to wash the blood off my hand," I told him. "I'll be back down with something you can change into."

The man didn't respond, and instead sat there silently, staring into space.

"Ok..."

Frowning, and more than a little bit freaked out, I turned around and practically ran up the stairs, careful to keep my hand outstretched in front of me.

Ew.

When I finally reached the bathroom, I washed the blood off my hand and ended up with a nasty gash on my palm. I screwed up my nose and, after a few minutes of hunting for it, managed to wrap my hand up in a bandage.

With that done and my hand stinging, I wandered to my bedroom, wondering if I did, in fact, have something for the strange man downstairs to change into. I didn't tend to wear men's clothing.

I had a moment of triumph when I remembered that I did actually have one shirt that was a men's one that the strange man downstairs could borrow. It was fairly simple, plain black cotton with short sleeves.

As well as the shirt, I also took down a bottle of vodka - for the shock, of course - and a large bowl of warm water with a flannel.

The man hadn't moved at all when I got back downstairs. I frowned slightly as I placed the shirt and vodka on the table, keeping hold of the bowl and flannel.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I asked.

At first, I thought that he wasn't going to respond or react, but after a moment, he shook his head with one jerky action.

"Ok, just tell me if you change your mind."

Soaking the flannel and then squeezing it, I pulled a chair up and sat opposite him, placing the bowl on the table.

"I'm just going to wash the blood off your face." I told him gently.

He sat silently and still, barely moving as I scrubbed the blood off his face, revealing more and more of his pale skin as I did so. I had to admit, I was slightly jealous; his skin was practically flawless.

But then I began to notice the little things, tiny imperfections.

His eyes were very red, as if he had been crying or rubbing them. There were large, dark circles underneath his deep brown eyes. His lips were trembling slightly as my hands moved his face this way and that.

He was tired.

"I can try and get the blood out of your hair if you like, but we'll probably have to do it tomorrow over the bath."

He didn't respond.

My brow furrowing, I sat back in my seat and gazed at him, tilting my head to the side slightly.

Despite the little flaws, he was actually quite beautiful.

With him remaining still and silent, I could truly appreciate his beauty. His skin was chalk white, his features sharp and defined. His eyes were a deep brown that looked almost black, but contained a troubled soul...

His eyes snapping up to meet mine broke my poetic daydream.

We sat for a moment, staring into each other's eyes. I was unable to look away; his gaze was hypnotising.

"Who are you?" He asked suddenly, his voice barely above a broken whisper.

"Niamh," I told him. "My name is Niamh. I live here."

He continued staring at me, but I could see his lips move as he repeated my name silently.

"What's your name?" I dared ask.

Again, I thought that he wasn't going to reply. He sat for a moment, his eyes drifting from mine as he stared into space once more.

"Todd," He finally repeated in a gruff voice. "Sweeney Todd."

* * *

><p>My eyes snapped open.<p>

For a moment, just a moment, I felt strangely content, no memory of last night plaguing my mind. I didn't even remember the pain and trouble that Jared had caused.

Instead, I half expected him to be lying next to me, smiling down at me as he waited for me to wake up. Or maybe he would still be sleeping, but would wake up the moment I kissed his cheek.

Rolling over and stretching out my arms for him, I was confused when my fingertips only hit cold wall.

My eyes flickering open, memories flooded back to me, tears springing to my eyes. Wiping them away quickly, I sat up and wondered if last night was merely a dream.

Seeing the bandage wrapped around my hand, I concluded that it wasn't.

Trying really hard not to freak out, I sat up and simply sat for a moment.

Sweeney Todd.

I never did discover who he actually was.

And now he was here, in my shop.

My home.

I bit down on my bottom lip, trying not to freak out again, and got up from my bed, deciding that I was going to get dressed before seeking out Sweeney and trying to get an explanation out of him.

Dressed in a normal pair of denim jeans and a modest top, not wanting to freak him out, I tied my hair back and then pulled on my Converses. It was a chilly morning, so I added my oversized _Batman _hoodie. It was so big on me that it nearly reached my knees.

I took a minute to stand and take in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. When I was finally convinced that I was going to have a major spaz-freak out or a panic attack, which was never good, I left my room and began my search.

He wasn't in the kitchen (the upstairs one, anyway), and the bathroom door wasn't locked (I checked). The living room was empty and, as I walked downstairs, he wasn't there either.

Where was he?

Frowning, I opened the side door and stepped outside, even though I could clearly see that the courtyard was empty. I was very confused, though.

I slowly turned to the wooden stairs, craning my neck to look at the door at the end of the balcony.

Without a second thought, I ran.

The door made a terrific bang when I wrenched it open, but neither Sweeney or I really noticed.

I found him, at least.

Standing in the doorway, barely out of breath - years of exercise had blessed me with brilliant stamina - I could clearly see Sweeney stood in the middle of the room, his back turned to me. I could also see his reflection in the window, and he did not look happy.

"What's happened?" He whispered.

I looked around my office, taking in everything. I had a large desk in the corner, a laptop resting in the middle and small shelves above it to hold folders and a chair with wheels in front of it because I was a big kid and wanted to be able to spin around. Opposite the window was another set of shelves and on the wall by the window was a photo of Dad and I.

"This is my office," I told him. "You shouldn't actually be in here."

That got a reaction out of him.

With quick and sharp movements, I found myself pinned to the wall, Sweeney gripping my wrists in a bone crushing grip.

He looked murderous.

I stared up at him with a fearful expression, my heart rate increasing, as he glared down at me, breathing heavily.

"_This _is my shop," He hissed, venom dripping off his words. "I can go wherever I please."

I opened my mouth to speak, but a panic attack was kicking in, leaving me with a dry throat and emmitting odd noises.

"You're hurting me!" I finally managed to cry, tears of fear and pain springing to my eyes.

Sweeney's expression changed slightly, as if he only just realised what he was doing. Letting go of me as if I had some horrible disease, he backed away and stared at me with a horrified expression.

Stifling back the sobs, I held my shaking arms in front of me to check my wrists. Both were dark red from where he had been gripping them.

"What the hell?" I gasped, swallowing rapidly in hope to moisten my dry throat. "Seriously, what the hell?"

"Get out." Sweeney muttered, turning his back on me. I glared at him, knowing that he could see my reflection in the glass.

"I don't think so," I snapped. "What the hell was all that about? Dude, I frickin' _helped _you and you pay me back by slamming me into a wall and trying to break my wrists!"

My confidence (and anger) growing, I stepped forwards. "I don't care what kind of shit you've been through, don't take it out on someone who is trying to help!"

"GET OUT!" He roared, spinning around. We seemed to square up against each other, but fuming and both glaring at each other, neither of us willing to back down.

"Look, this is my shop and my home," I hissed, leaning forwards. "If you don't like it, _you _get out."

Without another word, I spun around and left the office, slamming the door behind me.

Once I reached the shop, I sunk into a chair and rested my head on the table, tears trickling down my cheeks. One question seemed to roll around in my mind.

What the hell?

* * *

><p>So, yes, their first conversation wasn't exactly the best. Obviously Sweeney is a bit disoriented by the whole change and Niamh is just...she has a hot temper, shall we say.<p>

Thank you Shelia Chiaroscura, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, CadyD and Samuel Fox for your reviews!


	11. It's Ok To Be Afraid

_**Chapter Eleven  
>It's Ok To Be Afraid<strong>_

_Everybody hurts some day  
>It's OK to be afraid<br>Everybody hurts, everybody screams  
>Everybody feels this way and that's ok<br>~Everybody Hurts, Avril Lavigne_

* * *

><p>I was pissed.<p>

Hell, I was frickin' fuming!

How dare that..._man _make me feel so _crappy _when I didn't even know him? He had no right to make me feel this way!

"Bastard," I muttered underneath my breath. If Anna or Theo were with me, they would've gasped and then applauded me for actually cussing. I hardly ever swore, unless I was actually very angry, and then all hell broke loose.

Jeez.

I felt like crap.

In my mind, I had two options. The first was that I could lock myself in my room for a bit and play loud music, probably _System of a Down. _The second option was exactly the same, but with a bottle of wine.

I groaned; the second option seemed so tempting...

No. I couldn't get drunk, not with a strange and angry man in my shop.

Or could I?

I scowled to myself, wiping the tears off my cheeks stubbornly. If I wanted to drunk, to hell with the consequences! It was my home, I could do what I wanted.

My mind firmly made up, I got up and stormed upstairs, heading for my kitchen. Unfortunately, I didn't have any wine. All I had left in my fridge were a couple of cans of beer.

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed one and stormed to the living room, deciding to watch TV instead of listening to angry music. My mobile was on the coffee table, where I had left it last night by accident, and I saw that I had several missed calls from Theo.

Opening my beer and taking a long swig from it, I typed out Theo's number and rung him.

"Why didn't you answer my calls?" Was the first thing he said to me.

"Hi, Theo, how are you? Oh, I'm fine, thank you." I snapped back sarcastically.

"Yeah, whatever. Listen, have you rung the suppliers yet?"

"The suppliers?"

"Yes Niamh. Remember how we had a talk about the nice men that will deliver food and drink to your shop so that you can open up?"

"Theo, shut the fuck up with your god damn sarcasm because I am not in the mood."

"Wow, you must be in a bad mood if you're swearing."

"Theo."

"Right, right, whatever. Anyway, I gave you the number last week when we were painting. You put it on your desk?"

I groaned, suddenly remembering.

"I haven't rung them yet."

"Why not?"

"I've been busy! I do have a life outside work, you know."

"What, dancing around a stage in pretty costumes?"

"You're just jealous."

"Of course I am. So hurry the fuck up and ring those suppliers before I kick you." Theo ordered before hanging up. I rolled my eyes, realising how much I loved and hated my gay best friend so much.

I then groaned.

The number was in the office.

He was in the office.

Brushing a few strands of hair out of my face, I got up from the sofa, putting my mobile into my pocket. Still holding my beer, I reluctantly trudged back to the office.

Of course, he was still there.

I paid him no attention as I walked in, crossing the room to sit at the desk, and he did the same. The tension was thick, but I brushed it off as I rung the suppliers.

I swung the chair back and forth, occasionally spinning around in a circle while I talked to a nice man called Bob, who happily recomended the best kind of products to order and gave me the best prices. He was a very friendly man, but even that couldn't distract me from the fact that Sweeney was staring at me.

"That would be brilliant, thanks, Bob."

"Nah, that's alright. Always a pleasure to help those that are new to the business."

I laughed. "And I'm going to need all the help that I can get if I can make this work! Bye."

"Bye."

I smiled and hung up, picking up my notebook and laughing at my scribbled notes. I never did have the neatest of handwriting.

But my laughter died down as I spun the chair around and saw that Sweeney was still looking at me. Leaning back in my chair, I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

He didn't answer, and instead continued looking at me with an unreadable expression. I rolled my eyes, turning my back on him and having a sip of beer.

"Why are you here?"

I leaned back in my chair as I spun around slowly like I was in a Bond film. I almost wished that I had a white cat on my lap.

"Pardon?"

I might have been pissed, but my Mother always brought me up to be polite.

Sweeney simply looked at me, obviously refusing to repeat the question. I raised an eyebrow.

"I'm here because this is my home," I told him. "_My home._"

"You chose _this_ to be your home?" He sneered in a very annoying and arrogant manner. Instead of showing my anger, I sneered back.

"Yes, I did."

The two of us looked at each other with contemptuous expressions, neither of us impressed with the other. But I could feel my sneer disappearing slightly; his dark eyes were hypnotisingly beautiful...

Refusing to allow myself to loose this silent battle, I sneered again and then turned my back on him.

"You can apologise anytime you like, by the way."

"Apologise?"

I spun the chair around once more (how many times I was going to go back and forth, I did not know) and stood up.

"Yes, apologise. It means you say you're sorry."

"I _know _what apologising is," Sweeney snapped. "I just don't see what there is to apologise about."

"Uh, hello? Have you seen my wrists?" To help him, I held up my arms, showing my still red-wrists. "You're lucky that I'm not pressing charges, attacking me on my own property!"

Sweeney's brow furrowed, his eyebrows pulling together as he frowned down at me.

"What?"

He didn't answer, but continued looking at me with a confused expression. Realisation dawned on me, and I had to sit back down on my chair.

"You're really not from this time, are you?" I asked quietly.

Sweeney paused for a moment before shaking his head, a sharp and jerky movement. My mouth fell open.

"Oh my God," I whispered. "Oh my _God_!"

I buried my face in my hands, shaking my head desperately.

"What have I done?" I groaned to myself.

"What - "

"I have done something incredibly stupid," I told him, jumping up from my seat and pacing back and forth, wringing my hands. "This has to be the most stupid thing that I have ever done my entire life, and that includes improvising in the middle of a school musical after I forgot the lines _which, _by the way, went incredibly wrong!"

Sweeney simply stood and watched as I paced back and forth, babbling and swearing under my breath.

In the end, I collapsed onto my chair.

"What was the year?" I asked quietly.

"What - "

"What was the year that you were in the bake house?" I demanded, glaring up at him.

"1846."

"_1846_?" I repeated. Finally loosing control, I let out a wild noise that was a cross between a sob and a screech before throwing my head back against the chair and shutting my eyes.

Seriously, what did I do to deserve this?

"I need a drink," I muttered, reaching for my beer can and taking a long drink from it. Opening my eyes, I saw the slightly jealous look in Sweeney's eyes. "Would you like one?"

"What is it?" He questioned.

"Beer," I grinned. "And it's the good stuff."

Sweeney gave it a suspicious look, his nose screwed up slightly, before reluctantly nodding.

"C'mon, we'll have to get it from my kitchen."

I half expected Sweeney to refuse to follow me, but, to my surprise, he simply followed me in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, though.

It was odd.

Once we got to my kitchen upstairs, Sweeney lingered in the doorway, looking around in mild curiousity, as I opened my fridge and simply grabbed the rest of the beer cans.

"Here," I thrust a few into his arms before brushing past him. Seeing him stood in the doorway still, I rolled my eyes. "Don't just stand there."

Like a child that had been scolded, Sweeney took a few steps away from the doorway before turning around and slowly following me, his eyes wandering everything. Poor guy looked really confused and disorientated.

"You can sit down." I told him once we reached the living room, putting the beer cans in my arms on the coffee table, taking the ones in his arms to do the same. His hands brushed against my arms, and I gasped at how freezing they were.

Our eyes met.

For a moment, we simply stood there, looking into each other's eyes, definately invading each other's personal space. If I leaned up a bit and he leaned down a bit, we'd be kissing.

As if he suddenly realised it, Sweeney took a quick step backwards.

"Sorry." He muttered gruffly, turning his back on me and sitting on the sofa. I stood for a moment, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

"Yeah, so am I." I whispered, turning around to put the cans down. Grabbing another one for me and one for him, I threw myself on the sofa opposite him, crossing my legs Indian-style.

"Here."

I held out his can, and he took it, both us being careful not to make contact with each other.

Again, silence took over us while we drunk our beer. I didn't know what to say, and I presumed that he had the same problem.

"Who was that woman?"

Sweeney looked up at me, his expression one of startle. It looked so odd that I had to supress the giggles that rose to my throat.

"What?"

I licked my lips and took a sip of beer before daring to repeat my question.

"Who was that woman? That one you were holding?"

Sweeney frowned, but not unkindly. Instead, he looked...

He looked sad.

His eyes on the floor, he finally responded in a low, gruff voice.

"My wife," He told me. "Lucy."

Lucy...

So that was why I heard her name.

Lucy...

"What happened to her?" I asked softly, leaning forwards slightly. Sweeney's head snapped up, his dark eyes meeting my curious ones.

"I killed her," He said in a broken voice. "I killed my wife."

* * *

><p>Yes, another fast update! Seriously, I sit down for five minutes and I spend half an hour working on a new chapter. I can't help it. I love writing this story.<p>

And, yes, another conversation! Luckily, this one was a bit more civilised!

Thank you Shelia Chiaroscura, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Spanish Sunrise, filmgrl13 (lovely to hear from you again!) and JDeppIsMyLovely for reviewing!


	12. So Cool, So Scared

_**Chapter Twelve  
>So Cool, So Scared<strong>_

_And now you're running from me  
>So cool, so scared of what you might have said<br>~Rewind, Paramore_

* * *

><p>Silence.<p>

It loomed over us as we sat opposite each other, neither of us speaking, neither of us looking away from each other's gaze, fearful of what the other might do.

I couldn't think properly.

_I killed my wife._

My heart began racing.

_I killed my wife._

I couldn't breathe.

_I killed my wife._

My chest started to constrict.

_I killed my wife._

My stomach clenched. Nausea took over me. My body started shaking.

_I KILLED MY WIFE._

Sweeney watched with an unfathomable expression, scrutinizing my every move.

Scared.

My eyes left his, wandering across the room to look out the window as I tried to think in a logical manner, but that one sentence pounded through my head, stopping any logic from forming.

Hell, who was I kidding? I had to be the most unlogical person on Earth!

_Who needs logic when you can have fun?_

I bit my lip as Dad's voice rolled through my mind, mingling with what Sweeney had just told me.

Oh God.

"You...killed her..." I finally managed to croak. "Your wife..."

Oh God.

Sweeney stared at me for a moment longer before suddenly standing up, so quickly that I automatically flinched and drew back. The simple action made him stare at me as if I had slapped him across the face.

I watched him anxiously, wondering what on Earth he was going to do, when he spun around and stormed out of the room.

Leaving me alone with my thoughts.

* * *

><p>My phone ringing disturbed my confused thoughts.<p>

Thankful for a distraction, I grabbed it and answered it, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Niamh, studio, now."

"Tim, you have got to give me more notice than this!"

"Whatever. Hurry up."

With that, Tim hung up. Rolling my eyes at my incredibly annoying director, I pushed my phone into my pocket and got up from the sofa, wincing as my legs immediately began to ache in protest.

Limping to my room, I found my jacket and car keys. Not knowing where Sweeney was (and not sure if I wanted to know), I scribbled him a note, ready to put it on the counter for him to find.

However, when I got downstairs, he was already there.

I jumped in surprise when I saw him, but quickly regained my concentration.

"I'm going out." I announced.

Sweeney didn't comment, refusing to look my way.

"I won't be long. A couple of hours at the most."

He nodded once.

"You can help yourself to drinks and whatever food you can find in the fridge."

He grunted.

"I'll pick something up for dinner on the way home, shall I?"

He didn't respond.

Rolling my eyes, I crossed the shop and only spoke to him as I got to the door.

"See you later, then."

"Bye."

I smirked as he spoke, considering it a personal victory, before leaving.

I blocked out any thought of our earlier conversation, not wanting it to plague my mind while I was on stage. Something would go horrifically wrong otherwise.

When I got to the studio, I was surprised to see that only the main cast was there, not any of the chorus. They were also gathered around the piano with our musical director and Tim's wife, Helena.

"Hi Niamh!" David called, waving at me. I grinned and waved back, my keys jangling in my hand.

"Hey guys. What's going on?"

"Singing rehearsel," Kat told me, rolling her eyes. I smiled.

"Oh, of course."

"Come and stand next to me, Niamh," David said, gesturing to the space on his left. "It'll be easier for _Suddenly Seymour_."

I could feel my cheeks burning as I walked forwards and stood next to him, feeling like a school girl again.

"Right, we're going to go through the basics, warm ups etc, and then get onto the actual music," Tim told us. "Now, ah."

* * *

><p>David had such an amazing voice.<p>

I stood next to him, trying to focus on the sheet of words in my hands, but his voice was distracting me as he sung the opening verse to _Suddenly Seymour, _the song in which Seymour announces his love for Audrey, resulting in a snog.

My knees went slightly wobbly.

When Helena gave me the signal, I began singing.

_Nobody ever_

Treated me kindly

Daddy left early

Mama was poor

I'd meet a man and

I'd follow him blindly

He'd snap his fingers

_Me, I'd say "sure"_

_"_Yes, Niamh!" Tim called over the music. "Keep it going!"

Grinning, I looked up at David, who was watching me with a wide smile.

_Suddenly Seymour _

_Is standin' beside me_

_He don't give me orders_

_He don't condescend_

_Suddenly Seymour _

_Is here to provide me_

_Sweet understanding_

_Seymour's my friend_

David grinned as he began singing.

_Tell me this feeling lasts till forever_

_Tell me the bad times are clean washed away_

Then it was my go again. My grin was so wide that my cheeks were beginning to hurt, but I was having fun.

_Please understand that it's still _

_Strange and frightnin'_

_For losers like I've been _

_It's so hard to say_

_Suddenly Seymour_

_He purified me _

_Suddenly Seymour showed me I can _

_Learn how to be more_

_The girl that's inside me_

_With sweet understanding_

_Seymour's my man! _

The song ended with everyone clapping as David and I embraced, both of us laughing as we hugged. I didn't notice the door opening as he picked me up and spun me around.

"NIAMH!"

I froze at the sound of his voice, my heart skipping a beat.

"Excuse me, but you're not - "

"Oh shut it, you mad bat."

Biting my lip so hard that I drew blood, I turned around and spoke in a shaky voice.

"Hello, Jared."

* * *

><p>Thank you XTheOnlyOneForeverX, CadyD, JDeppIsMyLovely, ShellyMay and Shelia Chiaroscura for reviewing!<p>

Links for what Niamh, Anna, Theo and Jared look like are on my profile in case you are curious XD


	13. You're Breaking My Heart

_**Chapter Thirteen  
>You're Breaking My Heart<strong>_

_You're breaking my heart  
>You've changed<em>

_You've forgotten the words_  
><em>I love you<em>  
><em>Each memory that we've shared<em>  
><em>You ignore every star above you<em>  
><em>I can't realise that you ever cared<em>  
><em>~You've Changed, Eva Cassidy<em>

* * *

><p>Jared was angry.<p>

His jaw was tight and his fists were clenched by his sides. I could see the little muscle just underneath his eye pulsing as he glared at me.

"Excuse me, but you're not supposed to be in here." Tim stated, crossing his arms across his chest. Jared ignored him.

"Niamh, outside. Now." He growled.

"You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do." David told me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Shut the fuck up, mate. This is between me and her, not some fucking pussy gay boy that dances and calls it a living."

"Look, I was trying to be civilised."

"No, you were sticking your nose in where it isn't wanted."

David removed his hand from my shoulder and stepped in front of me, squaring up to Jared.

"Alright, pick a window, because you're leaving."

"Stop it!" I cried, rushing forwards and pushing myself in between them. "David," I said in a more gentle tone. "It's alright. I can fight my own battles."

David didn't look convinced, but took a step backwards.

"Outside," Jared muttered, so that only I could hear him. "Now."

I should've refused. I should've said, "No, Jared, whatever you've got to say, you say it in front of my friends."

But I didn't.

Like a weak and submissive doll, I hung my head and trailed after Jared, my feet dragging on the ground with every step.

The door made a loud bang as it swung shut, excluding Jared and I from everyone else and leaving us stood in the studio car park.

I shivered; it was freezing.

"This has gone on long enough, Niamh."

I looked up at him in shock, my brow furrowing.

"What do you - "

"Don't play stupid with me!" He snapped, making me flinch. "You've made your point, so come home."

"But it isn't my home."

"Of course it's your home, what do you mean?"

"It stopped being my home years ago, Jared," I told him with a shaky voice. "Ever since you hit me."

Jared didn't speak.

I watched as several emotions flashed through his eyes, bracing myself. First he looked sad, then annoyed, then angry. His brow furrowed slightly as he thought, and I could only imagine his thought process.

"Jared...I know that your grandmother didn't raise you to be a wife beater." I said softly, reaching out.

Jared's expression turned angry so quickly that I snatched my hand back from him.

"Don't you dare bring her into this." He hissed.

"I'm sorry, Jared, I just - "

"NO!"

I flinched, automatically ducking my head.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Look at me."

I didn't move.

"LOOK AT ME!"

I snapped my head up so fast that it hurt my neck, biting my lip as I stared at Jared fearfully. He stepped forwards. I stepped backwards.

"You are going to come home with me," He said in a low voice. "And you are going to behave."

I stared up at him, anger taking over me and clouding any rational thoughts.

"Fuck that!" I yelled. "Jared, you have been hitting me and treating me like your little toy for far too long! You _killed _our child! There is no way in hell that I am coming anywhere with you!"

The last thing I remembered was being slammed against the wall with Jared's hand around my neck.

And then everything went black.

* * *

><p>"I am quite capable of driving myself." I grumbled, glaring out the window with my arms crossed. I felt like a stubborn teenager, slumped in my seat with my feet resting on the dashboard.<p>

David rolled his eyes.

"Niamh, you had a really bad shock."

"I had more than a frickin' shock." I muttered.

Despite everything, I couldn't help but feel slightly pleased that David wanted to drive me home.

I wondered how Sweeney would feel.

I sighed, shutting my eyes. Sweeney had nothing to do with this.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," I mumbled. "Just thinking."

"Oh."

We sat in silence as David turned a corner and rolled up outside the shop, cutting the engine and handing me the keys. We both undid our seatbelts before climbing out of the car.

"Well, I guess that I'll see you at the next rehearsel, David."

"Sure. It was nice seeing you today."

"Yeah, you too."

We smiled at each other for a moment before David looked around, his cheeks turning pink.

"Bye."

"Bye."

David grinned at me before turning and strolling down the pavement, his hands in the pockets of his jacket. I watched him leave with a small smile before turning to the shop and unlocking the door.

Sweeney was still sat in the same spot.

I stared at him, slowly shutting the door behind me, with a furrowed brow.

"Have you not moved at all?" I asked.

His eyes snapped up to meet mine, his jaw clenched.

"You said that you wouldn't be long."

I rubbed my neck, wincing as pain shot through me. I hoped that Sweeney hadn't noticed, but the way his brow furrowed told me otherwise.

"There were...complications."

Sweeney frowned, but didn't question me. I sighed, putting my jacket down.

"And I forgot to get dinner."

"I'm not hungry."

"Tough, I am, and you're eating with me."

Sweeney glared at me, but I ignored him as I went through my contact list on my mobile.

"What about pizza?" I offered.

"Pizza?"

I sighed, remembering that he wasn't from this century and didn't know what pizza was.

"It's a really big bit of dough with tomato sauce and cheese on it," I explained. "It's very nice."

Sweeney didn't look convinced.

"Look, I can eat one on my own, but I'll get us a large one that we can share, ok?"

He didn't respond.

"Or would you prefer a sandwich?"

* * *

><p>Sweeney and I sat on my sofa - opposite ends, of course - watching TV and eating pizza. It turned out that he did like it, even if he was a little wary of it at first.<p>

Sipping my glass of wine, I cleared the air by speaking.

"I'm going to go into town tomorrow," I told him. "And get you a bed."

Sweeney looked at me, frowning. "Why?"

"You can't sleep on my sofa every night, and I'm not kicking you out," I said. "So I'm going to get a sofa bed for you."

He looked confused.

"Right, this is a sofa," I patted the sofa. "A sofa bed is exactly the same, but the seat unfolds to make a bed. That way, we can put it in the office and you can sleep there at night. During the day, we can fold it up again."

"Oh."

"I was thinking about getting you some new clothes as well, so you're not so...obvious," I paused. "Would you like to come with me?"

"Why would I want to do that?" Sweeney muttered, taking another bite out of his slice of pizza.

"So we can get your hair done." I said delicately.

"What does 'done' consist of?"

I chewed my bottom lip. "Cut and dyed."

"Dyed?"

"Yeah...so the white streak isn't there anymore."

Sweeney glared at me.

"Oh c'mon!" I whined. "I know that this is London, but you can only be so weird! Plus, it'll look nice. We won't have much chopped off, just a trim and maybe straighten it - "

"Fine." He interupted gruffly.

"What?"

"Fine." He repeated. I grinned, scooting over and throwing my arms around him.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You won't regret this, I promise!"

I could feel Sweeney stiffen in my embrace, suddenly realising what I was doing.

"Oh, sorry."

I quickly released him and scooted back to my end of the sofa, my cheeks burning as I tried to hide my grin.

Looking at him from the corner of my eye, I could see that Sweeney was suffering from the same problem.

* * *

><p>Thank you Shelia Chiaroscura, CadyD, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, JDeppIsMyLovely, Writer103010 and ShellyMay for reviewing! I'm so glad that most of you got the TimHelena hint in the last chapter XD


	14. Together We'll Be

_**Chapter Fourteen  
>Together We'll Be<strong>_

_You and me together we'll be  
>Forever you'll see<br>We two can be good company  
>~Good Company, Oliver and Friends soundtrack<em>

* * *

><p>"Good morning."<p>

Sweeney grunted in reply; he was still miffed about last night.

"Would you like something to drink?"

He grunted again. I smiled.

"Coffee ok?"

Sweeney made a jerky movement that I presumed to be a nod. My smile growning, I wandered out of the living room and to the kitchen, turning the radio on as I poured water into the kettle.

I was in a really good mood.

Turning the volume of the radio up so that I could hear the song playing, I gently played with the collar of my turtleneck jumper, chosen to hide the bruises that had formed over night.

Sighing, I flicked the switch of the kettle down and then searched for the coffee.

I felt so happy that I began to sing along with the song playing.

"_Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo. The way you move ain't fair you know. Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do_ - "

I cut myself off as I spun around and saw Sweeney stood in the doorway.

He was watching me with an odd expression, confusion mixed with amusement, his head tilted to the side and his brow furrowed.

"Hi."

"I came to get my coffee." He explained quietly.

"Oh, right. I was going to bring in for you."

"Oh."

My cheeks burned as I turned around and continued making our coffees, trying hard not to make eye contact with Sweeney.

"Here."

Sweeney took the cup from me silently, his fingers brushing against mine. My cheeks turned a deeper shade of red, so I looked away and distracted myself by spooning sugar into my coffee.

"We can't be long," I told him, still not looking at him. "Your hair appointment is first thing."

He didn't respond, drinking his coffee and grimacing slightly. I grinned despite myself.

"Want some sugar?"

Sweeney stared at my outstretched hand, in which I held the tiny sugar pot, before reaching out and taking the pot from me.

"Thank you." He mumbled, spooning sugar into his coffee.

"You're welcome."

We stood in silence for a moment, the radio playing in the background as we drunk our coffee.

"You were singing."

I looked up, surprised at Sweeney's sudden offer to open a conversation.

"Yes," I replied slowly. "I was."

"I didn't know you sung."

I grinned. "It's my job," I told him. "I'm a performer."

Sweeney frowned, tilting his head to the side as his brow furrowed.

"I sing, dance and act on stage," I explained. "In front of loads of people. It's really good fun."

"I can imagine." He muttered in a somewhat bitter tone. I laughed, finishing off my coffee and placing the mug on the counter.

"Well, I'm done. I'm going to grab my bag and I'll meet you downstairs, ok?"

Sweeney nodded in agreement and I smiled at him before leaving the kitchen.

I couldn't help but grin to myself as I entered my room, overjoyed that he seemed to be opening up slightly.

* * *

><p>I decided that we were going to walk to town, not wanting to overwhelm Sweeney with the concept of cars and buses quite yet. I did notice him looking at my car in curiousity, but quickly disguised it as indifference when I questioned him about it.<p>

We walked along at a serene pace, talking. I would explain things as we passed while Sweeney listened, occasionally passing a comment or asking a question.

He wasn't exactly talkative, but he was good company.

"Here we are," I announced as we approached the hairdressers. Sweeney stared at it with slight contempt.

"This is where people come to have their hair styled." He muttered, shaking his head. I smiled.

"Yep, so you're gonna have to like it or lump it. Either way, we're getting that hair sorted out."

Inside, we were greeted by a pretty woman with blonde hair called Leanne, who took Sweeney's coat and led him to a chair. I grinned and sat down on the sofa, leaning back and watching as she played with his thick tangle.

While Sweeney was taken to have his hair washed and dyed, I flicked through one of the magazines with disinterest, wishing I had something else to do.

I looked up just in time to see Sweeney being led back, a towel wrapped around his shoulders and his hair soaking wet. He looked fairly disgruntled, glaring at me as he passed.

Grinning, I gathered my things and wandered over.

"And how would you like it?" Leanne asked, playing with his hair with a small frown.

"Nothing fancy," I explained for him. "Just cut to a reasonable length really."

"Oh, alright."

While Leanne chopped and dried his hair, Sweeney continued glaring at me through the mirror. I simply grinned at him.

"So, have you two been together long?"

Sweeney frowned as I straightened up, shaking my head.

"No, no, we're not together!" I said hastily.

"Oh, sorry!" Leanne smiled apologetically as she flicked her hair over her shoulder. "I make that mistake, like, all the time!"

She smiled again before continuing with Sweeney's hair. I looked at him, to see his reaction, only to find that his dark eyes were watching me.

Blushing, I looked away again, focusing on his hair cut, but knew that he was watching me.

"Is this an alright length?" Leanne asked, taking a step back from Sweeney.

"I think it is," I commented. "What do you think?"

Sweeney nodded. "It's acceptable." He muttered.

"Right..." Leanne said in an obviously worried tone. Poor girl. "I'll just dry it for you."

Sweeney's hair didn't look half bad, actually. It was the same, just...less curly...with no white streak...

He looked quite handsome really.

After thanking and paying Leanne, Sweeney and I left the shop. I still couldn't get used to his new hair cut, however.

"It does suit you," I told him. "It's hard to get used to, but it suits you."

Sweeney grunted. "Is that why you keep staring at me?"

"I'm not!"

He gave me a scathing look before turning and continuing to walk, leaving me stood there, unable to respond.

"Oi!"

I quickly ran after him, scowling up at him.

"Look, you better sort out your ego because I have not been staring at you and I wouldn't _want _to stare at you." I told him.

Sweeney merely looked down at me.

"Shut up!"

I scowled as I stormed ahead, leaving Sweeney to walk behind me. It didn't take him long to catch up with me, though; he walked with much longer strides than I could ever manage.

"Where are we going first?" He asked quietly, keeping his head ducked.

"Somewhere that sells decent clothes." I growled, still annoyed.

It didn't take long to find a shop to fit that description, and when we did, I immediately thrust a basket in his arms.

"Carry this." I ordered.

Sweeney followed me through to the mens section and watched as I went through the clothing, selecting various pieces for him.

In the end, he had various pairs of jeans, smart black trousers, several casual t-shirts, polo shirts, proper shirts that buttoned up and a few jumpers. All of them were fairly dark and plain.

Socks and boxers were easy really; all he needed were plain ones. Shoes were also fine, Sweeney finally owning a pair of plain black leather ones that were both smart and casual.

But then came the hardest part.

A coat.

"No..."

Sweeney looked severly discomforted in the suede jacket I had suggested, frowning with mild digust.

"Ok, maybe a different one."

While he took the coat off and hung it up again, I rooted through the shelves.

"Aha!"

I grinned triumphantly as I pulled out a leather trench coat that, judging from the length, would finish about mid-thigh.

"Try this on."

Sweeney pulled the coat on and then looked up at me, silently asking for my opinion. Pursing my lips together, I stepped forwards and buttoned the coat up, adjusting the lapels slightly, before stepping back again.

"Perfect."

* * *

><p>"I'm not hungry."<p>

"Tough, I am, and I'm not eating on my own like a total fatso."

Sweeney glared at me as I practically dragged him into the cafe. We had ordered a sofa bed and arranged for it to be delivered the next day, so I was now starving hungry.

"Here."

I thrust a menu at him as I arranged the bags underneath the table in a way that none of them would fall over. When I sat back up, Sweeney had put the menu on the table and was glaring at me.

"Pick something or I'll pick something for you." I threatened.

"I'm not hungry." He insisted.

"I don't care."

He glared at me and I glowered back.

This was going to be a long lunch.

In the end, I ordered us both sandwiches and salad with large coffees, which we definately needed. While we sipped our coffee and waited for our food, I gazed out the window with a content smile.

Our food finally arrived, and I amused myself by watching Sweeney. He was fairly suspicious of the sandwich, peeling the top piece of bread off and poking the contents before picking it up and examining it. He stopped, however, when he realised that I was watching him with raised eyebrows.

"What?" He demanded.

"Nothing...just wondering why you're being such a baby about a sandwich."

Sweeney glared at me as he picked his sandwich up and took a defiant bite out of it, continuing to glare at me as he chewed.

Whether he enjoyed it or not, I didn't know, but my comment made him stop playing with his food and actually eat it.

"Aren't you going to eat your salad?"

Sweeney looked down at the salad as if it was a piece of dirt, his nose screwed up slightly.

"It's rabbit food." He muttered, pushing the plate away from him. I laughed.

"No it isn't!"

He crossed his arms and continued glaring at the offensive salad. Rolling my eyes, I leaned forwards and, with his fork, stabbed a piece of lettuce and cucumber.

"Open up."

Sweeney looked at me with a dark look, but I merely smiled.

"Open wide for the choo-choo train!"

His mouth remained firmly shut as I made train noises and moved the fork towards him.

"Stop it." He muttered.

"The choo-choo train needs to go into the tunnel!"

"_Stop it._" Sweeney repeated, grabbing my wrist and slamming it onto the table.

We sat like that for a moment, neither of us knowing how to react. Though the contact with the table didn't actually hurt, my wrist...felt funny.

Though I would never admit this out loud, I liked his hand on my skin.

As if suddenly realising the contact, Sweeney snatched his hand away and picked up his fork, stabbing at his salad violently.

Swallowing, I followed suit, withdrawing my arm and picking at my salad.

"Aren't you going to eat your salad?"

I looked up at Sweeney, who was looking down at me with a small grin. It was the first genuine smile I had seen, and it transformed his face from haunted to beautiful.

Grinning back, I put my fork down.

"Nah, it's rabbit food."

Sweeney shook his head, still grinning, and then looked down at his salad. I grinned to myself, leaning back in my seat and sipping my coffee.

It wasn't going to be easy, but, hell, living with Sweeney was sure going to be fun.

* * *

><p>Everyone seemed pretty eager for this shopping trip and new hairstyle, so I tried to put in as much detail as possible!<p>

Thank you JDeppIsMyLovely, CadyD, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Shelia Chiaroscura, xXGreenRoseliaXx and Lily Yamamoto for reviewing!

As for the changing Sweeney to fit times - I will be very careful doing this, but, really, these will only be physical changes. Deep down, he'll still be the murderous barber we all know and love!


	15. You've Made Me Trust

_**Chapter Fifteen  
>You've Made Me Trust<strong>_

_But then you came around me  
>The walls just disappeared<br>Nothing to surround me  
>And keep me from my fears<br>I'm unprotected  
>See how I've opened up<br>Oh, you've made me trust  
>~Naked, Avril Lavigne<em>

* * *

><p>It was raining.<p>

It wasn't just raining, it was pouring down.

Sweeney and I stood in the doorway of the cafe, staring out at the sudden weather change.

Good old England.

"By the way, English weather at the moment is pretty messed up." I commented.

"I noticed."

I grinned up at Sweeney.

"Shall we go?"

He looked down at me, his brow furrowed, but then realised what I was saying. Sighing, he reluctantly nodded.

My grin widening, I made sure that the bags were securely shut and then ran out.

I got soaking the minute I stepped outside, my jumper clinging to my body, but I didn't care. Making sure that Sweeney was following, I ran through the streets, laughing as my feet splashed in the puddles.

I didn't expect Sweeney to run, and my expectations were met. He walked in quick, long strides, but didn't run. Rolling my eyes, I paused to turn around and face him.

"Come on!" I called with a grin.

Sweeney merely continued walking, giving me a defiant look as he strode past me. Laughing, I ran after him.

"I'll race you." I offered, bumping my shoulder against his. Well, his arm, because I couldn't actually reach his shoulder.

"No, thanks."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Well," I said after a moment of thought. "You're no fun."

Sweeney snorted and muttered something under his breath.

We walked for a few minutes, but I soon got bored of the slow pace and getting soaking wet. Shifting my bags into one hand, I grabbed Sweeney's free hand.

"Come on!" I coaxed, running forwards and pulling him with me.

Amazingly, he didn't try to resist. Sure, his hand was stiff and unwelcoming against mine, but he allowed me to pull him forwards, lengthening his strides to match my run.

When we finally got to the shop, we were both drenched and resembled drowned rats. Sweeney didn't seem too bothered, but I felt very uncomfortable.

We stood in the shop for a moment, neither of us speaking, taking in the warmth of the room.

Sweeney cleared his throat pointedly, refusing to meet my questioning gaze. My cheeks burned as I realised that I hadn't yet released his hand.

"Sorry," I muttered, letting go. "Erm...if you take off your shoes, we can go upstairs and dry off."

Kicking my shoes off, I practically ran out of the shop and upstairs, knowing that he was following me. Throwing the bags onto the bathroom floor, I picked out my favourite towel and then left him one on the closed toilet seat.

I was just leaving the bathroom as he got to the top of the stairs.

"I've left you a towel and your clothes," I explained, unable to meet his eyes. "Just leave your wet clothes on the floor and I'll sort them out for you."

Sweeney muttered something that sounded like a thank you, but I wasn't too sure. My cheeks burning, I shuffled past him and into my room.

It was a relief to strip down from my wet and heavy clothes, leaving them in a soaking pile on the floor. Afterwards, I picked out my favourite pair of jeans and my oversized hoodie, tying my soaking hair back into a ponytail.

My slippers on my feet and the wet clothes in the dirty washing basket, I left my room and went to make myself a coffee.

While I was in the kitchen, I reflected on the day.

It had been...well, it had been rather good fun. Odd, but fun.

Sensing someone behind me, I turned around and saw Sweeney in the doorway.

"You look nice."

Sweeney actually looked fairly awkward in a pair of black jeans, a shirt and a navy v-neck jumper with horizontal stripes going through it.

If it wasn't for the uncomfortable expression on his face, he would've easily passed for someone from the twenty first century.

"Thank you." Sweeney muttered, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

"You'll stretch it out of shape if you keep doing that," I told him, and then felt horrified. "I just sounded like my Mother."

He frowned. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

Seeing the mildly confused expression on his face, I sighed.

"She's a crazy Irish woman. Seriously, my whole family is full of them. I'm one of them, technically, but I have an English accent like my brothers and sister. But we have to speak with an Irish accent when we go over there or see family."

I looked up at Sweeney and grinned.

"You look really confused."

Sweeney hesitated before nodding once.

"Don't worry, then. Want a coffee?"

Sweeney comfirmed that, yes, he did want a coffee. When they were made, he followed me to the living room. Once again, I had to tell him that he could sit down, and when we were, I turned to face him.

"The first time we sat on this sofa, you told me that you killed your wife."

Sweeney's expression remained blank, but I knew that it was the wrong thing to say.

"Sorry," I said. "That was a stupid thing to say."

Sweeney made a noise of agreement. Biting my bottom lip, I put my cup on the coffee table before shuffling forwards slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"You know what."

Sweeney turned to look at me with a mild sneer.

"Why would I - "

"It might help." I interupted.

Sweeney paused and stared at me with an odd expression, one I couldn't deciever.

So I simply stared back at him with a cool expression, waiting.

When he didn't respond, I leaned forwards, placing my head in my hands.

"You didn't mean to kill her."

"Of course I didn't." He snapped bitterly.

"Alright. Did you know it was her?"

Sweeney froze.

"You didn't, did you?"

I thought he wouldn't respond at first, but after a while, he shook his head.

"No."

"What?"

"No," He repeated firmly. "I didn't know it was her. I would never hurt Lucy, I - "

He cut himself off, immediately clamming up. I sighed, leaning back.

"You loved her. She was your world, and, no matter what, you always loved her."

Sweeney frowned at me, silently questioning me. I sighed, gently rubbing my ring finger.

"I felt like that once, too."

There was a brief pause as Sweeney studied my face. I waited, allowing him to speak.

"Who was he?"

"The love of my life," I said, and then laughed bitterly. "Oh, it was stupid really."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why was it stupid?"

I brushed a strand of damp hair out of my face.

"I thought that he loved me," I began slowly. "And he did, in his own way. He was...he was my world. I thought that he was perfect, that we would be together forever. We were going to get married."

I looked up and met Sweeney's gaze, which was surprisingly gentle.

"What happened?" He asked softly. I blinked back the tears that had sprung to my eyes, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand.

"He started drinking...it wasn't that bad at first, just a beer with his friends after work, a bit of champagne at a party, but he just kept drinking night after night," I paused, swallowing. "He'd get so angry at times...angry at me..."

I paused again, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie while Sweeney watched me silently.

"Sorry," I grinned sheepishly. "Jared just...we were going to get married...have a family..." I smiled. "I was already pregnant...but he got so angry..." I shut my eyes and allowed a few tears to trickle down my cheeks. "I lost the baby."

Opening my eyes, I saw the slight confusion in Sweeney's eyes.

"My baby died inside of me," I explained. "It wasn't even a baby...it was just a little sea monkey in my belly."

Laughing to myself, I ducked my head and allowed a few more tears to run down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry."

I looked up at Sweeney in surprise, wiping my eyes with my hoodie sleeve again.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," He repeated. "It must be hard."

I nodded. "It is. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through. But I'm strong," I grinned. "I have to be, really."

Sighing, I shifted my position so I was leaning against Sweeney's shoulder. He froze beneath me, but I didn't care.

"But you must be going through a lot of pain as well." I mumbled.

"Yes...I am."

Without really thinking, I reached out and held Sweeney's hand in mine, holding them up so that I could compare.

"Your hands are so cold." I whispered as our fingers automatically weaved through each other.

"Your hands are so warm."

I smiled in an almost sleepy manner, nestling in closer to him.

Sweeney remained frozen next to me for a moment longer, but, after a while, he relaxed.

"Sweeney," I said, addressing him for the first time.

"Yes?"

"Can you put your arm around me?"

Sweeney didn't respond.

"If you'd rather not - "

"It's fine." He muttered gruffly, sliding a reluctant arm around my shoulders.

Neither of us spoke all night, soon falling asleep in each other's embrace.

* * *

><p>Thank you Spanish Sunrise, JDeppIsMyLovely, CadyD, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Samuel Fox, Shelia Chiaroscura and Princess Taylor for reviewing :)<p>

I must say that I'm pleasantly surprised how many of you enjoyed the cafe scene at the end of last chapter!


	16. You Change Your Mind

_**Chapter Sixteen  
><strong>__**You Change Your Mind**_

_You change your mind  
><em>_Like a girl changes clothes  
>~Hot N Cold, Katy Perry<em>

* * *

><p>It felt like it had been a long time since I woke up in someones arms.<p>

I woke up slowly, my eyes flickering as I lifted my head, frowning sleepily.

Where was I?

The open window told me that it was still dark outside, thick clouds covering the moon and stars and raindrops tapping against the glass. I watched them roll down like tiny rivers, smiling to myself.

I then realised where I was.

Turning my head slightly, I saw Sweeney sat next to me, fast asleep.

His arm was wrapped around my shoulders, holding me in a close embrace, while his other hand was outstretched, weaved into mine. My legs were curled up on the sofa, my body leaning to the side and nestled into his chest.

It was nice.

Really, what I should've done, what any decent person would've done, was to untangle myself from his arms and go to bed. I'd let him think that he fell asleep alone on the sofa. Under no circumstances should I remain there.

But I liked being there.

I liked leaning against Sweeney, lying in his arms.

I chewed my bottom lip in confusion. Really, I should save him the humiliation of waking up with another woman. He didn't need any of those worries, not after Lucy...

Lucy.

When he spoke about her, it was clear that he loved her. He loved her with all his heart.

Nothing could change that.

But I loved Jared.

Granted, I hated him, but I still loved him. Like I told Sweeney, he was the love of my life.

Nothing could change that.

So, maybe, just maybe, we could help each other.

Smiling to myself, I decided to be selfish and snuggled into Sweeney's chest, making myself comfy before falling asleep.

Damn the consequences.

* * *

><p>When I woke up for the second time, it was just seconds before Sweeney did.<p>

Blinking and rubbing my eyes with my free hand, I cleared my vision before looking around, listening to the rain.

Sweeney groaned and shifted underneath me slightly as his eyes opened.

"Morning." I whispered, smiling up at him.

At the sound of my voice, Sweeney froze.

Frowning, I straightened out and looked up at him.

"Are you alright?" I asked softly.

So suddenly that I wasn't expecting it, Sweeney snatched his arm from my shoulders and his hand from mine, standing up and striding out of the room.

I sat on the sofa alone, unable to comprehend what had just happened, my mind reeling.

What?

So, last night, he sat with me and talked to me and listened to me, but this morning, he acts like I'm some disgusting...thing and leaves without a word?

"Bastard." I muttered underneath my breath.

My legs were stiff, making me limp as I uncurled them and got up to walk to the bathroom, in desperate need of a shower.

Turning on the hot water, I stripped down from my clothes and threw them on the ground, climbing into the shower.

The hot water ran down my body, unclenching my stiff muscles. I smiled to myself, closing my eyes as I tilted my head back and wetted my hair. Once my hair was soaked through, I reached out and grabbed my shampoo and then my conditioner.

Feeling suitably clean, I rinsed the conditioner off and then turned the shower off, climbing out again.

I wrapped a long towel around my nude body and then one around my shoulders. Scooping my clothes up in my wet arms, I unlocked the door and padded down the corridor.

As I dried myself off, my mind thought back to Sweeney.

My stomach twisted slightly as I remembered his reaction.

Why was it that the way he reacted made me feel so...

Upset?

Yeah, I guess upset was the right word. I was upset that, after last night, he reacted like that.

That was the only reason I was upset.

Nothing else.

It was only because of last night that I felt upset.

Rolling my eyes, I slipped on a pair of girl boxers and a comfy bra, sitting at my dressing table and drying my hair.

Was I convincing myself too much?

Was it really just because of last night that Sweeney's reaction upset me?

"Yes," I muttered, scowling. "That's the only reason. Stop being so stupid."

My hair dried, I got dressed in my short denim skirt, a tight fitting blouse and a pair of tights, wearing a pair of stripy socks over the top, like I used to do when I was twelve.

I slipped on my biker boots and then tied my hair into a messy bun. Feeling ready and confident, I left my room and strode down the corridor.

My confidence shriveled away slightly, however, when I got up to the office and saw Sweeney stood by the window, his back facing me.

Swallowing, I pushed my shoulders back and straightened up my back. This was my shop and I had every right to be in my office.

So I opened the door and I strode in, not saying a word to Sweeney. I walked past him and sat down on my chair, opening my laptop and turning it on.

Once my laptop was on and the internet was loaded, I first checked my emails, having sent one earlier that week to Mum explaining the situation. I would've rung her, but she was on a business trip and I didn't want to do so in one of her meetings.

A grin spread across my face as I saw Mum had replied and even included some photos of the family for me. Saving them to my memory card, I made a mental note to get them printed off.

"Is that your family?"

I jumped and slammed my laptop shut as Sweeney spoke from behind me.

"Yep." I replied stiffly.

He didn't respond and, after a minute or two, I heard him walk away. Scowling to myself, I opened up the laptop again and typed out a reply to Mum, thanking her for the support and photos.

"So what's changed?"

"What?"

"What's changed?" I repeated, my back still facing him.

"I don't know what you mean." He muttered.

"Oh, I'll enlighten you, shall I?" I snapped, spinning around. "Last night, you let me make a total fool out of myself. I opened up to you in a way that I have never opened up to anyone. I cried in front of you and you let me! You put your arm around me and you hugged me all night. But this morning, you act like I'm a piece of shit on your shoe!"

Sweeney glared at me in an almost disgusted manner.

"I didn't - "

"Don't try and deny it!" I yelled, standing up. "You can't keep doing this to me!"

"Doing what?" He demanded angrily.

"You act like my friend one minute and then turn around and act like I'm the complete opposite!"

"What do you want from me?"

"For you to make your fucking mind up!" I shouted.

We were stood incredibly close by now, definately invading each other's personal space.

"I want you to stop messing me around," I continued in a much calmer voice. "I want you to treat me with respect, even if you don't like me."

"Niamh, I - "

"No," I interupted, holding a hand up. "Just listen...this is my home. I don't mind you living here. Hell, I enjoy having company! But I've had way too much going on at the moment, and I don't need you acting like a total jerk on top of it all."

Sweeney looked down at me, his eyes hypnotisingly beautiful.

We were so close...

"You can speak now," I told him. "If you want to, that is. I don't blame you if you don't. I was being a total bitch, but it had to be said."

Our noses were practically touching...

"I'm sorry if I have hurt you in any way," Sweeney muttered in a low voice that made my heart race. "I didn't know I had upset you."

I could feel his breath on my face...

"It's alright," I breathed. "I forgive you."

Sweeney's lips titled slightly in a small grin.

"Thank you."

We were inches from each other, looking into each other's eyes like we couldn't bear to look away. Blushing, I allowed my eyes to slide down to his lips, which were slightly parted.

"I..."

I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence before Sweeney's lips were on mine.

* * *

><p>My most evil cliffhanger yet? I'll let you decide...<p>

Thank you Spanish Sunrise, CadyD, Samantha Eleanor Lestrange, ShellyMay, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, , M. Cullen Hightopp and Shelia Chiaroscura for reviewing!


	17. Keep Walkin' Around

_**Chapter Seventeen  
>Keep Walkin' Around<strong>_

_2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind  
>Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around<br>If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep  
>I can think that we just carried on<br>~Happy Ending, Mika_

* * *

><p>The minute our lips met, something happened.<p>

It was...magical. Amazing. Beautiful.

No words could describe the way it felt to have Sweeney's lips on mine.

I was surprised at how warm and soft they were, comparing them to my earlier suspicions of them being cold and dry, quite like a lizard.

We kissed each other carefully, gently, slowly, neither of us wanting to frighten each other.

With slow movements, his hands slid up to my face, just resting on either side. I leaned into his touch, loving the way his skin felt against mine.

And then I realised what I was doing.

Oh God.

Oh _God. _

I pulled away quickly, staring at him in horror and disbelief.

"Why are you kissing me?" I asked.

He didn't answer, and instead looked away, his expression mirroring mine.

Shaking my head, I stepped back, brushing my hair out of my face before facing him again.

"Sort your relationship problems out before you throw yourself into another one," I told him. "Seriously."

It felt like a horrible thing to say, but it needed to be said. Blinking back the tears that had sprung to my eyes, I turned around and left the shop without another word.

* * *

><p>I couldn't sleep.<p>

I had been curled up on my bed, my duvet forming a tight cocoon around me, but I couldn't sleep.

Not tonight.

Sighing, I untangled myself from the duvet and swung my legs over the side of my bed, resting my head in my hands.

I glanced at the clock.

Two in the morning.

How long had I been awake?

Feeling restless, I got up from my bed and opened the curtains, gazing out at the full moon in wonder.

A small frown came to my face as I turned away, resting my back against the cool glass, a few tired tears trickling down my cheeks.

I wanted my Dad.

My Mum wouldn't have understood how I felt at this moment, not really.

But Dad would've.

He would've sat down in his favourite armchair with a tumbler of whiskey in his hand the bottle on the table next to him. He would've gestured for me to sit down opposite him, listening to my troubles in silence, never interupting or commenting.

By the time I would've finished my story, he would've finished his whiskey, and so would've poured himself another one, taken a few sips and then tell what to do.

I smiled at the memory of Dad in his jeans and knitted jumper with the glass of whiskey in his hands.

That was another reason for our close bond; our love of whiskey.

Of course, my love of whiskey didn't emerge until I was thirteen and I snuck some into my room while Mum was on the phone, but I still felt closer to Dad whenever I drunk it.

I sighed, brushing the tears off my cheeks and tucking my hair behind my ears.

I felt like shit.

There was no denying it. I felt like shit.

My head was a total mess.

The sudden desire for alcohol overcame my body, and I couldn't stop myself as I pushed myself off the window and crossed my room, grabbing my hoodie and mobile on the way.

The floorboards were cold beneath my bare feet, creaking slightly as I walked. I winced, but continued walking anyway. The only person that would hear would be Sweeney, and he was probably still in the office.

Thinking about Sweeney made my stomach hurt.

Frowning, I placed a hand on my stomach, as if it would help ease the knotting feeling, and continued forwards to the kitchen.

After turning the light on, I began my search, finally finding a bottle of wine. I presumed it was left over from the party and, deciding it was better than nothing, snatched it up, taking it to the living room.

I didn't bother with the living room light, instead choosing to open the curtains while I curled up on the armchair. I had no glass, and so just drunk out of the bottle.

No, it wasn't exactly classy, but I didn't care.

I pulled my hoodie on over the top of my pyjamas and then placed my mobile next to me, making sure it was on vibrate so that I would know if anyone messaged me.

I unscrewed the bottle and then took a large swig, grimacing slightly at the taste. It was cheap wine, probably given to me by Tim.

Tight bastard.

I could never understand why someone like Tim ended up with someone like Helena, but when he looked at her, it was so clear that he was in love with her.

I snorted bitterly, taking another swig of wine.

Jeez, it really was rubbish.

But, hell, I was going to get drunk and if this was the only way to do it, then so be it.N

Deciding that I didn't want to get drunk on my own, I grabbed my mobile and stabbed out Theo's number; he'd have something decent.

"Hello?" Theo answered groggily. I laughed.

"Wake up, sleepy head, it's time to party!"

"Niamh, is that you?"

"No, it's Morgan Freeman, do you have any bones that need collecting?"

"That was Denzel Washington, you twat."

"Right, whatever. So, you want to come over?"

"Niamh, it's two in the morning."

"So? I'm bored!"

"You're drunk," Theo corrected dryly. "Or you're in the process of getting drunk."

"Yeah, and?"

Theo snorted. "Niamh, for God's sake, go back to bed."

"Oh, so that's how it is now? I don't live with you guys anymore so you can act all high and mighty and boss me around!" I accused angrily.

"I'm not bossing you around, I'm trying to help you!"

"Help me?"

"Do you not remember those Friday nights, Niamh, where you'd spend hours in my bathroom puking your guts up because you had so much to drink? That time you ended up in hospital after tripping over and bashing your head?"

"I was fourteen, Theo," I growled. "I'm not a little kid anymore."

"But you're acting like one. Go to bed."

Theo hung up, leaving me furious. Scowling, I stabbed out his number again, only to find that he had turned his phone off. Getting even angrier, I left him a message.

"Fuck you, bitchy Queen! You're not my Dad and I am not going to bed! I can have fun without you!"

Hanging up, I turned my phone off and threw it onto the sofa.

A loud creak of the floorboard told me that I wasn't alone anymore.

I didn't bother looking up as Sweeney walked into the room and sat in the sofa. He hadn't turned the light on either.

"What do you want?" I muttered.

"I heard you shouting."

We sat in silence for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say to each other.

"You know," I said casually, finally breaking the silence. "When I said that I wanted you to treat me with respect, I didn't mean that you had to kiss me."

"I shouldn't have done it." He muttered.

"No, but I shouldn't have kissed you back," I pointed out. "So we're kinda both in the wrong."

Sighing, I had another drink before holding out the bottle to Sweeney.

"Want some?" I offered.

Sweeney looked at me, at the bottle, and then back at me. Without saying anything, he took the bottle from me and then put it on the coffee table, far from my reach.

"Hey!"

"You've had enough."

"Oh yeah, since when did you care?"

Sweeney froze at the question, not responding. I stared at him for a moment, my brow furrowing.

"Do you care?" I asked softly, sitting up.

Sweeney looked at me, his expression angry and sad at the same time.

"I love Lucy." He told me.

"And I love Jared," I replied. "That doesn't mean that I can't move on."

"What makes you think that I want to move on?"

I laughed bitterly, shaking my head.

"So you're gonna be a stubborn idiot and brood over the past. I'm sure that Lucy would love that."

Sweeney glared at me with a furious expression, but thankfully didn't loose his temper. Sighing, I turned in my seat so that I was facing him.

"All I'm saying is...you don't have to feel guilty for carrying on with your life, because Lucy isn't ever coming back and...she probably wouldn't want you to never be happy again."

I met Sweeney's eyes again, frowning as I saw the pain and vulnerability in them.

"My Dad died when I was eleven," I told him. "And I felt like my life was never going to be the same again, like I could never leave my bed and carry on. But I did. One day at a time."

His eyes had wandered away, but snapped back to mine when I said that last sentence.

"What?"

I smiled. "One day at a time, Sweeney. That's how we get through these things. Reckon you can do that?"

Sweeney frowned slightly before nodding.

"Yes," He said quietly. "One day at a time."

* * *

><p>Thank you CadyD, Spanish Sunrise, Shelia Chiaroscura, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, I Love Mark Cohen and Princess Taylor for reviewing!<p> 


	18. May I Have Your Attention Please?

_**Chapter Eighteen  
><strong>__**May I Have Your Attention Please?**_

_Ladies and gentlemen  
>May I have your attention, please?<br>Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well as that delicate, lushious, ambrosial smell?  
>Yes, they are, I can tell<br>Well, ladies and gentlemen  
>That aroma enriching the breeze,<br>Is like something compared to its succulent source  
>As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course.<br>Ladies and gentlemen you can't imagine the rapture in store,  
>Just inside of this door!<br>~God That's Good, Sweeney Todd soundtrack_

* * *

><p>This was it.<p>

The grand opening.

I was petrified, of course. A reporter was coming along, as well as a photographer. Mum, the twins, Bronagh and Ryan were going to try and make it as well.

I sat in front of the mirror, fumbling with shaking hands to arrange my hair into a half-decent style. I couldn't leave it down, because that would look too casual, but maybe tying it up into a bun would look too professional? Plaits and bunches were far too childish, but a high ponytail didn't seem right either.

Groaning, I slammed my head down onto the desk.

When I finally composed myself once again, I brushed my hair and tucked it behind my ear, deciding that leaving it down would be the best option. I then glanced down at my outfit, worrying about that as well.

"Ah, get a grip Niamh!" I cried, stamping my foot in pure frustration.

The sound of a throat clearing made me spin around, anger clear on my face. My anger was quickly replaced, however, with embarresment when I saw Sweeney stood in the doorway of my room.

"I heard you shout." He told me.

"Oh. Erm..."

I paused, swallowing and looking away as I tried to will the burn of my cheeks to die down while Sweeney stood and watched in silence.

"I'm a little stressed."

"I can tell."

"Is it that obvious?"

Sweeney hesitated before nodding. I laughed in a slightly hysterical manner, sitting back down.

"Great," I said through my laughter. "Just...great."

"It'll be alright."

I looked up at Sweeney with raised eyebrows.

"You really believe that?" I asked bitterly.

He nodded again. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm going to mess up!"

Running a hand through my hair, I stood up and began pacing.

"I'm going to make a stupid face when they take the photo or...say something stupid when they talk to me...or I'll trip over with a tray of food or - "

I cut myself off when Sweeney grabbed my shoulders and stared me straight in the eye.

"You will be fine."

I found myself staring into his eyes with an open mouth, hating the way that he could hypnotise me with one look.

"H-how can you be so sure?" I asked faintly.

As if only just realising that he was touching me, Sweeney quickly withdrew his hands and took a step back.

"I just am." He muttered.

I gave him a small smile. "Thank you."

Sweeney gave me a scathing look, but didn't reply. I rolled my eyes, but didn't say anything either. It was a comfortable agreement; we both thought of each other as ridiculous, but didn't say anything in case an argument began.

"So what are you going to do today?" I asked him casually, leaving my bedroom. Sweeney followed me.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to stay and help out or what?"

"I was planning on going out."

This caught my attention. Frowning, I turned to face him.

"Really? Where to?"

"I haven't got anywhere special in mind." He admitted.

"Oh, ok. Do you want some money?"

"I have some."

"Right. Are you going now?"

"Yes."

"Ok. Have fun."

Sweeney and I stood in the corridor for a moment, both unsure of what to say to each other. I was about to lean up and kiss him, but then realised what I had said to him about rushing into a relationship.

Seeing the slightly confused look on his face, I leaned back and gave him a quick, awkward hug.

"Bye, then."

Sweeney stiffened as I hugged him, not making any effort to hug me back.

"Bye." He muttered, striding away from me. My cheeks burned as I leaned against the wall and listened as his footsteps faded away.

That was torture.

Trying to block those few minutes from my mind, I pushed myself off the wall and wandered downstairs, wondering when people would start arriving.

* * *

><p>"Smile!"<p>

I beamed at the photographer as I stood in front of my cafe - now named the _Quinn Cafe _- and posed for the photos. People were already inside, sampling the food and drinks, but the photographer wanted a few more photos.

"You always were a bit of a poser."

I spun around at the familiar voice, a wide grin spreading across my face.

"Mum!" I cried, running towards her and throwing my arms around her. Laughing, she hugged me back.

"Hello, love."

"I didn't think that you were going to make it!"

"Are you kidding me?" Mum asked, her accent becoming more pronounced and making me smile. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"Alright, we see how it is."

"You lumber us with the baby,"

"While you swan off with the new golden child."

I looked over Mum's shoulder, my grin broadening even more as I saw the twins and Bronagh.

"Hey," I laughed. "I can't help it if I officially own my own business."

The twins raised their eyebrows and exchanged looks while Bronagh, who was holding Ryan, snorted.

"Get you." She muttered sarcastically, but then smiled up at me. I grinned back at her.

"Yep," I agreed. "Get me."

Bronagh laughed and gave me an awkward, one armed hugged. It was difficult considering she was holding Ryan. Smiling, I took him from her and gave him a big squeeze.

"Hiya little man!"

"So are we allowed inside yet?" Ciaran asked.

"Or do we have to stand outside and watch everyone else enjoy themselves?" Eoghan finished.

I sighed, shifting Ryan onto my hip.

"I suppose that you can go inside." I said.

"Cheers sis!"

"Don't break anything!" I yelled as the twins went hurtling past me, rolling my eyes.

"So how's things going at the studio?" Bronagh asked as we strolled back to the shop, Mum having rushed forwards in eagerness.

"They're good. Our latest production is _Little Shop of Horrors. _How are things at school?"

"Meh, it's alright."

"Nothing special?"

"Nothing special."

Bronagh and I exchanged a sisterly grin as we entered the shop.

* * *

><p>The grand opening was a success, I was pleased to say. As well as my family, Theo and Anna turned up, along with a majority of the drama crew. Even Tim and Helena came.<p>

But now I was exhausted.

I lay on my sofa, wearing my grey tracksuit bottoms and a large t-shirt, watching crappy TV while waiting for Sweeney. I really couldn't be bothered to cook, and was debating on whether to play it safe with pizza or introduce Chinese.

The soft click of the front door told me that Sweeney was home.

I waited impatiently, still sprawled across the sofa (I didn't want to give him the impression that I had been waiting for him), as his footsteps became louder and louder.

"I'm in the living room!" I called as I heard him get to the top of the stairs.

Silent, Sweeney walked in, passed me and sat on the armchair.

"How was your day?" I asked sleepily.

"Fine," He replied stiffly. "How was yours?"

"It was really great!" I said happily. "Mum, the twins, Bronagh and Ryan came along, which was amazing. Plus a load of people came from work."

Sweeney grunted underneath his breath. Frowning, I sat up.

"What's up with you, grumpy nuts?"

He shot me a dark look, but I barely even blinked.

"So?" I prompted.

"I went for a walk."

"Oh. And that's bad because...?"

"I ended up in the park," He continued quietly. "And there were some girls there."

Sweeney paused, and I waited, not wanting to interupt him.

"One of them came and sat next to me," He began once again, his voice no more than a broken whisper.

"What did she do?" I asked, crawling forwards, anxiety taking over me.

Sweeney looked up at me with a horrified expression.

"She asked me to go on a date with her friend."

* * *

><p>First of all, sorry for the long wait - I have been recovering from a week of camping with 47 other prefects. Yes, there were 48 of us in one woods camping from Friday to Sunday. I am covered in bruises and I don't even know how I got a majority of them.<p>

Anyway, thank you CadyD, Spanish Sunrise, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Princess Taylor, Erica Wallace, Shelia Chiaroscura and polorbears 121 for reviewing!


	19. You Went From Troubled Teen

_**Chapter Nineteen  
><strong>__**You Went From Troubled Teen**_

_No one knew your name or cared at school  
>Everybody knows the kids are cruel<br>You went from troubled teen and became a beauty queen  
>~Goodtime Girl, Scouting For Girls<em>

* * *

><p>"I'm going out."<p>

Sweeney looked up at me, having been staring at the TV with a blank expression. Though he wouldn't admit it, I knew he was hooked on the soaps. It hadn't taken him long for him to get the hang of working out the TV, and it had taken him an even shorter time to work out how to watch re-runs.

"Where?"

I smiled. "I have a rehearsel."

"Oh."

"I would stay at home with you, but I kind of have to go. But the staff are downstairs if you get a bit lonely."

Sweeney shot me a dark look. It turned out that one of the teenage waitresses I gave a Saturday job to was the girl that asked him out in the park.

"Or maybe not."

"The girl is obsessed." He muttered, turning to look at the TV again.

"Sophia isn't that bad."

"No," Sweeney agreed. "She's worse."

I laughed, grabbing my jacket.

"I'll probably be a few hours, but I'll be back for dinner. There's some stuff for sandwiches in the fridge if you get hungry, though."

"I won't be."

I smirked. "Or you could go downstairs. I'm sure that Sophia will make you something."

Sweeney visibly stiffened. My smirk grew.

"Or maybe she'll help you...work up an appetite."

He turned and gave me an incredibly dark look. Unable to supress my laughter, I leaned over the back of the sofa and wrapped my arms around him.

"I'll see you later!"

* * *

><p>"Ok, guys, today we're going to work on the opening song," Tim announced, handing out sheets of paper. "It's fairly easy, so you would have to be an idiot now to pick it up."<p>

"What Tim means," Helena said quickly. "Is that he has labeled who is singing what, so it should be fairly easy to learn, as long as you practice. Yes, Niamh?"

"I haven't got a sheet." I said, feeling like a silly school girl.

"You can share with me, if you like." David told me with a smile. My cheeks burned as I smiled back and scooted next to him.

"Thanks, David."

"You look really nice today, by the way."

"Thanks." I grinned.

This was so...weird. Surreal, almost.

When I was younger, I never really believed that I would be here, the star of the show.

Famous.

"We'll take it from the beginning if you please, Kat."

Kat smiled as she began singing. I followed the lines, laughing as David began bobbing along to the music, dancing like a plonker.

My grin broadened as it was my turn to sing.

_Downtown_

_Where the guys are drips_

_Downtown_

_Where they rip your slips_

_Downtown_

_Where relationships are no go!_

Everyone cheered as I hit the high note, my grin widening even more.

This was where I wanted to be, gathered around a piano with my friends, practicing for our next performance.

* * *

><p>"Afternoon, Miss Quinn!" Sophia sung as I finally got back to the cafe, cleaning a table.<p>

"Niamh, Sophia," I corrected. "Not Miss Quinn, Niamh."

Sophia's cheeks burned. "Sorry, Miss - I mean, Niamh."

"How was today?" I asked. "It looks pretty dead."

"Oh, well, it was, like, majorly busy earlier around, like, lunch time, but the last customer has just left."

"So it was a good day?"

"It was, like, fab."

I forced a smile out, getting annoyed of Sophia's way of talking and adding 'like' to the middle of every sentence.

Why did I have to give her that job?

"Is something, like, wrong, Niamh? You look real stressed."

"I'm fine, thanks, Sophia."

"Oh ok."

Sophia turned to start cleaning the table again, but then spun around to face me again.

"You should be a model."

I frowned at her. "What?"

"Yeah, you should be a model! You're real pretty and stuff."

Well, her heart was in the right place, even if her head was up in the clouds.

"Thank you, Sophia. You can go if you want, I'll finish up here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

Walking around the counter, I opened up the till and took out a twenty pound note.

"Here," I said, holding it out. Sophia beamed as she skipped forwards and took it from me.

"Thanks Niamh! This is, so, like, the best job in the world! Bye!"

"Bye."

Sophia was humming as she left the shop, shutting the door behind her. I rolled my eyes, following her and locking the door, flipping the sign over to CLOSED.

Picking up my bag, I wandered upstairs.

"I'm home!" I called as I got to the top of the corridor. Sweeney didn't emerge or reply. I smiled. "And Sophia has gone home."

There was a brief pause, broken by a small click and the bathroom door creaking open.

I watched with raised eyebrows as Sweeney stepped out from the bathroom, loking around cautiously.

"She's gone?" He asked. I nodded.

"Just went home. Why were you in the bathroom?"

Sweeney looked slightly sheepish as he replied.

"I was pretending to have a bath so she'd leave me alone."

I had to hide my laugh as a cough.

"She was that bad?"

Sweeney nodded grimly.

* * *

><p>That evening, I sat on the sofa with a photo album on my lap and two others next to me, shaking my head at the more cringe-worthy photos and smiling at the nice ones. I didn't notice Sweeney coming up behind me until he spoke.<p>

"What are those?"

I jumped, automatically shutting the album as I looked up at Sweeney.

"What?"

"What are those?" He repeated.

"Oh...erm...if you sit down, I can properly explain."

Sweeney obliged, moving around the sofa and sitting next to me. I scooted towards him and opened up the album again.

"These are photos," I told him. "They're like a step up from paintings."

"I know what photos are." He growled.

"Oh, ok. Well, these are my photos."

"That's you?"

I cringed at Sweeney's tone of voice, glancing at him to see if he was sneering, but he seemed genuinely curious. I couldn't say that I blamed him; the photo was awful.

I had just started secondary school when it was taken. I was eleven years old, small and incredibly pale. My hair was tied back into a tight ponytail, exposing my thin face, and I was wearing a wide, fake grin, showing off my braces.

"I was eleven," I explained. "This was when I just started secondary school."

The second school photo was as bad. I was twelve going on thirteen. I was still quite small and pale, but my hair had been cut into a sleek bob that framed my face in an attractive manner. My braces were still there, but I wasn't as self concious about them.

The third was even better. I was in year nine, the year where every girl goes through the stage of incredibly short skirts, fancy hair styles and heavy make up. I was no exception.

"You look...different."

I laughed bitterly. "I look like a plonker."

I was wearing mild foundation to stop me from looking so pale, my hair tied into a bun with bangs hanging out. My eyes were heavily outlined in black eyeliner, my lips glossed with cherry gloss. The top buttons of my shirt were undone, my tie loose around my neck.

"Mum was so angry when she saw this photo," I told him. "She told me that I looked like a little tart and grounded me for a month."

I flipped the page over, showing him the last two photos.

"These were my last two photos at the school."

Sweeney examined them with mild interest before flipping the page, continuing to look through the album, pausing only to ask a question or to comment on a photo. I smiled to myself as I sat next to him and also gazed at the photos.

"That's my favourite."

I pointed at the last photo of the album, a photo of Dad and I. I was eleven when it was taken, a few weeks before I started secondary school. Dad was sat on his armchair, a tumbler of whiskey in one hand and his free one wrapped around my shoulders. I was squashed between him and the arm of the chair, my legs flung over his lap as I beamed at the camera.

"Who is that?" Sweeney asked.

"That's my Dad."

There was a brief pause as I gazed at the photo longingly. I could just imagine Dad stepping out of the photo and saying to me, "_Stop being dozy, Niamh, and go help your Mum with the dinner!_" He'd then wink, ruffle my hair and send me to the kitchen. I'd know that, after dinner, we'd sit in his office and work on his book.

I sighed, scooting away from Sweeney suddenly.

"I'd better start dinner." I muttered, jumping up and leaving room, blinking back the tears that had sprung to my eyes.

While I cooked, I put on the radio and lost myself in the songs, singing along to the ones that I knew under my breath. It didn't take long to finish dinner, and I was pretty pleased with how it looked. Sure, sausage and mash wasn't hard to make, but sometimes I burned the sausages and the mash went a bit lumpy...

"Dinner!" I sung, taking the plates into the living room.

The evening was pretty nice. We watched TV as we ate our dinner, I washed up and we watched a bit more TV.

"Well," I said, yawning. "I'm going to go to bed now. What about you?"

Sweeney nodded, agreeing that he was also going to go to bed.

"Night then.

"Goodnight."

I hesitated before leaning forwards and giving Sweeney a quick peck on the cheek. I don't know why I did it, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

"Night." I whispered before getting up and leaving the room.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night.

* * *

><p>Thank you Shelia Chiaroscura, Spanish Sunrise, CadyD, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, obsessivelyfanaticgw09 and Princess Taylor for reviewing!<p> 


	20. If I Lay Here

_**Chapter Twenty**_  
><em><strong>If I Lay Here<strong>_

_If I lay here  
>If I just lay here<br>Would you lie with me and just forget the world?  
>~Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol <em>

* * *

><p>When I woke up, the first thing I did was look out the window.<p>

It wasn't raining, nor did it look like it was about to start raining. I smiled to myself, plans already forming in my mind.

I got dressed in my favourite skinny jeans, a shirt and my warmest jumper, also pulling my coat out from the wardrobe. After I was dressed, I pulled on my beanie hat and fluffy socks and then left the room.

As he usually was, Sweeney was in the living room reading the newspaper with a mug of coffee in his hand, the TV playing in the background.

"Morning!"

"Morning." He mumbled, not looking up from the newspaper.

"C'mon, get up and get your coat!"

This caught his attention. His eyebrows raised, Sweeney looked up at me.

"Why?"

"We're going out for a nice Sunday morning walk."

I didn't bother adding that I should actually be going to Church.

"I'd rather not."

"Tough, you're coming with me."

Sweeney glared up at me and I glared back at him, my arms folded across my chest.

"I'm not giving up on this one." I warned him.

Realising that I was being deadly serious, Sweeney put down the paper and his cup before standing up and storming past me. Smirking, I got ready to leave.

Once we were both ready, Sweeney and I left the shop.

"I still don't see why we're going on a walk." He muttered bitterly.

"Because it's a nice thing to do, so grow a pair and quit complaining."

Sweeney shot me a dark look, but I ignored him as I locked the shop and headed towards the car.

"I thought that we were going to for a walk." He pointed out with a sneer. I sneered back at him.

"Just get in."

Sweeney climbed in and sat awkwardly, having never been in a car before. I climbed in next to him.

"Put your seatbelt on."

He looked at me with a blank expression. Remembering that he hadn't been in the car before, I leant across him.

"What are you doing?" He demanded as I reached for the seatbelt.

"Putting your seatbelt on." I snapped, grabbing the seatbelt. Looking up, I realised that we were very close.

Within kissing distance.

Moving quicker than I ever had done before, I pulled the seatbelt across his chest and clipped it in, wishing that my cheeks would stop burning.

Glancing at Sweeney, I saw that he was experiencing similar problems.

"Do you mind if I put on a CD?" I asked.

"What?"

I pulled out a CD case and opened it, showing him the disc.

"This is a CD," I explained, pulling it out. "It'll play music. Look."

I slid the CD into the player and pressed PLAY.

Turning to Sweeney, I grinned at his expression.

"Do you like it?"

"What is this?" He asked, referring to the music.

"_The Cranberries,_" I told him. "They're an Irish band. My Mum loves them, and it kinda rubbed off onto me."

Sweeney nodded and listened intently to the lyrics as I drove.

* * *

><p>"We're here."<p>

Sweeney stared out the window with a screwed up nose, his upper lip curling.

"We're in a woods."

"Your powers of deduction never do cease to amaze me." I muttered.

Undoing my seatbelt, I spun around in my seat and grabbed my bag from the backseat while Sweeney undid his seatbelt.

"What's in there?" He asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

After we were out of the car and I had locked it, I began walking, pleased to see Sweeney walk alongside me.

"I used to come here all the time when I was a kid," I told him. "I thought that it might be nice to come back."

Sweeney grunted and I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, I don't know why I even bothered.

The woods was lovely and quiet, the only sound being the leaves laughing in the wind while the birds sung. Grinning and feeling like a teenager again, I climbed onto a nearby log and began walking across it, my arms outstretched.

"I've always loved walking across fallen logs," I said, still grinning. "It's like I'm a tightrope walker!"

Sweeney grunt in response, waiting for me impatiently at the end of the log. I started messing around, singing the circus theme as I stepped back and forth, pretending to do tricks and cheering as I succeeded.

"Woah!"

I lost my footing, falling forwards as I lost all balance. I stretched my hands out, ready to catch myself, but a pair of strong hands gripped my waist.

"Have you always fallen off the logs as well?" Sweeney asked. I looked up at him and grinned sheepishly.

"Well, maybe a few times..." I admitted. To my surprise, Sweeney grinned back at me.

"I would have never guessed."

He let go of my waist and walked away in long strides, leaving me to consider what he just said.

"Hey!"

Sweeney grinned down at me as I ran after him and glared up at him indignantly.

"What?"

"That wasn't very nice!"

Sweeney didn't respond, only shaking his head as he chuckled underneath his breath. I scowled up at him.

"Remind me why I put up with you?" I asked. His grin grew. "I am being deadly serious here! Stop laughing at me!"

"I'm not laughing."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but couldn't help but grin.

"How is it that you can do that?"

"Do what?"

"Just...make me not angry at you, even when I'm angry at you."

Sweeney frowned as he thought, staring ahead of him. I waited impatiently.

"I don't know." He admitted, looking at the ground. An awkward silence took over us, and I was quick to break it.

"Oh well, maybe you can try it with Sophia. Then again, any look you give her will make her smile."

He glared down at me. "That isn't funny." He growled.

"Yes it is," I said, bumping my arm against his. "You know I'm only teasing you."

"That girl is obsessed."

"Yeah, but I can't say I blame her."

I froze, realising what I just said.

I didn't mean to say that.

Sweeney stared down at me for a moment, but didn't say anything.

"Erm, shall we keep walking? There's a really cool meadow up ahead."

I didn't wait for his reply, instead walking ahead.

* * *

><p>When we finally reached the meadow, which was empty, I lead us to a nice spot by the lake and opened my bag. Sweeney watched me silently as I pulled out a large checked blanket, unfolding it and placing it on the ground before sitting down.<p>

"Well?"

Sweeney looked down at me before reluctantly sitting next to me.

"Oh, don't look so enthusiastic." I muttered, reaching into my bag again.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Ta-da!" I sung.

Sweeney stared at the plastic box in my hands, his nose screwed up slightly and his brow furrowed. I rolled my eyes, peeling off the lid.

"Food!"

"Food?"

"Yeah, food. We eat it."

"I know, I just want to know why you brought it." He growled in annoyance.

"It's called a picnic," I explained slowly. "Have you ever been to one?"

Sweeney scowled, so I took that as a yes. Humming to myself, I unpacked a few more boxes and opened them, placing them in front of us.

"Help yourself." I prompted, reaching for a sandwich. Sweeney hesitated before following suit.

We sat and ate in comfortable silence. I gazed ahead of me, looking at the lake in wonder.

"I used to sit here with my Dad," I said quietly. "We used to just sit here and watch the world go by."

Sweeney turned and looked at me with an odd expression on his face.

"You miss him."

It was a statement, not a question, but I nodded anyway.

"Every day," I replied. "There isn't a day that goes by when I don't think of him. He was the one person that really...understood me, you know?"

Sweeney nodded silently.

I sighed, putting my sandwich down and leaning back on my hands.

"I miss him. I miss him, I miss Jared, I miss my family and I miss my baby."

My hat was falling down my forehead, so I took it off and ran a hand through my hair, smoothing it down.

"I guess that there are times when I want to just curl up, fall asleep and never wake up again. I don't want to die, I just want to...disappear for a bit. Until everything bad disappears."

Closing my eyes, I shifted my position and then lay down, resting my head on my bag. Forgetting that Sweeney was next to me, I simply lay there. The wind played with my hair, gently caressing my skin. It made me think of my child that was never going to be, reaching out with tiny fingers.

"I could just lie here forever," I murmured. "And never leave."

There was a brief pause, and then slight movement from the blanket underneath me. Opening my eyes, I moved my head and gasped when I saw Sweeney lying next to me.

"Sweeney?" I whispered.

Sweeney's head rolled to face mine, our eyes meeting. He gazed at me silently, his expression blank.

Neither of us spoke for a while, simply lying there and gazing into each others eyes. The sun shone above us, creating a golden arch just for us.

Not really thinking, I rolled onto my side and reached out with a shaking hand. Sweeney visibly stiffened as the tips of my fingers met his skin, but he didn't move from my touch.

"Just...trust me." I whispered.

My fingers grazed along his cheekbone, moving slowly. To my surprise, his eyes flickered shut underneath my touch.

I moved my hand, withdrawing it, but his fingers curled around mine.

He didn't say anything, instead stared into my eyes as our fingers intertwined. A small smile playing on my lips, I closed my eyes and sighed in contentment.

"_If I lay here,_" I sung softly. "_If I just lay here, would you lie next to me..._"

I opened my eyes and smiled at him.

"_And just forget the world?_"

Sweeney's eyes met mine once more, and though he didn't say anything, I knew his answer.

_Yes. _

* * *

><p>Firstly, thank you Erica Lovett, ShellyMay, Shelia Chiaroscura, CadyD, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle and Princess Taylor for reviewing!<p>

Secondly, apologies for the long delay; I've been rather busy with coursework catch up - last week of school next week! - and recovering for yesterday. My school have things called 'Deep Learning Days', so we have a day of no lessons learning about things like drugs, underage sex, college etc. However, my year were taken to the middle of nowhere for a nine and a half mile walk. My legs are still killing me.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter and expect the next one soon (hopefully!)


	21. It Never Feels Out Of Place

_**Chapter Twenty One  
><strong>__**It Never Feels Out Of Place**_

_I wake up every evening  
>With a big smile on my face<br>And it never feels out of place  
>~Gives You Hell, All American Rejects<em>

* * *

><p>The first thing that I did when I woke up was smile.<p>

Smiling sleepily, I rolled from my side to my back, stretching my arms out as I grinned up at the ceiling.

Wow.

Just...wow.

I grinned like a little girl, rolling around and kicking my legs in the air. I was so happy!

Suddenly exhausted from my outburst, I simply lay there, grinning.

Yesterday was...

Amazing.

Brilliant.

Fabulous.

Perfect!

The memory of lying together, gazing into each others eyes as our hands were intertwined replayed in my mind. I sighed contently, shutting my eyes.

Maybe, just maybe, my life was going to turn a turn for the best.

Maybe.

I wasn't sure though. From my experience, moments of happiness were merely those.

Moments.

I rolled from my back to my side again, hugging my pillow as I gazed ahead at the family photograph hanging on my wall. Maybe...God was forgiving me, letting me be happy.

I sighed, untangling myself from my duvet. Maybe I was right, maybe I was wrong.

But, either way, I was incredibly happy.

Once I was dressed, I left my bedroom and headed towards the kitchen, deciding to make a full english breakfast, something I hadn't done for ages. But I was in such a good mood!

Humming to myself, I slid into the kitchen Elvis Presley style (legs wide apart, arms outstretched to the sides) and immediately turned on the radio.

"_You say that I'm messing with your head. All 'cause I was making out with your friend. Love hurts whether it's right or wrong. I can't stop 'cause I'm having too much fun_!" I sung along to the song, searching through the fridge.

Jumping up, I spun around with sausages, bacon and eggs in my hands and kicked the door of the fridge shut, still singing along.

"_You're on your knees, begging, "Please stay with me." But honestly I just need to be a little crazy_!"

As the sausages and bacon cooked, I stirred the eggs and milk over the oven to make scrambled eggs.

"_All my life I've been good, but now I'm thinking, "what the hell?" All I want is to mess around and I don't really care about if you love me, if you hate me, you can't save me baby, baby! All my life I've been good but now...What the hell_?"

"Morning."

Instead of blushing like a fool, I grinned up at Sweeney.

"Good morning!" I sung.

"You're in a good mood." He commented dryly. I raised an eyebrow, still grinning.

"What do you mean?"

"You're singing. You only sing when you're in a good mood."

I tilted my head to the side, my eyebrows pulling together as I narrowed my eyes at him playfully.

"You're getting very...perceptive."

"I have to be."

"What do you mean?"

Sweeney's eyes met mine. "You're not the easiest of people to read."

I looked away to continue stirring the eggs, but replied "I could say the same about you."

Briefly meeting his gaze, I saw the questioning look on his face and smiled at him.

"I - "

The smoke alarm suddenly going off interupted me, thick smoke filling the air and making us both cough. Grabbing a tea towel and waving it around, I opened the oven door, releasing another torrent of thick smoke.

"Oh no!" I cried, seeing the sausages and bacon; all of it was burned within an inch of its life.

Frowning in disappointment, I took them out from the oven and placed the tray on the counter. Still frowning, I turned to the eggs. There was no doubt about it. They were also dead; I had left them five minutes too long.

Pulling the pot off the oven and also placing it on the counter, I turned to Sweeney.

"Fancy some breakfast?" I asked, no sure whether I wanted to laugh or cry.

Thankfully, Sweeney made the decision for me.

With a blank expression on his face, he walked forwards, straight past me, and looked down at our burned breakfast. His nose screwed up, he picked up one of the sausages and held it up.

I watched him anxiously, biting my bottom lip as he turned to face me.

"Can I pass?" He asked with a small grin.

I couldn't help it; I laughed.

* * *

><p>"Ok, it's official. I. Am. Bored."<p>

Sweeney grunted in response, sat at my desk as he tried to work my laptop. I told him he could have a go to satisfy his burning curiousity.

"What is _email_?" He asked.

"An email is like a really fast way of recieving a letter. We can one up for you if you like."

Sweeney didn't respond. I watched him with a smile as he stabbed the enter key a few times before slamming it shut and striding away from the desk.

"Please refrain from destroying my laptop, Sweeney," I told him, grinning as I got up from the sofa bed and took my rightful place on the computer chair. "I like it very much."

"Why? It's a useless contraption." He muttered, glaring at the laptop. I laughed.

"You don't like it because you can't use it."

"You are talking complete nonsense."

I smirked up at Sweeney, but he simply glared back at me as he walked towards the window, gazing out.

"Am I? Because, if my guess is right, you don't really know how to work a laptop. Being the typical man that you are, you refuse to ask for help, instead choose to pretend you disklike the laptop."

"I don't need help."

"That's exactly what I mean!"

Seeing the sour look on Sweeney's face, I scooted forwards in my chair and gently nudged his leg with my foot.

"I'm only joking." I told him. He ignored me. "Hey!" I nudged him again with my foot. "Don't ignore me!" I nudged him a third time.

To my surprise, Sweeney grabbed my ankle in a surprisingly tight grip and simply held it, still gazing out the window.

There was a brief moment of silence before I giggled.

"Can I have my foot back please?"

"Do you promise to stop kicking me?"

"I wasn't, I was nudging you with my foot. There is a difference."

Sweeney raised his eyebrows at me, and I grinned sheepishly.

"I won't kick you again. I promise."

He released my ankle and I let my leg flop to the ground, aching from being held up for so long.

"You so can't take a joke."

"What do you mean?"

I smirked as Sweeney spun around to face me, immediately annoyed and on guard. Still smirking, I stood up and began walking towards him.

"What I said. You can't take a joke. You're always grumpy. It's like you've made a solemn vow that you shall never smile again or something."

Sweeney snorted. "You're being ridiculous."

"Oh? Tell me, when was the last time you laughed? As in, laughed so hard that your sides hurt and you were crying?"

He paused, his eyes trailing away from mine as he thought. I raised my eyebrows, crossing my arms.

"Exactly."

Sweeney stared down at the floor with a small frown, immediately making me feel guilty. Sighing, I unfolded my arms and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey," I said softly. "I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just saying that you are allowed to be happy, y'know?"

"I know."

I removed my hand from his shoulder and placed it on his cheek, making him look up at me.

"I'm sorry."

Sweeney hesitated for a moment before pulling away from my hand, turning to look out the window again. I shut my eyes, prayed that this would be ok and took in a deep breath before speaking.

"Sweeney...I think we've been putting this off long enough now."

"What?"

"We've been tiptoeing around each other for weeks now, ever since we kissed. Yesterday in the meadow, I realised that I have feelings for you."

Sweeney visibly froze as I said this, and, though I wished I didn't have to, I continued talking.

"I know it'll be difficult for you, having lost your wife, but I've lost someone too," I pointed out. "I don't want us to do something stupid, like end up in one of those relationships where you're friends but have sex when you're a bit bored. I want to be in a relationship with you, and I think that we could make it work, but if you don't feel the same about me, don't pretend you do, because I don't want you to be with me if you don't feel the same."

There was an awkward silence as Sweeney stared at me, his mouth open but no words coming out.

"Right, I'm going to regret this, aren't I? You know, just forget it. I understand."

My cheeks burning and tears in my eyes, I turned away and heading towards the door, planning on hiding in my room for a couple of hours.

"Niamh,"

I froze, my back to Sweeney. There was a brief pause before he walked forwards and weaved his hand into mine. I relucantly turned to face him.

"You...have feelings for me?" He asked quietly. I nodded.

"Yeah." I replied shakily.

He took in a deep breath and then continued. "I will admit that I have feelings for you and, though I have tried not to, I have also thought of a relationship between us."

I could see how difficult he found saying that and smiled gratefully.

"So...want to give it a go?"

"Yes. I would."

My smile grew as I tilted his head up and he tilted his down, our lips meeting.

In that one kiss, all my dreams came true.

* * *

><p>Thank you CadyD, Princess Taylor, Shelia Chiaroscura, XTheOnlyOneForeverX and Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle for reviewing!<p>

The song that Niamh sings is 'What the Hell' by Avril Lavigne - an incredibly cheesy and yet catchy song!


	22. It Must Be Heaven's Light

_**Chapter Twenty Two  
><strong>__**It Must Be Heaven's Light**_

_But suddenly an angel has smiled at me  
>And kissed my cheek without a trace of fright<em>

_I dare to dream that she  
>Might even care for me<br>And as I ring these bells tonight  
>My cold dark tower seems so bright<br>I swear it must be heaven's light  
>~Heaven's Light, The Hunchback of Notre Dame soundtrack<em>

* * *

><p>When I was little, I liked to sit at the window of my Dad's office.<p>

He had a lovely large window seat, various cushions at both ends. It was where I would sit if I wasn't reading over his shoulder or sat on his lap, leaning against the cushions with a blanket over me if it was a cold evening.

I liked to sit and watch the world go by, but what I found the most interesting were the couples that I saw.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>Daddy,"

"Yes?"

"What is love?"

Daddy turns to face me, his expression amused. "Why do you ask, little one?"

"Because you say that you love Mummy and she says that you love her. But you both tell Ciaran, Eoghan and me that you love us as well. You can't love that many people, can you?"

Daddy laughs, getting up from his chair and joining me on the window seat. He crosses his legs and I automatically climb onto his lap, still gazing out the window.

"Do they love each other?" I ask, pointing at a couple holding hands.

"I should think so, Niamh."

"So if you hold hands, does that mean you love someone?"

"Not exactly."

"Then why do it?"

Daddy laughs again, hugging me tightly. "You still young, little one, you do not need to worry about things such as love."

"I'm not that young," I grumble indignantly. "And I'm not worried. I just wanna know."

"You want to know about love?"

I nod, huffing as my hair falls into my face. Daddy brushes it away for me, tucking it behind my ear as he thinks. I wait impatiently, wondering whether or not to tell him to hurry up. When I open my mouth, deciding I should, Daddy speaks.

"Love is a very strong emotion, but you can feel it in different ways." He tells me.

"What do you mean?"

"It's like this, little one. I love your Mummy, but not in the same way that I love you and your brothers."

I sigh. "I don't understand, Daddy."

Daddy smiles down at me. "You will one day, little one, I promise."

"But when?"

Daddy laughs and kisses the top of my head. I frown, unable to see what is so funny.

"You're so impatient, Niamh," He laughs. "You'll understand one day."

* * *

><p>I didn't really believe him at the time, thinking that true love was a myth.<p>

I guess that I never really thought that I would fall in love, much less fall in love with the wrong person.

And then with a barber not even from this century.

I laughed quietly; it seemed so ridiculous.

"What?"

I smiled at Sweeney, who was lying next to me. We were lying on my bed in silence, his arm wrapped around my shoulders and my arm around his waist.

"Mmm?" I asked sleepily.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I'm just very happy."

Sweeney looked down at me questioningly, but I simply shook my head before resting it on his chest.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you have feelings for me?"

I paused before propping myself up onto my elbow and gazing down at Sweeney, who looked deadly serious.

"Why do I have feelings for you?" I repeated. He nodded. I frowned, reaching out and placing my hand on my cheek, which he immediately covered with his own hand. "I can't even begin to explain why I have feelings for you, if I'm totally honest."

Sweeney frowned slightly, so I quickly spoke again.

"But I know whatever I'm feeling, it is incredibly strong and I hope that it never ends."

Without really thinking about it, I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. Almost immediately, Sweeney pulled me closer, his hands on my waist.

I pulled away, breathing hard, before we would get too carried away. My cheeks burning, I brushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Maybe...maybe we should calm down." I suggested, my voice barely above a whisper. Sweeney ignored me, pulling me down for another kiss. I let him, kissing him eagerly.

I don't know if it was being deprived of a lover for so long, but neither of us seemed to want to be sensible. Maybe it was because we were still yearning for our former lovers, or maybe it was because the excitement took over us. Either way, I wasn't complaining.

His lips left mine and followed the line of my jaw, then moving down to explore the length of my neck with long kisses that made my heart flutter.

"I thought we were going to calm down." I gasped, shivering as he kissed the most sensitive part of my neck.

"Do you want to?" He asked, his breath tickling my neck. I shivered again, looping my arms around his neck as I pulled him closer.

"Not really." I admitted.

Sweeney smirked, his lips moving up my neck again and meeting mine. I kissed him, loving the way his lips felt against mine.

"Wait!" I said, pulling away.

"What, pet?" He asked softly, his fingers brushing against my cheekbone. I smiled, my eyes automatically flickering shut.

"Ooh...don't do that," I whispered. "You're distracting me!"

Silently, Sweeney took his hand from my cheekbone, untangled himself from my arms, got up from the bed and crossed the room, stood as far away from me as he possibly could.

"You're not funny, you know that."

Sweeney smirked as he slowly crossed the room and sat down next to me, gazing at me silently. I cleared my throat, brushed my hair behind my ear again and then spoke.

"I don't want to have sex with you," I told him, and then realised how bad that sounded. "Sorry! Sorry, what I mean is that...I do, obviously, well, not obviously, but you know. I don't want to have sex with you tonight but I probably will in the...near future."

My cheeks bright red, I reluctantly looked up.

"Is that alright?" I asked meekly.

Sweeney's face turned from amused to pained so quickly I barely noticed the transition. He placed a hand on my cheek and stared deep into my eyes.

"Niamh," He whispered brokenly. "I will never force you into anything you do not want to do."

I covered his hand with my mind. "And that's all I will ever ask of you." I whispered back.

Hips lips twitched, as if he was about to smile, but he looked away, removing his hand from underneath mine and standing up.

"Wait,"

Sweeney turned to face me again, his gaze still broken. I swallowed, holding out a shaking hand.

"Stay with me." I begged.

He hesitated for a moment, staring at my hand. I waited, hoping he would accept.

Without a word, Sweeney took my hand and lay down next to me.

Neither of us spoke as we clung to each other, yearning for each other's embrace and comfort.

For the second time, we fell asleep in each others arms.

* * *

><p>I suppose that this chapter shows a different side to Sweeney; we forget that Sweeney is still human and despite hiding them, he does feel emotions, including love. Though it isn't obvious, there is an underlying emotion of love for LucyJohanna throughout the film and Sweeney and Niamh have bonded. I think that he is quite capable of falling in love again.

Thank you CadyD, Spanish Sunrise and KigekiRyuu483 for reviewing!

KigekiRyuu483: I chose Niamh because I have a soft spot for Irish names, having a fully Irish name myself XD


	23. Everything I Do

_**Chapter Twenty Three  
><strong>__**Everything I Do**_

_You talk about life, you talk about death  
><em>_And everything in between,  
><em>_Like it's nothing, and the words are easy.  
><em>_You talk about me, and you talk about you,  
><em>_And everything I do,  
><em>_Like it's something, that needs repeating.  
>~My Interpretation, Mika <em>

* * *

><p>"Ok, I'm off."<p>

"Where are you going?"

"I'm meeting Anna for lunch and a bit of shopping therapy, I told you last night."

Sweeney frowned, thinking. "Did you?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "Those were my exact words. I said 'I'm meeting Anna for lunch and a bit of shopping therapy' and you said that was fine."

"Oh. I don't remember..."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I've pinky promised and I cannot back out now."

"Why not?"

"Because Anna will probably put a horse's head in my bed."

Sweeney frowned again, confused by the reference. Sighing, I flicked through the DVD collection before pulling out _The Godfather. _

"Here," I said, handing it to him. "Watch this. You'll probably enjoy it a lot more than I do."

While Sweeney examined the DVD cover carefully, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Bye!"

Grinning, I picked up my bag and walked downstairs.

"I'm out for a bit, Carmen," I said to the girl at the till. "Will you be alright on your own?"

"Yes, thank you, Niamh," She replied with a hint of a Spanish accent. "I will be fine."

"You have my number if anything does go horribly wrong, but I'm sure that it won't. Bye!"

"Bye."

Leaving the shop, I headed towards my car but couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Frowning, I looked around the street until my eyes met a dark pair.

"Nellie?"

Little Nellie was sat on the curb on the street, the strange boy next to her, and the two of them simply watched me with blank expressions. I stared at them before looking around. Everyone else seemed totally oblivious to them.

"_He kept a shop in London Town of fancy clients and good renown_," They chanted quietly, but still loud enough for me to hear them. I stared at them, unable to move. "_And what if none of their souls were saved? They went to their maker impeccably shaved by Sweeney_."

Finally finding the ability to move, I backed away quickly. Hating the way their eyes stared into mine, I turned my back on them and hurried towards my car.

"_By Sweeney Todd, the demon barber of Fleet Street_."

* * *

><p>"Niamh!"<p>

I smiled gratefully as I crossed the cafe, heading towards the table that Anna had saved for us. She already had two drinks in front of her.

"Fizzy? Seriously?" I asked with a grin, taking my seat opposite her.

"Nice to see you too, Niamh. And yes, seriously. You look like you need your sugar levels raised."

"How do you know? You've only just seen me."

"Niamh, I am physic, remember?"

I smiled. "I remember."

"So, how have you been?" Anna asked casually, taking a sip from her glass. I raised my eyebrows.

"Go on, Anna, just say it."

"Is there any development with this new tenant?" She asked eagerly, leaning forwards. "Come on, I want every detail."

I laughed. I had told her and Theo about my 'new tenant' at the opening of the shop. The minute I mentioned he was male, they were all over me like a rash.

"Well, there have been a few developements." I said coyly.

"What? Tell me!"

I sipped my drink with a smirk, keeping Anna in suspense. She scowled, drumming her nails against the table as she waited.

Once I was finished with my drink, I placed the glass on the table before picking up one of the menus.

"I'm considering getting something to eat, what about you?"

"_Niamh_!"

I laughed, putting the menu down. "Fine, we're an item now."

Anna let out a squeal as she bounced up and down in her seat, clapping her hands together.

"Really? What's his name? Is he hot? What's he like at kissing? Have you two slept together yet?"

"Anna!"

"Sorry, but, please, tell me everything."

"Ok,"

So I told her. I told Anna every detail of our relationship, from the arguments to the teasing to last night. She hung onto every single word that I said with an open mouth.

"Shut your mouth, Anna, you'll catch a fly."

"I'm sorry, but wow. Just wow, Niamh."

I smiled. "You approve?"

"Hell yes! Jeez, why is it you get all the good guys?" She moaned.

"Anna, need I remind you about Jared?"

"Oh yeah, sorry."

"Come on," I said, finishing off my drink. "Let's go shopping!"

* * *

><p>After our long afternoon of retail therapy, which is what Anna called it when she wanted an excuse to buy yet another pair of shoes, I gave her a lift back to the flat.<p>

"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" She asked, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"I can't. Sweeney has a nervous breakdown if I'm out too long," I said, rolling my eyes. Anna stared at me. "I'm joking!"

"Jeez Niamh, I thought you were dating a possesive stalker or something then!" She breathed, glaring at me as I laughed.

"Far from it, Anna, so there's no worry there."

"Fine. But Theo and I are so meeting him A.S.A.P."

"Do you have to? You'll probably scare him."

"Yes, and yes. Bye!"

"Bye!"

After Anna left, carrying her many bags, I started the engine again and started driving.

As I drove, my mind wandered back to Nellie and the strange boy.

_The demon barber of Fleet Street_.

What did they mean?

An odd curiousity burned through me all the way home. It was as if the children were story tellers, telling it to me a bit at a time but leaving me wanting more.

Did I want to know more?

I couldn't help but feel pleased as I pulled up in my usual space by the shop and saw Nellie and the boy sitting on the pavement again.

Gathering my things, I climbed out of the car and made sure it was locked before walking to the shop, pausing as I was directly across the children.

"Come on," I muttered. "Do your stuff."

Again, they stared at me blankly before beginning to chant in unison.

"_Swing your razor wide, Sweeney, hold it to the skies! Freely flows the blood of those who moralize_."

Swing your razor?

Frowning, I took a step forwards. In reaction, the children stood up in perfect sync.

"_His need were few, his room was bare: a lavabo and a fancy chair A mug of suds and a leather strop, an apron, a towel, a pail and a mop_."

I couldn't help it. I crossed the road, walking towards them. With every step forwards I took, they took a step backwards, disappearing into the alleyway behind them. I followed the sound of their voices.

"_For neatness, he deserves a nod. Does Sweeney Todd_,"

"Niamh."

A hand grabbed my arm, yanking me out of the alleyway. I looked up, finding myself staring into the eyes of Sweeney.

"_The demon barber of Fleet Street_." I whispered.

Sweeney froze, slowly releasing my arm. "What?"

Frowning, I pushed past him and crossed the road again. He followed me silently.

Instead of going to the shop or the flat, I headed towards the office, where no one would hear us. Sweeney continued to follow me in silence.

Once inside, I walked to the large window and stared out.

"What did they mean?" I asked quietly.

"What did who mean?"

Sweeney came behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders, but I pulled away from his touch.

"Those children. Nellie and the boy!" I cried. "They were chanting about you! Why are you the demon barber of Fleet Street? What do they mean about raising your razor to the sky and freeing blood?"

He looked mildly horrified, his mouth open to speak but no words coming out. His eyes leaving mine, he turned his back on me.

"I don't know what you mean." He muttered.

"Yes you do," I hissed furiously. "Do not lie to me, Sweeney."

"Why does it matter?" He demanded, spinning around to face me.

"It matters to me because I have a right to know what you have done to earn the reputation of being a 'demon barber'! Either tell me now or I will find out for myself, and God help me I am not bluffing."

Sweeney scoffed as he turned his back on me again and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going? Do not walk away from me!"

"Good luck with your research." He sneered as he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Letting out a furious cry, I threw myself on the computer chair and started up the laptop.

Opening the internet, I typed in two words:

Sweeney Todd.

* * *

><p>I couldn't breathe.<p>

I sat on the computer chair, clinging to the arms as I struggled to breathe.

Oh God.

Oh no.

I was going to be sick.

The door opened.

Please, no, don't be him...

"Niamh,"

I couldn't move. I had to move, but I couldn't.

"Niamh, are you alright?"

I recovered control of my limbs, jumping up from the chair and backing away from him.

"Don't touch me."

Sweeney withdrew his hand, frowning.

"What's wrong?"

My stomach was twisting uncomfortably.

I felt sick.

"Go away!" I yelled.

"What have I - "

"I know what you did!" I hissed, still backing away from him. "I know what you did to those men."

Sweeney froze in realisation. I swallowed.

"So it's true," I whispered. "You...you killed all those men."

"I am not - "

"I should've known! You killed your wife, for God's sake! Oh my God! Oh my _God_! Go away! Get out!"

He didn't move, instead stood still, watching me.

"Don't come near me," I ordered, pointing a shaking finger at me. "Come near and I'll scream."

"I am not going to hurt you, Niamh."

"Ha! Is that what you said to those men?"

"Niamh, I would never do anything to hurt you." He promised in a low voice, walking towards me. I sobbed hysterically, backing away.

"Go away!"

I felt pathetic, cowering away from him as I begged for him to leave me alone, but I was so scared.

I fell onto the sofa, curling up into a ball and burying my face into my knees, crying and beggging. A pair of strong hands carefully lifted me, pulling me onto Sweeney's lap. I tried to protest, to get away, but he held me firmly. Eventually, I clung to his shirt, digging my face into his chest.

"Go away..." I sobbed.

His hand gently stroked my hair as his cheek rested on the top of my head silently. I wanted him to leave me alone, but I yearned for his touch and comfort.

As he held me, Sweeney gently began to sing.

"_Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around. Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around_," He sung in my ear, over and over again. It was his promise to me as he held me.

As he comforted me, one thought ran through my mind.

He promised that nothing would harm me, but he could kill me any time he wanted to.

And that's what scared me the most.

* * *

><p>Thank you KigekiRyuu483, CadyD, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle and Taylor Todd Riddle Sparrow for reviewing!<p>

I have changed the genre from mystery/spiritual to romance/spiritual after CadyD mentioned it (thank you for that) because, though romance will be a big component of the story, other things will happen.

Also, I have been working on a new Sweeney Todd fic named Heaven's Light. I have been debating on whether or not to post it, so thoughts on that would be very much appreciated.

The summary of the possible new story is: Benjamin was never sent away, Lucy was never raped. But a twist of events see to the transformation of Benjamin Barker to Sweeney Todd.

Do you think that is something you might find interesting? Please let me know in your review/via PM!


	24. Forget About The Sunshine When It's Gone

_**Chapter Twenty Four  
><strong>__**Forget About The Sunshine When It's Gone**_

_It's a new day  
>It's a bright day<br>Even when you stand in the dark  
>It's just that<br>You've been broken into fifty pieces  
>Today is gone<br>I'm the only light that you see  
>You need someone<br>I know all you needed was me_

_Everyday we wake if it takes too long_  
><em>Just tell me something new<em>  
><em>Forget about the sunshine when it's gone<em>  
><em>~Sunshine, All American Rejects<em>

* * *

><p>I woke up alone.<p>

My head was pounding from the few hours that I managed to sleep for. The absence of Sweeney made it hard to sleep, but the nightmares made it worse.

Sitting up, I ran my hand through my hair before tying it back, swinging my legs over the bed.

Jeez, I felt like crap.

Stretching my arms and legs out, I got up from my bed and grabbed a pair of jeans from the floor, yanking them on.

Once was dressed and ready, I pulled on my favourite hoodie before picking up my bag. I had already slipped my feet into my Converses, so I could just leave.

Passing the kitchen, I could hear the soft sound of music. I frowned and reluctantly lingered in the doorway.

Sweeney was listening to the radio as he stood by the oven, a cookbook propped up against a cereal box. He had a bowl and was whisking furiously.

"You don't like scrambled eggs."

He looked up, his eyes meeting mine. I stared back at him loftily.

"You do." He pointed out.

"I'm not having breakfast. I have rehearsels today."

"Oh."

We simply stood there in silence, staring at each other. Neither of us were eager to break the silence.

"I guess that I'll see you this evening."

"You'll be gone all day." He stated.

"Yes. Knowing Tim he'll want to keep us there as long as possible."

"Have fun."

"I will."

My Dad always used to tell me that a new day changes everything. It allows you to forget what happened yesterday and get on with your life today.

For the first time in my life, I didn't believe him.

"I'd better go."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Breaking eye contact with him, I shifted my bag on my shoulder and continued walking down the corridor. That had to be the hardest five minutes of my life.

"Niamh,"

I reluctantly stopped and turned around.

"Yes?"

Sweeney hesitated slightly before striding forwards and stopping in front of me, Gently brushing his fingertips along the line of my cheekbone, he placed a short and sweet kiss on my lips.

"Goodbye." He said softly.

"Bye." I whispered, pulling away from his touch. Turning my back on him, I continued walking, holding back the tears all the way.

When I left the shop, the first things I saw were Nellie and the boy.

They sat at the edge of the pavement, simply watching me. I shut the shop door behind me, staring at them cooly.

None of us spoke.

"You've ruined my life," I murmured, keeping my eyes on them. I knew they could hear me, for some odd reason. "I hate you."

Neither of them spoke, but a small, tight lipped smile spread across the boy's face. I stared at him.

He reminded me of someone.

Frowning, I turned away and walked to my car, keeping the boy's face in my mind.

Who did he remind me of?

I knew that it was someone I had seen recently, but I couldn't think of who it was

I got into my car and started the engine, keeping the boy's face in my mind.

Who did he remind me of?

Once I got to the studio, I cut the engine and crossed the car park. I presumed that I was one of the first to arrive; the car park was practically empty.

The door creaked loudly as I opened it, but I didn't really care. I was used to it by now.

"Niamh!"

I grinned as I saw Eddie, Joshua, Kat, Becky and Violet already there. The girls were sat on the edge of the stage, the boys lingering near them.

"Hey guys! Are Tim and Helena here?"

"They're in the kitchen," Joshua told me . "You might not want to go in there, though."

"That sounds rather ominous," I laughed. "Why not?"

"They are so loved up it is untrue," Eddie supplied. "I am up for a bit of lovin' any time, but _dang _they can't put each other down!"

Placing my bag and jacket on a chair with the other bags, I made my way to the stage and hopped on, sitting next to Violet.

"It was probably their anniversary last night."

"Oh great."

I looked up as the door creaked open again, unable to supress the wide grin that spread across my face as I saw David.

"Hey guys!"

"Hi David," The Ronnettes chorused, giving him wide smiles that showed off their perfect teeth.

"David, my man!" Eddie cried. He and David did that typical bloke one-armed hug, slapping each other on the back several times. Joshua and David hugged in the same way.

And then he turned to me.

"H-hi, Audrey," He stuttered meekly. "You're looking radiant today."

I smiled. "You're getting really good at that, David."

"Thanks. Have you been practising?"

"Oh yeah, all the time."

"You haven't, have you?"

"I've watched the film a couple of times."

David laughed, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Oh well, I guess that's sort of practising."

I grinned sheepishly, noticing from the corner of my eye that Kat, Becky and Violet were blatantly listening in. I was about to turn around and tall them to butt the hell out, but Tim and Helena leaving the kitchen stopped me from doing so.

"Hiya everyone!" Helena sung happily, her hand in Tim's. I couldn't help but smile.

"Tim, George isn't coming today," David told them. "He's had a family crisis."

"Oh no, what's happened?" I asked. I liked George; he was a lovely person and great fun to be with.

"Nothing too serious. His mum had an accident and has put her hip out, or something like that."

I was relieved. It would be awful if something happened to George. He had to be one of the most popular members of our group.

"Ok, with the exception of George, since we're all here, let's get on with this rehearsal."

* * *

><p>I had to admit, the rehearsal was incredibly good fun.<p>

Tim was in a very good mood, and didn't mind us messing around on stage. At one point, the Ronnettes were laughing so hard that they couldn't say their lines. The cast only had to look at each other in a certain way and we'd immediately burst into fits of laughter. Having the props out only made it worse; no one was used to them being there, and so kept bashing into them or tripping over things.

"Nobody move!" David cried, jumping out from the wing with the toy gun that he had to use in the scene between him and George.

"Oh no, Seymour's gonna kill us all!" Violet yelled. David ran around the stage, making gun noises as we pretended to die.

"Alright, you lot, stop messing around now!" Tim called over us messing around like teenagers.

"But Tim!" We groaned.

"Actually, Tim, I think we've got to go," Helena said. "Sadie has just called. Billy's been sick."

"Really?"

"Really. We'd better go."

Tim sighed. "Alright, guys, get outta here. Don't worry about the props, I'll come back tomorrow."

"It's alright, Tim," I said. "I'll stay behind and put them away."

Tim opened his mouth to protest, but Helena beat him to it.

"Thank you, honey, you are a life saver. I'll pop by your shop tomorrow and get the keys, if that's alright with you."

"That's fine."

"Hey, I'll stay behind with Niamh," David volunteered. "My mate isn't picking me up for another hour."

"Great," Tim said, bringing all attention back to him. "See you lot at the next rehearsal."

As Tim ushered everyone out and Helena placed the keys by my bag, David and I started clearing everything away.

"I really had fun today." He said casually.

"Yeah, so did I," I agreed. "I'd forgotten how much of a laugh rehearsels can be."

"I can't wait until we get our costumes. Helena's promised me a knitted tank top."

"Really?"

David grinned and nodded. I couldn't help but laugh.

"And are you going to pop the lenses out of a pair of plastic 3D glasses?"

"Already have. And there's sellotape in the middle."

I laughed again, shaking my head. "I have never met anyone so eager to become a geek than you, David."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?"

"I'm not sure, really."

We laughed again.

"Hey, help us push this counter backstage."

I crossed the stage and took one end of the counter while David stood opposite me. Together, we pushed it backstage and against the wall. Once we had, David pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"You texting your friends?" I asked. "Begging them to come and rescue you from the mad girl that has lapses of Irishness?"

David laughed. "No! I'm just checking the time. Is Irishness an actual word?"

"I'm not sure."

We laughed again. David tucked his phone into his pocket again before wandering towards the music system, playing around with it. I watched him in amusement as he pulled his Ipod out and attatched it.

"I love this song!" I said as Rufus Wrainwright's cover of 'Hallelujah' filled the studio.

Grinning, David approached me and held his hand out to me.

"Care for this dance, my lady?"

"Of course, kind sir."

Hand in hand, David led me through to the stage and twirled me around. I giggled as he pulled me towards him, placing on hand on my waist while weaving his hand into mine. I placed my free hand on his shoulder, grinning up at him.

"I didn't know that you danced." I commented as we spun around.

"I'm an actor, Niamh. I can sing, I can dance and I can act!"

I laughed. David laughed with me, pulling away from me until our arms were outstretched and twirling me back in, my back against his chest.

"We could do this during _Suddenly Seymour_." David suggested.

"Mmm, maybe."

David laughed and twirled me out again, sliding forwards to place his hand on my waist again.

"Have I ever mentioned how pretty you are?" He murmured in my ear.

"Er, no, but you can start any time you like." I joked.

"I'm being serious, Niamh. I think that you're really pretty. Beautiful, even."

I pulled away slightly, frowning.

"David, what are you - "

Before I could protest, David kissed me.

It felt...amazing.

Amazing, but wrong.

I pushed him away quickly, staring at him in horror..

"David, what the hell?" I demanded.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it was - I just - oh God, I'm sorry!" David cried.

"No, just...don't let it happen again, alright?"

Grabbing my bag and jacket, I left without a second glance at David.

* * *

><p>When I got home, the journey having felt like it lasted for hours, the shop was empty and shut. Taking my keys out, I unlocked the door and let myself in. I had already let Helena know that David had the keys to the studio.<p>

It was very quiet. So quiet, it was almost eerie.

But that was the least of my worries. My mind was replaying dance and kiss between David and I, even though I was trying to block the memory from my mind.

What did I do?

Sweeney was in the living room when arrived upstairs, simply sitting and waiting. Seeing me in the doorway, he got up from his seat.

"Niamh,"

I hesitated before striding into the room, throwing my bag and jacket onto the sofa. Once I had, I stood directly in front of Sweeney and stared him straight in the eye.

"If we're going to make this relationship work," I told him firmly. "There are going to be no more secrets. Especially about the past."

Sweeney didn't respond at first. I thought that he wasn't going to at all, but he eventually did speak.

"Do you want to make it work?" He asked.

"Yes. I want it to work."

Sweeney looked away, so I placed my hands either side of his cheek and made him look at me.

"Hey, forgive and forget, right?"

He froze, and I realised that I had said something wrong. Swallowing, I let go of his face and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"It's in the past," I whispered. "Forgive and forget."

Sweeney wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. His cheek rested against the top of my head.

"Forgive and forget." He repeated, but I couldn't help but feel that was all he was doing.

Repeating what I was saying.

* * *

><p>Thank you CadyD, KigekiRyuu483, xSilentDawnx, JDeppIsMyLovely, Taylor Todd Riddle Sparrow, Samantha Eleanor Lestrange, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Shelia Chiaroscura and Atermis Sherwood for reviewing!<p>

'Heaven's Light' has been posted if you would like to read it!


	25. You Could Tell That I Was Nervous

_**Chapter Twenty Five  
><strong>__**You Could Tell That I Was Nervous**_

_The first time that you introduced me to your friends  
>And you could tell I was nervous, so you held my hand<br>~Littlest Things, Lily Allen_

* * *

><p>So I followed my own advice.<p>

I forgived myself for making such a silly mistake and I forgot that it ever happened.

I didn't tell Sweeney.

I don't know why. After all, it was me that said there were to be no more secrets.

But I couldn't bring myself to tell him.

I guess that I was scared.

Scared that he would be hurt.

Scared that he might hurt David.

Scared that he would leave me.

I was going to tell him, but not now. I wanted us to take things at our own pace, and if that meant keeping a secret for a while, then so be it.

It was a stupid thing to do, I know, but I had to.

* * *

><p>When my eyes slowly opened, the first thing I felt were a pair of arms around me.<p>

I smiled sleepily, rolling over to face Sweeney. He was lying next to me, wide awake, and watching me with what I could only describe as an odd expression. When he saw me, however, his expression softened.

"Good morning." I mumbled sleepily.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Mmm."

Sweeney chuckled softly, brushing my hair out of my face. I shut my eyes and smiled again, loving the way his fingertips just made contact with my skin in a gentle caress before leaving again.

"You've been asleep a very long time," He told me. "I thought that I may have to wake you up."

"Oh yeah, we're meeting Anna and Theo today, aren't we?"

"Unfortunately so."

I laughed, playfully punching his chest. "Hey, those are my friends you're talking about. You haven't even met them yet."

"I don't see why I have to." Sweeney grumbled under his breath.

"Because, grumpy nuts, they're my best friends. I want you to meet them."

"We could just stay here."

I groaned. "Don't tempt me. They would kill me if I didn't turn up."

Sweeney sighed and cursed under his breath. I smiled, untangling myself from his arms and sitting up.

"We'd better hurry up, or we'll be late."

Grabbing my nice skinny jeans and a band shirt, I hurried to the bathroom. This gave both of us the privacy we wanted to change.

Once we were both dressed (I was very pleased to see that Sweeney made an effort, also wearing his nice jeans, a black shirt and a v-neck jumper) and ready, we left the shop.

I was pleased to see that the children were not there.

However, the way the boy smiled was imprinted into my mind.

I had to know who he reminded me of.

Realising that Sweeney was staring at me, I grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry, I was miles away. Did you say something?"

"No, I was just wondering what caused such a vacancy."

I laughed, taking his hand and leading him to the car. Once we were both in, I turned to him.

"Are you going to be alright?"

"Yes."

"You sure? I know it must be a bit weird for you, meeting new people and all, but I swear that Theo and Anna are amazing and - "

I was cut off by Sweeney pressing his lips against mine in a firm kiss. When he pulled away, I grinned.

"I was babbling, wasn't I?"

"Very much so." He agreed. My grin turned sheepish.

"Sorry. I guess that I'm also a little bit nervous."

"I'm not nervous."

"Not even a little bit?"

Sweeney shook his head. I couldn't help but wonder if he was telling the truth or being a typical man and disguising his feelings.

Smiling to myself, I turned away and decided that it didn't matter.

* * *

><p>When we arrived at the restaurant, I spotted Theo and Anna immediately.<p>

"A table for two?" A waiter asked snottily, looking down his nose at me. I glared up at him.

"No, actually, we're meeting friends. Oh, and there they are! Come on, Sweeney."

Grabbing Sweeney's hand, I pushed past the waiter and stormed over to the table that my friends were sitting at.

"Hey guys, sorry that we're a bit late." I said sweetly, sitting down and pulling Sweeney with me. He had no choice in the matter.

"Hello Niamh," Theo grinned. "It is always lovely to see you spreading the love as always."

"Theo, are you saying that you expect me to behave pleasantly when a stupid ponce of a waitor is looking down his nose at me? Surely you know me better than that."

Theo chuckled. "True, true."

I turned to Sweeney and grinned. He looked rather uncomfortable.

"Guys, this is Sweeney. Sweeney, this is Theo and Anna."

"It's nice to finally meet you," Anna said happily, smiling at him. "Niamh has told us loads about you."

I blushed as Sweeney grinned. "It's nice to meet you too."

"Hi, I'm Theo," Theo introduced himself, shaking Sweeney's hand across the table. "And don't worry about me trying to steal Niamh from you. As attractive as she is, she definately isn't my type."

Seeing Sweeney's confused expression, I smiled and weaved my hand into his under the table.

"Theo is gay," I explained. "He likes men."

The confusion in his face was replaced by realisation. I wasn't sure how he would respond to this, and I was quite scared for it. However, he surprised me.

A small smile on his face, Sweeney spoke. "As long as I know that Niamh won't suddenly elope with another man."

Theo laughed. "I may not want to be romantically involved with her, but I can't assure you that I won't elope with her!"

Lunch with Theo and Anna was surprisingly good fun. I was amazed at how well Sweeney seemed to get on with them. Whether he genuinely was getting along with them or he was just pretending for my sake I wasn't sure, but either way, I was grateful.

Halfway through, I excused myself so that I could go to the bathroom, and Anna jumped at the chance to join me. She didn't really need to go, but wanted a quick gossip in private.

"Oh my goodness, Niamh, he is gorgeous!"

I laughed, washing my hands while Anna sat on the counter.

"Yeah, he is." I agreed happily.

"You so have to have his babies. They would be stunning."

"And look like ghosts," I said. "Have you seen how pale we both are?"

"Huh, I never really thought of that. Would they be ginger or have dark hair?"

"They'd have dark hair, probably," I guessed. "The ginger gene is hard to inherit unless both your parents have it."

"Like you."

"Yep, like lucky ol' me."

Anna smiled. "But you get away with being ginger. It's nice on you."

"Thanks, Anna."

"You're welcome."

I laughed. Anna hopped off the counter and we left the bathroom.

"So, is he the one?"

"What?" I demanded incredulously.

"Is he the one?" Anna repeated.

"Oh man, Anna, we haven't been together for _that _long."

"Yeah, but can you picture yourself spending the rest of your life with him?"

By this point we had reached the doorway of the bathroom. Opening the door, I gazed at Sweeney. He was sat with Theo, who was talking eagerly while using the salt and pepper shakers to prove his point. Whatever he was saying, I had no idea, but I loved the way that Sweeney looked genuinely interested.

I briefly pictured Sweeney and I getting married, having a family.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Well?" Anna prompted. My smile growing, I nodded.

"Yeah. I can."

* * *

><p>Thank you KigekiRyuu483, Shelia Chiaroscura, CadyD, obsessivelyfanaticgw09, Erica Lovett and PurpleandBlackPandas for reviewing.<p>

Erica Lovett: David reminds you of Pirelli? I can assure you that it wasn't my intention to do that! XD

Unfortunately, I'm not sure as to when the next update will be. I'm going away tomorrow to Southend for a drama summer school and won't be back until Tuesday evening.


	26. I Can't Say No To You

_**Chapter Twenty Six  
>I Can't Say No To You<strong>_

_Under your spell again.  
>I can't say no to you.<br>Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.  
>I can't say no to you.<em>

_Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly._  
><em>Now I can't let go of this dream<em>  
><em>~Good Enough, Evanescence<em>

* * *

><p>The date of the performance was drawing closer and closer, meaning that I had to attend more and more rehearsels.<p>

And see more of David.

I made it quite clear that things weren't going to be awkward between us, at least not while we're rehearsing. For one thing, we were adults. We could put differences aside for the sake of the show.

And I didn't want anyone to find out.

The kiss scene was the hardest. I asked Tim, in private, if there was any way that we could alter it. I used the excuse that my partner was coming to see it and, even though it was only a performance, it made us both feel uncomfortable to know that I had to kiss another man. His repsonse?

It's a performance.

I rolled my eyes at the thought of Tim's scathing look as I asked, wishing that I could give in to my urges and slap him. But I couldn't, because he was my boss.

But it was very frustrating.

I sat on a chair in front of the stage, my legs outstretched and resting on another one in front of me while the Ronettes rehearsed their song _Some Fun Now. _It was their favourite song; they had total control of the dance routine for this one song, and intended to use it to their advantage.

So while they rehearsed, I looked everywhere but in David's direction. Out of the corner of my eye, I knew that he was watching me, trying to catch me eye.

Brushing my hair out of my face, I rose from my seat and crossed the studio, towards the kitchen. Tim barely noticed, too busy watching the girls to see if their routine would gain his approval. Glad for a few minutes to myself, I took full advantage of the space.

This space, however, was quickly invaded.

"Niamh,"

I breathed in before letting out a heavy sigh, still refusing to look up as I made myself a cup of coffee.

"Not now, David." I muttered.

"No, Niamh, we need to talk."

"Not now," I repeated through gritted teeth. "Not with everyone else here."

"Can we go somewhere after the rehearsal?" David asked.

"Where?"

"I don't know, back to mine?"

I snorted. "You should be so lucky."

David didn't respond, and I didn't think that he would. Still silent, he walked forwards and placed a hand over mine. I froze.

"Please, Niamh," He begged quietly. "I really want us to sort things out."

My eyes on the counter, I slid my hand away. "Fine. We'll go back to yours."

David's face lit up, but he quickly surpressed his grin. "Thank you."

"I'm not doing this for your benefit."

Looking like a lost child all of a sudden, he nodded and stuffed his hands deep into his pockets. I sipped my coffee and then looked up at him, confused as to why he was still standing there.

"Oh, sorry."

Blushing, David shuffled out of the kitchen. I sighed, shaking my head and pulling my mobile out of my pocket, typing in the home number.

Sweeney picked up almost immediately.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Oh, hello Niamh. Is there a problem?"

"No, no. I was just checking that everything is alright at home, really."

"Yes, everything is fine."

I cringed at the tone of Sweeney's voice, realising that my lie wasn't that convincing. Taking another sip of coffee for courage, I cleared my throat before speaking again.

"Listen, I'm going to be a bit late home tonight."

"Why?"

I flinched at the demand, hurridedly lying again. "It's just that Tim wants the rehearsal to continue for a bit. We're having a bit of a problem with the opening song, what with all the extras. Some of the younger members are still a bit confused, y'know."

My cheeks were burning as I said all this; the extras weren't due till next week.

"Oh. Well, have fun."

"I'll get something nice for dinner, yeah?"

"If you want to. Bye."

"Bye."

Unable to stop the guilty feeling washing over me, I turned my phone off and tucked it into my pocket. Feeling eyes on me, I looked up.

Across the studio, David was smiling at me.

* * *

><p>"Here we are."<p>

I didn't answer as David brought my car to a stop. I reluctantly agreed that he would drive us to his place; he had taken a bus that morning and was no good at giving directions.

Undoing my seatbelt, I snatched the keys from him and climbed out, waiting for him to follow suit before locking the car.

It felt wrong following David into his flat. For someone that was living alone, it was very nice. It was also surprisingly clean.

Seeing my silent scrutinisation, David grinned.

"I like to keep it up to a high standard, just in case I get visitors."

At this, his grin grew. I gave him my darkest glare.

"Believe me, I would much rather be at home."

He laughed without any humour, gesturing for me to go into the living room while he got us drinks. I reluctantly did so.

"You can have a seat."

I spun around to see David walk in with two glasses of red wine and a small smile. He offered a glass to me, but I didn't take it.

"I prefer to stand." I replied stiffly.

"Oh. Ok. Well, have a drink at least."

Again, I didn't take the glass from him. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"

"It's a glass of wine, Niamh. It's hardly going to kill you." David snapped back bitterly.

"And I've got to drive home to my partner who right now thinks that I am still rehearsing!"

A grin slowly spread across David's face. "You lied to him?"

"It wasn't for your benefit."

"But you still lied."

"What is this, David?" I demanded. "Are you going to pick faults in my relationship in hope that I will jump into bed with you?"

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"That is none of your business!"

"So you're not."

"What does it matter to you?"

"It matters to me because I care about you!" He cried. "I don't like the idea of you being stuck in a relationship where you're not happy!"

"I am happy!" I yelled. "I'm very happy! I couldn't be happier!"

"Then why have you lied to him?"

I resisted the urge to slap him, instead choosing to clench my fists as I took in a deep breath.

"David, you wanted me to come over so that we could talk," I said as calmly as I could. "You did not say that you were going to pick faults in mine and Sweeney's relationship, which actually happens to be none of your business."

"Sweeney?" David snorted. "You're dating a guy named Sweeney?"

"It's an Irish name!"

David laughed again, walking forwards with his arms outstretched. I immediately took a step back, bashing into the counter behind me.

"What are you doing?" I demanded, suddenly scared. David's grin fell as his arms lowered.

"I'm not going to hurt you..."

"Look, this was a bad idea. I'd better go."

Pushing past him, I headed towards the door. David, however, ran after me.

"No, wait."

I continued walking, but he grabbed my hand. I immediately stopped, hating it that my pulse jumped ever so slightly when he did so.

"Please, Niamh," He said quietly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

His fingers weaved through mine as he gently pulled me around to face him, his free hand gently cupping my cheek. His thumb followed the line of my cheekbone.

"I really do have feelings for you," He continued. "And I've had these feelings for a very long time."

Tears sprung to my eyes. "David, if you had told me this at that first rehearsal, I probably would've agreed to be your girlfriend. But I'm with someone."

"Do you love him?"

That threw me slightly.

"I..."

"I love you, Niamh," David whispered, taking a step forwards. "I really love you."

I didn't know how to respond. My mouth was open to speak, but I couldn't make any words come out. Tears of confusion sprung to my eyes as I willed myself out of this situation.

"I'm with someone." I repeated feebly.

"Niamh, think about it. If you were really so happy with this Sweeney guy, would you have lied to him about where you are?"

I didn't respond. David sighed, stepping even closer still.

"I'm not trying to hurt you. I just want to make you happy."

"By making me cheat on Sweeney?" I whispered, a tear escaping and rolling down my cheek.

"I'm not making you do anything, Niamh. It is totally your choice."

This was so unfair. I wanted to be with Sweeney so badly, but here was this temptation of David. But I couldn't give in.

Could I?

While I battled with myself, David gently led me away from the doorway and back into the living room, helping me sit on the sofa. I looked up at him.

"Say it." I whispered.

"Say what?"

"Say that you love me."

David smiled, gently brushing the tears from my face. "I love you, Niamh."

I couldn't help it.

I kissed him.

* * *

><p>Thank you JDeppIsMyLovely, CadyD, Erica Lovett, KigekiRyuu483, Shelia Chiaroscura, PurpleandBlackPandas, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle and Taylor Todd Riddle Sparrow for reviewing!<p>

Heaven's Light will be updated sometime tomorrow, hopefully!


	27. Wash Away What Happened Last

_**Chapter Twenty Seven  
>Wash Away What Happened Last<strong>_

_It's a beautiful lie  
><em>_It's the perfect denial  
><em>_Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
><em>_So beautiful, beautiful it makes me_

_It's time to forget about the past  
><em>_To wash away what happened last  
><em>_Hide behind an empty face  
><em>_Don't ask too much, just say  
><em>_'Cause this is just a game  
>~Beautiful Lie, 30 Seconds To Mars<em>

* * *

><p>The moment our lips met, something happened.<p>

It was as if something, something starved of lust, was released. We kissed each other wildly, breathing heavily as our lips and tongues danced a vicious tango, neither of us willing to allow the other to win or dominate.

Leaning forwards, I found myself sitting on David, straddling him. He allowed me to dominate him, his hands clutching my shirt.

Pulling away, David whispered one word.

"Bedroom?"

I nodded, pressing my lips against his once more. He stood up, still holding my waist, and carefully guided me to his room. Neither of us broke the kiss, however.

Once we reached the bedroom, David kicked the door open and pulled me in.

We fell onto the bed together, and he carefully lowered himself over me. I groaned in protest as his lips left mine, but gasped as they attached themselves to my neck. He pressed long, hard kisses against my skin, paying particular attention to the most sensitive spot.

"Jeez, Niamh," He mumbled against my skin.

His hands slid up from my waist to my shirt, his long fingers undoing the buttons. Goosebumps appeared on my skin as his fingers brushed against my breasts, bare except my bra.

His lips moved down to my collar bone and then my breasts, his hands running up and down my waist. I shivered under his touch.

"Is this what you want?" He whispered suddenly, looking me straight in the eye.

The image of Sweeney's face, looking at me with hurt and mistrust, suddenly flashed through my mind. What was I doing?

"I can't." I choked out, pushing David off me and scrambling up from the bed, doing up the buttons of my shirt.

"But, Niamh - "

"No, I can't do this! Not to Sweeney!"

David came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his lips against my neck. I shivered again, but whether it was from fear or pleasure, I wasn't sure.

"Split up with him," He murmured, his breath tickling my skin. "And then come back."

"I don't want to split up with him..." I whispered, tears springing to my eyes at the thought of being without Sweeney.

"Yes, you do," David insisted gently, his lips still on my neck. "Why else would you be here?"

"No, David!"

David jumped at the sudden fear in my voice, pulling away from me. A few tears escaped, rolling down my cheeks as I continued buttoning up my shirt.

"I'm not going to have sex with you and I'm not going to split up with Sweeney." I sobbed.

"Niamh..."

"Leave me alone!" I cried, slapping his outstretched hand away. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I stormed out of the bedroom to grab my belongings.

"Niamh, wait!"

Grabbing a nearby glass of wine, still full, I spun around and threw the contents over David.

"I told you to leave me alone!"

Recovering from the shock, David stumbled backwards, allowing me to storm past him and out of the flat. I slammed the door behind me and then ran.

I didn't stop running until I reached my car, fumbling to unlock it. Once I was sitting down, the door shut, I started the engine and drove.

I don't know how I managed to drive myself home, but I did. I even remembered that I had to get something for dinner.

Walking through the supermarket with a basket in my hands gave me time to calm down and think in a logical manner. Having something to concentrate on allowed me to block what had happened earlier.

I was also able to spend five minutes dithering on whether to get a whole chicken or just a packet of chicken breasts.

Without anyone by my side, I could do silly things like this. If Anna or Theo were with me, they would tell me to stop being so silly and think logically. Mum was pretty much the same when I used to go shopping with her.

In the end, I chose a packet of chicken breasts.

* * *

><p>When I got home, I was suprised to see that the lights of the shop were off. I checked the upstairs windows, but they were also off. As I drove past, I checked the room upstairs.<p>

Pitch black.

I couldn't help but feel slightly fearful as I parked and cut the engine, grabbing the carrier bags of shopping as I climbed out.

Once I was in the shop, I called out to see if anyone was in, but there was no response. I walked upstairs, surprised to see that every single light was turned off.

I checked every room; the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room and our bedroom, but all of them were empty.

Putting the shopping away, I left the shop and walked out through the side door to the courtyard. If Sweeney was anywhere, he would be in there.

My heart was pounding as I placed my foot on the first step. My mind was screaming, telling me to turn and run as far away as I could, but I blocked it out.

I reached the top step and hesitantly walked towards the door, freezing each time the wood creaked beneath my feet.

It seemed like a lifetime before I reached the door.

When I did, I kept my eyes on the ground as I reached for the handle and opened it, flinching as it let out a loud creak.

Sweeney was waiting for me.

I reached for the light, but, without looking in my direction, he knew what I was doing.

"Leave it."

"But - "

"_Leave it._"

I lowered my hand, allowing to rest at my side.

"Shut the door."

I didn't bother saying anything this time, instead doing so immediately.

There was a long pause before Sweeney spoke again, still not looking at me.

"You were a long time."

"We lost track of the time."

I was amazed at how easily the lie was delivered.

"You lost track of time." He repeated.

A sharp, scraping noise made me jump. Looking at his dark form, stood to the side of the window so that he was hidden in the shadows, I could see that he held something in his hands.

"I got us chicken for dinner," I announced, desperately trying to steer the conversation down a different path. "I thought that I could make a pie."

"What did you do?"

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

"At this rehearsal. What did you do?"

"We...we went through some scenes and...taught the chorus the opening song..."

Why was it so easy to lie?

Why was I lying?

For his sake or mine?

"You told me that the extras weren't due to join the rehearsels until next week."

Oh.

That's why he sounded so..._bitter _over the phone.

He snorted under his breath when I didn't respond. "You thought that I wouldn't remember, didn't you?"

"No, I got the dates mixed up - they came today and - "

"You're lying."

I flinched at the accusation. "What?"

"You're lying."

Sweeney stepped out of the shadows, allowing me to see him.

I froze.

In one of his hands was a razor.

I stared at the razor with wide eyes, suddenly unable to breath properly. My eyes flickered from it to his eyes, but his expression was blank.

_He was going to kill me. _

My body began shaking as my breathing became more difficult. Oblivious to my panic attack, he took a slow step forwards. I mirrored it by taking a hasty step backwards, slamming into the door.

_He was going to kill me._

"There's little point on dwelling on the past, isn't there, my love?" He asked, taking another step forwards. He wore a predatory grin as he advanced on me.

"No...Sweeney..." I gasped, barely able to breath.

"Come here, love," He said, outstretching his arms in a cruel imitation of a welcoming embrace. "There's nothing to fear."

"Please..." I begged.

"Forgive and forget, remember?" He continued.

"I'm not lying, I swear!"

"Life is for the alive, so let's keep living it!"

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as he continued forwards, knowing that I was going to die in the arms of the man that I love.

Wait.

Did I just...?

"I'm not lying!" I repeated. "I love you!"

Sweeney froze in his advance, slowly lowering his arms as he stared at me with a furrowed brow.

"What?"

"I love you," I whispered. "I love you."

Sweeney continued to stare at me as my legs gave way and I sunk to the floor, shaking uncontrollably. Tears continued running down my cheeks as my legs automatically curled up to my chest.

I don't know how long I sat there, curled up and sobbing pathetically, but there was a sudden thump.

Looking up, I saw that he had dropped his razor on the ground.

Letting out a grateful sob, I scrambled up. In my hurry, I stumbled forwards.

A pair of strong hands caught me.

Sobbing again, I flung my arms around his waist, burying my face into his chest. My hands clung to his shirt desperately, as if I couldn't let go. After a moment of hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me held me close.

"Come on." He muttered, gently pulling me towards the sofa. Once again, I ended up curled into a ball and sitting on his lap, clinging to him. He held me close, gently rocking me.

I closed my eyes, a few more tears spilling out, and curled into him.

"I love you." I whispered again. I only said it quietly, but I knew that he heard me.

There was a long pause, and I thought that he wouldn't respond. I didn't expect him to.

"I love you."

I froze, pulling away from his embrace slightly and tilting my head up so that I could look at him.

"What?"

He reached up and gently brushed my hair behind my ear before carressing my cheek with the same hand. I stared at him with a furrowed brow, feeling young and vulnerable.

"I love you." He repeated quietly.

Was he just saying it to please me?

Surely, after everything he had been through, he wouldn't have just said that, would he?

Somehow, he didn't strike me as the sort of man that would do that.

I smiled through my tears as I pressed my lips against his, kissing him desperately. He responded hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure what I wanted.

I decided to show him.

Releasing his shirt, I ran my hands up his chest and carefully undid the top button.

Sweeney pushed me away immediately.

"What?" I asked, stung by his rejection.

"No, Niamh."

Fresh tears sprung to my eyes as I stared at him. "You don't want me?"

"Not now," He whispered. "Not like this."

I tried to blink the tears away, but they betrayed me and rolled down my cheeks. He gently brushed them away, placing his hands either side of my face.

"I am not going to," He said in a low voice, his eyes staring straight into mine. "Because you are in a fragile state of mind. I am not going to take advantage of you in this state."

I nodded in understanding, wishing that I hadn't been such an idiot. I was going to have sex with him to try and forget that I almost did the same with David.

Oh God, I was a mess.

I stared at Sweeney in helpless silence, unable to form a coherent sentence. Seeing my distress, he shifted our positions so that he was sat at the end of the sofa and I was lying across it, my head resting on a cushion on his lap.

"Sweeney..."

"Hush," He whispered. "Sleep."

I was about to say that I couldn't, but his hand gently brushed against my arm in a soothing manner. As well as that, he began to sing to me in a low, velvety voice.

"_There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful...a foolish barber and his wife. She was his reason and his life, and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous, and he was_..."

I didn't hear what the barber was before I reluctantly drifted to sleep.

* * *

><p>Thank you Erica Lovett, KigekiRyuu483, xSilentDawnx, CadyD, JDeppIsMyLovely, PurpleandBlackPandas and Spanish Sunrise.<p>

I watched Sweeney Todd again last night after...ages. Too long. As you can probably guess, the final scene really inspired me for the scene between Sweeney and Niamh.

Also, a picture of David will be on my profile ASAP.


	28. I Love You, I Love You, I Love You

_**Chapter Twenty Eight  
><strong>__**I Love You, I Love You, I Love You**_

_For you, there'll be no crying  
>For you, the sun will be shining<br>'Cause I feel that when I'm with you  
>It's alright<br>I know it's right_

_And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score_  
><em>And I love you, I love you, I love you<em>  
><em>Like never before<em>  
><em>~Songbird, Eva Cassidy<em>

* * *

><p>"Phone."<p>

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I got up from my seat. "Would it hurt to answer the phone just _once_?"

"This is your home. You can answer the phone."

I couldn't help but laugh at Sweeney's logic as I answered the home phone. "Hello?"

"Take off your shirt."

"Theo,"

"How did you know it was me?"

"Because you're the only person who would ring up, say something like that and think it was funny." I explained, glad that the phone was a wireless one; I could flop onto the armchair and rest my legs on the coffee table. I grinned at Sweeney, who was watching me.

"Oh, right. Anyway, what are you and your other half doing today?"

"My _other half,_" I grinned as Sweeney raised an eyebrow. "Has a name, Theo."

"I know, but it's easier to call him that. So, what are you doing?"

"One moment," I pressed the phone against my shoulder and turned to Sweeney. "Have we got anything planned for today?" I asked him.

"No."

"No," I told Theo. "Why?"

"How would you like to accompany the gorgeous Anna and I to Camden Market this fine Saturday?"

"Camden Market? Seriously?"

"Yeah! We're still young!"

I laughed. "Yeah, but _Camden Market_? Seriously?"

"So is that a yes?"

"One minute."

Once again, I pressed the phone against my shoulder and turned to Sweeney, who was watching me with a mildly amused expression.

"Fancy going to Camden Market?"

"It sounds interesting."

After comfirming with Theo that Sweeney and I were going to join them at Camden and arranging where we would meet them, we said our goodbyes and hung up. Once we had, I turned to Sweeney with my hands on my hips.

"It sounds interesting?" I repeated mockingly.

He grinned back, standing up and putting his hands on my waist, sending electric tingles through my body.

"Is that what you deem an acceptable answer?" He asked teasingly.

"Oh, certainly." I said, sliding my hands onto his and up his arms.

Since last night, things between us were different.

Every moment we shared was different, more intense. Every kiss and every touch had more meaning than it did before.

I smiled as Sweeney pulled me closer, dipping his head down to kiss me. I kissed him back eagerly, standing on my tiptoes and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Come on," I muttered. "We should get ready."

We were both in what I deemed 'lazy clothes'. In my case, it was a pair of leggings and one of Sweeney's shirts.

"It can wait." He murmured, kissing me again.

I reluctantly pulled away and gave him a stern look, despite the smile playing on my lips. "No, we need to get ready." I scolded him like I would to a small child, such as Ryan. He smiled and allowed me to untangle myself from his arms, blushing as he watched me leave with a grin.

Was this what falling in love was like?

I couldn't help but compare to this feeling to what I felt with Jared. With Jared, I was constantly afraid, sure that I was going to do something wrong. Every time he moved his hand, I would find myself flinching. It wasn't by choice, but I still did it.

But now, I felt as if I couldn't do anything _wrong. _Last night...last night was a misunderstanding. He couldn't help it. He was...he had...

I shook my head, shaking out the memory.

Once I was in my room, I began searching through my wardrobe, frowning as I saw that it was half empty. Turning around, I grinned sheepishly.

A majority of the contents of my wardrobe was thrown across my bedroom floor.

Making a mental note to clean my room as soon as possible, I began searching for the quirkiest outfit that I could. It was tradition; Theo, Anna and I would dress in the strangest way possible when we visited Camden Market. Why? Because we could.

A wide grin spread across my face as I found my green skinny jeans. I had brought them when I was eighteen and thought that I had lost them. I guess that I must've packed them when I ran from Jared.

I had to wear them, there was no doubt about it.

Checking my reflection in the mirror, I stared at my legs. When I say that these jeans were skinny, I meant that they were _skinny. _They clung to every curve of my leg like a second skin.

And I felt really cool.

After I was dressed, my make up was on and my hair was brushed, I pulled on my green Converses. With a bag on my shoulder and a hoodie flung over it, I bounded downstairs to meet Sweeney.

He stared at me.

"Like it?" I asked, giving him a twirl. He grinned.

* * *

><p>"Niamh Olivia Quinn, look at you!"<p>

I laughed as Theo held me out at arms length after a hug, looking at me in mock horror.

"You look like a teenager again!"

"Oh cheers, Theo. You don't look too bad yourself!"

Theo was in his infamous blazer and skinny jeans combination, and Anna had gone for her dress and biker boot look. Out of us all, Sweeney looked the most normal.

"Alright, Sweeney?" Theo greeted him happily, holding out a hand.

"Very well, thank you. How are you?" Sweeney replied. I was surprised at how well the two of them got on, actually.

"I'm good."

"Hi, Sweeney. Nice to see you again." Anna said.

"Likewise, Anna."

We began walking through the market together, and as we did, Sweeney weaved his hand into mine. I couldn't help but beam as he did so.

It was fun, walking through the market. Sweeney had never been to anything like it before, and so would spend ages at every stall, taking in everything that he could. Theo messed around mainly, picking up things such as keyrings shaped like eyes and holding them to his face, asking if they suited him. Anna liked it because she could chat with the stall holders, blatantly flirting with them.

"I was not!" Anna denied, her cheeks turning red when I pointed this out to her.

"Yes, babe, you really were," Theo told her, putting his arm around her shoulders. "And you could do so much better. How's about we go for a drink?"

"Sounds good to me," I agreed. "Sweeney?"

"Why not?"

Grinning and chatting, the four of us wandered around before finding what Theo deemed to a good bar. It was one aimed at people our age, including bands. Theo had been there before, and told us that the second level was dedicated to a dance floor and stage for the bands.

Still hand in hand with Sweeney, I followed Theo into the bar, talking with Anna about what sort of bands we were going to see.

"Hey, Niamh, can I talk to you for a minute?" Anna asked, taking my free hand.

"Er, sure."

Confused, I allowed Anna to pull me into the nearby toilets. At first she didn't say anything, instead propping herself up onto the sink.

"What?" I demanded, sick of her staring at me.

"You and Sweeney!" She cried. "You've slept together, haven't you?"

"What? No! Anna!"

"What? Something has happened with you guys!" She protested.

"We haven't slept together!" I said, laughing. "You'd probably be the first to know if we had."

"Oh."

Anna looked rather sheepish, but I wasn't willing to let the subject go.

"What do you mean that something has happened between us?"

"Well, you two seem more...intense. When he moves, you move. He can barely move from your side, and the way he looks at you! It's like he'd jump in front of a bullet for you!"

"And that's a bad thing?" I asked.

"No, it's just weird."

I smiled. "I told him that I loved him last night."

Anna's mouth fell open. Immediately, she jumped down from the sink.

"No way! What did he say?"

"That he loved me too."

"Oh, Niamh!"

Squealing, Anna flung her arms around me and hugged me tight. I laughed, hugging her back.

"I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks, Anna."

"So, when is he going to propose?"

I raised my eyebrows at her, unamused. She laughed.

"I'm _joking_!"

* * *

><p>We hung around the bar for a few hours and then headed downstairs when we heard music being played.<p>

"I love this song!" Anna cried as the band playing started their cover of _Mr Brightside. _"Come on, Niamh!"

I had no choice in the matter; Anna grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the dancefloor. We were the first people to start, but years of performing had taught me not to care. Anyway, soon after we started, more people began to join us.

Sweeney chose not to dance, and instead sat and watched as Anna, Theo and I did so. But when the band announced that they were doing a slow song, Theo and Anna coupled up.

"Come on," I begged.

"No, Niamh."

"Please? Just this one dance?"

Sweeney glared up at me, but wasn't immune to my begging. Rolling his eyes, he took my outstretched hand and allowed me to pull him onto the dancefloor.

Placing one hand on my hip and weaving the other into mine, Sweeney and I began dancing. I was surprised at how well he danced. It was almost as if he had done it before.

"What did Anna want to talk to you about?" He whispered in my ear as he pulled me in. I smiled, waiting until he had spun me around before replying.

"She wanted to know when you're going to propose to me."

Sweeney looked mildly horrified, and I couldn't say that I blamed him. We hadn't been together that long, and proposing probably hadn't crossed his mind.

"Don't worry," I laughed. "I told her that we won't be getting married for a while."

"Oh."

"Don't sound too relieved."

Sweeney dipped me before pulling me up, holding me closer than was what deemed acceptable, especially in public.

"I'm not relieved, I just didn't believe that you wanted us to be married." He admitted.

"Well..." I said thoughtfully. Again, he looked horrified. Laughing, I kissed him. "I'm just teasing you."

Sweeney gave me a crooked grin, leaning down to kiss me again. It was a long, passionate kiss.

"But is that what you want?" He asked when the kiss ended.

"Not now," I admitted. "But I suppose spending the rest of my life as Mrs Todd wouldn't be so bad."

I grinned up at him. He grinned back, leaning down again. Before his lips were on mine, he whispered the three words I longed to hear.

"I love you."

And then he kissed me again.

* * *

><p>Thank you PurpleandBlackPandas, CadyD, KigekiRyuu483, JDeppIsMyLovely, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Erica Lovett and Comfortably Plump for reviewing!<p>

This chapter was a bit of light-hearted fluff to compensate for the scare Sweeney gave Niamh in the last one, but I promise that the next one will go back to the typical drama and angst surrounding Sweeney. Oh, and Jared may/may not make another appearance . . .

A link for what David looks like is also on my profile!


	29. You Wanna Die? No?

_**Chapter Twenty Nine  
><strong>__**You Wanna Die? No?**_

_Look at yourself, look in the mirror, don't you see a lie?  
>That you tell yourself again a thousand times<br>And the truth that makes us laugh will make you cry  
>You wanna die? No?<br>~The Poison, All American Rejects_

* * *

><p>When Sweeney and I got back from the bar, the shop was empty and closed. I didn't realise how late it actually was.<p>

"I don't know about you," I said as I unlocked the shop door. "But I think that today has been pretty amazing."

"Yes," Sweeney agreed. "It has."

Once we were in the shop and the door was shut, I spun around and kissed Sweeney as hard as I could.

"I don't feel like cooking tonight." I muttered when the kiss ended.

"Am I correct in presuming that this is a hint for me to go out and collect a take away of some sort?"

"Yes, you are very correct."

Sweeney looked annoyed, so I quickly kissed him again.

"Please?" I whispered, batting my eyelashes at him. He sighed.

"Fine. What is it you want?"

I grinned. "I quite fancy a Chinese."

"But that's a fifteen minute walk." He complained bitterly.

"Ten if you run," I teased, handing him some money. "Just the usual for me. And get some wine from the corner shop."

While Sweeney left, grumbling to himself, I grabbed my things and ran upstairs.

This was it.

No turning back.

Once again, I dismissed my religion so that I could have a good time, and today had definately been a good time. I didn't want it to end, not with a Chinese in front of the TV. No, I wanted it to be a night to remember.

The first thing I did was throw all the clothes on my bedroom floor into the laundry basket. Hardly any of it needed washing, but I was in a rush.

With that done, I stripped down from my jeans and t-shirt and washed my face bare. Afterwards, I pulled on my sexiest pair of pyjamas; a tight fitting camisole and matching shorts in my favourite shade of green. I was glad that I had shaved my legs and painted my toe-nails yesterday.

I brushed my hair and then began lighting some scented candles I had brought at the market, loving the way their scent drifted around the room, lingering in a pleasant way.

With that done, I tidied the bed and then stood back to examine my work.

I didn't really want a Chinese. I just wanted some time to prepare.

Happy, I wandered to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I stood in front of the mirror and washed my face with a cold flannel; I felt warm and my cheeks were flushed from excitement.

But was this the right thing to do?

I wanted to, there was no doubt about it, but what happened with David was still in the back of my mind...

I looked at my reflection again, and suddenly saw everything that I hated.

A slut.

A cheating slut.

A woman that went behind her partner's back and -

Footsteps.

I could hear footsteps.

Taking in a deep breath and putting the thoughts to the back of my mind, I opened the bathroom door.

"How do I look?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the ground and feeling shy all of a sudden.

"Like a dirty slut."

My head snapped up. "Jared!"

Jared was stood in the hallway, looking furious. His hands were tight fists by his sides.

"Hello, Niamh." He replied in a tight voice, his jaw clenched.

"W-what are you doing here?" I demanded, hating it that my voice wavered slightly. My heart began racing.

Jared snorted, walking forwards. I mirrored his actions by taking a step back.

"Don't act dumb with me," He growled. "I know that it was you."

"What was me?" I questioned. Jared let out an animal like noise and lunged. I tried to get away but he was too fast.

One hand tangled into my hair and the other gripping onto my arm, Jared threw me against the wall, ignoring me as I cried out in pain.

"I said _don't act dumb with me,_" He hissed furiously, spit spraying my face. "You remember my good friend Jake, don't you?"

I hesitated, and it was for a moment too long. Jared tightened his grip on my hair and pulled.

"ANSWER ME!"

"Yes!" I cried out. "I remember Jake!"

"So you'll remember his little line of business, won't you?"

"Yes."

How could I forget? Jake was the biggest drug dealer going. If you wanted drugs, you went to Jake.

"Well, a funny thing happened last night, you see," Jared spoke in a fast, low tone. "He was out on the job last night and I just happened to be with him."

"What has this - " I cried out again, interupting myself, as Jared shook me roughly, bashing my head against the wall again.

"Shut up!" He hissed. "You see, what happened was, and you're going to love this, the police came! They knew exactly where we were going to be and everything! Said they had a tip-off, and they got me thinking. Who hates me enough to dob me in to the police?"

"Jared, I swear that I didn't - "

"STOP LYING!"

I screamed as Jared yanked me away from the wall and threw me into the living room. I stumbled forwards, his hand grabbing my throat stopping me from falling over.

"Look at you," He sneered. "Who is it this time? Gay boy? The twat from that place you call _work_? Or don't you know?"

"I am not a whore," I snapped, finding the strength to push him off me. "And I did not call the police."

Jared grinned. "You always were good at lying, weren't you? You'd 'go to the shop' and come home pregnant!" I flinched, but he continued. "I bet you aborted that child just to make it look like you miscarried, because that's what you do, isn't it? You lie and cheat your way into everyone's lives and their beds."

"Why would I do that, Jared?" I asked desperately, tears springing to my eyes. "I loved you! I loved you so - "

"SHUT UP!" Jared roared, slapping me.

He hit me with such force that I fell backwards, tumbling face first into the mirror.

Pain hit me like a ton of bricks; shards of glass tore at my skin and released a torrent of warm blood, trickling down the side of my face. I crouched on the floor, breathing heavily as I clutched my head.

"Look at you," Jared muttered, walking towards me. "You're so pathetic. You're just like your father."

"Jared..." I whispered.

I was in so much pain.

"Remember how scared you used to get? Remember how you started to ring me when he got drunk? He was a dirty alcoholic. He was _weak._"

"Please..."

"STOP BEGGING!"

This was it.

Jared was going to kill me.

I waited, the world around me suddenly starting to get fuzzy. Black spots invaded my vision, and I didn't have the strength to blink them away.

"Niamh, I'm - "

Sweeney cut himself off, and I knew that he was in the doorway. There was a brief moment of pause before all hell broke loose.

"You bastard!" He roared, and I could hear a bang. Looking up shakily, I could see Sweeney had grabbed Jared by his shirt and thrown him against the wall. Jared didn't seem afraid, though.

"Believe me, mate, I've done you a favour."

"Get out!"

Jared laughed as Sweeney threw him out the room and shoved him down the corridor. I waited, trying to clear the fuzziness from my vision.

"Niamh,"

I could barely register Sweeney rushing forwards and crouching next to me, gently placing his hand under my chin and lifting my head. With slow, careful movements, he removed my hand from my head.

"Call Theo," I whispered. "He'll take us to the hospital."

"But - "

"Just do it."

While Sweeney did so, I shakily stood up, clinging to the coffee table for support. Tears sprung to my eyes as I saw my reflection in the shattered mirror.

"He'll be here soon."

I nodded. Sweeney guided me to the sofa, wrapping a nearby blanket around me as I shivered.

* * *

><p>"I feel like Frankenstein."<p>

"How so?" Theo asked.

"I'm all stitched up." I explained, gesturing to my head. Theo laughed.

"Frankenstein's _monster,_" Sweeney corrected gently. "Frankenstein was the creator. It's a - "

"Common misconception, I know," I finished. "A bit like people thinking the tower is Big Ben, when it's actually the bell inside."

I was lying on the hospital bed while Sweeney and Theo sat either side. I had to be kept in over night, but I wasn't too fussed.

"Right, we'd better get back, mate," Theo announced, getting up from his chair. "But we'll be back in the morning with your clothes."

I smiled. "Thank you, Theo."

"No problem, babe," Theo bent down and kissed my brow. "I'll go get the car started," He told Sweeney. "Come out when you're ready."

Waving goodbye, Theo left the room. I looked at Sweeney.

"Lie down with me."

Sweeney was hesitant to do so, but obliged. Sighing, I rested my head against his shoulder and weaved my hand into his.

"Are you alright?" He asked softly.

"Yeah. I told the police everything so they'll sort him out. Jared won't be bothering us any time soon."

"I'm not concerned about us, I'm concerned about you."

I laughed without any humour. "Don't be. I'm as tough as old boots, I am."

Sweeney's lips tilted into a small smile, and there was a brief pause, in which we both simply stared up at the ceiling.

"Marry me."

Sweeney stiffened. "What?"

Keeping my eyes on the ceiling, I repeated what I had said. "Marry me."

He stared at me, his brow furrowed slightly. I looked up at him with a small smile.

"Marry me," I repeated for a third time. "Tonight has made me realise that life is way too short, and I don't want to miss a thing. Let's get married."

"No."

I blinked. "I proposed and you're saying _no_?"

What was it with this guy constantly rejecting me?

"You're not thinking straight." Sweeney said.

"Yes I am. Marry me."

"No."

"Why not?" I demanded, sounding like a sulking child.

"Several reasons. You're tired and in shock, so you're not thinking straight, as I first said. You're only saying it to compensate for tonight, trying to make a good thing out of a bad one," Sweeney gave me a crooked grin. "And we haven't known each other long enough."

"I think that you're talking a load of shit."

"Think that if you will, but I won't marry you."

"You _won't_?" I repeated, sitting up and staring at him. He also sat up and placed his hands either side of my face.

"Not now," He murmured. "Not like this."

I sighed. "But, under different circumstances, would you?"

"Under the circumstance that we have known each other for a greater length of time, yes."

"Right, I'll remember that in six months."

Sweeney smiled. "Go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

Not giving me a chance to reply, Sweeney kissed me and got up from the bed. I watched him cross the room with a scowl.

"Goodnight, Niamh."

"Night."

Sweeney turned to leave, and when he did, I quickly called after him.

"I love you."

At first, I thought that he didn't hear me, but then he appeared in the doorway of my room again.

"I love you too."

I smiled at him, waving as he turned to leave once more. Yawning, I climbed under the covers and curled up.

That night, I dreamed of weddings.

* * *

><p>Thank you to Erica Lovett, PurpleandBlackPandas, KigekiRyuu483, CadyD, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Spanish Sunrise, xSilentDawnx, The Brightsider and Shelia Chiaroscura for reviewing!<p>

Yes, I did steal some Twilight dialogue in the last chapter . . . I don't really like the books, and hate the movies, but the conversation between Bella and her mum was quite a nice one, and I couldn't resist having something similar in my story!


	30. The One That You Loathe

_**Chapter Thirty  
><strong>__**The One That You Loathe**_

_If it looks like I'm laughing  
><em>_I'm really just asking to leave_

_This alone, you're in time for the show  
><em>_You're the one that I need  
><em>_I'm the one that you loathe  
><em>_~The Sharpest of Lives, My Chemical Romance_

* * *

><p>That morning, I didn't feel as happy.<p>

I woke up early, and waited impatiently for Theo to pick me up. I couldn't call him, because I didn't have my mobile, which weren't allowed in hospitals anyway, and I had no money to use those God damn pay phones. So I had to sit and wait.

When they finally did arrive, I wasn't happy with his choice of clothing.

"For God's sake, Theo, you could've brought me my _good _jeans...where the hell did you find _this _shirt? Ugh, this socks have holes in them!"

"I'm sorry that you're outfit isn't up to your standards, Niamh, but I did not appreciate having to scramble through your dirty washing basket because your wardrobe was empty."

I blushed, glad that neither of them could see me through the curtain put up for my privacy.

"That's not the point, and you know it." I grumbled, pulling on the jumper Theo had brought with him. It was my favourite jumper, far too big for me and knitted by Mum. She'd used my favourite shade of green to knit it and gave it to me before I left to move in with Jared.

Pushing back the curtain, I sat back down on the bed and tied my hair back into a messy ponytail.

"What now?"

"We wait for the nurse to come and tell you that all is well for you to come home."

"Great."

Falling back against the pillows, I stared up at the ceiling.

"Theo,"

"If you're going to have another go at me, you can make your own fucking way home."

"Shut up, bitchy Queen," I snapped back, feeling grouchy. "And let me ask you the question."

"No. I'm not going to marry you."

I let out a frustrated cry, bolting up and jumping off the bed. "Seriously?" I demanded. "What is it with you guys and bloody _rejecting _me!"

"Babe, I was joking."

Tears of anger had sprung to my eyes, so I spun around to face the window, folding my arms across my chest.

"I wasn't." I muttered under my breath.

"Niamh?"

Theo got up from his seat and crossed the room, joining me at the window. Placing a hand under my chin, he gently raised my head so that I was looking into his concerned eyes.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked softly. I sighed, pulling away and brushing the tears out of my eyes.

"I think that I may have done something rather silly last night."

"Nothing out of the ordinary then."

"Theo, please."

"Sorry, babe. Carry on."

I swallowed, wrapping my arms around myself as I adjusted my position, standing so that my back was against the wall for support.

"I proposed to Sweeney last night."

"What? Seriously?" Theo questioned.

"Yeah, seriously." I confirmed.

"So, what happened? Are you two getting married?"

"No."

Theo looked appalled as he stepped backwards and sat down on the bed to stare at me. For some reason, that didn't make me feel any better.

"Are you telling me that he rejected your proposal?" He asked.

"He said all this stuff about how I was tired and in shock and we haven't known each other for long enough," I said, shrugging. "I just don't get the guy!"

"Well, Niamh, are you ready for marriage?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"I'm just worried about you," Theo admitted, suddenly sounding very grown up. "You can't jump into bed with a man and then expect him to marry you. Things don't work out like that."

"_We're not sleeping together_!" I cried desperately. "Jeez, Theo, I'm a big girl now. You don't have to look after me."

"Look, I know that you're twenty one and you have your own business and you have a job, blah blah blah, but you're still quite young. I don't think that marriage is the best option at the moment."

"How am I _young_, Theo? I'm an _adult._"

Theo sighed. "But you're not grown up, are you?" He countered. "Face it, Niamh, you had a crappy childhood and you're still acting like a teenager to make up for it."

"My childhood wasn't - "

"Don't sugarcoat it, Niamh," He interupted firmly. "You're going to have to admit it sooner or later. Your family was a mess."

I didn't answer, breaking eye contact with him.

Was my family a mess?

"Dad was an alcoholic," I said quietly, finally admitting it to myself. "But that didn't make him a bad person."

"No," He agreed. "What made him a bad person was that he was destroying your family. You were just too young to notice."

I didn't speak.

Did I not notice?

Did I not notice that Mum and Dad were very polite to each other, almost as if they were strangers?

Did I not notice how Mum would flinch every time Dad raised a hand?

Did I not notice how much time Dad spent in his office?

But it wasn't just them, was it? Ciaran and Eoghan spent less and less time at home and, looking back now, they got in trouble a lot with the police.

Mum and Dad were just too self absorbed to care.

"It was your Dad that made you start drinking, Niamh," Theo told me, breaking my thoughts. "Remember? Remember how you came to school when you were _eleven _with a hangover because you spent the night in your Dad's office drinking his whiskey the night of the funeral?"

I nodded silently. I did remember.

"So how does this affect me asking Sweeney to marry me?" I asked.

"You're desperate to make everything right as soon as possible," He explained quietly. "You want to show the world that you're fine, even though you're not."

Thankfully, the nurse came in with the paperwork before he could say anymore.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for the lift, Theo."<p>

I unbuckled my seatbelt, but Theo's hand grabbing mine stopped me from bolting out the car.

"Are you sure that you can handle this?" He asked. "I'm sure that they'll understand if you want a day off."

"I have to do this." I muttered, taking my hand from his and climbing out of the car.

My heart was pounding as I approached the studio. I could hear the music, Tim shouting, people laughing...

I paused outside the door, biting my lip.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

Theo's words were rolling around my mind, but I blocked them out. Taking in a deep breath, I opened the studio door.

"Niamh!"

I supressed a groan as Tim shouted my name, striding towards me. My back was turned towards him, so that I could shut the door, but I knew that I had to turn around soon.

Deciding to get it over and done with, I turned to face him.

"Yes, Tim?"

Tim froze as he saw my stitches, bold against my pale skin. I watched as he ran his eyes along the length of the cut, his eyebrows pulling together.

"Niamh," He finally spoke. "What the _hell _happened to you?"

"Can we talk in private?" I asked quietly, noticing that everyone was turning to stare at me.

Especially David.

"Yes, yes, of course," Tim nodded. "You lot, take a break, but stay away from the kitchen!"

I smiled gratefully as I followed Tim to the kitchen, shutting the door behind me.

"Can I have a coffee first? I'm desperate and the hospital ones taste awful."

"Yeah, sure."

While I made myself a cup of coffee, Tim watched my every move with a frown. I leaned against the counter and faced him with a cup in my hand.

"Jared," Was all I said.

"That little scrout that came storming in here?"

I nodded. "He broke into the shop last night while I was alone. He was...angry, to say the least."

"And he attacked you?"

"He threw me around a bit, shouted at me, and then pushed me into the mirror."

Tim's eyes widened, but he quickly composed himself. "So that's what the stitches are for."

"Yep. They also kinda stop my brain from falling out."

Tim and I chuckled weakly, though neither of us could find any humour of the situation.

"And I am covered in bruises."

"Shit, Niamh," Tim muttered. "I hope that you told the police this time?"

"I did," I said. "I guess I'm a bit tired of pretending to be Batman. I can't fight everyone on my own."

"You're suck a dork, Niamh."

"Thank you, Tim."

Tim and I shared a smile.

"Come on, otherwise that lot will forget everything."

I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I stepped out with Tim, but I ignored them. Tucking my hair behind my ears defiantly, I walked onto the stage, grabbed a spare script and waited for instructions.

* * *

><p>"Alright, guys, we're finished."<p>

I sighed and put the script away, relieved that the rehearsal was over. I hadn't been able to concentrate, and acting all lovey-dovey with David was not ideal.

Walking off stage, I said goodbye to everyone and left the studio, ready to walk home.

"Hey, Niamh!"

I recognized David's voice immediately, but I didn't stop. Instead, I continued to walk across the car park as if I hadn't heard him.

"Niamh, wait!"

Still, I carried on walking.

"Niamh!"

His hand wrapped itself around my wrist, and I immediately jerked away.

"Don't do that." I hissed furiously, turning my back on him and continuing to walk.

"Niamh, wait, what happened to your face?"

"It is none of your business, David."

"You told Tim."

"He's like family to me. Of course I told him."

"Yeah, but we're close, aren't we? You can trust me."

I spun around to face him. "No, David, that's the thing. I can't trust you! I _did _trust you, but then you started trying to get into my pants!"

"But, Niamh - "

"Leave me alone, David," I said. "Just leave me alone. I'm really not in the mood."

"But I love you, Niamh."

He sounded so _pathetic, _as if he needed me. Snorting, I spun around to face him.

"I love you," He repeated desperately. "I love you so much and I want to be with you."

I laughed with humour, shaking my head in annoyance.

"Get the hint, David. I. Don't. Love. You. We were a mistake, and a stupid one that I have erased from my mind. Move on and obsess over another girl."

Without another word, I spun around and stormed off.

* * *

><p>When I got to the shop, I was relieved to see that it was empty.<p>

I unlocked the door and shut it behind me, not bothering to call out to see if anyone was home. As usual, I checked upstairs first, and I couldn't say that I wasn't surprised to find it empty.

So I went to the office.

Peeking in through the glass of the door, I saw that Sweeney was inside.

He was pacing.

I stood and watched as he paced, forgetting everything.

Just seeing him was enough.

With a small smile, I opened the door.

Sweeney spun around to face me immediately.

"Niamh,"

I smiled, suddenly feeling shy. "I'm back." I announced.

"So I see."

I couldn't think of anything to say, so I simply contented myself by rushing forwards and hugging him.

I don't know how long we stood in each other's embrace, but I did know one thing.

I didn't want to let go.

* * *

><p>Thank you Shelia Chiaroscura, CadyD, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle and PurpleandBlackPandas for reviewing!<p>

This issue has come up quite a lot, and I'd like to say a few things about it.

Sweeney isn't a ghost.

Sweeney is very much alive again; Niamh taking him from the bakehouse and offering him a home, etc, means that he is alive.

And, for the purposes of the story, I've altered Sweeney's age. As CadyD pointed out, Sweeney was probably in his forties - Johnny Depp being forty four at the time of filming - but in this story he is in his early thirties, thus making the age gap between him and Niamh slightly more acceptable.


	31. Lay Down A List Of What Is Wrong

_**Chapter Thirty One  
><strong>__**Lay Down A List Of What Is Wrong**_

_Lay down a list of what is wrong  
>The things you've told him all along<br>~How To Save A Life, The Fray_

* * *

><p>I had been avoiding Church.<p>

Ever since I shouted at Father John, I'd been avoiding going at all costs, too ashamed to face him.

But now I had to.

Theo was right; I was constantly acting like a teenager, and I had to grow up. Sooner rather than later.

So I went to the service on Sunday.

Sweeney stayed at home; I'd asked him to do so. This was something that I had to face alone.

Bringing the car to a stop, I took in a deep breath and quickly studied my reflection. I was dressed in what I hoped to be a sensible manner. Instead of my skinny jeans and a band shirt, I chose my sensible black trousers and my green blouse, the same outfit I wore to viewing the shop.

Just so that I felt a bit more like myself, I wore my Converses.

My eyes lingered on my stitches, my stomach clenching. I tied my hair back into a bun, but it exposed my face and therefore my stitches.

Oh well, let people stare.

Putting away my mirror, I grabbed my bag and climbed out of the car. People were already walking into Church, the bell ringing. Taking in a deep breath, I joined the crowd and took a seat right at the back.

I know that Father John spotted me immediately, but he continued his sermon in a professional manner. I had to admire him for that; it was like he was performing himself, spreading God's word to a willing audience. I never really thought of him like that before.

I sat at the back of the Church, glad that no one paid me any attention. I was sick of people staring at me as I passed, whispering to each other. The rumour of Niamh Quinn being beaten up by her ex-boyfriend had spread all through the drama studio.

But here, everyone clung to each word that Father John spoke, me included.

When I was little, I never used to like coming to Church. I thought that the services went on for far too long and the only joy I got out of them was that my brothers and I were alloweed cake when they were finished. But now, I could truly appreciate them.

Dad never came to Church.

As I sat at the back, watching Father John and listening to his every word, the sudden thought sprung to my mind.

Dad never came to Church with us.

When I was younger, I never really questioned it. It was just a fact that Dad didn't come to Church.

Was he hungover?

Or worse, drunk?

Sunday was always _Dad's _day, the day in which none of us were allowed to disturb him. He didn't come down for roast dinner, and instead ate alone in his office.

Why was it that I was oblivious to everything?

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't realise that the sermon had ended until I looked up and saw that people were rising from their seats. I hesitated slightly, allowing others to pass me, before I also stood up. Instead of running out as fast as I could, which I longed to do, I walked up the aisle, towards Father John.

He kept his back to me, packing away the items on the table and humming to himself as he did so. I knew that it was up to me to make the first move.

"I thought that the service today was very good."

Father John stopped humming and straightened up, keeping his back to me. "I'm surprised that you even came at all."

"So am I," I admitted. "But I had to. I've been avoiding things for too long, and I'm not a child anymore. I...I've come to apologise. I was totally out of order to shout at you, especially when you were trying to help. So, I'm sorry."

There was a brief pause.

After a moment, Father John turned to face me with a warm smile.

"I forgive you, my child. Now, would you care to join me in the office? I fancy a cup of tea."

I smiled back. "I would love to."

* * *

><p>"I hear that life has not been kind to you, my child."<p>

I looked up. "What do you mean, Father?"

He smiled at me in a knowing and yet sad manner, his eyes flickering to the stitches on the side of my face. I blushed, my hand automatically raising to them.

"Your mother was most worried." He told me.

I sighed, feeling guilty. I told my Mum what happened, but I denied her the chance to come down and visit me.

"I wish that she didn't worry," I admitted. "I really am fine."

"You were put in hospital, my child. That is not what one calls fine."

I opened my mouth to speak, but found myself unable to find anything to say. For a moment, we sat in silence, simply drinking our tea.

"Father..." I began warily.

"Yes, my child?" He asked with a warm smile.

"You knew that my Dad was an alcoholic, didn't you?"

Father John, who had been stirring his tea, froze suddenly. I watched him carefully, frowning.

"You don't have to shield me, Father, I am a grown woman."

There was a brief pause of silence, broken only as Father John removed the spoon from his mug and placed it on the saucer. Afterwards, he looked up and met my eyes with a serious expression.

"Yes, my child. He was an alcoholic, and caused your mother a lot of pain throughout the later years of their marriage. Why do you ask?"

"I guess that in hospital...it gave me some time to think things over," I absent mindedly played with my spoon. "About my family...and about the man I love."

Glancing up, I saw that Father John appeared rather shocked. He quickly composed himself when he saw that I was looking at him.

"You have found another?" He asked. I smiled.

"Yes, but I truly believe that this man is the one," I grinned. "If you get what I mean."

Father John smiled. "I do, indeed, get what you mean."

Hearing this elderly man, who was like a grandfather to me, use such a modern phrase made me laugh. He laughed along with me.

"May I ask as to what the name of this man is?"

I stopped laughing. Father John knew about the letter. Would he believe me if I told him that it was mere coincidence, the man that I love sharing the name of a supposed dead barber?

"Niamh?"

Looking up again, I saw that Father John was staring at me with concern. I smiled up at him weakly.

"Sorry, Father, I was just...thinking."

"Thinking, my child?"

"About whether or not you'll believe me when I tell you that the name of the man that I love is Sweeney Todd."

There was a long pause. Father John sat back in his seat and looked over his glasses at me in a stern manner.

"Niamh, I do hope that this is not another one your stories."

I blushed. "No, Father, it isn't," I promised. "But if you would allow me to explain, perhaps it may make more sense."

Father John waved his hand, gesturing that I should explain. Taking in a deep breath, I told him everything, including the thing I had with David. He made no comment, listening to every word that I said in silence. His expression remained attentive, and for that I was grateful. He wasn't going to judge me.

When I finished, he still didn't speak, and instead took a long sip of tea. After he finished, he placed it back on the table, leaned back in his seat and looked at me. I waited paitently, knowing that whatever he was going to say, it would be helpful.

"I am not going to pretend that I approve of everything that you have just told me, my child," He began, but the use of 'my child' told me that he wasn't angry. "But I know that things have been difficult for you, and that you are deeply sorry for your sinful actions."

I nodded. "I have told David that after the show, I don't want to see him again. What we did was incredibly stupid, and I'm not going to let it happen again."

Father John nodded approvingly.

"As for the man that you love having been brought from his time to this..." Father John paused. "I believe that the world is not all it seems."

"So...you believe me?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes, my child, I believe you."

Before I could stop myself, I jumped up, threw my arms around him and hugged him tight. Laughing, Father John hugged me back.

* * *

><p>When I got back home, I rushed upstairs, feeling happier than I had for several days. The smell of the roast in the oven filled the flat, and my smile widened.<p>

"I'm home!" I called. Hearing me, Sweeney stepped out from the kitchen.

"Welcome back."

It felt like ages since I had last seen him, and I couldn't stop myself from rushing forwards and kissing him as hard as I could. He was surprised, but kissed me back.

"What was that for?" He asked when I broke the kiss. I grinned up at him.

"I'm happy," I explained simply. "Because we have Father John's blessing, and he hopes that we're very happy together."

Taking his hand, I led him from the kitchen to the living room.

"Father John?"

"The priest at Church. He's known my parents for ages and is like a grandfather to the twins and I. What's that?"

A large bag was sitting on the armchair in the living room for no apparent reason. I turned to stare up at Sweeney questioningly.

"It was dropped off while you were out," He explained. "By someone called...Helena?"

"Helena! She must've dropped off my costumes!"

Letting go of Sweeney's hand and feeling like a child on Christmas day, I snatched up the bag and opened it. I couldn't help but squeal when I saw the two dresses that she had chosen for me.

The first one was a simple black halter neck dress, with a tight pencil skirt and a red belt that nipped in the waist. The second was also a halter neck dress, but this one had a large swing skirt. The dress was white, but printed with large pink roses with a large white belt around the waist.

I held them up, staring open mouthed at them both. They were so beautiful!

"Wow..." I whispered, and then turned to Sweeney. "Aren't they just so beautiful?"

He stared at the dresses, his brow furrowing. He looked like he was having difficulty trying to find the words to describe them.

"Yes," He finally choked out. "They are."

I laughed. "You have no idea, do you?"

His eyes met mine, and that was all he needed to do. I laughed again, hugging the dresses closer to me.

"Well, I think that they're perfect and I cannot wait until the show!"

* * *

><p>Thank you PurpleandBlackPandas, Shelia Chiaroscura, KigekiRyuu483, CadyD, firewieldermera and Lectorem for reviewing!<p>

Links for Niamh's dresses:

Dress one: h t t p : / / w w w . v i v i e n o f h o l l o w a y . c o m / e n / c a t e g o r y / H a l t e r n e c k % 2 0 P e n c i l % 2 0 D r e s s / h a l t e r n e c k - p e n c i l - d r e s s / 1 0 2 /

Dress two: h t t p : / / w w w . v i v i e n o f h o l l o w a y . c o m / e n / c a t e g o r y / 5 0 s - h a l t e r n e c k - f l o r a l - d r e s s / 5 0 s - h a l t e r n e c k - f l o r a l - d r e s s / 8 7 8 /

Just take out the spaces!


	32. Somewhere In The Crowd

_**Chapter Thirty Two  
><strong>__**Somewhere In The Crowd**_

_Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me  
>But I won't feel blue<br>Like I always do  
>'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you<br>~Super Trouper, ABBA_

* * *

><p>It was the late evening when I got back from the second performance. As we always did, the show went on for three nights. Mum, the twins and Bronagh came to see me last night, and tonight Anna came with her kid cousin.<p>

As I was the night before, I was bursting with energy from the excitement, singing as I walked upstairs.

"You're in a good mood." Sweeney commented as I walked into the living room. He was sat in the armchair with a book on his lap. I grinned as I perched on the arm of the chair.

"It was a good show. I can't wait for you to come tomorrow night!"

He smiled up at me, but didn't say anything. My grin widened as I took the book from him and slid myself onto his lap. Before he could say anything, I placed my hands either side of his face and kissed him.

This kiss was different from any others that we had shared.

It was _intense. _

When the kiss ended, I stared up at him and he stared back at me. A silent agreement was made as I stood up and held my hand out to him, which he immediately took. A small smile appearing on my face, I led him towards the bedroom.

* * *

><p>"Oh my God, you <em>didn't<em>!"

I could only grin in response. Anna's mouth fell open.

"_Niamh_!"

"What?"

"You _did, _didn't you?"

"Anna, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

Anna replied by throwing a nearby cushion at me. I ducked just in time to avoid it hitting my head before grabbing it and throwing it back at her.

"Don't act dumb with me, Miss Quinn," She said, pointing a finger at me. "You had sex last night! I can see it in your eyes!"

I couldn't help but laugh at the accusing tone of her voice, and I knew that I had to answer her.

"Ok, ok, yes, I did." I admitted.

Anna squealed as she jumped up and down in her seat, having to scramble up into her original position again so that she could lean forwards.

"Tell me everything."

I frowned. "Anna, I'm pretty sure that you know how - "

"You know what I mean!"

I laughed, adjusting my position slightly as my left foot began to get pins and needles. I was lying on Anna's sofa while she sat on an armchair; Anna and I were having a girly day before the last show.

"So, what was it like?" She asked eagerly.

"Amazing," I sighed, my head falling back against a cushion. "Absolutely _amazing._"

From the corner of my eye, I could see Anna grinning.

"Better than Jared?"

I shot her a warning look, and immediately her grin disappeared.

"Sorry."

"No, it's alright," I paused. "Yeah. A _lot _better than Jared."

Her grin reappeared. "How so?"

I sighed again, but in a content manner. Smiling, I gazed up at the ceiling as I considered my answer.

"It was...it was different. With Jared, it was like he was dominating me, like he had the power. For him, sex was a bit of foreplay and then wild sex until I can't walk properly for a week, which is fun sometimes, but other times just plain annoying. But with Sweeney it was..."

I had to pause again to think. Anna waited, but I could tell that she was impatient.

Anna was like my sister. We could tell each other anything.

"We made love," I finally said. "We didn't just have sex, we _made love._"

"I didn't know that there was a difference." Anna said with a giggle. I grinned.

"Neither did I."

* * *

><p>Backstage, everyone was buzzing.<p>

There was three rooms that we used; one for the men to change in, one for the women to change in and one where Helena would apply our make up.

I was in the third room, sat completely still as Helena carefully applied dark make up to my left eye.

"I tell you what, sweetie, making someone look like they have a black eye is the hardest thing that I have ever done." She said. I couldn't help but grin.

"I can imagine so. I just find it difficult not to rub my eye."

Behind me, I could hear the door open, but I couldn't turn around to look. Helena glanced over my shoulder and smiled.

"Oh, hi David, I'll be with you in a moment."

I supressed a groan. Great.

Just great.

"No, no, take your time," David replied. "I don't want the other guys seeing me get my make up done."

Helena chuckled; _everyone, _including the men, had to have powder on their face. It stopped us from either looking shiny or washed out in the spotlight, neither of which were good looks.

"So do you like the dress, Niamh?" Helena asked as she added the finishing touches to my eye.

"I love them," I replied. "I absolutely love them."

"I thought that you might. They're _Vivien of Holloway _dresses, you know."

"I know! I can't believe that Tim let you buy them with the budget."

Helena grinned, her eyes twinkling. "Yes, well, he didn't really."

"Helena!"

She laughed. "Well, that's your black eye done."

"Now onto my normal eye." I joked.

As Helena continued to apply my make up, David sat and watched. It was incredibly annoying, and I had to supress the urge to stand up and tell him to fuck off. Instead, I concentrated on having a conversation with Helena.

"So is anyone coming to see you tonight, Niamh?"

"Yeah," I said proudly. "My best mate Theo and my partner, Sweeney."

"Sweeney?" She repeated. "Nice name!"

"It's Irish. His parents were Irish, and he was named after his grandfather."

This was a complete lie, but Sweeney wasn't here. I could make up and back story for him, if I wanted to.

When Helena finished off my make up, I made my way to the stage, holding my shoes in one hand as I walked along in my tights. Helena had picked out a pair of stilettos for me to wear in the first half, and they were impossible to walk in while wearing my pencil dress. That was the idea though; a tight skirt and high heels would add a comical element to Audrey, as she'd have to totter everywhere.

I was just glad that in the second half, I could wear a nice pair of comfy flats.

Tonight was going to be the best night.

Sweeney was coming to see me.

I smiled to myself as I joined the cast backstage, wishing others good luck and thanking them when they did the same to me. I was nervous, yes, but Sweeney was coming.

Tonight would be brilliant.

"Hey, kid," Tim greeted me, rubbing his hands together nervously. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be. One second."

Tim let me cling to his shoulder as I slipped my feet into my stilettos; the show was about to start.

"Good luck, Niamh," He whispered as the lights went down. "I know that you'll be great."

I stared at him; that was the nicest thing that he had ever said to me.

"Thanks, Tim." Was all I could say, and then the show started.

* * *

><p>The opening music of <em>Suddenly Seymour <em>began playing, and David took a seat next to me.

_Lift up your head, he sung to me._

_Wash off your mascara_

_Here, take my Kleenex_

_Wipe that lipstick away_

I smiled sadly as I took the tissue from him and began dabbing at my lips, heavily coated in red lipstick.

_Show me your face_

_Clean as the morning_

_I know things were bad_

_But now they're okay_

With this promise, David stood up next to me and continued singing.

_Suddenly Seymour_

_Is standing beside you_

_You don't need no makeup_

_Don't have to pretend_

_Suddenly Seymour_

_Is here to provide you_

_Sweet understanding_

_Seymour's your friend_

David held his hand out to me, as if to help me stand up, but I ignored it as I stood up and wandered past him, singing.

_Nobody ever_

_Treated me kindly_

_Daddy left early_

_Mama was poor_

I reached the side of the stage and stood still, clasping my hands in front of me as I gazed out into the audience.

_I'd meet a man and_

_I'd follow him blindly_

_He'd snap his fingers_

_Me, I'd say "sure"_

With a hint of a smile, I quickly scanned the audience until I found Theo and Sweeney. Of course, Theo was beaming like an idiot, but Sweeney was simply staring up at me. He wasn't smiling, and he didn't need to. With a sudden burst of confidence, I met his gaze and continued singing.

_Suddenly Seymour_

_Is standin' beside me_

_He don't give me orders_

_He don't condescend_

_Suddenly Seymour_

_Is here to provide me_

_Sweet understanding_

_Seymour's my friend_

David rushed forwards and took my hands in his, singing to me in a desperate manner.

_Tell me this feeling lasts till forever_

_Tell me the bad times are clean washed away_

I pulled away and rushed to the other side of the stage as I sung back to him.

_Please understand that it's still_

_Strange and frightnin'_

_For losers like I've been_

_It's so hard to say_

_Suddenly Seymour_

(_Suddenly Seymour_) David and the Ronettes echoed.

_He purified me_

(_He purified you_)

_Suddenly Seymour showed me I can_

(_Yes you can_)

_Learn how to be more_

_The girl that's inside me_ (_you_)

_With sweet understanding_ We sung together, David's hands on my waist and my hands resting on his shoulders.

_Seymour's my_ (_your_) _man_

This was it, the kiss.

When we finished the long note, there was a brief pause before David and I both leaned forwards, our lips meeting in the middle. I half expected David to push it a bit, but he was perfectly calm. It was a simple, lip to lip kiss that lasted a few seconds. No movement, no tongues.

It was just a kiss.

When we broke apart, I couldn't help but smile up at him gratefully. He smiled back, but I noticed that it didn't really reach his eyes.

For some reason, that made me feel sad.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, all things must come to an end, and that included the show.<p>

We did our bows, and I couldn't help but grin as the audience started chanting for David and I. With a hint of a smile, he held his hand out to me.

I hesitated.

Should I take it?

Would I be giving the wrong impression if I did?

Or would I hurt his feelings if I didn't?

But what did I care about hurting his feelings?

With a sigh, I reached out and took his hand. With a small squeeze, David led me to the stage.

And I let him.

Everyone cheered and clapped as we walked out together, heading straight for the front of the stage. After we bowed, I scanned the audience for Sweeney again.

When I found him, my smile broadened, just for him. I thought that he would return it, but he simply stared at me. He had an odd expression on his face, almost...angry.

The cast sung the Ronette's opening song one last time, and then it was over.

Everyone was buzzing as we went back to the changing rooms, talking over each other, laughing, singing snatches of the songs. I joned in, spreading the word that the older members of the cast - e.g. anyone over the age of sixteen (which a majority of the extras were) - could come down to mine for an after show party. Tim and Helena were coming as well.

I changed quickly, gave everyone the address and then left.

"Niamh!"

Theo jumped up when I walked in from backstage, waving and grinning like an idiot. I grinned back, rushed forwards and jumped into his open arms. Laughing, he picked me up and spun me around.

"You were great, babe!"

"Thanks," I grinned, and then turned to Sweeney. He was stood next to Theo with an almost blank expression. "Did you enjoy the show?" I asked him quietly.

His eyes met mine for a second before he broke eye contact. "Yes."

I glanced at Theo, but he merely shrugged.

"Ok..." I said slowly. "Let's go home. We've got a party to go to!"

I was excited, definately, but I probably wouldn't have been if I'd have known how awful it was going to turn out.

* * *

><p>Thank you to Shelia Chiaroscura, PurpleandBlackPandas and CadyD for reviewing!<p>

I can promise you that in the next chapter, all hell is going to break loose.


	33. How Did It End Up Like This?

_**Chapter Thirty Three  
><strong>__**How Did It End Up Like This?**_

_Gotta gotta be down  
>Because I want it all<br>It started out with a kiss  
>How did it end up like this?<br>It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss  
>~Mr Brightside, The Killers<em>

* * *

><p>"Niamh!"<p>

I grinned and flung my arms around Violet as she pushed through the crowd to congratulate me. I was ever so slightly tipsy, but I didn't care! I was having fun!

"George!" I shouted. "George, you were fabulous, baby!"

George laughed as he let me hug him, hugging me back. I swayed in his arms slightly, giggling as I stumbled.

"Whoopsie!" I laughed. "Now, George, if you ever want to meet up outside the studio, y'know, go for a couple of drinks or something, you have my number don't you? We'd have a _great _time!"

George smiled and helped me stand up straight. He opened his mouth to speak, but my attention was caught by Theo.

"Sorry, Georgie porgie, but I am going to talk to my gay best friend!"

Laughing, I pushed through the crowd to join Theo at one of the tables, falling into my seat dramatically.

"Wow! This is an amazing party!"

Theo laughed. "Niamh, you are so totally drunk."

"No I'm not, but what a brilliant idea! Let's get drunk!"

Laughing, I grabbed a nearby can of beer and struggled to open it. After several attempts, I throw it onto the floor.

"I don't like beer anyway." I decided, my words slurring together.

"Ok, Niamh, calm down now, honey."

"Why? It's a party and I'm having fun!"

Jumping up, I turned the music up even louder.

"Come on everyone!" I yelled. "Party!"

Before anyone could stop me, I pulled myself up onto the table and began dancing wildly. I was just thankful that I was wearing a pair of denim shorts. Why, I wasn't sure. It was freezing outside.

I sung along to the music loudly and off tune, but I didn't care. I was drunk and I was having fun!

I cried out as I lost my footing and fell down, but a strong pair of arms caught me. I giggled as whoever caught me helped me stand up straight, keeping a strong grip on my waist.

"David!"

David grinned down at me as I doubled over with laughter. I wasn't sure as to why I was laughing; it was probably the shock of falling off the table!

"Hey babe."

"No!" I said, poking him in the chest. "I am _not _your babe. I am..._Niamh._ You will call me _Niamh _or...or..._Miss Quinn._"

David laughed, still holding onto my waist. "Sure thing, _Miss Quinn._"

I narrowed my eyes, straightening up so that I could glare at him.

"You are taking the piss, aren't you?"

"Yes," He admitted, still grinning. "Come and dance with me."

"No...no...I want to get back on that table and strip!"

I doubled over with laughter again as I said this, imagining everyone's reaction if I began stripping.

I was so drunk.

And I was loving it!

"Come on, let's dance."

I let David grab my hand and pull me into the crowd, pulling me closer than was really appropiate as we began dancing.

"You know David..." I slurred, wrapping my arms around my neck. "I used to fancy you like _fuck._ I would've so screwed you if you'd have asked me to."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. I thought that you were _dead hot._"

"I think that you're hot now." He whispered, pulling me even closer. His hand drifted from my waist to my bottom.

"David, I don't want to alarm you, but that is my rear end that you are touching." I giggled.

"I know."

Still laughing, I grabbed his hand and pulled it up, placing it on my waist and holding it there.

"You can look, but you can't touch."

"Why not?"

"Because I am _in love,_" I told him as firmly as I could. "In love and...and...not a virgin."

"Niamh, whether or not you're a virgin doesn't stop me from touching your bottom." David told me. I laughed, tripping and falling into his chest. Sighing, I simply stayed there, leaning against him as we swayed.

"You such a dick." I muttered.

"Am I?" He whispered, his breath tickling my neck. His lips brushed against my ear, making me shudder.

"Yeah. Very much so."

I could feel David's hands against the bare skin of my waist, having slid under my shirt.

"Is that why you're so close to me?"

His head was ducked, resting in the crook of my neck. I could feel his lips carressing my skin, short kisses that left me wanting more.

"Don't do that." I protested weakly.

"Don't do what?"

"Seduce me!"

David chuckled as he straightened up, looking me straight in the eye. "Am I seducing you?"

I tried to glare up at him, but failed. He smiled and leaned forwards, his lips brushing against my ear again.

"Come to bed with me."

"You are a dirty little boy, David." I muttered, pulling away. I could feel his fingers brushing against mine as he followed me through the shop and upstairs.

Once we were in the flat, David pushed me against the wall and kissed me.

I should've stopped. I should've pushed him away, told him to leave. I should've gone downstairs, told Theo that I was going to have a lie down and do exactly that.

Instead, I did the opposite.

I kiss him back eagerly, loving the way his lips moved against mine. His hands crept up my shirt again, resting on my waist.

I moaned against his lips as his hands gently brushed against my bare skin, raising goosebumps.

"Come on." I muttered, leading him to the bedroom. He stood behind me, his arms around my waist and his lips on my neck.

Bursting into the bedroom, I slammed David into the wall and pressed my lips against his. His response was eager, our lips dancing against each other.

I gasped when his teeth gently nicked against my bottom lip.

"You are so beautiful, Niamh." He whispered, ducking his head to attatch him lips against my neck again. His hands, with quick and deft movements, gently slid my t-shirt off over my head, throwing it onto the ground. His lips moved down to my breasts.

With a sudden growl, David grabbed me and flipped around so that my back was against the wall. His lips were on mine again.

"Niamh?"

I froze.

I knew that voice.

Pushing David away, I stared at the figure stood in the doorway.

"What are you doing?"

"Sweeney..." I managed to choke out. "It's not - "

"It's exactly what it looks like!" He roared. "I should've known."

With a scathing look, he spun around and stormed out the bedroom.

"No, Sweeney!"

"Hey, just forget about him," David whispered, coming up from behind me. He began kissing my neck. "Let's just have a good time."

I didn't say anything, and instead untangled myself from his arms. Grabbing my shirt, I rushed after Sweeney.

"Sweeney, wait!"

I pulled my t-shirt on as I ran down the corridor, grabbing his arm.

Immediately, he snatched it away.

"Why, Niamh?" He hissed, spinning around to face me."So that you can make up an excuse?"

"No, just let me explain, I was - "

"I know what you were doing, Niamh," Sweeney strode forwards, and I automatically mirrored his actions by a step backwards. "And I know that this isn't the first time."

"Sweeney, please..." I whispered, tears springing to my eyes.

He simply stared down at me with a furious expression before storming down the corridor. Tears trickled down my cheeks, but I brushed them away as I ran after him.

"Sweeney, wait!"

He continued walking down the stairs, ignoring me. I rushed after him.

"Sweeney, please, nothing - "

"Don't tell me that nothing happened!"

Sweeney said this with such force that everyone fell silent, turning to stare at us. I didn't care though.

Suddenly, I felt very sober.

"You were in our bedroom with another man," Sweeney said slowly, allowing every word to sink in. "You were going to _sleep _with another man."

My cheeks burned as I stared at him desperately.

"I wasn't..."

"I saw you!" He yelled.

More tears ran down my cheeks as I stared at him. After a moment, I took a shaky step forwards and held my hand out to him.

"Please, Sweeney..." I whispered. "I love you."

For a moment, something in Sweeney's eyes changed. It was a tiny flicker of something...

_Love. _

But it was replaced with the hard, cold look as his lips tilted into a sarcastic smile.

I stared at him.

_The boy. _

He looked just like the little boy from across the road.

"You don't know the meaning of the word."

Without another word, he spun around and stormed out of the shop through the side door, making sure to let it slam behind him.

I couldn't move.

Tears continued rolling down my cheeks as I stared at the spot Sweeney was just stood, my legs shaking. All of a sudden, my knees gave way, and I collapsed. A pair of strong arms grabbed hold of me before I could fall to the floor, and I clung to them desperately as I cried.

"Alright everyone, the show is over," I heard Theo announce. "Time for you to go home."

It was only then that I realised that Tim was holding me.

I clung to the sleeve of his blazer as I sobbed, barely able to stand. He didn't say anything; he just held me and let me cry.

"Niamh, come on."

A pair of hands gently tugged me away from Tim, but I held onto him desperately, like a child being taken from their mother. I didn't want to let go. Not now.

"Niamh, you're coming home with me," Theo told me softly. "I'll take you to the flat and then come back to pick up some of your things."

I barely noticed the transition from Tim's arms to Theo's, oblivious to their muttered conversation as they both helped me into my car. Theo, of course, was driving.

"Are you going to be alright, kid?" Tim asked me softly as Theo did up my seatbelt for me, kneeling down next to my seat. I could barely look at him.

With a sympathetic smile, Tim placed a hand on my cheek. I automatically jerked away before realising that it was nothing more than a sympathetic gesture, making me feel even worse.

"See you soon, Niamh."

Tim hesitated before placing a fatherly kiss on my brow and shutting the door afterwards.

The drive to Theo and Anna's flat was a silent one, only broken by my occasional sob.

Oh God.

I've messed up so badly.

Theo helped me out of the car and to his flat, but I barely noticed. It was like this was all a dream, a bad dream. I was going to wake up and roll over and see Sweeney...smiling at me...

The thought made me cry.

"Niamh?"

I could hear Anna's voice, and I could see her rushing forwards, but I barely registered it. While they guided me to the sofa, Theo explained the situation to Anna in a hushed voice.

It wasn't until Anna wrapped a blanket around me did I realise that I was shivering.

When Theo left to get some of my belongings, Anna sat next to me and hugged me. I leaned against her, tears silently trickling down my cheeks.

One question rolled through my mind.

_What have I done? _

* * *

><p>Thank you JDeppIsMyLovely, Spanish Sunrise, CadyD, PurpleandBlackPandas and Erica Lovett for reviewing!<p>

I now have Tumblr! The link is on my profile, and I'll be posting information about my ongoing stories on - trivia, when the next update is, sneak previews etc.

And, I'm sad to say, that this fic is nowhere near over! This is probably going to be my longest chapter wise, because there is a lot that needs to happen!


	34. Breaking's What The Heart Is For

_**Chapter Thirty Four  
><strong>__**Breaking's What The Heart Is For**_

_Now don't don't  
><em>_Say it didn't happen that way  
><em>_I won't won't  
><em>_Believe another word that you say_

_In a clear view there's a silhouette  
><em>_And I watch you and I can't forget  
><em>_(Knew we were done when you locked that door)  
><em>_Yeah I figured it out now  
><em>_Breaking's what the heart is for  
>~Breakin', All American Rejects<em>

* * *

><p>Theo didn't take long.<p>

I looked up as I heard the door open, and for one mad moment I hoped that Sweeney was with him. But Theo's face was grave as he shut the door behind him, my bag in hand.

Seeing me, Theo shook his head.

"He's in a really bad way, Niamh."

Tears sprung to my eyes. "Did he say anything?"

"No. He was in the office when I saw him. He looked like he wanted to be alone."

"What was he doing?"

"Just...sitting there."

A few tears trickled down my cheeks.

I hated myself.

Why?

I had everything.

I had _everything, _and I just threw it away.

Like my Dad.

"Niamh, don't cry, babe," Theo begged, kneeling in front of me. "Here, why don't you put on your pyjamas? I'll make you some coffee."

I took my bag from Theo and tried to stand, only to trip over my own feet. Theo caught me quickly, and helped me up.

"Thanks." I murmured, pulling away and walking to the bathroom.

I felt like this was all a dream. I was drifting to and fro in an almost lifeless manner.

_Sweeney. _

Shutting the bathroom door behind me, I leaned against it and shut my eyes.

Oh God.

My legs gave way, and I slid to the ground. Curling up, I hugged myself as I silently cried.

I had hurt Sweeney so much.

The look on his face...the pain...the anger...the betrayal.

Why did I do it?

I was everything that I despised. A lying, cheating slut.

Just like Jared said I was.

I snorted at the thought of Jared. He'd be loving it if he knew what was going on.

Still sobbing, I pulled my bag towards me and unzipped it, searching through it for my pyjamas. Theo had packed my favourite green pair that I wore the night I left Jared. Pulling myself up, I stripped down from my denim shorts and shirt before pulling on my pyjamas.

I threw the awful outfit into my bag before reluctantly leaving the bathroom.

Theo and Anna were talking in hushed voices, but as soon as they saw me, they stopped.

I sighed. "Please, guys, don't act weird around me," I begged quietly. "I can't handle that at the moment."

"Sorry, honey," Anna apologised sweetly. "Come on."

Taking me by the hand, she took me to the sofa. I sat down and curled up automatically, closing my eyes as she wrapped the blanket around me again.

"Please don't be so nice to me." I moaned.

"Would you rather that we were horrible and called you a dirty slut while kicking you out into the street?" Theo asked, taking a seat on my other side. I opened my eyes.

"I deserve about that, so yeah."

"Oh, Niamh," Theo smiled sadly. "Don't beat yourself up."

"Why not? I am a dirty slut."

I didn't say it in a self pitying manner, because I didn't feel sorry for myself. I hated myself, but I didn't feel sorry for myself.

"Yeah, and David is a total prick!" Anna said. "No decent guy would take advantage of someone in your state."

I didn't answer. Just because David took advantage of me didn't excuse my actions.

"It'll be alright in the end, Niamh."

I turned to Theo with teary eyes, looking up at him hopefully.

"You really think so?"

He smiled, placing a gentle hand on my cheek. "I know so. Sweeney really cares about you. You'll work something out."

I smiled and excused myself, deciding that I was going to wash my sore eyes in the bathroom. While I did so, I caught sight of a box of tampons on the shelf. Obviously, they were Anna's, but I couldn't stop staring at them.

"No..." I murmured, shaking my head.

No, it wasn't even a possibility.

Was it?

* * *

><p>I'm walking.<p>

I'm walking in a familiar place, voices echoing around me.

_I killed my wife._

_You are going to behave._

_Stay with me._

_Forgive and forget. _

_I don't like the idea of you being stuck in a relationship where you're not happy_!

_You lie and cheat your way into everyone's lives and their beds_.

_He was a dirty alcoholic. He was weak._

_We've got a party to go to! _

_You don't know the meaning of the word. _

And then I see her.

A little girl is curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth with her head buried in her arms, which are wrapped around her legs.

Is she crying?

I walk forwards hesitantly, careful not to startle her. She doesn't look up, not even when I kneel down in front of her.

"Are you ok?" I asked softly.

She finally looks up, and I gasp.

Her eyes are the exact same colour as mine.

Her eyes are the odd mixture of green and blue that mine are, a little too big and framed by thick eyelashes.

But that's not what makes me gasp.

Her hair.

Her hair is pitch black.

I brush my own hair out of my face as I stare at her.

"Who are you?"

* * *

><p>My eyes flickered open.<p>

For a moment, I expected to roll over and see Sweeney smiling down at me. Rolling over, I saw the back of the sofa.

When did I fall asleep?

My body felt stiff as I sat up and looked around.

I remembered.

I bit my bottom lip as I momentarily allowed last night's events to wash over me.

Swallowing, I pushed the memories out of my mind and got up from the sofa, grabbing my bag as I made my way to the bathroom. While I got dressed (I was very pleased to see that Theo had packed my knitted jumper), my eyes flickered to the box of tampons again.

I frowned.

No.

Definately not.

Packing my pyjamas away, I unlocked the bathroom and walked back to the living room. I wasn't surprised to see that it was empty.

I threw my bag onto the sofa and then began making myself a cup of coffee. When it was done, I sat on one of the stools by the counter and sipped it, gazing out the window.

Before long, Theo and Anna emerged from their rooms.

"Morning guys."

"Morning," Anna replied. Theo merely groaned, falling onto the sofa. I raised an eyebrow at him before turning to Anna.

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

"Fine," She looked at me in concern. "How did you sleep?"

I made a face. "Alright, I guess."

She smiled sympathetically.

"Listen...I'm going to go home," I said. "I think that it's best if Sweeney and I sort things out sooner rather than later."

"Really?" Theo sat up. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks for letting me stay here, though."

"No problem, honey," Anna smiled. "You know that you're always welcome here."

* * *

><p>I sat outside the shop in my car.<p>

I was dreading this; I had driven past it three times already because I chickened out.

Through my rearview mirror, across the road, I could see Nellie and the little boy.

_Sweeney. _

My eyes met the boy's in the mirror, and I stared at him determindedly. He stared back at me, the smile slowly spreading across his face again.

"I know who you are," I muttered. "You don't scare me anymore."

He merely smirked at me.

Glaring at him, I climbed out of the car, leaving my bag in the seat, and slammed the door shut. I knew where Sweeney would be,

I felt more and more scared as I approached the office, my heart pounding against my chest, but I knew that this had to be done.

Before I could stop myself, I reached out and opened the office door.

Sweeney didn't even look up as I walked in, shutting the door behind me. I waited, but he was silent.

He was stood in front of the window with his razor, and the loud s_crape _of the blade against the wood was the only sound that could be heard.

"I'm back." I finally stated, breaking the silence.

"So I noticed." He muttered.

I bit my bottom lip, swaying slightly.

"I know what I did was...unforgivable," I said. "It's the most stupid thing that I've ever done, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

"Forgive and forget, you said. _No more lies,_" Sweeney hissed. "Why should I believe anything that you say?"

"Because I love you."

I flinched as Sweeney flung the sharpening board into the corner.

"No you don't," He snapped. "You're just like _her._"

"Who?"

He didn't reply. Instead, he turned his back on me and glared out of the window.

"Please, Sweeney...I love you," I whispered. "I love you so much."

"Why should I believe anything that you say?" Sweeney repeated stiffly.

I hesitated.

Now really wasn't the right time, but I had to say it.

Taking in a deep breath, I answered him.

"Because I'm pregnant."

* * *

><p>Thank you JDeppIsMyLovely and CadyD for reviewing!<p> 


	35. Can't Stand, Won't Stand Losing You

_**Chapter Thirty Four  
><strong>__**Can't Stand, Won't Stand Losing You**_

_So tell me why, I'm swimming against the tide  
><em>_And I'm praying for a lifeline, cos I'm  
><em>_Losing you  
><em>_So tell me why, you don't care enough to try  
><em>_Are you giving up this fight, I can't stand,  
><em>_Won't stand, losing you  
><em>_~Losing You, Busted_

* * *

><p>He stared at me silently, his eyebrows pulling together. His mouth was open to speak, but he didn't say anything.<p>

"I'm pregnant." I repeated quietly, my hand automatically drifting down to my still flat stomach.

He continued to stare at me, his eyes flickering down to my stomach.

"Say something."

"What is there to say?"

I flinched. "I'm having a baby, Sweeney. Your baby. _Our _baby."

"How can you be so sure that it's _ours_?" He sneered. My head jerked, as if he had just slapped me.

But it was worse.

His implication that the baby was someone else's hurt a lot more than any physical pain.

And I hated him for it.

"Because, believe it or not, I didn't sleep with David," I snapped furiously. "You may think of me as a lying, cheating slut, but I did not have sex with him or anyone else!"

Without saying another word, I stormed out of the office.

Tears of anger were rolling down my cheeks as I stomped into my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me and falling onto my bed. I lay on my side, grabing my pillow and hugging it.

I was pregnant.

I was pregnant, and all Sweeney and I could do was fight.

I was loosing him.

I didn't want to, and I couldn't bear the thought of it, but I was loosing Sweeney.

It actually hurt to think that.

I placed a hand on my stomach again, trying hard to imagine our child.

Our child.

I was going to be a Mum.

I rolled onto my back, keeping my hand rested on my stomach. Closing my eyes, I began to imagine our child as a teenager.

I was going to have a boy.

The thought sprung to my mind immediately, and I couldn't help but smile. It felt right, imagining a little boy with scruffy black hair and blue-green eyes. He'd look just like Sweeney, and be ever so handsome when he grew up.

Liam Todd.

The name rolled off my tongue as I tested it quietly. _Liam Todd. _It sounded perfect.

I didn't even contemplate names if my child was a girl; I was certain that it was going to be a boy.

I frowned as I thought of Sweeney.

Would we still be together?

Would my little boy be Liam Quinn instead of Liam Todd?

If we weren't together, what would Sweeney do? Would he visit our son every weekend, take him for days out? Or would he not have anything to do with him?

I sincerly hoped that it would be the former.

It made me frown as I thought of not being with Sweeney.

Were we going to split up?

"Don't worry, Liam," I whispered. "Everything will be alright."

I knew that my baby, Liam, wasn't even a baby yet. He was probably just a little sea monkey type thing, floating in the protection of my womb.

I was going to get so fat.

I looked up as the door of the bedroom opened slowly, watching Sweeney step in.

"What do you want?" I demanded bitterly, reluctantly sitting up.

"To talk."

"I don't want to get rid of the baby."

Sweeney stared at me silently, frowning. I kept eye contact with him determindedly.

"I refuse to abort this child," I told him. "I lost my first child and I am not missing out on the chance to be a mum again."

"Is that what you thought I wanted?"

"Is it what you want?" I countered.

He didn't answer. I stared at him incredulously, tears springing to my eyes.

"How could you be so heartless? This is our _child, _Sweeney! Does that mean nothing to you?" I demanded, getting up from the bed. "You stand there and you tell me how much you miss your wife and family, and yet you're telling me to abort our child!"

"Niamh,"

"You're insane! You're totally sick and insane! I lost my first baby, Sweeney! I don't care that it was Jared's, that was my baby!"

"Niamh,"

"But if you don't want it, you know what you can do, don't you? You can just walk away and leave me like any other bloke in my life! Yeah, do that! Fuck off and let me be a mum on my own."

Flinging open the wardrobe, I began grabbing Sweeney's clothes and throwing them onto the floor at his feet.

"Because I don't need you! I don't need you, I don't need David, I don't need Jared, I don't need Theo and I definately do not need my _dad_!"

I was crying at this point, stood still and crying hysterically.

I did need him.

I needed Sweeney like I had never needed anyone else before.

I needed him like I needed air to breathe. Sweeney was my oxygen, my alcohol, my _drug_.

I _needed _him.

If I lost Sweeney, I didn't know what I would do without him.

"I love you," I sobbed. "I love you so much and I'm sorry for what I did. I hate myself and I hate David. But I don't want to loose you."

Sweeney didn't say anything. He simply stood in the mess that was our room, staring at me in silence. I stared back at him desperately.

"I _can't _loose you."

At first, I thought that he might say something. Something horrible, something scathing, and then leave.

Leave the room, leave the shop, leave _me. _

But he didn't.

Without saying a word, Sweeney walked forwards until he stood straight in front of me, gazing down at me in silence. I kept eye contact with him, aware of how unattractive I must've looked.

"I love you." I whispered.

Would he say it?

Sweeney didn't speak as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. I began to sob harder, stumbling as I shuffled closer, clinging to his shirt. I buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent.

He was leaving me.

His cheek rested on the top of my head as we simply stood in each other's embrace.

"I love you," I repeated desperately. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Sweeney pulled away, out of my grasp, and I knew that this was it.

He was leaving me.

Would he say anything? Would he apologise?

Or would he just leave me?

"Sweeney...please..."

To my surprise, Sweeney placed his hands either side of my face, keeping eye contact with me.

"Niamh," He said quietly. "I love you."

"W-what?"

What was this? Was he going to torment me to get back at me for cheating on him?

"For God's sake," He muttered, pulling away and pacing back and forth. "I love you, Niamh. I love you. Need I say it again?"

I could only stare at him.

"I don't want you," He continued in a calmer tone of voice. "To get rid of the baby."

"You're not leaving me?"

Sweeney stood in front of me again, his hands on my cheeks. I closed my eyes, loving the way his skin felt against mine.

"No," He whispered. "I'm not leaving you."

A few more tears trickled down my cheeks, but he brushed them away before placing a kiss on my brow. Taking me by the hand, he took me to the bed.

I lay down in front of him, smiling as he wrapped his arm around my waist, a hand resting on my stomach. I placed my hand over his.

"A boy."

"What?"

I smiled. "I think that we're going to have a boy, and if we do, I'd like to call him Liam."

"After your father." Sweeney said quietly.

"Yes."

"And what if our baby is a girl?"

I frowned, my eyes flickering to the window. Sitting on the sill was a bird. I recognized it immediately, inspiration hitting me.

"Robyn," I decided. "Robyn Todd."

Sweeney repeated the name behind me, and I could tell that he liked the sound of it.

Rolling over to face him, I placed a hand on his cheek.

"Sweeney,"

"Yes?"

"What was the name of your daughter?"

He paused for a moment, his eyes looking past me as he allowed himself to remember.

"Johanna," He finally told me. "Her name was Johanna."

I smiled. "Robyn _Johanna _Todd, if that's alright with you."

Sweeney smiled down at me. "That is fine with me."

Maybe...maybe things would be alright.

It was going to be hard, but we'd be alright.

We'd get by.

* * *

><p>Thank you CadyD, JDeppIsMyLovely, Samuel Fox and Comfortably Plump for reviewing!<p>

No, the story isn't over yet! There is still a lot more to come XD


	36. This Gets Harder

_**Chapter Thirty Six  
>This Gets Harder<strong>_

_Do you remember that day when we met?  
><em>_You told me this gets harder  
><em>_Well it did  
><em>_~It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Deathwish, My Chemical Romance_

* * *

><p>We'd get by.<p>

Stuff that.

Three months pregnant, and I already wanted the little bugger out of me.

To make things worse, it was winter.

It was freezing.

I was hormonal.

It would be Christmas in three weeks.

Could it get any worse?

Yeah, it just did.

Shaking, I pushed myself up from leaning over the toilet, a horrid taste in my mouth. God damn morning sickness.

I brushed my hair out of my face as I left the bathroom and walked along the hallway to the kitchen, desperate for a glass of water. I poured myself a glass from the tap, leaning against the counter as I sipped it.

_We'd get by. _

That was a load of crap.

Maybe it was because this was my first child that I was so bitter, or maybe it was because I had a slight fear that this one would miscarry as well.

I shuddered, wishing that I had the sense to grab a jumper before I hurtled out of the bedroom. It was freezing in the flat.

I glanced down at my stomach, still flat underneath my pyjama top, and placed a hand on it. I couldn't help but smile, knowing that there was a little baby inside there, just waiting to be born.

Only another six months to go.

"I didn't hear you get up."

I jumped, my daydream broken by Sweeney's voice. Taking in a deep breath, I faced him.

"I didn't hear you come in," I retorted. "I've spent most of the morning in the bathroom being sick. What's your excuse?"

"You were deep in thought."

After a second of thought, I realised that this was his excuse. I grinned sheepishly.

"Guilty as charged."

"You've been sick again." Sweeney stated as he began making himself a cup of coffee.

"Yep. Good ol' morning sickness. Don't worry though, it's completely natural."

"I know. I've been reading the book as well."

I laughed; Sweeney and I invested in a book about pregnancy for first time parents, and it proved to be fairly helpful. It went through each stage of said pregnancy, including what changes I go through as the pregnancy progresses over the months.

"I'm going to get a jumper and then lie down," I said, pushing myself off the counter. "See you in the living room."

I did exactly that, wandering to our bedroom so that I could fetch a pair of thick socks and a jumper. I tied my hair back into a messy ponytail as I made my way back to the living room. Sweeney was sat on the sofa, a kid's cartoon playing on the TV.

"_Spongebob Squarepants_?" I screwed my nose up. "Really?"

"Is that what this is?"

"Yep."

Trying not to laugh, I sat down next to Sweeney and curled up against him, loving the way that he put his arm around me.

"It's very strange."

"How?" I grinned, wondering what he would say.

"The concept of the cartoon," Sweeney replied with a frown. "Why does a crab have a _whale _for a daughter?"

"I don't know, maybe he adopted her."

Sweeney continued to glare at the screen, as if the whole idea of the cartoon offended him, and I laughed.

"Just...chill," I said softly. "The whole cartoon is nonsense, but it's funny. There's no need to get angry about simple things."

He scowled, obviously not convinced. I laughed again, snuggling in closer to him.

"Sweeney,"

"Yes?"

I hesitated, choosing my words carefully. "I know it's not really your religion or anything, but I was wondering if you'd mind if we got the baby baptised when it's born?"

Sweeney stiffened slightly; I straightened up to look at him.

"Why do you want to do that?" He asked.

"Because I'm Catholic, Sweeney, it's my religion. I know that I'm a crap sort of Catholic, and I'm not trying to stuff the whole Church and Jesus thing down your throat, because I know that's not what you believe in, but it would mean a lot to me."

Sweeney's eyes met mine, and I met his gaze squarely.

"If it means that much to you."

I smiled. "Thank you."

I leaned forwards to kiss him, but the landline prevented me from doing so by starting to ring.

Sweeney swore under his breath as I got up from the sofa and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, darling, it's me."

"Hey Mum!" I grinned, flopping onto the armchair. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm great."

"Oh?"

I grinned at Sweeney, who was watching me with an almost amused expression.

"I've got some news, Mum, some really good news. I was going to leave until I next saw you but I guess I can tell you now."

"What is it? Niamh Olivia Quinn, what the hell have you done?" Mum demanded. I laughed.

"Mum, I'm pregnant."

The effect was immediate; Mum squealed down the phone in a very childlike manner, firing questions at me shortly afterwards.

"Mum, Mum, stop!" I cried, grinning. "No, I haven't got married behind your back, and yes, the father of the baby and I are together. I'm only three months gone."

"Oh Niamh, this is fantastic!" Mum laughed down the phone. "I am so happy for you!"

"Thanks Mum."

"Right, I actually have a reason for ringing you, love."

"Really?" I teased, giggling. I stopped giggling when she spoke again. "Oh. Ok. Yeah, we'd love to. That would be...amazing."

Sweeney was frowning at me, and I grimaced at him.

"Ok, Mum, I'm really sorry but I've got to go."

"Alright darling, I'll talk to you soon."

"Definately. Love you."

"I love you too, Niamh. Bye."

"Bye."

Putting the phone away, I flopped back onto the armchair.

"What?"

I turned to face Sweeney, wondering how he would react.

"We're spending Christmas with my family."

* * *

><p>Thank you xSilentDawnx, Comfortably Plump, CadyD, PurpleandBlackPandas, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle and Shelia Chiaroscura for reveiwing!<p>

PurpleandBlackPandas: The way I see it is, if Stephenie Meyer says that a vampire can impregnate a human, why can't a ghost-that-has-come-back-to-life do it? XD


	37. The Family You Come From

_**Chapter Thirty Seven  
><strong>__**The Family You Come From**_

_Teenage dreams in a teenage circus  
><em>_Running around like a clown on purpose  
><em>_Who gives a damn about the family you come from?  
><em>_No giving up when you're young and you want some  
>~Golden, Mika<em>

* * *

><p>"Right, have you got everything?"<p>

"Yes."

"You sure?"

"I am."

"I've got everything as well and the presents are already in the car so - "

"Niamh,"

"Yeah?"

"Calm down."

I grinned sheepishly at Sweeney. "Sorry, I'm just excited to see my family."

He rolled his eyes, picking up his bag. "Let's go."

Laughing, I picked up the rest of my stuff and followed him out of the shop and towards the car. After putting our bags in the backseat, I started up the engine.

"I do warn you now though, my family is barking mad."

Sweeney raised an eyebrow. "Much like yourself, then."

"Yeah, but _worse._"

As we drove, I played various CD's while Sweeney made comments on the style of music and the lead singers. His opinions on good music were completely different to mine, but he coped.

"Oh, I guess I had better tell you about the house," I suddenly realised. "We'll probably be sleeping in my old room, so we'll have to squish in a single bed, if that's alright with you."

"That's fine."

I grinned. "Right. Next to my room is Bronagh's, and next to her is Ryan's room. Mum sleeps in the room opposite Ryan's and the twins sleep in the shed."

Sweeney looked very confused, and slightly disturbed.

"Basically, no one was using the garage after Dad died and we sold his car, and Mum was worried about Ryan having to share with her his whole life. So the twins redecorated the garage, put in a couple of beds, installed a TV and moved in. It's really cool in there, actually."

"I'll take your word for it."

I laughed. "Oh, and on Christmas morning, we go to Church."

"And I am expected to attend the service with you?"

"You don't have to, but Mum will probably like you a lot more if you do."

"What are you family like?" Sweeney asked, and then smirked. "Apart from barking mad."

I grinned, thinking for a moment as I carefully chose my words. I didn't want to scare him, after all.

"Mum is very maternal, if that makes sense. She'll treat you like one of the family, make you feel really welcome. She's a _great _cook, but gets really annoyed by people hovering in the kitchen when she's trying to get on with things."

"So it is best to stay out of her way while she's cooking?"

"Definately, unless she asks you to help. Oh yeah, she's also very Irish."

Sweeney frowned, considering this. I smiled as I began to describe the twins.

"Ciaran and Eoghan are like the pranksters of the family. They're always playing tricks and making jokes, but the two of them are hilarious. I warn you now, though, they are very protective of me. Just...don't let them try and scare you which," I glanced at Sweeney. "They probably won't do."

I rolled the car to a stop as the light turned red, thinking about Bronagh.

"Bronagh is a typical teenager, really. Grumpy, bossy, a drama queen, likes to do things her own way. She's a pain in the backside at times, but a really fab girl. And Ryan? He's a little sweetheart that loves trains."

"Trains?"

"He loves them."

By this point, I drove around the corner and ended up on the road that my old house was on. I didn't even have to look for my house; I pulled up by instinct.

"Welcome to my home."

As I said this, the front door opened. I grinned, jumping out of my car and watching as Ryan came charging down the front path in his wellies, Bronagh running after him.

"Ryan, I said wait!"

"Nim!" Ryan cried, still unable to say my name properly. I laughed and scooped him up in my arms, spinning him around.

"Hey Ryan! You're so big now!"

"Tell me about it," Bronagh grumbled. "He's a total monster as well."

"Aw, you're not a monster, are you Ryan?"

Ryan laughed and began to roar, curling his little fingers so that they looked like claws. I also laughed, turning to Bronagh.

"Hey, sis."

"Hey Niamh."

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Sweeney stood by the car. I held out my hand, which he took after a moment of hesitation, and pulled him forwards.

"Sweeney, this is my little sister Bronagh. Bronagh, this is Sweeney."

"Hey dude," She said with a grin. "Nice to finally meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well."

"Oh no,"

"You're back."

Ciaran and Eoghan strolled down the path towards me, quickly followed by Mum.

"Niamh!"

"Mum!"

Handing Ryan to Bronagh, I let go of Sweeney's hand and ran forwards, flinging my arms around Mum. She hugged me tightly.

"I've missed you, love," She told me, placing her hands either side of my face. "And you're pregnant!"

I laughed. "Yep, I'm pregnant. Come and meet Sweeney."

I took Mum's hand in my own and we walked back down the path, to where Sweeney and the twins were shaking hands. Leaning towards me, Mum whispered in my ear.

"He's very good looking, Niamh."

"Mum!"

She grinned.

"Sweeney, this is my Mum. Mum, this is Sweeney." I introduced. Sweeney held his hand out to her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms Quinn. Niamh has told me so much about you."

Mum let go of my hand and laughed. "Oh, darling, you don't need to be formal with me! Come here!"

I couldn't help but laugh as Mum hugged Sweeney tightly, taking Ryan from Bronagh. When she let him go, Mum pointed a stern finger at him.

"And none of that _Ms Quinn _nonsense. You will call me Eva."

I grinned; first name terms meant that Mum liked him.

"So what's for dinner?" I asked as we began walking up the garden path, Sweeney and I carrying our bags.

"Well, I was thinking about ordering a Chinese."

"Quinn style?"

"Is there any other way?" Bronagh asked with a grin.

Chinese, or any other take away for that matter, in Quinn style was when we basically ordered _loads _of stuff, put it on the floor and just sat around in front of the TV helping ourselves to a bit of everything.

"I'm going to show Sweeney my room." I announced.

"Ok, love."

With a quick smile at Sweeney, who hadn't said much, I weaved my hand into his and took him upstairs.

"Welcome," I opened my door with a grand gesture. "To my room."

To my pleasure, my room had not changed a bit.

The walls, painted a light shade of green, were still decorated with my West End show posters, the train tickets stuck next to each one, and various postcards I got from trips that I went on. One of my walls was dedicated to my photos, ranging from baby ones to the last day I spent at home.

I flopped onto my bed, grinning as I gazed up at the ceiling.

"I've missed this place."

Sweeney had put down his bags and was now inspecting my photo collage. Still grinning, I jumped up from the bed and joined him.

"Is that you?"

Sweeney pointed at one photo, and I followed his gaze. My cheeks burned; I was three when the photo was taken, and wearing nothing but my _101 Dalmations _swimming costume. My hair, a vivid red, was tied back into bunches and my cheeks were bright red as I beamed up at the camera.

"Yep, that's me."

"You look so young."

"Three years old."

Sweeney wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. I sighed contently, leaning against him.

"I love you." I mumbled.

"I love you too."

Turning to face him, I wrapped my arms around Sweeney's neck and kissed him.

"Niamh, what do you want from the Chinese?"

I reluctantly pulled away from Sweeney and sighed. He looked slightly disgruntled as well.

"Niamh!"

"Be down in a minute!" I yelled back, just like I used to do when I was a teenager. "Come on, otherwise Mum will send out a search party."

Sweeney frowned, but nodded. Smiling, I leaned up and pressed my lips against his once more.

"Niamh!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!"

* * *

><p>Thank you CadyD, Shelia Chiaroscura and PurpleandBlackPandas for reviewing!<p>

In case you're curious, I imagine Niamh's family to look like:

Kaitlyn: Bryce Dallas Howard

Eoghan and Ciaran: James and Oliver Phelps

Bronagh: A young Lindsay Lohan - her portrayal of Cady in Mean Girls is the best way to imagine her!


	38. My Head Is Stuck In The Clouds

_**Chapter Thirty Eight  
><strong>__**My Head Is Stuck In The Clouds  
><strong>__  
>My head is stuck in the clouds<br>__She begs me to come down  
><em>_Says, "Boy, quit foolin' around."  
><em>_I told her, "I love the view from up here  
><em>_Warm sun and wind in my ear  
><em>_We'll watch the world from above  
><em>_As it turns to the rhythm of love."  
><em>_~Rhythm Of Love, Plain White T's _

* * *

><p>I loved the snow.<p>

I grinned to myself as I walked with long strides, the snow crunching beneath my wellies. I loved to kick my feet out each time I pulled them up, little flakes flying out before becoming part of the cold blanket once more.

"Niamh, are you even listening to me?"

"What?"

Mum rolled her eyes at me. "You've got to learn to pay attention, Niamh, otherwise you'll never get anywhere."

"I know, I know," I grinned sheepishly. "I just - "

"Love the snow."

"Right."

Mum and I shared a laugh as we continued walking, a cold breeze nibbling at our already red faces. I shivered, zipping up my coat and pulling my hat down.

"You really love him, don't you?"

I didn't have to ask Mum who she meant. Smiling, I nodded.

"Yeah. With all my heart."

Mum stared at me with a funny expression on her face, silently studying my face. I grinned awkwardly, feeling self concious under her sharp stare.

"What?"

"I am very happy for you, love."

I frowned. "But...?"

"But nothing. I'm honestly very happy for you, and he obviously loves you too."

"Do you prefer him to Jared?" I asked carefully.

"Definately."

There was a brief pause as we continued walking, the tiny flakes landing on us and disappearing immediately.

"Are the two of you going to get married, then?"

"No, probably not."

"Oh," Mum frowned. "Why not?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "We have talked about it but...he doesn't seem to keen on the idea."

Mum smiled at me sympathetically before leading me into the corner shop.

* * *

><p>"Niamh,"<p>

"What?"

"THINK FAST!"

I hurridedly ducked as Eoghan threw a snowball in my direction, jumping up to throw one back at him.

This was why I loved the snow.

I burst out laughing as the snowball exploded from the impact as it hit Eoghan's chest, some of it spraying his face. Bronagh and Ciaran also laughed, Sweeney smirking slightly.

"Right, GET HER!"

I screamed as the twins and Bronagh charged towards me, spinning around and running as fast as I could while ducking snowballs coming from all directions. Mum was laughing, looking up from the snowman she and Ryan were making.

"Gotcha!"

I squealed, laughing and struggling when Eoghan grabbed me from behind. Also laughing, he pinned me down on the floor while Bronagh and Ciaran pelted me with snowballs.

When the twins finally turned their attack on Bronagh, I was too weak to get up, still giggling slightly. Sweeney stood over me, his eyebrows raised.

"Don't look at me like that." I ordered feebly, still giggling.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do. Help me up."

Sweeney took my outstretched hands in his and helped me stand up. My back and bum were cold and wet, but I didn't really care. Keeping hold of his hands, I turned to face him with a small smile.

SNAP.

I spun around, only to see Mum holding up her digital camera with a grin.

"For the albums, of course."

I grinned. Of course, the albums. Filled with photos from the day that the twins were born, documenting practically every moment of our lives.

Keeping one of his hands in mine, I pulled Sweeney towards the hill of the park, on which the twins were using our two sledges. Bronagh was pulling Ryan around in his special toddler sledge.

"Give us a go, Ciaran." I ordered. When we were little, the twins and I would go down together, but we were too big for it now.

"Come on, then."

"Ciaran, I am not sitting on that sledge with you."

"Why not? Too scared?"

I glared at him. "No, I'm pregnant."

"Really? I thought that you were just fat!"

I responded by tipping the sledge over and then kicking snow in his face.

"Mum!" Ciaran wailed. "Help!"

"I'm sorry, love, but you definately asked for that one."

So while the twins and Bronagh used our sledges, I played with Ryan in the snow, pulling him around on his plastic sledge. Mum loved it; she took loads of photos of Ryan and I playing.

"And what is Mr Snowman's name?" I asked as Ryan struggled to attach a couple of stick arms to our snowman. He thought about it for a moment.

"Icky-bod."

I laughed. "You mean Ichabod, silly billy," I teased, tickling his stomach. "Where did you learn such a cool name?"

"It was on a DVD that Bronagh watched," Ryan told me. "It had a big scary horse and loads of people lost their heads."

_Sleepy Hollow._

Great.

My brother was being exposed to horror films before he even started school.

"Ok, we'll call the snowman Ichabod. How about Ichabod Crane?"

"No, Icky-bod Snow."

Sweeney was stood nearby, watching with mild amusement. I looked up at him and grinned.

"Ichabod Snow," I said firmly. "Great name, huh?"

"Excellent." He agreed dryly.

"Ok guys, time to go home now." Mum announced.

"But Mum - "

"No buts. You lot need to warm up and then we need to get ready for Church."

I supressed the urge to groan.

Church.

I had completely forgotten that on Christmas Eve, the Church held a carol service. Mum being Mum attended every year, meaning that we had to attend every year.

"I don't want to leave Icky-bod." Ryan whined, looking as if he was about to burst into tears. I knelt by him, wrapping my arm around him.

"Don't worry, Ryan, he won't melt."

"He won't?"

"No, Father Christmas will pick him up tonight and take him to the North Pole, where he can party all year with the other snowmen. He'll even send you a post card!"

Ryan didn't look too convinced.

"Hey, do you know what's so special about the North Pole?"

"What?" He mumbled.

"It never stops snowing!"

"Really?" Immediately, Ryan's face lit up. I nodded.

"Yeah. Come on, we have to get ready for Church now, because if we don't leave, Father Christmas can't come and pick him up."

Mum mouthed a quick 'thank you' to me as she took Ryan's hand and walked ahead with him.

Standing up, I saw that Sweeney was still watching me.

"What?"

He didn't reply. Instead, he simply smirked and held his hand out.

I took it immediately.

* * *

><p>"How do I look?"<p>

I twirled for Sweeney's benefit, grinning childishly as my skirt flew out slightly. I was wearing a plain green dress with long sleeves and a knee length skirt, my hair loose around my face.

"Beautiful."

I blushed, but grinned at him.

"You don't look too bad yourself."

Sweeney was wearing a white button up shirt underneath a black v-neck jumper and black trousers. I never really noticed it before, but black looked brilliant on him. It was a bold, yet amazing, contrast with his pale skin.

Stepping forwards, I played with the collar of his shirt momentarily before leaning up and kissing him.

"I love you." I whispered when I pulled away. His hand gently stroked my cheek.

"I love you too."

"Niamh!"

I smiled up at him and weaved my hand into his.

Downstairs, Mum was helping Ryan into his coat. Sweeney and I put ours on and, when Ryan was finally ready, we all set off for Church.

During the walk, I couldn't help but notice that Sweeney looked rather tense. I thought nothing of it until we reached the Church. Mum and the others went straight inside, but I hung back.

"What's up?" I asked softly.

"I don't think that this is appropiate," Sweeney muttered. "I have no right to be here."

Frowning, I placed my hands either side of his face and forced him to look at me.

"Don't say that," I ordered. "You have every right to be here. You know why? Because God forgives you!"

Sweeney frowned. "How can you know that?"

"Because that's what Father John told me. Belive me, I am the worst example of a Catholic going, but I am still welcome at Church. Just because you made a few mistakes doesn't mean that you can't come to Church," I sighed as he didn't look to convinced. "Just...trust me."

The memory of what happened in the field sprung to my mind, and I knew that it had sprung to Sweeney's as well.

"So?"

His eyes flickered to mine, and there was a brief pause as he stared at me.

Finally, he spoke.

"I trust you."

* * *

><p>Thank you JDeppIsMyLovely, Comfortably Plump, Shelia Chiaroscura, CadyD, PurpleandBlackPandas and ToddLover13 for reviewing.<p>

THIS IS INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!

Marriage. 1) Do you think that Sweeney and Niamh SHOULD get married and 2) If so, who would propose to who?

Again, this is incredibly important because the story will be altered quite a bit in the storyline I have planned depending on what you guys think. Majority rules, so please please PLEASE leave your thoughts in your review. I will really appreciate the help!


	39. It Cannot Wait, I'm Yours

_**Chapter Thirty Nine**_  
><em><strong>It Cannot Wait, I'm Yours<strong>_

_Well you've done done me and you bet I felt it  
>I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted<br>I fell right through the cracks  
>and now I'm trying to get back<br>Before the cool done run out  
>I'll be giving it my bestest<br>Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention  
>I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some<em>

_I won't hesitate no more, no more  
>It cannot wait, I'm yours<br>~I'm Yours, Jason Mraz_

* * *

><p>I was woken up by my bedroom door being slammed open.<p>

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Ryan yelled at the top of his voice, running a lap of my room before charging out again. I sat up slowly, still feeling rather groggy.

"Morning."

I smiled up at Sweeney, who was already up and dressed.

"Morning," I yawned, stretching out my arms. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

Sweeney leaned down and kissed me. I immediately felt more awake.

I grinned up at him as I got up and shut my bedroom door.

"We've got Church this morning." I told him, stripping down from my pyjamas.

"I know."

I pulled on my favourite black dress, smoothing it out before sitting down in front of my mirror and reaching for my make up bag.

"We'll have breakfast first," I explained. "Then we'll go to Church. We're not allowed to open presents until we come back."

"I'm not bothered about presents."

"Oh, so you don't want the present that I got you, then?" I teased, brushing my hair and tying it into a bun.

When I dressed and ready, I slipped my feet into my biker boots - not only did they look stylish, but they were perfect for walking in the snow - and we went downstairs. The twins and Bronagh were already up, sat around the table with sausage sandwiches.

"Merry Christmas!" I sung as I walked in, Sweeney close behind me.

"Merry Christmas, love," Mum kissed my cheek and handed me a plate. "Here, get that down you. I've got one for you as well, Sweeney."

Sweeney tried to protest, but Mum simply shoved the plate into his hands, took him by the shoulders and made him sit at the table. I couldn't stop laughing.

"You are not going to Church with an empty stomach, mister," She said sternly. "You are going to eat that sandwich and you are going to enjoy it. The same applies for my Christmas lunch."

So Sweeney had no choice. He ate the sandwich, and even complimented Mum on it.

I grinned to myself; this was so brilliant. Christmas day with my family and the man I love.

Nasuea rolled over me suddenly.

"I'm very sorry Mum, but I'm going to hurl."

Jumping up from my seat, I bolted upstairs and into the bathroom, making it just in time. I didn't realise that Mum had followed me until I felt her one of her hands scraping back any loose bits of hair, the other gently rubbing my back as I threw up.

"Better out than in, girl." She joked.

When I finally stopped throwing up, I sat up and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Is my cooking really that bad?"

"Sorry," I said weakly. "Morning sickness."

"I know, love, I know," Mum replied sympathetically. "Maybe serving up greasy sausages for breakfast to a pregnant woman wasn't the best of ideas."

I immediately felt sick again.

"Please don't mention the sausages."

"Sorry."

I shifted my position so that I was no longer kneeling, plonking my bum onto the bathroom mat and leaning against the bath.

"Oh man." I moaned, closing my eyes. Mum laughed, placing a hand on my knee.

"I'm sorry to say this, Niamh, but this will only get worse before it gets better. Are you still up to Church?"

"Yeah, just...give me a minute."

"I'll get you some water."

Mum left me on the bathroom floor, my eyes shut as I tried to distract myself from the awful taste in my mouth.

I hated being pregnant.

"Are you alright?"

My eyes snapped open as I heard Sweeney's voice, and I looked up to see him stood in the doorway with a glass of water in his hand.

"I've been sick." I groaned.

"Yes, I know," Sweeney's lips twitched slightly. "You told everyone."

"Oh yeah."

Sweeney walked into the bathroom and sat opposite me, handing me the glass of water.

"I'm warning you now, we are never having another child."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Worse."

I sipped my water, washing away the vile burning sensation in my throat, before speaking again.

"I must say that this has been the most interesting Christmas morning so far."

Sweeney simply shook his head as he stood up, holding his hand out.

"Come on."

I had another sip of water before reaching out and taking his hand, letting him pull me up. I continued sipping my water as we walked downstairs.

When the vile taste was finally gone from my mouth and the nasuea was gone, I grabbed my coat and faced my family. Mum and Bronagh didn't seem too bothered about the fact that I had been sick, but the twins were grinning from ear to ear.

"I warn you now," I said sternly, pointing at them. "If either of you says _anything _about my pregnancy and/or morning sickness, I will cut off your testicles and feed them to you for lunch."

They were smart enough to know that I wasn't joking.

I kept my hand in Sweeney's as the family trudged through the snow, leaning against him. I didn't feel too great after havng just thrown up, and being with him made me feel sort of better.

"Are you alright?" He murmured in my ear.

"I'm fine, just feeling a bit bleh after throwing up."

"Bleh?"

"It's like meh, just a bit more sickly."

Sweeney frowned, but didn't question me. I was thankful; I really wasn't in the mood to have to explain everything.

When we reached Church, Mum stopped us all in the doorway, ordering us to take off our coats, hats and scarves while kneeling down to help Ryan. I shrugged out of my coat and hung it up, the twins following suit. Bronagh took a little longer; she was so worried about getting cold that she put several layers and was having a hard time getting them all off.

Once she was finally ready, Mum ordered us to be on our best behaviour before leading us into the Church.

"Doesn't this remind of you when we were kids?" I whispered to the twins.

"Definately." The mumbled back in unison.

Mum shot us a warning look over her shoulder, sitting down near the front. The twins grimaced at me, and I had to hide my giggles.

They kept their silliness up for most of the service, making comments under their breaths and pulling faces. Mum was totally oblivious, but I was red in the face from trying to stifle my giggles. I was glad when it was time to say the Lord's prayer; I could duck my head and grin.

When the service finally ended, Mum got up to talk to the priest while I took Ryan to get his coat on. This also meant that I could laugh freely.

"What's so funny, sis?" Ciaran asked with a wide grin.

"Share the joke, Niamh." Eoghan added.

"You two are such idiots," I told them, kneeling down to help Ryan. "You do realise that Mum will kill when she finds out."

"Aha, now that is where you are wrong!"

"Oh?"

The twins grinned. "_If _she finds out." Eoghan corrected.

"Which she won't." Ciaran said.

"Of course, how stupid of me," I replied dryly. I rolled my eyes and stood up, holding out my hand to Ryan. "Come on, little man, let's go get Mum."

"No need," Bronagh announced as she joined the twins, Sweeney and I. "She's on her way."

"Oh, good."

The twins didn't bother waiting for Mum, instead choosing to charge outside and start throwing snowballs at each other. I raised my eyebrows and looked at Bronagh, who was mirroring my expression.

"They'll never grow up, will they?"

"No, probably not."

"What are you all doing just standing around?" Mum demanded when she finally joined us. "Come on, I need to get lunch on!"

Sweeney walked by my side as Mum ushered us out of the Church, shouting at the twins for messing around in the snow. Bronagh sped up and walked with them, joining in their games, while Ryan clung to my hand.

"You alright, little man?" I asked, looking down at him as he stumbled again.

"No," He grumbled. "I need another person to help me walk."

"Hey, why don't you hold Sweeney's hand as well? He's big and strong, so you won't fall over."

Sweeney glared at me, and I simply smiled back at him. Ryan's face lit up.

"Yes please!"

"Come on," I ordered Sweeney. "Help Ryan."

His jaw tightening, Sweeney walked to Ryan's other side and held his hand out. Ryan beamed up at him as he took it, and I could see Sweeney's lips twitch slightly.

"It's good practise for when we're parents." I teased. He raised any eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

"Nim,"

"Yeah?"

"Can you and Sweeney swing me? Please!"

I laughed. "Sure thing, little man," I looked up at Sweeney, who simply nodded once. "Ok, get ready Ryan!"

Ryan squealed as Sweeney and I swung him forwards, holding tight onto his gloved hands. Laughing, he crouched down, insisting that we did it again and again and again.

"Is this also good practise for when we are parents?"

"Of course."

When we got home, the twins hurtled into the living room, Ryan releasing our hands and following them. I laughed, taking Sweeney's hand in my own as we followed.

"Alright, settle down!" Mum ordered. "Ciaran, Eoghan, put those presents down! Ryan, sit down now!"

Sweeney and I took a seat on the sofa, Ryan jumping in between us with a wide grin on his face. I laughed again, ruffling his hair.

"Ciaran, Eoghan! Sit down!"

When the twins finally sat down on the floor, Mum began handing out our stockings.

"Here you go Sweeney," She said, holding out a stocking. "I wasn't sure what sort of thing that you liked, so if there is something that you don't, just say. I won't be offended."

"Thank you." Sweeney murmured, taking the stocking from her while staring at it incredulously. He glanced at me, and I smiled up at him.

"You're family." I whispered to him.

Mum really went to town on my stocking; I recieved various nail varnishes, earrings, sweets, socks, lip gloss, perfume, a key ring in the shape of a four leaf clover and a scented hand cream. Bronagh's stocking was fairly similar.

Sweeney got socks, sweets, a new leather wallet, _Dracula _- "No offence, love, but you seem to be one for horror stories!" - a watch, a mug, shower gel and deodrant. Again, the twins got the same, _Dracula _replaced with _Kerrang _magazines. Ryan's was filled with childish things, plastic trucks and packets of sweets and a _Thomas the Tank Engine _magazine, along with other things.

"Hey, Niamh, what have you got us?" Ciaran demanded once he had finished with his stocking, eyeing the large bag tucked down the side of the sofa. I laughed.

"Never you mind, bro. You'll get the presents in good time."

"But we want them now!" Eoghan wailed.

I looked up at Mum, who nodded with a laugh. "Go on, or they'll pounce on you."

I rolled my eyes, but reached down and picked up the bag. "Here you go."

I threw the presents at the twins, who caught them and immediately began tearing into them. I handed out the rest of the presents - Mum's, Ryan's and Bronagh's - before turning to Sweeney.

"This," I said. "Is for you."

With a large smile, I handed Sweeney his present. He frowned, taking it from me.

"Why did you buy me this?"

"I didn't, it's a sort of...home made present."

Sweeney frowned again, staring at the present in his hands.

"Go on, open it!"

He glanced up at me before carefully peeling away the wrapping paper. I grinned.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes." He whispered, staring down at it.

Not long ago, I got a photo of the two of us. I had smooshed our faces together, his blank with a hint of amusement in his eyes while I beamed stupidly, stretched my arm out and taken a photo on my digital camera. It turned out to be a great photo, so I got it enlarged and stuck it into a pretty silver frame.

"Thank you." He said quietly, leaning down and kissing my cheek. I beamed up at him.

"Cor, thanks Niamh!"

"Yeah, cheers!"

The twins examined their DVD box sets with wide grins. The pair of them _loved _horror films, and there was a stall in Camden selling box sets cheap.

"Glad you like them."

"Oh wow!" Bronagh cried, jumping up and holding the dress that I got her against her. "Niamh, this is great! Thank you so much!" Bronagh swooped down on me and kissed my cheek, wrapping her arms around my neck. I laughed, hugging her back.

"You're very welcome, kid."

Mum was very pleased with her matching earrings and necklace, and Ryan positively _loved _the train set. I loved all the presents that I recieved in return, and couldn't stop laughing at the maternity trousers the twins got me for a joke.

"I'll wear these and think of you." I teased, throwing the trousers at them.

"Niamh,"

I smiled at Sweeney. "Yeah?"

Sweeney was silent as he reached into his trouser pocket and held out a box, an emerald ribbon tied around it. I grinned up at him.

"What's this?"

"Open it."

I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I undid the ribbon and opened the box, gasping.

"Sweeney, it's beautiful!"

Nestled on a bed of velvet was a necklace, a large silver heart with a rose engraved into it hanging in the chain. I lifted the necklace from the box, my mouth open as it glistened in the light.

"I love it." I whispered. Sweeney's lips wore a hint of a smile as he reached forwards, took the necklace from me and put it around my neck, gently kissing my cheek.

"Ooh, I never knew that you had such good taste," Mum teased. "You've got a keeper here, Niamh."

I grinned. "I know, right?"

So while Mum got up and made lunch, we sat in the living room. The twins set up their new gaming console, Bronagh curled up in an armchair with one of her new books and I helped Ryan set up his new train set. Sweeney sat with us, watching the little mechanical train move along the track.

"Niamh, can you help me with the veg please?"

"Sure." Smiling at Sweeney and Ryan, I got up from the floor and joined Mum in the kitchen. She was playing music as she prepared the turkey.

"I knew that I should've done this last night!" She said, rolling her eyes. I laughed.

"Nah, that would be way too sensible."

I began peeling the veg for Mum, listening to her chatter.

"That necklace is beautiful, love."

I grinned, automatically brushing my necklace with my fingertips. "I know it is. I must say that I'm surprised."

"Why?"

"I guess that I didn't really expect Sweeney to be so..._romantic._ I mean, he does the whole romance thing, but not like this."

"Well, actions do speak louder than words."

"Wow, Mum, that was _deep._"

Mum laughed and glanced around the doorway of the kitchen. "I must say, Ryan has certainly taken a shine to him."

I joined her in the doorway, grinning. Ryan had somehow ended up sat in Sweeney's lap while they watched the train, looking pretty content.

"He does have a way with children." I joked; Sweeney's expression was far from comfortable.

"He's a bloke, what did you expect?"

* * *

><p>"Ooh, this looks yummy." Bronagh said as Mum and I began serving the food. Each plate had some turkey, but the rest everyone else could help themselves to.<p>

"Hey, who's going to fight Niamh for the biggest potato?" Eoghan asked with a large grin. I grinned back; I was infamous for my love of potatoes. I once stabbed Eoghan in the hand with my fork when he tried to take the last potato.

"No one, if they know what's good for them." I said, brandishing my serving spoon. Everyone apart from Sweeney, who looked incredibly confused, laughed.

"We'll fill you in, mate."

While Ciaran and Eoghan explained the story to Sweeney, I served up Ryan's lunch.

"I never knew that you were so dangerous, Niamh." Sweeney said with a hint of amusement.

"Yeah, well, you've been warned."

"Stabby stab!" Ryan cried, throwing his arms up in the air, one of which he held his plastic fork. I took said fork from him.

"Uh, no," I said sternly. "No stabby stab. Leave stabby stab to the big people."

Lunch was great, as usual, and even Sweeney helped himself to seconds. The twins flicked peas at each other and at me, Bronagh fussed about eating so much that she wouldn't fit into her skinny jeans, Ryan played with his carrots and Mum kept loosing her rag. But it was still fun.

"Jeez Mum, I think I'm going to have a food baby as well as this one," I said, rubbing my stomach. "I am _stuffed._"

"I'm having food _twins_." Bronagh groaned, leaning back in her seat.

"I'm having triplets." Eoghan announced.

"I'm having all your babies put together!" Ciaran cried, laughing an evil laugh while rubbing his hands together. I threw a pea at him.

"Niamh!"

"Sorry, Mum."

We decided to have a rest before we even contemplated any kind of dessert. The twins lolled around on the sofa, flicking through crappy telly, while Bronagh curled up on the armchair again. Ryan began playing with his train set again.

I slipped my feet back into my biker boots and pulled on my hoodie before slipping outside through the back door, completely unnoticed. I shut the door behind me and stood in the back garden.

It was snowing.

I smiled to myself as I wrapped my arms around myself, gazing up at the dark sky as little snowflakes fell down, hitting the ground. My boots crunched in the snow as I took another step forwards.

Behind me, I could hear the door open and shut, followed by footsteps.

"Niamh?"

"I've always loved the snow," I said dreamily. "I've always thought it was so beautiful. Cold, but beautiful. A bit like you."

Sweeney walked forwards so that he was stood behind me. "Like me." He repeated quietly. I nodded.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

I continued to gaze up at the sky with a small smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sweeney step forwards, standing infront of me.

"Niamh, look at me."

I tore my gaze from the sky to meet Sweeney's dark eyes, focused on my face. We were both silent for a moment.

"I'm looking at you." I announced.

Sweeney sighed as he reached into his pocket. I frowned, watching him as my brow furrowed.

He pulled out a box.

"Sweeney..."

My mouth fell open as he got down on one knee and lifted the lid of the box, revealing a small diamond ring. I stared at him.

"Niamh Olivia Quinn," He said, his eyes keeping contact with mine. "I love you. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Marry me."

"What?"

"Marry me." He repeated, staring up at me.

"Are you being serious?" I whispered.

"I couldn't be anymore so."

I continued to stare down at him. "Are you _insane_?"

"Niamh, I - "

"You _idiot_! I'm pregnant! I'll be all fat and tired when we get married!"

"We can have the wedding after - "

"No! Because I'll be even more tired! And the baby fat doesn't just _disappear_, does it? Why are you proposing to me now? I hate you!"

At this point, frustrated tears were trickling down my cheeks. Sweeney shut the box as he stood up. Putting the box away into his pocket, he placed his hands either side of my face and made me look up at him.

"I love you," He said quietly. "I couldn't care less if you're pregnant or not walking down the aisle because _I love you_."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"I am saying it because it is the truth."

I continued crying, unable to think of anything to say. Sweeney's forehead rested against mine as his thumbs brushed away the tears.

"I love you."

Pulling away, I wiped the tears off my face and squeezed my eyes shut, composing myself.

"I don't hate you," I mumbled, opening my eyes. "Go on, ask me again."

Sweeney's lips twitched slightly as he got back down on one knee and retrieved the ring.

"Niamh Olivia Quinn," He repeated. "Will you marry me?"

A wide smile spread across my face.

"Yes. I will," I beamed. "I'll marry you!"

Sweeney grinned as he slipped the ring onto my finger, standing up and placing his hands either side of my face once more.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too."

And then I kissed him.

* * *

><p>Thank you ToddLover13, JDeppIsMyLovely, Samuel Fox, Shelia Chiaroscura, Comfortably Plump, TheBrightsider, PurpleandBlackPandas, CadyD and Erica Lovett.<p>

So, as you have probably guessed, a majority of you said that you WOULD like them to get and, obviously, Sweeney should propose. Hopefully he wasn't too OOC when proposing - that took some serious work!

Niamh's heart & rose necklace: h t t p : / / w w w . r o k c h i x . c o m / p r o d u c t p i c s / s m i t t e n p i c s / S i l v e r R o s e H e a r t N e c k l a c e . j p g

Engagement ring: h t t p : / / f a r m 4 . s t a t i c . f l i c k r . c o m / 3 2 7 1 / 3 0 9 2 0 0 2 1 0 3 _ a 1 b b e 3 0 c 6 b . j p g


	40. Well If You Wanted Honesty

_**Chapter Fourty  
><strong>__**Well If You Wanted Honesty**_

_Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.  
>I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.<br>~I'm Not Okay (I Promise), My Chemical Romance_

* * *

><p>I was six months pregnant, the size of a house and incredibly hormonal.<p>

Not to mention, stressed.

Stressed about work.

Stressed about the wedding.

Stressed about being pregnant.

Stressed about life in general.

"Sweeney!"

"Yes?"

"Where's my necklace?"

Sweeney paused in the doorway of the bedroom as I threw back the covers of my duvet, my pillows flying to the floor.

"Which one? You have several."

"This isn't the time for jokes," I snapped irritably. "The one that you gave me."

"Where did you last leave it?"

"Would I be looking if I knew that?"

Sweeney was silent as he walked away. I let out a frustrated groan.

"Don't you dare start." I growled as the baby started kicking. This baby was definately a boy.

I managed to make the bedroom look as if it had been hit by a bomb, but I didn't find my necklace.

Feeling incredibly annoyed, I stormed from my bedroom to the kitchen, which was incredibly difficult to do considering that I was heavily pregnant. I more...waddled rather than stormed. I was angry, and that's all I cared about.

Lying on the counter was my necklace.

"I've found it." I called, snatching it up and joining Sweeney in the living room.

"Where was it?"

"In the kitchen," I snapped. "Why didn't you look in there? You idiot! We could've saved a lot of time and my room being overturned if you had just checked in here!"

"Don't talk to me like that, Niamh." Sweeney replied quietly, his voice dangerously low. I snorted.

"Why? What are you going to do?"

When Sweeney didn't answer, I shook my head while laughing without humour.

"That's it, just ignore me. Or better yet, why don't you slit my throat and stuff me into a pie?"

Sweeney's eyes flashed up to mine, furious. Sudden fear took over me as his fists clenched and he stormed forwards. I took a step back, but he didn't even look at me as he left.

"Look, I'm sorry!" I called after him, but it was too late.

Sighing, I leaned against the doorframe and ran a hand through my hair.

Jeez Niamh, way to be an insensitive cow.

Oh well, he'd get over it.

Mum always used to tell the twins and I when we were young "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." This usually applied to when we were fighting because someone called the other a nasty name or whatnot.

I suppose that it was one of the few lessons that I ignored.

I asked Dad about the saying. His reply was a loud snort and a retort of "You're not going to get anywhere in life by being nice. Sometimes you've got to be mean to get your point across."

Thinking about Dad made my chest restrict uncomfortably, and I scuffed my feet against the floorboards. What with everything going on, I didn't really think about my Dad much anymore.

Sighing, I grabbed my incredibly large jumper that I got when I started showing, pulling it over my head as I picked up my bag.

I needed ice cream and a girly chat.

* * *

><p>"Seriously, Niamh?"<p>

I looked up from the menu at Anna, who was watching me disapprovingly.

"What?"

"I hardly think that the baby will benefit from an ice cream sundae."

"No, but I will."

"At least have something to eat first."

"Please Anna, I've been craving ice cream," I whined. "My baby _needs _ice cream. It's saying _please mummy, feed me ice cream._"

Anna laughed, snatching the menu from me. "You are such a nutter."

"Can I have ice cream?"

"Fine."

I beamed, snatching the menu back. Anna rolled her eyes and picked up the spare menu. The two of us were chilling in an American style diner together, lounging in one of the booths.

"So what are you having?" She asked.

"Mmm...double chocolate, cookies and cream and..." I paused. "Fudge."

Anna raised her eyebrows. "Your baby is going to be so fat."

"I'd rather you didn't insult my son like that, thank you very much."

"I thought that you didn't know the gender of your baby."

"Not for definate," I said. "But I have a feeling that it's a boy."

"Is this a feeling or are you _convinced _that it's a boy?"

I grinned. "Convinced. Incredibly so."

"What about Sweeney?"

My grin faded slightly as my hand rested on my stomach by instinct. Anna raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything.

"He isn't too fussed."

"What have you done now?"

"What? How come you automatically presume that I'm the one that has done something wrong?" I demanded, insulted.

"This is you we're talking about Niamh," Anna retorted. "The girl that made a point of taking a rosary into Science to piss off our teacher."

"She was a cow." I scowled.

"And so are you at times. So what happened?"

I sighed. "Basically, I thought that I lost my necklace. I found it in the kitchen and then started blaming Sweeney for wasting time by not looking there in the first place. He told me not to talk to him like that and...I brought up his past."

"Something offensive that would hurt to bring up again?"

"Yep."

"Well done, Niamh."

That was what I loved about Anna; she didn't expect me to go into every last detail, especially when it came to Sweeney.

"So...what do I do?" I asked as a waiter appeared. I waited impatiently as he scribbled down our orders and, with a flirty smile in Anna's direction, left. I rolled my eyes.

"That waiter was so flirting with you." I muttered. Anna's cheeks turned red.

"I know! It's so weird."

"Why?"

"Because usually it's you men are grinning at and flirting with."

"Anna, in case you haven't noticed, I am six months pregnant and engaged. No man in his right mind is going to flirt with me," I pointed out. "Moving on, what the hell am I going to do?"

"Grovel, and do a lot of it. Sweeney strikes me as the kind of guy that holds grudges."

"Understatement of the century." I muttered darkly.

"You guys are just a little stressed," Anna continued as if I hadn't spoken. "You're pregnant and you've got to organize the wedding. It's only natural that you start snapping at each other. Just apologise and give it a little time. Things will sort themselves out."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

I frowned, not even cheering up when the waiter came back with our ice cream. I nibbled on the wafer anxiously, the look in Sweeney's eyes flashing through my mind.

"I don't think that I'm any good for Sweeney."

"What?" Anna stared up at me incredulously. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"I just keep hurting him," I murmured. "The first thing that we did when we met was have a massive argument. How is that a good start to a relationship?"

"Niamh, you can't - "

"And our first kiss was, like, a day after he told me about his dead wife!"

"So you - "

"David. Need I say more? That was the biggest mistake of my life."

"But he's - "

"Why am I marrying him? I'm no good for him. I'm just going to hurt him like I keep hurting him and - "

"Niamh, shut up!" Anna ordered.

I blinked, stopping mid-rant. Anna sighed in relief, holding out my spoon.

"Take this and eat your God damn ice cream."

Still silent, I took the spoon from her and began eating my ice cream as she talked.

"Right, Niamh, you and Sweeney are meant for each other," Anna said firmly. "Yes, you have both messed up at points and, yes, you have hurt him before. But hasn't he hurt you?"

I opened my mouth to talk, but Anna held her hand up.

"I'm not finished. What I'm saying is that you are getting married to this man for a _reason._ You are getting married because you guys are _in love_. He didn't just propose to you for the sake of it, he proposed to you because he worships the ground that you walk on. He might not say so, but he so obviously does!"

Again, I opened my mouth. Anna gave me a warning look, and I immediately shut it again.

"So stop whining and wallowing in self pity. Just because you're frickin' pregnant doesn't mean that you can whine and complain and generally be a bitch, which is what you're doing. Sort yourself out, Niamh."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Ok, Theo, you can take the wig off now."

Anna responded by throwing a scrunched up napkin at me.

* * *

><p>I knew where Sweeney would be when I got home, and I knew what he would be doing.<p>

Parking the car, I glanced in my rearview mirror and saw them.

The children.

Nellie and the little boy.

I climbed out from the car and locked it before turning to face them, my expression blank.

I kept my eyes on the boy.

He stared straight back at me, the smirk appearing on his lips once more.

Sweeney's smirk.

"I know who you are," I muttered under my breath, keeping my eyes on him. "I know exactly who you are."

Without another word, I turned my back on them and made my way up the wooden stairs.

"We need to talk." I announced the moment the door was shut behind me.

Sweeney didn't reply, keeping his eyes on his razor. I scowled.

"There are three of us in this relationship."

"How so?"

"Well, there's me, there's you...and then there's that _thing._"

Sweeney's eyes flickered in my direction, darkening as I insulted his razors. I snorted.

"Don't bother denying it then."

He remained silent. I folded my arms across my chest with great difficulty.

"I'm sorry that I said what I said, but you can't hide up here and stare at your razors all day when you're in a mood with me."

"You act as if you know the full story," Sweeney muttered darkly. "When you barely know half of it."

"Who is Nellie?"

Sweeney visibly stiffened. "What?"

"Who is Nellie?" I repeated.

He turned to face me with a dark look in his eyes. "How do you know about her?"

"The children across the street," I said. "The day I came to view this shop, I met a little girl called Nellie. A little girl with curly hair and a Cockney accent. Does any of this sound familiar to you?"

"Mrs Lovett." He muttered under his breath.

"What?"

Sweeney was silent as his eyes wandered from mine, staring into space with a mildly horrified expression on his face.

"Sweeney, listen to me," I ordered. "You cannot tell me that I don't know the full story and then refuse to tell me anything. I want to know the full story. I _need _to know."

There was a long pause, in which Sweeney seemed to be undergoing a silent battle with himself. I waited, keeping my eyes on him at all times.

"Fine." He finally muttered.

Without a word, I brushed past him and took a seat on the sofa; I couldn't stand up any longer. Sweeney paced back and forth for a moment before speaking.

"I loved Lucy," He began, speaking in a low voice while avoiding eye contact with me at all times. "I loved her so much. But I was a different man..." He paused. "Benjamin Barker."

Benjamin Barker...

I stared at Sweeney, unable to picture him as anyone else, but remained silent.

"Lucy was beautiful, and I was...naive."

"Naive?" I repeated quietly, my brow furrowing.

"Turpin," Sweeney spat furiously. "Judge Turpin. That pious vulture of the law sent me away and claimed Lucy for his own. I spent fifteen years sweating in a living hell on a false charge. Fifteen years dreaming that I would return to a wife and child."

Tears were brimming in my eyes as I spoke. "What happened to them?"

"Lucy poisoned herself. Turpin took Johanna and raised her as his own."

I frowned; didn't Sweeney tell me that he had killed his wife? Was he lying when he said that she poisoned herself?

"What did you do?" I dared ask, my voice barely a whisper.

Sweeney stopped pacing, standing by the window and staring out with a pained expression.

"I moved in Mrs Lovett, my landlady," A sarcastic smirk spread across his face as he snorted. "Mrs Nellie Lovett. She was a witch from hell, the Devil's wife."

I had never heard Sweeney sound so..._bitter _about anyone before.

Seeing my confused expression, Sweeney's face softened slightly.

Only slightly.

"She lied to me," He explained quietly. "She told me that Lucy was dead. It was her idea to kill customers and turn them into pies. It was all for _her _benefit."

"Why did she...?" My voice trailed off as realisation dawned on me. "She loved you."

"If you can call whatever the woman felt for me love, then yes."

I chewed on my bottom lip. "You thought Lucy was dead...so you killed her..."

"I thought that she was a mere beggar woman," Sweeney shut his eyes before continuing. "I was going to kill Turpin. I was going to avenge my wife."

"And she got in your way."

It was a statement, not a question.

There was a brief pause as I allowed everything to sink in, my head pounding.

"What happened to Johanna?"

"She left. She left with a sailor boy."

"That boy...when I rescued you, there was a little boy that..." I paused, swallowing. "That slit your throat. And I heard screaming and - " I paused again, thinking back to that night. "Oh God..."

"Mrs Lovett took the boy in after I killed his master, Signor Pirelli. He was a simple thing...but smart enough to work out what I was doing. He killed me after I - "

"You killed Mrs Lovett, didn't you? That was her screaming..."

He nodded once.

The tears in my eyes trickled down my cheeks, and I didn't bother brushing them away as I simply sat there, everything sinking in.

"I'm sorry," I finally whispered. "I'm so...sorry. I had no idea."

Sweeney simply stared at me in silence as I cried for him.

"Sweeney," I begged. "Sweeney, come here."

I stretched my hand out desperately, and that seemed to make an impact on him. He walked forwards, taking my hand and allowing me to pull him down on the sofa next to me. Still crying, I wrapped my arms around him and cuddled into his chest.

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I'm so sorry about today. I'm sorry that I was so horrid earlier."

Sweeney silently stroked my hair, gently rocking me back and forth.

"Please, tell me that there are no more secrets," I pleaded, sitting up and placing my hands either side of his face. "Tell me that I know everything."

"There are no more secrets."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

Closing my eyes, I allowed my hands to drop from his face to my lap. I took in a deep breath and calmed myself down, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Niamh,"

I looked up as Sweeney spoke softly.

"Yeah?"

"Are you alright?"

"No. Are you?"

"No."

I let out a sad sounding laugh, cuddling into him again.

"I think that we should just sit here for a bit and be not alright together."

"I agree."

I shut my eyes, leaning against him as his arms tightened around me, pulling me closer.

"I love you," I mumbled sleepily.

"I love you too."

Adjusting my position, I yawned.

"Sweeney,"

"Yes?"

"We'll be alright, won't we? As parents, I mean."

Sweeney kissed the top of my head. "I couldn't imagine anyone more suited to be a mother than you."

"You'll be a great dad as well," I yawned again. "You might not think it, but you will be. I promise."

With that, I fell into a blissful sleep.

It wouldn't have been so blissful if I had known what was to come weeks after our wedding.

* * *

><p>Thank you CadyD, ToddLover13, PurpleandBlackPandas and TeenySweeney for reviewing!<p>

CadyD - I know what the common law marriage is because my mum and her partner were together for years (before they split up last year) and were seen as a married couple in the eyes on the law. It's quite smart, I think!

Next chapter, the Demon Baby Of Fleet Street will make an entrance! I think that there will only be around ten more chapters before this fic is finished though, because there is still a bit I need to fit in before the end :( However, I will dedicate two of them to the wedding, just for you guys!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	41. You're Just Like An Angel

_**Chapter Forty One  
><strong>__**You're Just Like An Angel**_

_You're just like an angel  
><em>_Your skin makes me cry  
><em>_You float like a feather  
><em>_In a beautiful world  
><em>_~Creep, Radiohead_

* * *

><p>"When was the last time you painted your toe nails?" Anna teased.<p>

"Just before I turned into a walking beach ball." I moaned.

Nine months pregnant; the baby would be due any time soon.

Anna laughed, adding the finishing touches to my nail. I smiled at her gratefully, leaning back against a large pile of cushions.

"Are you sure you're not having twins?" She asked jokingly. "You're bloody huge."

"I'm sure, I checked with the nurse when I went for my scan. I only have one baby."

_Thank God, _I added mentally. One baby would be hard enough to look after, let alone two.

"I told you that eating all that ice cream would make your baby fat."

"He'll work it all off."

Anna raised her eyebrows. "Still convinced it's a boy?"

"Anna, I am not _convinced. _I _know._"

She laughed, shaking her head. "I'm going to get a drink. Want one?"

"Please."

Lying back, I shut my eyes and enjoyed a brief moment of silence. Sweeney was out with Theo, getting fitted for their suits, so Anna came to keep me company. It was nice knowing that if I suddenly went into labour, I wouldn't be alone.

I gasped.

My thoughts were interupted by something that sort of felt like a menstrual cramp, as well as an ache in my lower back and pressure on my pelvis.

A contraction.

Thankfully, it only lasted around thirty seconds and was fairly mild.

Maybe it was a false alarm.

A few minutes went by, but I didn't suffer from any more contractions. I assured myself that it was nothing more than a false alarm, shutting my eyes once more.

I felt another contraction, again lasting around thirty seconds. I glanced at the clock; fifteen minutes had passed.

Shortly afterwards, I felt another, only less mild.

Shit.

"Anna!" I called worridedly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going into labour!"

The effect was immediate.

Anna came rushing into the room, her eyes wide.

"Shit! Oh God! What do we do?"

"Calm down," I said. "I don't have to go to hospital yet. Just...help me up and I'll tell you what to pack."

Anna helped me up from the sofa, keeping a firm grip on my hand as we walked to my bedroom together. I paced back and forth as Anna unzipped my bag and opened my wardrobe. I was just thankful for the distractions.

"Which pyjamas do you want? Your black cotton ones or your silk green ones?"

"Black cotton," I decided. "My green ones are my favourite."

Anna took the pyjamas from the drawer, folded them up and put them in my bag. I gave her a reassuring smile as I paced.

"Put in my grey tracksuits," I directed. "And my knitted jumper from Mum. See that black t-shirt there? No, not that one, the one next to it. Yeah, that one. Put that in as well."

Anna folded my clothes and put them into the bag before retrieving socks and underwear while I retrieved my mobile and rung the Theo.

It didn't take long for him to answer.

"Hey gorgeous, if you're planning on using my mobile to tell your husband to be how much you miss him, you can fuck off."

"No Theo, I'm planning on using your mobile to tell you that I am in God damn labour."

Immediately, Theo began panicking.

"Oh God! Oh no, are you really? Are you sure it isn't just a false alarm? Niamh, you can't be having the baby now! Why are you having it now? We're in the middle of having our suits fitted and - "

"And you're having a total gay boy panic! Tell Sweeeny and get home as fast as you can, ok? I'm not going to hospital just yet."

With that, I hung up. I really couldn't be dealing with Theo.

My contractions continued until the afternoon. I had a quick bath to help calm me down and, by the time I was finished, Sweeney and Theo were back. While Theo was panicking, Sweeney seemed quite calm.

I clung to his hand as he sat on the sofa next to me, resting my head on his shoulder.

"This is it," I whispered. "We're going to parents."

Time passed, and I felt more and more on edge as it did. I couldn't sit still; I had to get up and walk around. Theo had finally calmed down, and he and Anna were flicking through the TV channels. After a while, they finally decided on a film.

_The Hunchback of Notre Dame. _

Groaning, I snatched the remote from them and changed the channel.

"I am going to be watching a hell of a lot of these _Disney _films with my child," I growled. "I am not watching them when I am in - " I cut myself off.

Oh God.

"Niamh?"

"Niamh, what is it?"

I looked up slowly, my eyes wide with horror.

"I think my water just broke."

* * *

><p>Oh God.<p>

Oh _God._

These contractions were pure _hell. _

They were long and intense, pain taking over my body and claiming it for its own.

Why didn't I have the damn epidural?

I thought that I would be considered brave and strong, refusing a pain killer. I thought that other mums would admire me when I said, "I had my child naturally, no pain killers involved." But now, clinging onto Sweeney's and Anna's hands, I seriously regretted this choice.

"Shit!" I gasped. "Shit shit shit shit _shit_!"

"That's it, Niamh, let it all out." Anna said comfortingly.

I pushed with all my might, my face squeezed in pain.

This had gone on far too long. I was tired. I had been pushed for beyond my limits, and it wasn't over yet.

"One more big push, Niamh," The nurse encouraged. "One more big push and it'll be over."

I suddenly felt eerily calm.

In pain, but calm.

After nine months...my baby was going to be enter the world.

After everything, _everything_, that had happened, I was going to be a Mum.

I pushed.

It was as if the room was silent, silent apart from a wail that wasn't mine.

_Liam_.

"I did it." I whispered, leaning back and loosening my grip on Sweeney's and Anna's hands.

"You did it." Sweeney agreed, kissing the side of my head.

"Well done, Niamh."

"Congratulations, you two," The nurse announced. "It's a girl."

A girl?

Theo burst out laughing, clapping his hands together, while Anna grinned.

"After all this time saying it was going to be a boy!" She teased.

I laughed. I couldn't help it.

After all this time, months of saying that my baby was going to be a boy and...it was a girl.

A baby girl.

I cradled her in my arms, staring down at her.

A baby girl.

_My _baby girl.

"She's so beautiful." I whispered, looking up at Sweeney. Anna and Theo had tactfully snuck out, probably to sit in the cafe for a bit.

"Yes," He agreed quietly. "She is."

"Robyn," I tried, hugging my daughter close. "Robyn Johanna Todd. Do you still like it?"

"Of course. Do you?"

"I love it."

Robyn.

After Robyn was cleaned, I held her again, wrapped in a soft white blanket.

Robyn was so beautiful.

I laughed softly, and Sweeney looked at me quizically.

"Lucky thing," I said softly. "She escaped the dreaded ginger curse!"

Sweeney's lips twitched as he gently stroked the tufts of black hair on Robyn's head.

"She's so pale."

I compared my skin, which was fairly pale, to Robyn's. It was true; she was incredibly pale.

"I blame you." I teased.

"She has your eyes, though."

I smiled down at Robyn. Her eyes were the same sort of blue-green that mine were, large and framed by thick eyelashes.

"Here," I said, holding her out. "Take her."

Sweeney looked up at me with mild alarm in his eyes, and I frowned.

"She's your daughter. There's no need to look so afraid."

Frowning, Sweeney took Robyn from me and gently cradled her in his arms, as if he was afraid that she would break should he hold her too tightly. I smiled, leaning back against the pillows and watching.

It took seconds for Sweeney to become more comfortable with Robyn, holding her close to his chest and gazing down at her with what could only be called adoration. His lips twitched slightly as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Robyn," He whispered. "Robyn Todd."

I smiled again, reaching out and weaving my hand into his.

"Let's make a promise, yeah? Let's promise that our daughter is going to have the best life that we could possibly give her. Nothing is going to harm her," I grinned. "Not while _we're _around."

"I promise."

Sweeney's eyes met mine, and he smiled at me. I smiled back.

"Come lie with me."

"Niamh, I don't think - "

"Please," I interupted. "I just want to lie down with my daughter and husband to be for a bit."

So, handing Robyn to me, Sweeney climbed onto the bed and lay next to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and I lay Robyn down on my chest, holding her close. She seemed pretty content, letting out a small yawn and burying her face into me.

"_Nothing's gonna harm you,_" I sung softly as Robyn drifted off to sleep. "_Not while we're around. Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while we're around._"

And nothing would harm her.

Not while Sweeney and I were around.

* * *

><p>Thank you TeenySweeney, PurpleandBlackPandas, CadyD, ToddLover13, luckyroxy, TheBrightsider, Shelia Chiaroscura and Erica Lovett for reviewing!<p> 


	42. Baby Mine, Don't You Cry

_**Chapter Forty Two  
><strong>__**Baby Mine, Don't You Cry**_

_Baby mine, don't you cry  
>Baby mine, dry your eyes<br>Rest your head close to my heart  
>Never to part, baby of mine<br>~Baby Mine, Dumbo soundtrack_

* * *

><p>When I woke up in my hospital bed, the first thing I did was roll over and grin at Sweeney.<p>

"Morning Dad." I teased.

"Morning Mum."

I beamed. "I really can't used to that, can you?"

"No, I suppose not."

Sweeney offered to get us breakfast from a cafe; the hospital food was simply _disgusting. _With a small smile, I accepted.

While he was out getting breakfast, I got up from my bed and wandered to Robyn's cot. She was still asleep, her tiny fists clenched. I smiled to myself, reaching out with one finger to gently stroke her cheek.

She was so beautiful.

I scooped her up in my arms and held her close to me, loving the way her tufts of hair brushed against my cheek as I adjusted her position. She squirmed slightly, letting out a mew of protest, but thankfully remained asleep.

"Hello darling," I murmured, hugging her close. "Are you having a nice sleep?"

I laughed to myself, wandering over to the window with Robyn in my arms.

"This is your home, Robyn," I continued. "This is London. We're going to live here forever because it's the town that I met your daddy. You'll love Camden Market. You're going to be one of the cool alternative kids, aren't you?"

I laughed to myself at the thought of a teenage daughter coming home with dreadlocks in her hair, too many piercings to count in her ears and biker boots that raised her height by several inches.

I then laughed even more at the thought of Sweeney's reaction.

"I won't care whatever style you want to take on," I said. "As long as I know that you're comfortable and you're a nice person underneath it all." I paused before hastily adding. "But I will not be happy if you start walking around in tiny skirts that look like belts and even smaller tops."

Like _I _did when I was in year nine.

I blushed at the very memory of it. What was I thinking?

A gentle knock at the door made me turn around and, to my surprise, Mum poked her head around the door.

"Sweeney found me downstairs." She explained with a wide grin.

"Hey Mum."

She walked in, closely followed by Sweeney, who was carrying a brown paper bag with our breakfast. He was followed by Theo and Anna.

"We have gifts!" Theo announced with a grin.

"First, we are going to have breakfast," Mum ordered. "Niamh, put her down and sit down."

I was reluctant to do so but, after placing a quick kiss on her forehead, I lay Robyn down in her cot. I then clambered back onto the bed, Anna and Theo squashing together at the end. Mum and Sweeney, however, chose to sat on the chairs.

Breakfast were crossiants with tiny packets of jam, various pieces of fruit, yoghurts and - I could've kissed Sweeney - _coffee. _

I sipped my coffee, sighing in contentment.

I'd missed coffee.

"How are you, love?"

I grimaced at Mum. "Sore," I glanced over at Robyn's cot. "But it was definately worth it."

She smiled. "I'm sure it was."

"She's so cute!" Anna squealed, craning her neck to look into Robyn's cot. I laughed.

"You can hold her if you like."

"Really?"

"No, I was just saying it for a giggle. Yes, really."

Anna beamed at me as she jumped up from my bed and cradled Robyn in her arms. After her, Theo held her, and then Mum.

"My daughter is going to be spoiled rotten," I laughed. "Especially with you lot around."

"It just makes me feel depressed that my first grand child is younger than my youngest son," Mum huffed. She beamed down at Robyn. "But she is definately a beautiful little girl."

"She looks an awful lot like you, Niamh." Anna commented, smiling down at her.

"More like Sweeney, I think."

Sweeney shot me a crooked grin as I said this, his eyebrows raised slightly. I merely grinned back.

"She definately has your hair, Sweeney."

Mum, Theo and Anna continued to fuss over Robyn, comparing her appearance to mine and Sweeney's, while I munched on my breakfast gratefully. I hadn't realised how hungry I was until I'd opened my yoghurt.

"Ooh, I think someone's hungry."

Robyn had woken up and started wailing. Sighing, I took her from Mum and looked at Sweeney.

"Can you get the stuff from the bag, please?"

"You're not bottle feeding her, are you?" Mum questioned, frowning.

"Duh."

"Why?"

"Look, I know that you don't approve, but I refuse to let my boobs get saggy because my child is hungry," I said. "Call me selfish or whatever, but I prefer to use a bottle."

Once said bottle was sterilised and filled with formula, I tested the liquid before propping Robyn up. She latched onto the bottle immediately, sucking it quite happily.

I smiled down at her fondly, amused by the way her tiny fists hit the bottle while she was drinking.

"And, if she uses a bottle, Daddy can get up in the middle of the night and feed her." I announced when Robyn took a break from her bottle.

Sweeney didn't look to happy by this prospect.

"Hey," Mum said sternly. "You're a dad now. You're not allowed to pull that face."

"Yeah Dad, suck it up."

It was unfair for me to gang up on him with Mum, I'd agree, but it was so fun!

* * *

><p>Two days after, I was let out of the hospital. Sweeney and I filled in Robyn's birth certificate and then made our way home.<p>

_Robyn Johanna Todd._

It sounded so..._right. _

"And this is your home, Robyn," I cooed, carrying her along the street towards the shop. "186 Fleet Street. The _Quinn Cafe._"

"She doesn't understand a word that you say." Sweeney pointed out, kissing my cheek as he walked past me with the bags.

"I know, but I can't just take her into a strange place without explaining it first."

Sweeney shook his head, unlocking the door and propping it open for me.

"Come on, darling, I'll show you your nursery."

The office in the barber's shop had been converted into a nursery, sort of. The computer and sofa bed were still there, but we put in a cot and various cuddly toys. There were a few baby books on the shelves, and I'd made sure to hang a mobile above her cot. No, it wasn't the most convient of nursery's considering its location, but it was all we could do for now.

Sweeney came with me to the nursery, looking around with a small frown while I murmured in Robyn's ear.

"Now, it isn't the nicest room, but we've tried to make it all pretty for you."

With a smile, I lay her down in the cot. She looked around her with wide eyes, amazed by the cuddly toys that surrounded her.

"There you go, sweetheart, you just lie down there and relax."

I gently stroked her cheek before turning around and facing Sweeney with a matching frown.

"What's up with you, grumpy nuts?"

"Nothing." He muttered.

"Ok, now tell me the truth."

He remained silent. I sighed.

"Right, I'll go first shall I? I think we need to move."

"You do?"

"Yep, and soon."

Sweeney frowned questioningly.

"I'm not comfortable with leaving our daughter up here at night, not to mention it's incredibly inconvient when it comes to feeding her. I think it would be best if we found a house."

"I agree with you."

"You do?"

Sweeney nodded. "I do."

I beamed up at him, running forwards and throwing my arms around him.

"You are amazing, you know that? We could get a great little house, three bedrooms maybe? One for us, one for Robyn and a spare one for guests! And a little back garden, we could put swings and a slide up for Robyn when she's a little bit older and - "

Sweeney cut me off by kissing me.

"I was rambling, wasn't I?"

"Yes."

I blushed. "Sorry, I'm just so excited!"

He gently tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers carressing my cheek as he did so. I shut my eyes, leaning into his hand.

"As am I, Niamh."

"This is going to be perfect," I mumbled. "Me, you and Robyn. A family."

* * *

><p>In the end, I ended up sleeping on the sofa bed in the nursery.<p>

Sweeney tried to stay with me, but I insisted that I would need him well rested tomorrow. I had a feeling that I was going to be exhausted.

I wasn't wrong. Robyn began wailing at around one in the morning.

Groaning, I sat up. I was already having a restless night, and she definately wasn't helping.

I hoped that she would simply roll over and go back to sleep, but no such luck. Robyn kept wailing as hard as her tiny lungs would let her, meaning I had to get up.

"Hey darling," I whispered, picking her up. "Ssh, mummy's here now."

Holding her against my chest with one arm, I rubbed her back with my free hand. She didn't have a dirty nappy, and she didn't seem hungry. I decided that she was just a bit restless.

"I hope you're not planning on making a habit of this, Robyn."

Robyn simply continued to cry, but she seemed to calm down as I paced around the room, gently bouncing her. Spotting my CD player in the corner, I began flicking through my CD's.

"Aha!"

Carefully holding Robyn with one arm, I put the CD in and pressed play, flicking through the songs until I found the right one.

"This, Robyn, is Andrea Boccelli. He's a brilliant Italian singer who is blind, which means he can't see. This song he sings is a duet with Celine Dion, who I don't like very much, but you might do."

_I pray you'll be our eyes,_

_and watch us where we go_

_And help us to be wise,_

_in times when we don't know_

Robyn pushed herself away from my chest with her fists, as if trying to listen to the music.

_Let this be our prayer,_

_when we lose our way_

_Lead us to a place,_

_guide us with your grace_

_To a place where we'll be safe_.

"I'll never leave you, Robyn," I murmured. "And if I do, I'll always look out for you."

_La luce che tu hai_

_I pray we'll find your light_

_Nel cuore resterà_

_And hold it in our hearts_

"Those funny words are Italian, darling. The pretty voice is Celine Dion, and she's translating what Andrea says."

_A ricordarci che _

_When stars go out each night_

_L'eterna stella sei_

_Nella mia preghiera_

_Let this be our prayer_

_Quanta fede c'è_

_When shadows fill our day_

_Lead us to a place_

_Guide us with your grace_

_Give us faith so we'll be safe_

Cradling Robyn in my arms, it was only then that I realised I could connect to this song.

_Sogniamo un mondo senza più violenza_

_Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza_

_Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino_

_Simbolo di pace, di fraternità _

I wanted to lead Robyn, guide her somewhere safe.

_La forza che ci dà_

_We ask that life be kind_

_È il desiderio che_

_And watch us from above_

_Ognuno trovi amor_

_We hope each soul will find_

_Intorno e dentro a sé_

_Another soul to love_

I smiled; I had found my soul to love. I had found Sweeney. Together, we had Robyn. Our Robyn.

_Let this be our prayer_

_Let this be our prayer_

_Just like every child_

_Just like every child_

Looking down at Robyn, I saw that her eyelids were slowly closing, despite trying to fight them. I hugged her closer as I softly sung along.

_Need to find a place,_

_guide us with your grace_

_Give us faith so we'll be safe..._

With that, Robyn fell asleep in my arms.

* * *

><p>The Prayer by Andrea Bocelli and Celine Dion is one of my favourite songs ever, and incredibly beautiful. A shortened version by Celine Dion is also found on the film "Quest For Camelot" named "A Mother's Prayer."<p>

Thank you PurpleandBlackPandas, TheBrightsider, TeenySweeney, Shelia Chiaroscura, CadyD, ToddLover13 and Erica Lovett for reviewing!

I don't when know when I can next update; it's my first day back at school tomorrow at six longs weeks and I'm going into year eleven. That basically means a LOT of work.


	43. Scared To Death To Face Reality

_**Chapter Forty Three  
>Scared To Death To Face Reality<strong>_

_You think that I can't see right through your eyes  
>Scared to death to face reality<br>No one seems to hear your hidden cries  
>You're left to face yourself alone<br>~Where You Will You Go, Evanescence _

* * *

><p>"Hurry <em>up, <em>Niamh!" Anna whined loudly.

"Yeah, Robyn's getting all grouchy." Bronagh moaned.

"Take as long as you want, darling, we're perfectly fine." Mum called, clearly enjoying the free champagne served as I tried on dresses. I declined the offer; being a Mum really made me think before I did things.

I was growing up.

I gasped as the shop assistant, Holly, tightened the laces at the back of my dress. She smiled sympathetically, continuing to lace up my dress.

"It's a pain to get on, but you'll look absolutely gorgeous."

"I know," I said, gasping for breath momentarily. "We women have to go through a lot to look beautiful."

"Of course. When is the wedding?"

"Next month."

It only seemed right; September was the month that Sweeney and I met, in a manner of speaking.

"Oh, how lovely! Are you looking forwards to it?"

"Definately. I'm getting Robyn a green dress to match the bridesmaids." I grinned.

"Is Robyn your daughter?"

"Yep. She's two months now."

"How lovely," Holly smiled, finishing the laces of my dress. "I bet you're loving being a mum."

"Of course," I agreed. "But she is a bit of a handful at times."

"And what about Dad?"

"He's even worse."

Holly and I laughed as she helped me adjust the bodice of my dress, smoothing down the skirt as she did so.

"He's..." I paused, trying to pick a word. "Perfect. Absolutely perfect."

Holly smiled, placing the veil on my head and taking a step back, grinning at me through the mirror.

"You look beautiful, Niamh."

"Thank you."

Somehow, I didn't feel beautiful.

I felt...I felt like a child, dressing up in her mother's clothing.

Not like a grown woman that was a mother and getting married.

"Come out whenever you're ready."

Smiling at me with encouragement, Holly slipped out of the changing room, leaving me to gaze at my reflection.

Did I look beautiful?

I suppose that I did, in a way.

The dress was had a lace up back, tied to show off my curves and now full chest. After having Robyn, I went for a run every morning and ate as heathily as I could, determined to keep in shape for when I went back to work. It definately paid off.

The thick straps were snow white against my skin, the skirt falling in a gentle A-line to my ankles, brushing against the floor as I walked. The dress, all in all, was beautiful.

I just wasn't sure if I _looked _beautiful in it.

My favourite part was the veil, in all honesty. A band of handmade flowers circled my head, the veil forming a gentle slope to the back of my calves.

Did I look beautiful?

"Hurry up, Niamh!"

Taking in a deep breath, I pulled back the curtain and stepped out of the changing room.

Immediately, Mum gasped, Anna stared and Bronagh's mouth fell open.

"Cheers guys." I muttered sarcastically, scowling at their less than complimentary reactions.

"Niamh, you look beautiful!" Mum finally said, getting up from her seat.

"Wow, Niamh."

"You look so different."

"Sweeney will definately love it!"

"Never mind Sweeney, I love it!"

"I can't believe that my little girl is getting married already!"

As Mum, Anna and Bronagh showered me with praises, I turned my attention to Robyn.

I wasn't sure why, but watching her in her pram made me feel calmer, reminded me that this was all actually real. This was actually happening.

She looked up, her wide eyes meeting mine.

She gazed at me with a small frown, as if to say, _why are you wearing that odd dress, mummy?_

Truth be told, Robyn, I'm not sure.

Deciding that this was definately the dress for me, I changed back into my t-shirt and jeans. I thought that I would dress like crap when I was a mum, wearing baggy jumpers and tracksuits, but I found myself always trying to make an effort. It was as if I wanted to prove to everyone that I could look beautiful, even though I was a mum.

Which is why I chose my favourite skinny jeans, green converses and a _Bowling For Soup _t-shirt, as well as my vintage waistcoat.

While Holly bagged up my dress, I picked up Robyn and balanced her on my hip. She immediately began playing with my waistcoat and hair, so I left her to it. She was happy, I was happy.

I paid for my dress and made arrangements to pick it up, gently bouncing Robyn as she began to grizzle.

"Ok, who's up for the pub?" Mum asked as we left the shop.

"Seriously, Mum?" I asked, kneeling down to adjust the straps of Robyn's buggy. "You've just downed several glasses of champagne."

"Two, darling, two," She corrected. "For lunch! Come on, we hardly ever see you now."

I looked down at Robyn, looked up at Mum and sighed. "Fine."

So we had lunch. I wasn't that hungry, and opted for the simple option of chicken strips and a jacket potato. Mum, Anna and Bronagh had large plates of fish and chips.

"You've got to eat properly, Niamh," Mum commmented. "You're a mother now."

"Yes, and I am trying to fit into a wedding dress," I retorted. "Sweeney and I will have a big dinner tonight."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

I felt bad for snapping at her, because I knew that she only had my best interests in mind, but I wasn't in the mood.

It was if reality was coming crashing down on me. I had lived with my head up in the clouds, blinded by love and excitement. Having a baby while working and trying to organize a wedding was hard work, and demanded a much more mature attitude towards life in general.

Not to mention, I was tired all the time.

After I finished lunch, I managed to escape their clutches. Anna was meeting Theo and Bronagh was going to the cinema with her friends, so it wasn't that hard to persuade them that I had to go. I kissed them all goodbye before leaving, taking Robyn with me.

I didn't mind walking home on my own that much; it gave me time to think things through.

Was this all going too fast?

I wasn't going to lie. I was terrified of the prospect of getting married. Being a Mum was hard enough, let alone being a wife.

What if I messed up?

What if, one day, I woke up and realised that I had done the wrong thing?

What if I cheated on Sweeney again?

What if he decided he didn't want to be a husband and dad anymore?

Several what-if's ran through my mind, each horrid to even consider.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, I didn't even bother checking both ways before crossing over.

"WATCH OUT!"

A hand grabbed my arm while another grabbed the buggy, yanking us both out of the road as a car came speeding past. The driver honked at me, giving me the finger through the window.

"You could've been killed! Look where you're going next time, woman!"

Turning around to retort that, even though he saved my life, the stranger had no right to talk to me like that.

I stared.

"David?"

David's eyes widened as he suddenly realised it was me, glancing over my shoulder to make sure that I was alone.

"Niamh?"

"I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"I could say the same about you."

We both stared at each other in shocked silence, having not seen each other for nine months. He hadn't changed at all.

His eyes flickered down to my engagement ring, to Robyn, back at my engagement ring before meeting mine once more.

"Getting married, huh?"

"Yep."

David ran a hand through his hair. "Well...congratulations, I guess. Glad I didn't mess things up too badly."

"You messed them up incredibly," I snapped. He flinched, and I automatically felt guilty. "But so did I." I added in a softer tone.

"I guess there isn't a chance that I could be forgiven, is there?"

I frowned, silent for a moment as I carefully studied his face.

"Come on, you can walk me home," I announced. "Stop me from getting hit by any more cars."

David grinned, obligingly stepping to the side and gesturing for me to start walking. Grinning back, I did so.

* * *

><p>"Robyn Johanna?"<p>

"Yeah, Robyn because I saw a robin on the windowsill when Sweeney and I were discussing names and Johanna because it was the name of his first daughter."

David raised an eyebrow. "He's got children already?"

"Had," I corrected. "Johanna...died when she was fifteen."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"It's nice that you're, y'know, honouring her and all that."

"That's what I thought," I said with a smile. "I'll tell you what, she's a lot more hard work than she appears to be."

David laughed. "I think that she's beautiful, just like her mum."

I sighed, pausing as I frowned at him. "David."

He also stopped, realising what he had just said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really," David held his hands up in mock surrender. "I have absolutely no intention of splitting you guys up. If you must know...I'm kinda seeing someone."

I grinned. "Aw, I'm glad for you."

"Thanks."

We continued walking, both comfortably silent. Robyn seemed pretty content, chewing on her toy dog's ear as she watched the world go by, kicking her chubby legs around every so often.

"Well, this is my stop." I said as we reached the shop.

"It was nice seeing you again," David said with a sheepish smile. "I'm glad that we've sorted things out."

"So am I."

And I was. Despite everything that happened, I did like David. He was a nice guy, and I was glad that he was able to move on from our crappy experience.

Momentarily letting go of Robyn's buggy, I stepped forwards and wrapped my arms around David.

"I'm sorry, David." I murmured.

"I'm sorry too, Niamh." He whispered, hugging me back.

The sound of the door slamming open made us jump apart.

"Sweeney!"

David took a step back. "Alright, mate?"

"You are not welcome here." Sweeney said through gritted teeth, glaring at David.

"Sweeney, we were just - "

"I know what you were doing."

I immediately felt furious. How dare Sweeney not only interupt me, but judge me as well?

"No, you have no _idea _what we were doing!" I cried out in anger.

"What you did before!" He yelled back.

Robyn, picking up on our shouting, began to wail. Glaring at Sweeney, I took her from her buggy and held her close.

"Ssh, darling, ssh," I cooed. "It's ok."

"Look, I'd better - "

"Don't you dare go anywhere near her again." Sweeney threatened, squaring up to David. David smirked.

"Or what? Listen, I'm not interested in her anymore but, if it makes you feel better about yourself, I promise not to look at her."

Sweeney stiffened, and I stepped between the two of them.

"Stop it!" I ordered. "Just stop it. Sweeney, get inside."

"Niamh - "

"_Now._"

With one last glare at us, Sweeney took Robyn from me and stormed into the shop. I glared at his retreating back, my fists clenched.

"I think you should go, David," I suggested quietly. "I'm really sorry."

"No worries."

With a friendly pat on the shoulder, David left. Folding up the buggy, I followed Sweeney into the shop.

"You're a prick, you know that?"

Sweeney ignored me as he hugged Robyn, soothing her as he rubbed his hand up and down her back.

"Don't ignore me!" I cried. "Do you know what David and I were doing? We were making friends. We were putting the past behind us and being mature adults. You can't stop me from being friends with him."

"Men like him only want one thing." Sweeney muttered viciously.

"So, what? You think I'm going to drop my pants and let him impregnate me as well?" I snapped. "Just because I made a mistake - " I cut myself off. "You know, fuck you. You can feed Robyn and you can put her down for her nap. I'm going to have a lie down."

Without another word, I spun around and stomped to our bedroom, making sure to slam the door shut behind me.

Leaning against it, my legs gave way and I slid to the floor.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I sat there, curled up against the door, my whole body shaking.

This was my life.

And I was scared of it.

* * *

><p>Thank you CadyD, TeenySweeney, PurpleandBlackPandas, firewieldermera, ToddLover13 and Shelia Chiaroscura for reviewing!<p>

I have to say, the first two days of year eleven have not been the best . . . :( Not only is our new headteacher incredibly strict, but I got my year ten exam results back. They weren't the best :(

So please review; knowing that my writing is ok makes me feel a lot better :)


	44. We're Gonna Loose Our Minds Tonight

_**Chapter Forty Four  
><strong>__**We're Gonna Loose Our Minds Tonight**_

_Right, right, turn off the lights  
><em>_We're gonna lose our minds tonight  
><em>_~Raise Your Glass, P!nk_

* * *

><p>"I love you."<p>

A kiss.

"I love you too."

Another kiss.

"I _really _love you."

More kisses.

"I know."

"I'm really sorry about yesterday."

"I know you are."

A kiss.

"I'm going to miss you."

"We'll see each other tomorrow."

"At the Church."

"At our wedding."

Sweeney and I shared a final kiss, holding each other close. When we broke apart, I stared up at him sadly.

"I wish it was tomorrow already."

He smirked, his fingers gently brushing against the line of my cheekbone. "That makes no sense."

"You know what I mean."

I stood on my tiptoes to press my lips against his once more.

"I suppose that this is goodbye." He commented quietly.

"Until tomorrow." I reminded him.

"Until tomorrow." Sweeney repeated, humouring me. I smiled.

"When we see each other tomorrow, we will be getting married."

"Yes, we will."

A loud honk outside told us that Theo was getting bored of waiting outside. Sweeney was going to spend the night at his and Anna's flat while Anna (and a few others) stayed with me.

"Goodbye." He whispered.

"Goodbye."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

He kissed me once more, opening the door.

"I'll be the one in white." I joked.

With one last kiss, Sweeney got into Theo's car and disappeared around the corner.

I watched them go with a sad smile, leaning against the doorway.

After a moment of gazing out of the street, I walked back inside and shut the door. I could hear Robyn gurgling upstairs, surprisingly content on her playmat.

"Hello gorgeous!" I cooed, kneeling down in front of her and tickling her stomach. She smiled up at me. "Tomorrow is a special day, Robyn, so I need you to sleep tonight!"

I looked up as I heard the front door open, followed by the loud call of "We're here!" from Mum.

"I'm upstairs!" I called back, scooping Robyn up as I stood up.

After much banging and other various loud noises, Mum joined me in the living room, followed by Anna and Bronagh. Mum was carrying the large bags holding the dresses, Anna had several bottles of fizzy and Bronagh carried four pizza boxes.

"Special delivery!"

Grinning, I placed Robyn in her carry cot and straightened up, folding my arms across my chest.

"I'm getting married tomorrow and you're feeding me take away pizza?"

"Yep. Sit down and suck it up."

I laughed as Bronagh took charge, telling everyone where to sit while fetching plates and glasses from the kitchen. I let her do so, glad to sit down for a bit.

"We got fizzy because we didn't think it would be a good idea to get drunk the night before your wedding." Anna explained, handing me a glass of Coke. I smiled gratefully.

"I don't know what I would do without you."

"I dread to think."

I laughed, sipping my drink before putting the glass down and opening my pizza box. Double pepperoni, my favourite.

"I can't believe my baby girl is getting married tomorrow!" Mum said, shaking her head. Next to her, Bronagh rolled her eyes.

"Mum, you've had since Christmas to get used to it."

"I know, but it's still hard to get used to!"

"What I love is that I'm running my own business, a mother and getting married _before _the twins!" I said with a wide grin, satisfied. Knowing that I was growing up before my brothers, who had constantly teased me for being their younger sister.

Mum also laughed. "Yes, well, I have put them in charge of Ryan tonight."

"Stopping them from drinking?"

"Of course."

I laughed; the twins were joining Theo and Sweeney at Theo's flat.

"I bet they hate you so much now." Anna commented, nibbling her pizza delicately.

"They're my sons, darling, they're meant to hate me."

I grinned down at Robyn, who was watching me eat my pizza while moving her mouth in chewing motions. I gave her a dummy, hoping it would make up for the fact that she couldn't eat with us.

"So this is my hen party." I said casually.

Bronagh smirked. "Sorry that it doesn't live up to your expectations."

"There's nothing wrong with it," I replied quickly. "I guess that I never really thought that I would spend it eating pizza and drinking fizzy. I thought hen parties were all about...going wild and getting drunk."

"Do you really want to do that?"

"No..."

"Then stop complaining!"

I couldn't help but laugh; Bronagh mimicked Mum perfectly when she said this, even copying her sharp Irish accent.

"I do _not_ sound like that!"

"Yeah, you really do."

"Anna," Mum turned to her. "Do I sound like that?"

"I'm afraid that I'll have to agree with Bronagh."

"Niamh?"

I simply grinned in response.

"That's just typical," Mum huffed. "I buy us dinner and you repay me by mocking me!"

She then smiled; she was only joking.

After finishing our pizzas, I managed to find two tubs of ice cream. Mum and Bronagh shared one while Anna and I shared the other, squeezing onto the sofa together while watching _Moulin Rouge. _Of course, we sung along to the songs, loud and - at some points - off tune.

When Robyn began grizzling, I managed to get up from the sofa and pick her up. She didn't have a dirty nappy, so I decided that she was probably hungry.

"I'm going to get Robyn a bottle."

While Mum, Bronagh and Anna continued to sing loudly, I balanced Robyn on my hip and walked to the kitchen.

She continued to grizzle, her tiny fist clenched around a strand of my hair, while I made up her bottle.

"Shush, darling, shush." I murmured, jiggling her.

When her bottle was ready, I tested the heat and then let Robyn attach herself to it. I leaned against the counter, holding Robyn close while she sucked on the bottle.

"You're a hungry girl, aren't you?" I said softly. "A big hungry girl."

Of course, she didn't make any response, continuing to drink her milk.

"Tomorrow is a very special day," I also continued. "Your mummy and daddy are getting married. I'll be Mrs Niamh Todd tomorrow, just like your daddy is Sweeney Todd and you're Robyn Todd."

I decided that I probably wouldn't tell Robyn about how her father travelled through time, and I definately wouldn't tell her about his past. If she asked, then I would. If she didn't, I wouldn't.

How would she react?

How would she react knowing that her father was a murderer?

Robyn pulled away, pausing for a moment in her drinking. I smiled down at her, gently kissing her forehead.

She'd love him anyway, wouldn't she?

She grabbed the bottle, attatching herself to it once more.

I sighed, deciding that I would never tell Robyn about her father's past. There would be no need, not to mention that it would seriously destroy our family.

Forever.

When Robyn was done drinking, I put the bottle down and took her back into the living room. Thankfully, I had missed the ending; I always cried like an idiot at the end.

It was getting late as well, and Robyn was falling asleep against my shoulder.

"Right, I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting tired."

"Yeah, same." Bronagh agreed, yawning.

"Where is everyone sleeping, love?" Mum asked.

"Ok, you three are in my room. One of you can have my bed while the others are on airbeds, so I'll let you guys decide who sleeps where. I'm in the office on the sofa bed with Robyn."

"Alright, love. Goodnight." Mum kissed my cheek.

"Night, Niamh." Bronagh high fived me as she passed, going downstairs to fetch her bag.

"Night."

Anna and I shared a hug before she also went downstairs for her bag. I followed her, bidding everyone a last goodnight as I walked through the shop.

Once upstairs, I changed a dozing Robyn into a sleep suit and lay her down in her cot, kissing her forehead.

"Goodnight, Robyn." I murmured, pulling her blanket up.

I stripped down from my jeans and t-shirt to my pyjamas, wearing one of Sweeney's jumpers over the top. Pulling the sofa bed out, I climbed on and curled up underneath the duvet.

As my eyes drifted shut, one thought went through my mind, constantly repeating itself.

Tomorrow, I would be Mrs Niamh Todd.

* * *

><p>Thank you TeenySweeney, PurpleandBlackPandas, CadyD, JDeppIsMyLovely, Scribbled Truth, ToddLover13, babyvfan, Comfortably Plump and Shelia Chiaroscura for reviewing! Next chapter - the wedding!<p> 


	45. Hand In Mine, Into Your Icy Blues

_**Chapter Forty Five  
>Hand In Mine, Into Your Icy Blues<strong>_

_Hand in mine, into your icy blues  
>And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway<br>With this trunk of ammunition too  
>I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets<em>

_I'm trying, I'm trying_  
><em>To let you know just how much you mean to me<em>  
><em>And after all the things we put each other through<em>  
><em>~Demolition Lovers, My Chemical Romance<em>

* * *

><p>I woke up early, earlier than Robyn.<p>

Sitting up, I brushed my hair out of my face and grinned.

I was getting married today.

Mrs Niamh Todd.

I would no longer be Niamh Olivia Quinn, the girl that went from cute toddler to awkward adolescent to performing woman that seemed to keep messing up.

I would be Niamh Todd.

_Mrs _Niamh Todd.

Mother of Robyn and wife of Sweeney.

Mrs Niamh Olivia Todd.

Pulling on my jeans and t-shirt, I slipped my feet into my shoes and crossed the room, pausing by Robyn's cot.

She was still asleep, a tiny frown on her face. I smiled, reaching out to gently stroke her hair.

Robyn Todd.

Sweeney Todd.

Niamh Todd.

The Todd family.

I smiled to myself, imaging our family living in an estate, surrounded by other families. Sweeney would make friends, go out to someone's house every Friday to play cards or watch the football. I'd go out to the nursery with other mums, drop Robyn off and then go to the cafe for a coffee and gossip. We'd have a three bedroomed house with a large back garden and front porch.

It was going to be perfect.

Robyn's eyes flickered open, and she grumbled slightly as she moved around. Still smiling, I leaned down and picked her up.

"Morning beautiful," I said softly. "Let's go downstairs, yeah?"

Robyn buried her head into my shoulder; it was too early for her.

Laughing, I left the office and wandered downstairs. Anna and Bronagh were already sat around one of the tables, clad in their pyjamas with their hair tied back messily.

"Morning." I said as I walked in, balancing Robyn on one hip as I searched for her carry cot. Thankfully, someone had the sense to bring it down with them.

"Morning, sis." Bronagh grinned up at me sleepily, a hint of eyeliner still smudged around her eyes.

"Mrs Todd, actually." Anna corrected, laughing.

"Morning love!" Mum called from the kitchen, the smell of scrambled eggs floating in.

Putting Robyn down in her carry cot, I took a seat opposite Anna and Bronagh.

I was getting married today!

The very thought made me grin widely.

Bronagh laughed as she saw my grin, raising her eyebrows. "Are you excited?"

"Yeah! Look."

I held out my hand. It was shaking.

"Scrambled eggs on toast for the bride." Mum announced, putting a plate in front of me. Bronagh and Anna also had scrambled egss, Mum opting to just have toast.

I was getting married.

Wow.

When we finished breakfast, we decided that it was time to start getting ready. There was a lot to do.

"Ok, what do we do first?" I asked Mum, who seemed to take charge. She knew what getting married was like.

"I suggest nails. While they're drying, I can start on your hair."

We sat downstairs in the shop while we got ready, shutting all the curtains and covering the doors. There was a lot more room, plus I wouldn't have to walk down all those stairs in my dress.

"So what are your four _somethings_, Niamh?" Anna asked as Mum started applying the clear base coat to my nails.  
>"My heart necklace is old, my wedding dress is new and my earrings are borrowed."<p>

"What about the blue?"

Bronagh and I shared a grin.

Mum frowned. "Niamh, I hope it isn't something rude."

I laughed, adjusting the waistband of my jeans. Mum and Anna burst into hysterical laughter.

I was wearing blue girl boxers.

"What colour do you want your nails, darling?" Mum asked, going through the various varnishes she had.

"Green."

She looked up with a frown, her brow furrowing. "_Green_?"

"Green." I repeated firmly.

She looked amused and a little bit confused, but Mum started painting nails green.

"Do we have to paint _our _nails green?" Bronagh asked as Anna started applying her base coat.

"Yes," I replied. "But the green you guys are going to wear matches the light green waistband of your dresses."

"Oh, right."

With our nails done and drying, Mum started on our hair. Bronagh had packed her curling tongs, and was an expert at using them.

"I'm just glad that I don't need to curl my hair." Anna said smugly, Mum weaving tiny ribbons and flowers in her natural golden curls. I stuck my tongue out at her.

When Bronagh was done with her hair, she sprayed half a can of hair spray onto herself and then started helping me do my hair. It had been a while since I cut my hair, so it now hung closer to my chest than my shoulders, as it had done before.

"You should curl your hair more often."

"What, and damage it with all the heat? No thanks."

Thankfully, Robyn was pretty content in her carry cot, grizzling only when she wanted to escape. Mum fetched the playmat from upstairs and lay Robyn down on her back; this occupied her.

After finishing off Anna and Bronagh's hair, Mum began mine while they changed into their bridesmaid dresses.

"This is your big day, love." She said softly, long fingers styling my curled hair.

"I know."

"You're going to look so beautiful."

I grinned. "You think so?"

"I know so."

It didn't take long to finish off my hair; Mum was an expert. She had been doing my hair since I was born.

My hair done, I turned to face Bronagh and Anna in their dresses.

"You guys look...amazing."

The dresses were simple but effective. Thick straps and a low v-neck, with a light green - almost yellow - band around their waist and a matching layer underneath the skirt. Anna and Bronagh grinned back at me.

They did look amazing. The green was great on Bronagh and beautiful on Anna, complimenting their fair skin tones.

"Come on, let's get you into your dress."

Mum and Anna helped me into my dress, Anna smoothing down the skirt and sorting my hair out while Mum laced up the back. Bronagh occupied herself by dressing Robyn in a green dress, a similar shade to the one she wore.

I felt beautiful.

Once I was dressed and ready, feeling more excited than I had in a long time, Mum took Anna and Bronagh upstairs to find the boquets. Once they had, I turned to Robyn, who was sat in her high chair.

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked in a hushed tone, checking that no one was nearby. With a wide grin, I pulled up the skirt of my dress.

Undearneath, I was wearing my green Converses.

Robyn giggled, clapping her hands together, and I grinned back.

"Here you go, love."

Mum came downstairs, holding a boquet of red roses. I took it from her, holding them close to my chest as I grinned.

"This is it." I said, shaking with excitement.

"This is it."

I took in a deep breath as Mum opened the door for me. Grinning, I gathered my skirt and showed off my bright green Converses. I wasn't ashamed, nor should I be. Mum simply raised her eyebrows and shook her head.

"I told you that I was going to get married in Converses." I said as I stepped out into the street, the car waiting for me.

"And I thought that you were joking."

* * *

><p>We were at the Church.<p>

I froze, my hand clinging to Mum's as the car pulled up outside. She chuckled softly, rubbing my hand.

"Chill," She said. "It's ok."

"Easy for you to say."

"Niamh, look at me."

I turned to face Mum, chewing my bottom lip anxiously.

I was getting married.

"Calm down," She ordered softly, smiling. "This is a big day, yes, but this is the most magical day that you will ever go through. You and Sweeney are in love. There is nothing to worry about."

I took in a deep, and shaky, breath before nodding.

"Right. Ok. Let's get this over with."

"Niamh,"

"Sorry, sorry! I'm excited, just...terrifed."

Mum helped me out of the car, rolling her eyes once more as my Converses crunched against the gravel, and smoothed out my skirts while Bronagh sorted Robyn out in her pram.

"Niamh,"

I looked up at Father John and grinned. "Hiya."

He smiled back. "You look beautiful, my child."

"Thank you, Father."

"The service will begin in a moment. Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Father John smiled at me once more encouragingly, taking Robyn with him as he went back into the Church. The twins would look after her until Mum sat down.

Clinging onto Mum's hand, I grinned at my best friend and little sister.

"You ready?"

"We're ready."

"Are you ready?" Mum asked me softly.

I nodded. "Definately."

I waited a moment, my heart racing as I heard the opening chords of the traditional wedding song. My hand was shaking, but Mum kept me steady as we walked into the Church and turned the corner.

Immediately, everyone stood up. Theo beamed at me as he turned around, whispering something to Sweeney.

He turned around.

My eyes met his, and my cheeks turned red as I saw the look in his eyes.

Love.

He loved me.

And I loved him.

I couldn't leave his gaze as Mum and I walked down the aisle, a small smile playing on my lips. When I finally reached him, Mum kept hold of my hand and placed it in Sweeney's, covering his for a moment before letting go and sitting down with the twins.

I kept my eyes on Sweeney during the recital of the vows, unable to look away.

I was getting married.

Sweeney and I, together forever.

"I do." I said softly.

After Father John confirmed our marriage, I turned to face Sweeney and, not caring who was watching, kissed him.

When the kiss ended, his forehead gently rested against mine, our noses brushing against each other.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too."

Weaving my hand, now adorned with a gold band, into his, I turned to my friends and family with a wide beam. They were clapping, a majority of the women crying while they did so.

Grinning up at Sweeney, I squeezed his hand.

"Come on," I said. "We've got a wedding to celebrate."

* * *

><p>Thank you PurpleandBlackPandas, CadyD, Comfortably Plump, babyvfan, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, ToddLover13 and Spanish Sunrise for reviewing!<p>

Links for dresses:

Niamh's wedding dress and veil: h t t p : / / w w w . f i r s t q u e e n . n e t / w p -c o n t e n t / u p l o a d s / 2 0 1 1 / 0 8 / I r i s h + W e d d i n g + G o w n . j p g

Bridesmaid dresses: h t t p : / / s 3 . a m a z o n a w s . c o m / w e d d i n g _ p r o d / p h o t o s / e 8 c c 6 3 2 8 6 6 e b 8 7 3 0 5 a f c 0 6 9 0 b a 8 0 2 2 4 a


	46. A Cold And Broken Hallelujah

_**Chapter Forty Six  
><strong>__**A Cold And Broken Hallelujah**_

* * *

><p>The first dance was always the most special.<p>

As the music started, Sweeney held his hand out to me. I took it immediately, standing up and allowing him to take me to the dance floor.

Cameras clicked as I placed one hand on his shoulder and the other weaved into his, his free hand on my waist.

_I've heard there was a secret chord_

_That David played, and it pleased the Lord_

"Today went surprisingly well." I murmured as he pulled me closer.

"Why are you surprised?"

_But you don't really care for music, do you?_

_It goes like this_

_The fourth, the fifth_

_The minor fall, the major lift_

"I don't know, I guess I just...am."

Sweeney's lips twitched as he leaned down and kissed me, those holding cameras going crazy, desperate to capture the moment.

"I'm glad."

_The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah_

Leaning against his chest, I could hear his heart beating.

_Hallelujah_

I smiled to myself; our hearts were beating in sync with each other.

_Hallelujah_

I loved the feel of his arm around me, his hand in mine.

_Hallelujah_

I loved _Sweeney._

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof_

_You saw her bathing on the roof_

_Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you_

"Can you relate to the song?" I gently teased, kissing his cheek softly.

Sweeney chuckled under his breath.

"You haven't the faintest idea."

The idea of being the one that caused Sweeney to stray from his faith, whatever that may be, made me giggle.

"Care to share the joke?" He asked softly.

_She tied you_

_To a kitchen chair_

_She broke your throne, and she cut your hair_

"Was your faith strong?"

"I never had any faith."

I laughed again, tucking my head into the crook of his neck.

"I love you." I told him.

"I love you too."

_And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

As if on cue, Sweeney kissed me again.

_Hallelujah_

We stopped trying to dance in what was considered a proper manner, simply swaying back and forth in each other's arms.

_Hallelujah_

His cheek rested on the top of my head, his hand on my waist.

_Hallelujah_

I smiled as I saw Mum, her arms wrapped around the twins as she sobbed quietly.

_Hallelujah_

Neither Ciaran nor Eoghan looked particuarly happy.

Still smiling, I slid my hand from Sweeney's and wrapped both my arms around his neck.

He smiled down at me.

_Maybe I have been here before_

_I know this room, I've walked this floor_

_I used to live alone before I knew you_

When I first joined Tim's drama group, at the grand age of eleven, he told me something.

_Niamh, _he'd said to me. _If you want to be a performer, then you need to know something. Behind every act is a real person. Behind every song is an emotion. Behind every dance is a story. _

I never forgot what he told me.

I didn't understand it when he first told me but I did now.

_I've seen your flag on the marble arch_

_Love is not a victory march_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

Behind every act is a real person.

_Hallelujah_

I would continue acting, but I would always be me. Niamh Olivia Todd, a woman that fell in love more than once and messed up more times than I could ever count.

_Hallelujah_

Behind every song in an emotion.

_Hallelujah_

I would listen to this song in years to come and think back on this magical moment, the moment in which I danced with Sweeney.

Our first dance.

_Hallelujah_

Behind every dance is a story.

This was our dance, our story.

The story of a barber and his wife.

_There was a time_

_You let me know_

It wasn't the original story of the barber and his wife.

It wasn't the story in which the barber lost his wife to another man.

It wasn't the story that ended with a sad ending.

_What's real and going on below_

_But now you never show it to me, do you?_

This was a new story.

A new beginning.

A new life.

_And remember when I moved in you?_

_The holy dark was moving too_

Sweeney Todd and Niamh.

A barber and his wife.

_And every breath we drew was Hallelujah_

My eyes met Sweeney's, and I couldn't help but beam up at him.

"What?" He asked quietly.

"I was just thinking about that story you once told me," I explained softly. "The story about the barber and his wife."

_Hallelujah_

Sweeney stiffened slightly as we spun around, his hands tightening around my waist.

"Why?"

"Because...we're a barber and his wife, aren't we?"

_Hallelujah_

"Yes, I suppose we are." Sweeney agreed with a frown.

"But...we're going to be a _good _barber and his wife."

_Hallelujah_

"What do you mean by _good_?"

_Hallelujah_

"I mean that we're forever," I said. "You and I were meant to be. Never mind that it took a hell of a lot of weird stuff and arguements to get where we are now."

_Maybe there's a God above_

_And all I ever learned from love_

_Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you_

"Do you really belive that?"

I frowned up at him. "Are you doubting me?"

"No." He insisted, his lips tilting into a crooked smile. I knew that, really, he was mocking me.

But I didn't care.

_And it's not a cry you can hear at night,_

_It's not somebody who's seen the light_

"Do you trust me?" I asked softly.

Sweeney frowned, and I thought that he wouldn't answer.

It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't.

After a long moment, he rested his forehead against mine and gazed down at me.

"Of course I do."

"Then believe me when I say that I'm never going to leave you."

_It's cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

Sweeney's eyes flickered slightly as his lips twisted uncomfortably.

I waited patiently.

"I...don't want...you to leave me." He finally admitted, his voice strained.

_Hallelujah_

Instead of replying, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him as hard as I could.

_Hallelujah_

"I don't want you to leave me either." Tears sprung to my eyes as I whispered this in his ear.

_Hallelujah_

"Don't cry."

I laughed softly; Sweeney heard the small crack in my voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy."

_Hallelujah_

Looking over Sweeney's shoulder, I could see people I knew and loved.

Tim and Helena were stood hand in hand, her head resting on his shoulder.

David stood behind his new girlfriend, his arms wrapped around her waist.

The twins messing around with Bronagh.

Theo and Anna both trying hard not to cry.

_Hallelujah_

Mum.

Mum was stood with her eyes on me at all times, beaming in pride.

_Hallelujah_

I smiled at her through my tears, and she smiled back at me.

_Hallelujah_

Straightening up, I beamed up at Sweeney.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too."

As Sweeney dipped his head to kiss me once more, the final word of the song filled the room.

_Hallelujah_

* * *

><p><em>Hallelujah ~ Rufus Wrainwright <em>

No, Rufus Wrainwright didn't sing the original song, but I strongly suggest that you listen to his cover while reading this chapter. It was what inspired me to write this story.

Thank you TeenySweeney, PurpleandBlackPandas, babyvfan, ToddLover13 and CadyD for reviewing! Only four more chapters until the end of the story . . .


	47. I Can't Fix You

_**Chapter Forty Seven  
><strong>__**I Can't Fix You**_

_F__eels like the weight of the world,  
>Like God in heaven gave me a turn.<br>Don't cling to me, I swear I can't fix you.  
>~Weight Of The World, Evanescence<em>

* * *

><p>"We're home!"<p>

Sweeney wasn't as joyful as I was as he paid the taxi driver, who hadn't shut up during the whole journey from the airport to the shop. I, however, was beaming up at the shop proudly, glad to be home.

"Next time," Sweeney muttered, opening the door. "We don't choose that taxi firm."

I laughed, picking up my suitcase and following him indoors.

"Niamh! Hi!"

I was attacked by a whirlwind in the shape of Sophia, who flung her arms around me and hugged me tight. Laughing, I hugged her back.

"Hey Sophia," I said when she released me. "I didn't know that you missed me so much."

"Of course I did! It's been, like, dead quiet since you've been away."

Sophia moved to hug Sweeney, but he stepped around her and past the counter, making his way upstairs.

"Oh, right. Married."

"Sorry Sophia," I grinned. "Maybe next time."

Picking up my bag, I also stepped behind the counter and followed my husband upstairs.

"We're home!" I repeated happily, throwing my suitcase on the sofa.

"So you keep saying."

Smiling, I spun around and wrapped my arms around Sweeney's neck, leaning up.

"Shame we're not still on our honeymoon, though." I said softly, pressing my lips against his.

"Hello!"

Sweeney and I broke apart as footsteps echoed throughout the corridor, mixing with Robyn's gurgles.

"Hey Mum!"

Rushing out of the living room, I beamed when I saw Mum and Robyn.

"Hello gorgeous!"

Taking Robyn out of Mum's arms, I hugged my daughter close to me and kissed her forehead. It had been a long fortnight without her.

"She's been missing you, I think," Mum said, kissing my cheek. "But she's enjoyed her two weeks with grandma."

Robyn clapped her hands in agreement, beaming up at me. I laughed, kissing her again.

"I'm glad. Ooh, I've missed you!"

"So have I." Sweeney pointed out softly, and I allowed him to take Robyn from me and hug her. Her small hand, however, remained curled around my finger.

"How was it, then?"

I grinned at Mum. "Amazing. Two weeks in Dublin. Absolutely amazing."

"Did you see Auntie Kaitlyn?"

Sweeney and I shared a grimace.

"What?"

"We did see her, but only because I had to tell the police that she was with me," I grimaced again. "She was incredibly drunk. I promised to take her home and make her rest."

"Oh dear," Mum frowned, shaking her head. "I'm so sorry, Sweeney, but my little sister is..."

"She certainly makes an interesting first impression." Sweeney muttered.

* * *

><p>I was late.<p>

"Why didn't you bloody wake me?" I demanded furiously, running around the bedroom.

"You didn't tell me that you needed to be woken up."

"I told you that I was meeting Theo and Anna!"

"No, you didn't."

"Where are those bloody shoes?"

I crawled under the bed, hoping that my favourite heeled boots would be hiding there. Not only was I severly disappointed to find that they weren't, but I banged my head as I crawled out and laddered my tights on a loose nails.

Letting out a furious cry, I removed my tights and threw them onto the bed, making a note to throw them away when I got home. Stepping out of my skirt, I grabbed my nearest pair of jeans and jumped up and down while pulling them up. I then grabbed a pair of mismatching socks, hopping around as I pulled them on and tried to find a decent shirt.

In the end, I ended up in one of Sweeney's dark polo shirts, the soft material hanging off me in a rather unattractive manner. I didn't care though; I needed to get Robyn to nursery and then meet my friends, who were definately going to be pissed.

"Have you dressed Robyn?"

"Yes."

"And she's had her breakfast?"

"Yes."

"Her bag is packed?"

"Yes."

Grabbing a cardigan, I slipped my feet into my lace up pumps, having given up on trying to find my boots, and rushed out of the room.

"Niamh,"

Spinning around, I flung my arms around Sweeney and kissed him.

"Bye."

Balancing my handbag on one shoulder, Robyn's bag on the other and Robyn on my hip, I bounded downstairs and left the shop. Putting the bags on the back seat, I then strapped Robyn into her car seat. When I was finally ready, I drove.

* * *

><p>I was exhausted by the time I reached the pub, and I wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep, but I had to face my friends.<p>

Running a hand through my hair, I pushed the door open and reluctantly stepped into the pub. I spotted Theo and Anna immediately, sat at a table by the window with soft drinks in front of them. They were deep in conversation, but stopped the moment they saw me.

"Hey guys."

Throwing my bag under the table, I sat down heavily next to Anna and sighed.

"Wow, you look like shit."

"Thanks, Theo."

He shrugged. "Sorry, but you do."

"Then you can buy me a drink for that comment, bitchy Queen."

"Fair enough."

Anna smiled at me as Theo went to the bar to buy me a drink.

"Hi,"

"Hi."

"How was your honeymoon?" She asked.

"Great. Amazing. I wish I was still there now."

"Instead, you're stuck with your best friends in London in a grotty pub."

I screwed my nose up. "It isn't that grotty."

Anna laughed, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear while carefully studying my face. It was irritating, and I made my feelings clear.

"What?"

"You do look kind of shit."

"I know. I was having a mad morning."

"We can tell."

This last comment was made by Theo as he placed a large glass of fizzy in front of me, his eyebrows raised.

I glared up at him. "Fuck you, Queen."

"No thanks, honey, I don't swing that way."

* * *

><p>I hated doing the accounts.<p>

Sweeney was sat on the sofa with Robyn on his lap, reading to her softly, while I sat in front of the laptop, violently stabbing at the keyboard.

"You're going to break it." Sweeney pointed out, and though my back was to him, I knew that he was smirking.

"I don't care." I growled.

There was a long silence, in which I continued to stab at the keyboard. The silence was broken by Robyn beginning to wail.

"Give her here."

I took Robyn from Sweeney, bouncing her on my knee as I continued with the accounts.

"Niamh,"

"What?"

Sweeney shook his head. "Never mind."

"Do us a favour, ok, and go away."

"Niamh - "

"No, you're absolutely no help at all. Go and make dinner, or something. Just go away and leave me alone."

Sweeney frowned, but did as I ordered.

Sighing, I got up from my seat and walked towards the window, gently shushing Robyn as she fussed.

"Oh Robyn," I sighed. "I'm sorry."

Moving away from the window, I put Robyn down in her cot. She wasn't tired, but I didn't want to hold her.

Not now.

Robyn continued to cry, desperate to be held again, but I simply stared down at her.

"I'm sorry," I repeated miserably. "I'm so sorry."

I didn't want to hold my daughter.

My daughter needed me, but I couldn't help her.

I wasn't sure which one scared me the most.

* * *

><p>Thank you PurpleandBlackPandas, CadyD, xSilentDawnx and luckyroxy for reviewing!<p>

Only three more chapters until the end . . .


	48. Say Goodbye To The Heart You Break

_**Chapter Forty Eight  
><strong>__**Say Goodbye To The Heart You Break**_

_(So say goodbye) to the vows you take  
><em>_(And say goodbye) to the life you make  
><em>_(And say goodbye) to the heart you break  
><em>_~To The End, My Chemical Romance_

* * *

><p>I stood over Robyn's cot in silence, watching her as she slept.<p>

She was so beautiful.

Looking at her, I could see her likeness to Sweeney more than ever.

I reached down and brushed my hand against her cheek, picturing her as a teenager.

She was going grow up to be a beautiful young woman.

I smiled to myself, still imagining her.

I conjured up the image of a girl, around thirteen, with long black hair and large eyes, framed with thick eyelashes. She'd have beautiful fair skin, but her cheeks would turn bright red at times. Her face would be pointed, defined. High cheekbones, pointed chin.

And her smile.

She'd have Sweeney's odd half smile, the corners of her lips tilting into a cheeky smirk that would make the boy's knees go weak.

I shook my head; how would Sweeney react to our daughter getting a boyfriend?

Not well.

Grimacing, I imagined Sweeney threatening the poor boy, probably with his razor in hand.

"Never grow up," I whispered to Robyn. "Stay like this, my beautiful baby that I can look after and protect forever."

But I knew that this wasn't possible.

Robyn was going to grow up.

Before long, she'd be a year old and walking.

Then she'd start talking, and then a proper nursery. She'd make friends, go to parties, dress up like a princess and sing along to her favourite songs.

When she'd start school, she'd make friends, fall out with them, play silly games like tag and kiss chase. She'd kiss a boy on the cheek to scare him, get dressed up for discos, start going to sleepovers. Develop her own style and personality.

And then it would be secondary school.

The dreaded day that I would watch her dress in her tie and blazer, holding her school bag and beaming at her reflection. She'd be eleven, all grown up.

She'd definately be smart. Maybe even one of the best in her class. She'd make proper friends, start going to town, spending evenings with them in her room with loud music blaring out. She'd have boyfriends and crushes, go through her exams, attend the prom.

What would Robyn do then?

I could imagine her dressing in her jeans and t-shirt, grabbing her bag and rushing out to the Sixth Form College, already late. She'd have a proper boyfriend, a nice boy that came over for dinner every week. She'd go out to parties, get drunk, make mistakes.

She'd pass all her exams and go to University, or maybe even a great stage school. She'd meet the love of her life and get married and have children of her own and...I'd loose her.

If all this happened, I'd be an old woman.

I'd be Grandma.

Robyn wouldn't be the gorgeous child that I could cradle whenever I wanted anymore. She'd be a young woman, grown up.

Could I handle that?

The idea of loosing my daughter scared me. Would Sweeney and I have anymore children? Robyn would love being an older sister, and we loved being parents.

But, then, I'd have to go through the pain all over again.

Blinking back the tears that had sprung to my eyes, I reached down and scooped Robyn up in my arms, hugging her close.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Why was I apologising?

I wasn't sure.

It just seemed...right.

Robyn was still fast asleep, burying her face into my shoulder as her tiny fists grabbed my t-shirt.

My grip on her tightened as I wandered over to the window, gazing out with a small frown.

I couldn't stop the tears from trickling down my cheeks.

I was tired.

Walking to the sofa, I adjusted the cushions and lay down, hugging Robyn to my chest. She seemed pretty content, asleep on my chest.

Stroking her hair, I allowed my eyes to shut.

It didn't take long for me to drift off to sleep.

* * *

><p>I'm floating.<p>

My feet barely touch the ground as I open the door and walk out, the corridor silent.

I was a ghost.

The hallway is dark, but I need no light to see. I'm calm, happy.

What am I walking towards?

I know it isn't the same dream as before, the dream of the child.

This is different.

My hand brushes against the banister as I glide downstairs, barely touching them.

I can hear something.

Singing.

Beautiful singing.

"_Lucy, I've come home again..._"

Beautiful.

Magical.

Low, alluring, velvety, _dangerous. _

"_Lucy, oh my God..._"

Who is Lucy?

"_Now come here, my love. Nothing to fear, my love._"

Nothing to fear.

I barely register floating through the shop, down the stairs to the bakehouse.

The bakehouse.

I can hear screaming.

Loud, tormented screams of pain.

They don't last long. I barely notice them.

The door is open.

I slide in through the gap.

A man.

A beautiful man.

Cradling a dead woman.

I watch him in silence, feeling no need to move from my spot.

He's singing.

"_There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful..._"

Have I heard this before? I think I have...

"_A foolish barber and his wife, she was his reason and his life..._"

There's a little boy.

He rises from the drain, his hair tangled and his face dirty.

His eyes are dark.

Murderous.

"_And she was beautiful, she was virtuous, and he was..._"

The little boy slits his throat.

* * *

><p>My eyes snapped open.<p>

Looking around, I saw Robyn still asleep on my chest as I lay on the sofa. Holding her tight, I sat up.

Something wasn't right.

My stomach was twisting uncomfortably, my heart racing.

Something definately wasn't right.

Standing up, I glanced out the window and saw that the sky had turned black.

How long had I been asleep?

Keeping a firm grip on Robyn, I left the office and walked along the balcony, down the wooden stairs.

It was cold.

I was shivering as I walked down the stairs, their creaks echoing through the silent night.

Robyn whimpered in her sleep, squirming slightly, but I gently shushed her as I opened the side door to the shop. Seeing her carry cot, I placed Robyn in it and kissed her forehead.

"Go back to sleep, darling," I whispered. "It's ok, go back to sleep."

Still shivering, I turned and looked around the shop.

The lights were off.

The curtains were open, the moonlight seeping in.

It was eerie.

I couldn't deny that I was scared, though why, I wasn't sure.

And then I saw it.

The light.

The bake house door was open.

"No..."

I hesitated slightly, frozen to the spot.

No.

This wasn't happening.

And then I heard it.

The singing.

"_Lucy, I've come home again..._"

I shook my head. I was dreaming. I had to be.

"_Lucy, oh my God..._"

_Wake up, _I thought desperately. _Wake up!_

"_Now come here, my love. Nothing to fear, my love._"

Screaming.

Robyn woke up immediately, crying at the top of her lungs as the tormented screams filled the room. My legs began to shake.

"Sweeney!"

No longer frozen to the spot, I began to run forwards. My feet got tangled up with each other, sending me flying to the ground. I hit the wood with a hard thump, momentarily knocking the wind out of my chest.

"_There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful..._"

Desperately gasping for breath, I scrambled up and continued running.

"_A foolish barber and his wife, she was his reason and his life..._"

I jumped the last couple of stairs, my head hitting the metal door of the bake house.

Ignoring the pain, I pulled the door open with all my strength and ran inside.

"_And she was beautiful, she was virtuous, and he was..._"

"SWEENEY!" I screamed desperately, running forwards.

My feet hit the ground, my hair flying in my face, my eyes staring at Sweeney desperately.

But it was too late.

"SWEENEY!" I screamed again, lunging forwards.

I fell to the ground, my shoulder and arm screaming in pain as they hit the concrete.

Tears streaking down my cheeks, I sat up.

Sweeney was gone.

There was no trace of him, or Lucy, or the little boy.

They were gone.

They had disappeared.

"Sweeney..."

I tried to stand up, but my legs gave way and I crumpled back down to the floor. My body shaking, I screamed as loudly as I could, pain taking over my body.

"SWEENEY!"

Wrapping my arms around myself, I could feel my body fold over, my head hitting the concrete once more.

Sweeney was gone.

I screamed and cried out, tears running down my cheeks at a rapid pace, my body rocking back and forth.

I was too late.

"Sweeney..." I whispered one last time, my voice hoarse. It didn't matter though.

Sweeney was gone, and he was never coming back.

* * *

><p>I'm hoping that none of you were really expecting that . . .<p>

Am I a horrible writer for doing this? I think I am . . .

Thank you PurpleandBlackPandas, CadyD and babyvfan for reviewing.

I feel rather mean now . . .


	49. Sing Me To Sleep

_**Chapter Forty Nine  
><strong>__**Sing Me To Sleep**_

_Sing me to sleep  
><em>_Sing me to sleep  
><em>_I don't want to wake up  
><em>_On my own anymore  
><em>_~Asleep, The Smiths_

* * *

><p>I woke up alone.<p>

I barely slept.

Across the room, I could hear Robyn's small breaths as she slept.

Normally, this would make me smile.

At first, I thought that it was all a dream.

A sick dream.

A nightmare.

But that was my life.

My life was a nightmare.

An endless nightmare without Sweeney.

I couldn't cry. Not now. Not anymore.

I knew that I wanted to cry, that I should cry, but I couldn't.

It was early.

I stared at the clock for a moment, trying to remember the last time that I woke up so early.

I didn't even wake up this early on the day of our wedding.

The wedding seemed like a memory, a distant memory, and nothing more.

A dream, almost.

A beautiful dream, a dream that I dared hope would continue for the rest of my life.

But...no.

Sitting up, I curled my legs up to my chest and hugged them.

This was my punishment.

I dared intervene with fate, change Sweeney's future. He was supposed to die that night, but I stopped him from dying. I had no right to, and I shouldn't have done it. I changed everything, and now I was being punished for it.

Sweeney probably didn't even remember me anymore.

He'd be in Heaven, appreciated as the angel that he truly was.

He'd be with Lucy.

At least that was a consolation. He'd be happy. He'd have Lucy, his wife.

The golden band suddenly felt very heavy around my finger. I lifted my hand and examined it, staring at it.

It meant nothing now.

Absolutely nothing.

I wasn't married, not anymore.

My husband was dead.

Niamh Todd, widow.

Or was it Niamh Quinn now?

Quinn, Todd, whatever. I wouldn't tell anyone my last name. I'd be just Niamh.

Just Niamh.

The story of my life.

I laughed bitterly, finding no humour in the thought.

There wasn't any humour.

Across the room, Robyn began to grumble. I uncurled my legs and stared at the cot, my brow furrowing.

When she recieved no attention, Robyn's grumbles progressed into loud wails, cries for attention and food.

In slow, automatic movements, I got up from the sofa and crossed the room, still frowning.

Seeing me, Robyn reached out with small arms.

I stared down at her.

Robyn continued to cry, kicking her legs as she reached up for me.

"What?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "What is it you want?"

Of course, she couldn't tell me.

"What do you want?" I demanded furiously. "WHAT?"

Robyn's cries became louder, and I realised that I had scared her.

Oh God.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, reaching down and picking her up. "I'm so sorry."

I hugged Robyn close to me, shushing her as I paced, my hand rubbing her back soothingly. She soon stopped crying, burying her head into my shoulder.

Hugging Robyn, I took her down to the shop and then upstairs, to our flat. I knew that she was hungry.

I sat in front of the TV while feeding her, barely registering anything. I was watching a children's channel, the first thing that appeared on the screen when I turned the TV on.

_"Spongebob Squarepants? Really?"_

_"Is that what this is?"_

_"Yep."_

When she was done, I placed Robyn down on her playmat, watching as she amused herself.

_"Sweeney,"_

_"Yes?"_

_"What was the name of your daughter?"_

_"Johanna. Her name was Johanna."_

Robyn Johanna Todd.

How was I going to explain this to her?

How was I going to tell Robyn that her dad was dead?

Maybe, one day, I would tell her.

I would tell her everything. From the day that I lost my first child to the day that Sweeney died.

Everything.

Getting up from the sofa, I sat cross legged next to Robyn, watching her as she played.

"Robyn, do you want to hear a story?"

She gurgled and grinned up at me as one of her toys lit up, making a noise.

"Ok...once upon a time, there was a young woman called Niamh. Niamh lived with a very nasty man that got angry very often, and when he got angry, he hit Niamh. One day, Niamh told him some very good news. She was having a baby. But the nasty man got very angry, and began hitting her again."

"_He hit me. Again."_

_"Again?" _

_"Niamh, you swore that the abuse was over! God dammit, woman, what the hell were you thinking?"_

_"I didn't want you two to think that I'm weak."_

"So Niamh packed her bags and ran away. She lived with her best friends for a few days until she found a shop, this shop. Outside, she met a little girl."

_"Niamh. My name is Niamh."_

_"That's a real pretty name. My name's Nellie."_

_"It's lovely to meet you, Nellie."_

"She didn't see the little girl again until the day she went to see the inside of the shop, but the little girl wasn't the same anymore. She was different. Niamh saw the inside of the shop and fell in love with it, despite the silly rumours."

_"No one else seems to like this shop. There's rumours about it, y'know, ghost stories."_

"Niamh moved in as soon as she could, and was very pleased when she did. But she found a letter, telling her about the scary things that happened during the night. She was very scared when she experienced these things, especially when no one believed her."

_"Honey, are you sure that you weren't just a bit over tired?"_

_"No, I was wide awake and something was in my room."_

"Niamh carried on with her life, trying to ignore the scary things. She went to work and found out that she was going to be the lead part in the musical."

_"The part of Audrey will be played by...Niamh."_

"Of course, she was very happy, especially since the lead man was very good looking. But when she got home, she met another man. Sweeney Todd. Your daddy."

_"What's your name?" _

_"Todd, Sweeney Todd."_

"They argued a lot at first, but they soon began to trust each other. They told each other their stories. They became very close."

_"Just...trust me."_

"They soon fell in love, though why, neither of them were sure. All that mattered, really, was that they were happy. Happy and together. But Niamh made a very bad mistake, and kissed another man."

"_Say it." _

_"Say what?"_

_"Say that you love me."_

_"I love you, Niamh."_

"Niamh and the other man tried to stop what they were doing, but he was convinced that he was in love and she was very confused. It wasn't until they were found out that she realised what she wanted."

_"Please, Sweeney...I love you."_

_"You don't know the meaning of the word."_

"But Sweeney was very hurt, and didn't want Niamh. She went away, to stay with her friends, for a day and then went back to him. She loved him very much, and couldn't stand not being with him."

_"I love you. I love you so much and I'm sorry for what I did. I hate myself and I hate David. But I don't want to loose you. I can't loose you."_

"And, to her surprise, Sweeney forgived her. They stayed together, and Sweeney showed how much he loved Niamh by asking her to marry him."

"_Niamh Olivia Quinn, I love you. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Marry me."_

_"What?"_

_"Marry me." _

"So that's what they did. They got married, but not until after their little girl was born."

_"Robyn Johanna Todd. Do you still like it?"_

_"Of course. Do you?"_

_"I love it."_

"They were very happy, a proper family. Sweeney and Niamh got married and went to Ireland for their honeymoon. When they came back...they argued. And Sweeney was upset. He went downstairs to the bake house and..."

I paused, taking in a deep breath.

"He died. Robyn, your daddy is dead. I'm so sorry."

Tears trickled down my cheeks as I picked Robyn up and held her close, the only living reminder of Sweeney.

* * *

><p>Thank you CadyD, PurpleandBlackPandas, CrystalClear99, babyvfan, LucyInTheSkyWithDiamonds27, luckyroxy, ToddLover13, JDeppIsMyLovely, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle and Comfortably Plump for reviewing!<p>

One more chapter . . . but I can confirm that there will DEFINATELY be a sequel. Still trying to think of a name though!


	50. Goodbye Lullaby

_**Chapter Fifty  
><strong>__**Goodbye Lullaby**_

Depression is an odd thing.

It is like a predator, lingering in the shadows with it's eyes fixed on the next victim.

It just so happens that I am the victim.

_Goodbye, goodbye_

_Goodbye my love_

I hold a sleeping Robyn as I stand by the window, gazing out silently. No thoughts occupy my mind.

It is simply blank.

A blank page.

No words, no pictures, no music.

Blank.

_I can't hide, can't hide_

_Can't hide what has come_

I recieve a text from Mum, telling me that she will be over to pick up Robyn soon.

Robyn is going to spend the day with Grandma.

Mum loves Robyn. She'll look after her.

_I have to go_

_I have to go_

Standing at the window, Robyn in my arms, I find it strange how I don't feel anything.

I feel no pain for the loss of Sweeney, nor any pain knowing that I am going to loose Robyn.

It's odd.

Is this depression?

I don't know.

_I have to go_

_And leave you alone_

I can only feel grateful that I have Mum, a loving adult that will care for Robyn and give her the life I can never give.

I'm sad that I have to go, but it is what I have to do.

Robyn stirs in my arms, waking up.

I gaze down at her silently, rocking her as she begins to fuss, and take her downstairs.

I need to feed her.

_But always know_

_Always know_

_Always know I love you so_

I do love Robyn.

Robyn is my daughter, my first child.

I love her more than words can ever describe.

But she reminds me so much of Sweeney.

It almost hurts.

_I love you so_

_I love you so_

My movements are slow, automatic.

It's as if my body has been taken over, nothing more than a mere puppet in a cruel show of pain and loss.

If this is what I must feel for Robyn to be cared for, then so be it.

I sit down with her and feed her, her usually amusing antics meaning nothing to me.

Nothing.

Nothing scares me.

Such a simple word, yet one that haunts me.

Nothing.

_Goodbye brown eyes_

_Goodbye for now_

After feeding her, I take Robyn upstairs to dress her.

She's so big now.

Her eyes are so beautiful. The same colour as mine, yet filled with a joyful innocence that is never found.

I love her eyes.

_Goodbye sunshine_

_Take care of yourself_

I know that she is going to be cared for, and that is all that really matters.

While Robyn plays in contentment, I pick up a notepad and pen, sitting down on the ground next to her.

Taking off the lid of the pen, I begin to write.

_I have to go_

_I have to go_

_Mum, _I write.

_By the time that you are reading this, I will be gone._

_Sweeney and I are in trouble. We've been in trouble for a long time, and now Robyn's life is in danger. We've left. Inside the bag I've given you are two envelopes. One of them is a letter for Robyn that I want you to give to her when she is eleven. Do not read it beforehand. It is for Robyn only._

_The other envelope contains the key to the shop. Do what you want. Take anything you want. Sell it, if you have to._

_I'm sorry, Mum._

_I'm so sorry._

_I must be a disappointment, and I'm not proud of myself for doing this. But I'm not going to risk my only daughter being hurt because of my foolishness._

_I'm not a strong person. I'm like Dad. I'm weak._

_I love you so much. Please tell Ciaran, Eoghan, Bronagh and Ryan that I love them as well. Never let Robyn forget that I love her. _

_Niamh._

Lies.

The whole letter is filled with lies.

_I have to go_

_And leave you alone_

We are not in trouble. Robyn's life is not in danger. I have not been foolish.

But I do love her.

I love Mum. I love Ciaran and Eoghan. I love Bronagh. I love Ryan.

But most of all, I love Sweeney and Robyn.

Which is why I must do this.

_But always know_

_Always know_

_Always know_

_That I love you so_

Oh Robyn.

I love you.

I love you so much.

You don't understand, not really. You're too young. You're lying on your back, tugging at your toys and squealing with delight each time they light up or begin to play music. Your life is simple but happy.

So unlike mine.

Taking an envelope, I place the letter for Mum into it and put that to one side. Picking up my notepad once more, I begin another letter.

_I love you so_

_Oh_

_I love you so_

_Ohh_

This is Robyn's letter.

I write everything down that I want her to know, because she'll deserve the truth when she's older.

_Never forget that we're watching over you, and I hope that one day, you may be able to bring yourself to forgive me._

_Your father and I love you, Robyn Johanna Todd. _

_Never forget it._

_Mum_

I finish it with a kiss, folding the letter and holding it close to my chest.

Oh Robyn.

I am sorry.

I am so sorry.

_La-lullaby distract me with your rhymes_

_La-lullaby_

Robyn is dressed, her bag is packed.

She's ready.

I'm ready.

Mum doesn't take long to arrive, and I'm glad when she does.

"Hello, love!"

As always, she hugs me tight and kisses my cheek. I hug her back, burying my face into her shoulder so that I can inhale the musky scent of her perfume.

Mum.

"Are you alright?" She asks suddenly, holding me out at arms length. She looks worried, concerned.

"I'm fine," I insist. _Lie. _"Why?"

"You look pale. Are you sleeping alright?"

"Of course I am. I'm just feeling a bit ill, that's all."

Mum doesn't look convinced, but doesn't press on.

"Right, I was thinking about taking this one to the zoo," She announces with a wide grin. "I've got Bronagh and Ryan with me."

"Robyn will like that." I say, forcing out a smile.

It hurts.

_La-lullaby help me sleep tonight_

_La-lullaby_

"Are you sure that you're alright?" Mum asks again.

_(la-lullaby)_

"Yes Mum."

_La-lullaby_

"Alright, then. I'll see you later."

"Have fun at the zoo."

I hug Mum again and kiss her cheek before kneeling in front of you, Robyn. I gaze at you silently, brushing your hair out of your face before leaning forwards and kissing your forehead.

"I love you." I whisper, so that only you can hear.

When Mum is gone, I shut the door and turn to the hidden steps.

_I have to go_

_I have to go_

My legs are shaking as I walk forwards, taking slow and reluctant steps.

I haven't been downstairs since that night.

_I have to go and leave you alone_

_But always know_

_Always know_

_Always know that I love you so_

I just hope that Robyn knows that I love her.

I do.

It may not seem like it, but I do love her.

I'm doing this for her own good.

_I love you so_

_I love you so_

But I love Sweeney.

I love Sweeney, and I don't think that I can live without him.

I don't want to live without him.

_I love you so_

The door of the bakehouse is still open.

_I love you so_

I step inside, shutting it behind me.

_I love you so_

I make sure it's locked before walking forwards, kneeling down.

_I love you so_

I pick up the razor.

_Goodbye brown eyes_

I do it here, in this way, because it means something.

It's poetic, really.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I cut my throat with one quick flick of my wrist.

I feel a stab of searing pain, but then nothing.

Nothing.

I can feel my body slump, falling to the ground as I bleed, but I feel no pain.

Nothing.

As my eyes slide shut, death drawing closer than ever before, I can only think one thing.

_Goodbye my love_

I'm sorry, Robyn.

* * *

><p>~Goodbye Lullaby, Avril Lavigne<p>

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story; you guys are the reason that I continue to write. Please look out for the sequel _In The Dark Beside You. _

Bet you all hate me for the ending!


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